Through Her Eyes, I Found Myself
by scgrl8259
Summary: It's her senior year of college and Santana still doesn't know what she wants to do with her life. When Brittany comes into Santana's life, she is reminded just how much of herself she has lost over the years and now, she is ready for that to change. Santana POV
1. Chapter 1

When I get back to my apartment it's a little past 11 and Quinn, as usual, is sitting on the couch playing her game boy. I may tease her all the time for it, but I steal it and play when she isn't home. She gets pissed at me because I always ruin whatever game she's playing, but whatever.

"Out with Brian?" she calls from the couch.

Brian is this guy I hang out with every so often. I met him at school. We are nothing more than friends, but Quinn and Brian (no matter how many times I tell them both otherwise) don't seem to think the same way.

"Yep," I say and plop down next to her, kicking out my feet to rest on the coffee table.

"San, its 11 on a Friday night. What are you doing home?"

"Well, it's good to see you too Quinn." I say as I pat her leg. I should be asking _her_ that question. Quinn is the one who is never here and always out working on her big art project that I keep hearing about.

"Oh, come on San. I didn't mean it like that." I know that she didn't, but still. If I want to be home on a Friday night, then _I will be_. "You know that I love seeing your beautiful face," she jokes taking my face in her hands and squishing my cheeks together.

I curl up my nose in disgust. "That's because I'm the hottest bitch up in this town. Everyone should be so lucky as to get to look at this," I tease, but I'm not teasing because I know I'm hot.

Quinn just looks over at me with an expression I can't exactly read. Quinn is a really hard person to read and, although I have known her most of my life, I can never quite tell what she is thinking. "Is everything all right with you?" her voice is soft and her tone serious.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just that you don't really talk that much anymore. I mean, you used to sit here and tell me about all the stupid people in your classes. Or go on some rant about how school is just a prison that is draining the life from you, but now you just come home and disappear." I want to scoff at her, but something in her face tells me that she is being serious.

"I don't know what's going on with me," I sigh because it's true, I _don't_ know.

Maybe I am just stressed about school? Taking six classes this semester is proving to be a mistake. I am just thankful that my dad is paying for everything outside of my scholarship because I definitely can't handle a job right now.

"Santana, I'm your best friend," she lets out in a soft tone, turning her whole body to face me. "I know when you are not yourself. And _as_ your best friend, I think that you need to get laid." I let out a sharp gasp.

"Quinn!" I shout.

"Santana I am just trying to help! Look, when is the last time you have been with anyone?" I shrug because I haven't actually thought about it. The last person I slept with was Puck and that was almost two years ago. I stopped sleeping around when I admitted to myself that I'm not attracted to guys. "Maybe you and Brian should hookup."

I grab the nearest pillow and smack her with it. "Shut it Fabray! You have no room to talk. I mean have you ever even _had_ sex?"

Quinn's face hardens at my words. Her eyes narrow and her tone drops when she speaks, "I had a _baby_ in high school Santana and I am not about to go and make that mistake again."

I know that is a sore subject for Quinn so I don't bring it up again.

"Brian is just a friend," I breathe out. "We study together. That's all. I don't even _want_ to sleep with him."

"Why not, San? He's hot. You're hot," she tries to reason. I just drop my face into my hands and shake my head. Quinn can be very persistent when she has an idea. It's how she became captain of the Cheerios in high school. "Just think about it," and then she stands up and disappears into her bedroom.

Truth is, I don't want to think about it. I don't want to sleep with Brian. I don't want to sleep with Puck. Or any other guy for that matter.

I just grab the blanket that's on the end of the couch and cuddle up with myself because I am way too tired to get up and go into my room. Mercedes had asked Quinn, Rachel and I for help to move into her new apartment across town. I have been up since five this morning and now I just can't move.

So I won't.

/

I wake up to the smell of coffee and a very awake Quinn. She is such a morning person and it's pretty annoying because I can never drag myself out of bed in the morning. It takes me at least a half hour of slipping in and out of consciousness before I can muster up enough energy to get myself up.

But since Quinn is hovering over me and offering me a steaming hot cup of coffee, I guess I can make an exception just this once.

"Mornin," Quinn sing-songs offering me the cup in her hands and sounding more awake than should be allowed at this hour. Actually I have no idea what time it is, I just assume it's early because Quinn is _always_ up at the ass crack of dawn.

"Ugh," I groan and slowly sit up to take the cup from her hands. "What time is it?" I ask while taking a sip of coffee. It burns on the way down, but it feels so good. My back hurts from sleeping on this damn lumpy couch and since I was so tired I literally fell asleep in a ball and didn't move all night. I stretch out and sigh at all the pops along my spine.

"Its 7:05," Quinn replies in a chipper voice.

"Q, you do realize it's a Saturday, right?" I look around the living room that is still somewhat dark because the sun hasn't reached the windows yet.

"Yeah and..." she trails off.

"So, why is your crazy ass out of bed this damn early on a Saturday?"

"You know Santana, not everyone can just lie in bed all day and do nothing. Some people actually like social interaction. You know, _with people_, as in human beings."

"Hey," I scoff. "I can't help that everyone else is a loser. Let's face it Q, we're lucky I can stand _your_ company." Quinn and I are so different. We don't like the same things and we are almost complete opposites, but she still somehow manages to be my best friend.

"Oh, San, please. We both know how lost you would be without me." I roll my eyes at her, but can't help but agree. "You would starve to death and the cops would come find your cold, dead body withering away in your bed because you are too damn lazy to get your ass up to get to the grocery store or even to the _refrigerator_ for that matter to feed yourself."

"I am doing a public service. Q, you know if I go to the grocery store, somebody won't make it out alive. I mean people stand, _just stand_, right in front of you with their carts. And don't even get me started on the coupon people. I mean, _my God_, it's just 15 cents."

Quinn starts laughing at me, while I am actually getting flustered just thinking about the oh-so-wonderful adventures of the grocery store.

"Whatever Santana, but you better be in a good mood later when we go to lunch. And you better get along with Rachel," she points a finger at me.

"Yeah, _why_ do I have to go again?" I ask as I take another sip of my coffee.

"Because Rachel wants us to meet her new roommate." I scoff at Quinn's answer because since when are Berry and I friends. Last I checked she was still an annoying little toy sized human. "San," Quinn warns, "you _owe_ Rachel and I know deep, deep, _deep_, deep down inside that seemingly cold heart of yours, you actually like her. I also happen to know that you feel guilty that you killed her fish last week."

I let out a long sigh because, yeah, the little midget is annoying as hell. And, yeah, I would love nothing more than to stick a sock in the ginormous mouth of hers and never hear her talk again, but she is as loyal as friends come and it's actually a pretty endearing trait in this world. And how the hell was I supposed to know that a fish would die if I accidentally put a drop of tequila in the bowl?!

"Okay, fine." I say with some bitterness, "but I can't promise I'll be happy. So, what's this girls name anyway?"

"Her name is Brittany and Rachel says that you better be nice to her because she really needs this girls help with the rent and if you scare her away, she will 'accidentally' kill _you._"

"Berry did not say that!" I almost shout because, come on Rachel doesn't have the lady balls to threaten me. I am bad ass Lopez, I gave her fish tequila. She knows what I am capable of. Even though it might have been on accident, but she can never know that.

"Okay, she didn't, but _I_ am saying that," Quinn retorts. "I know how you can be, Santana, and Rachel and I would really like to enjoy this lunch without you making it a living hell."

"Fine. I'll play nice, but if this girl is asking for it, there is only so much I can do to contain my inner Snixx." I give Quinn my winning smile before getting up off the couch and heading towards the bathroom to get a shower.

/

"You guys," I whine as Quinn and Rachel drag me through the doors of the large building.

Turns out, because I woke up so early, I've had a major headache all day and now I am really hungry. This is why I stay in bed. It is literally hazardous to my health to get up so early.

"Santana, shut up," Quinn shoots at me. It also turns out that Quinn has received the benefits of my bitchiness today as she was the cause of my trauma. "So, Rachel, is Brittany going to meet us at the restaurant later?"

"Actually, I think she is coming to meet us here. She had a meeting or something with one of her teachers and I told her we can all go together from here." Rachel turns towards me. "Santana I would really appreciate it if you made her feel welcome. I know that you don't particularly like _me_, but don't shun this poor girl just because she lives with me."

"Berry, please. If you are worried that she will steal your spotlight in terms of me verbally harassing you, then you have nothing to worry about because as far as my insulting goes, you will always be number one on my list." I set my bag on the floor and drop down.

"And I already gave her a verbal warning," Quinn adds and joins me on the floor.

"I _am_ capable of being nice," I say while giving Rachel a glare. Other people are starting to file in and there is a slight buzzing sound ringing around the room.

"Really, because that would be a side of you, Santana, that I have never seen." Rachel sets her stuff down on the floor and begins doing these weird leg stretches that I haven't even thought about since my last day of Cheerios. I decide to get up and do the stretches with Rachel.

When I was on the Cheerios in high school, my least favorite thing to do was stretch. I absolutely hated it. It was probably because I wasn't all that flexible in the beginning. I was eventually able to do it without it making my legs feel like they were going to fall off.

Quinn gets up and lifts one leg so that it's fully stretched out above her head and she is balancing on the other one. Is there anything that Quinn can't do? God it's so annoying.

I let out a grumble before turning away from them. I need to use the restroom before this stupid class starts.

We all decided one day that it would be a great idea to take a spinning class. I absolutely hate it, but since I already paid so much money, not only to be a member of the gym, but also for this class, I keep coming. That and Quinn always drags me here against my will.

I am walking into the bathroom and already have my headphones in my ears because I can't stand listening to Quinn and Rachel gossip during the class. I like to be at peace while I exercise. So, I have my ear phones in and I'm trying to put together a playlist before class starts. I push open the door and as I'm stepping in, someone is stepping out.

The next thing I know is that my back hits the door handle that's behind me.

"Shit," I cry out, my eyes pinched shut. My hand shoots behind my back to rub at the sore spot. That's going to bruise. I know it.

I'm so disoriented that I don't even realize that I hit the door because someone pushed me into it.

All the sudden I feel hands wrap around my shoulders. I open my eyes to find bright blue ones staring right at me. She is saying something to me, but I can't hear anything because my head phones are still in. I reach up and quickly pull one out.

"-okay? I swear I didn't see you there," She says, panic written all over her face.

"Damn," I say. "You should be a linebacker or something." I try to make it sound snarky, but I don't think it does because her mouth curls up into the tiniest smile.

"Are you okay?" she quickly asks again, ignoring my comment.

"What? Y-yeah. Totally. I'm fine. I feel like someone just threw a cement brick at my back, but I'm fine." I stare at her a little longer than I probably should, but it's almost like I can't help it. She is really beautiful and anyone who isn't blind could see that. And those damn eyes. I shake my head to stop myself from starring.

I push away from the wall and reach for the handle of the other door again.

"Well, nice running into you," the girl says. I turn around to look at her again. She winks at me before stepping out into the hall.

That was weird.

I get back into the room where the spinning class is and take my seat next to Quinn.

I _really_ don't want to do this today. I still have a headache from this morning and now it's pounding even more. The spot on my back that hit the door handle keeps rubbing against the back of the seat on the bike, causing little jolts of rain to rush over my body. Not to mention, the thoughts that are running through my mind from the person who caused the accident to happen.

Why did that girl wink at me? She was really beautiful. Her eyes were _so_ blue too. Why the hell am I still thinking about it? About _her_? I probably won't ever see her again anyway.

I don't know if it's the lack of sleep or the pain, but I am starting to get dizzy. I get up from my bike and head toward the door in the back of the room. One of the compromises for dragging me to this place was that we sit in the back of the room. Quinn and Rachel don't even notice me leaving, probably because they are too absorbed in whatever they are talking about.

I make my way to the drinking fountain, grasping onto the wall for support. The water is so much colder than the water in my water bottle. Immediately I feel a little better. Not so dizzy anymore, but still not feeling too good.

"Hey," I hear a voice call from down the hall. I turn to see a familiar blonde walking toward me. "Are you all right?" she asks in a soft voice.

"I'm fine." I say quickly not wanting to embarrass myself any further. She comes to a stop right in front of me and I can't help but notice the way that her skin is glistening. She is wearing a low cut top, showing off her toned chest. I shake my head because I am staring again. "Do you just hang around the hallways or something?" I ask, bringing a hand to wipe away the sweat on my forehead.

"I work here. I'm a personal trainer. I just started and I only have one client, but she pays _really _well."

"Oh?" I ask a little intrigued. That would explain how awesome her body looks. She is so toned its ridiculous...and _incredibly_ sexy.

"Yep! Her name is something Motta?"

"Sugar? Sugar Motta?" I ask.

Brittany thinks for a moment before answering. "That sounds right. You know her?"

"Yeah, I have a few classes with her. She says she only goes to school for the experience."

"Yeah, that sounds like her. I am actually here to meet some friends." I fold my hands across my chest. "They're in a spinning class or something? Then we are going out to lunch."

"Brittany?" I question.

"Um…yes," she answers hesitantly. Her eyes narrow at me.

"I'm one of the friends," I say, giving her a slight smile.

Her eyes relax in recognition. "Santana?"

My smile grows and stretches across my face. "How'd you guess?"

"Well," she slides over to the other side of me and leans up against the wall, "you're not Rachel. Obviously. And she told me Quinn was blonde. So, that leaves you. Santana."

I nod my head before speaking again. "So, you live with Rachel?" she nods. "I'm sorry," I say.

Brittany lets out a small giggle and I swear it's my new favorite sound.

"Why?" she laughs. "I know I've only been there for a couple of days, but she seems really nice." While Brittany is talking I can't help but watch her, she is so interesting, yet I know _nothing_ about her. "Wait? Rachel's not some secret cereal killer who is going to steal all my fruit loops and eat them all is she? I knew it. I was getting a weird vibe from her."

"What?" I laugh. "No. Rachel is harmless. She just talks_ way_ too much and sings all the time." I say between breaths because I am laughing so hard. "But, your fruit loops might be in danger because those are my favorite and Quinn never buys them."

"Oh, so you're telling me _you_ are the one I should be watching out for?" Brittany playfully pushes my shoulder. I let out a soft laugh and shove her back. "But if you like Fruit Loops so much then why don't you go to the store and buy them?"

"Um, well, me and the grocery store don't get along. I can't stand all the people. They either move way to slow or just stop and stand right in front of you. I just-I can't go there." Normally I would be embarrassed for revealing this about myself with someone so new, but something about Brittany is just comfortable. Her presence is comforting. "Quinn never gets fun food. She only gets that really weird cereal that tastes like cardboard." I make a discussed face just thinking about it. That cereal is seriously the worst, but I have no choice but to eat it because that's what is in the apartment.

"Well," Brittany sing-songs, "I always have fruit loops at my place, so if you ever want any you can come over and get some. Oh but you have to bring your own spoon and bowl." I just look at her quizzically for a moment and then she smiles a little. "I'm kidding," she adds when I don't say anything.

"Yeah," I say. "I knew that," except I didn't really. Now she looks at me with one eyebrow raised as if she knew that I thought she was being serious. "Okay fine," I finally let out. "I didn't know you were kidding. It's just- I thought that maybe Rachel had given you some crazy ass rule about not letting anyone outside the two of you using any of your dishes." Rachel is weird like that.

Brittany starts to laugh a little.

"Rachel would do that?" she suddenly asks seriously.

"Well, she is always coming up with weird rules whenever I go over there, so I dunno. Maybe?" Rachel is one of those people who are super particular about everything that she does. "One time I came over there and she wouldn't let me touch anything that was green. She never told me why but now that I think about it, she was probably just doing that to me to piss me off." I say sort of thinking out loud.

"Do you two not get along or something?" Brittany looks up to meet my eyes.

"I guess it would appear that way to someone who doesn't really know our dynamic. I kind of pick on her, but that's just how I am with people. Rachel is a really good friend." I admit.

"You know, Rachel told me you might be a little hard to get along with, but I don't understand what she was talking about. You seem like a really nice person," she admits and I swear I see a bit of blush forming oh her cheeks.

"Really? She told you to watch out for me?" Brittany nods. I am really not surprised, but I wanna know what Brittany thinks about me. For some reason I feel the need to impress her. "You are probably the only person on this planet who would say that I am nice."

"Well that's because it's true," she shrugs while flashing me with her gorgeous smile.

/

I return to the class a couple of minutes later, but it's to no avail because the class is over.

As I walk in Quinn is already insulting me. "Santana" she cat calls. "Rachel and I were thinking about calling up Britney Spears and seeing if we can't get you an audition for a backup dancer." Quinn is laughing hysterically and when I look to Rachel she has a frightened expression.

"Quinn!" Rachel screams "Santana, I did not say that I swear!" Rachel seems genuinely frightened that I am going to hurt her, it's good to know that the fear still lives within her even after all these years that we have been friends. Lopez has still got it.

They must have been talking about our night out a few weekends ago. I was really drunk and I apparently tried to get on stage and dance. I made a complete fool of myself. I don't remember a thing about it though.

"Relax Berry. I know you don't have the guts to say anything like that about me and even if you did, Quinn would never tell me because she knows I would go all Lima Heights on your ass." I say before I turn to Quinn and give her a death glare. "You better sleep with one eye open tonight Fabray." I swear these two are impossible sometimes.

Quinn just rolls her eyes as at me. I continue to walk past them and over to the wall to gather my things. I am just about to pick up my over-sized gym bag when I feel something pokes me in the ribs.

"Hey," Brittany sings. "I just met you. And this is crazy." Is she really singing this song to me? "But here's my hand, so let me help you maybe?" she extends her arm out towards me and grabs the strap of my bag. My eyes momentarily widen before they go back to normal size.

"I mean just...wanky." I say when she reaches to grab the bag from my hands. She stares at me with a blank expression. "You did not just sing a version of 'Call me Maybe' did you?" I ask because everyone knows that when you hear that song, it's stuck in your head for days. I just got it out of my head because Rachel had been singing it nonstop since Wednesday.

"What? You didn't like it?" Brittany asks with a small pout.

I didn't me to upset her. It's just that song is super annoying. "No, I mean, you have a lovely voice, I just- that song gets in your head once you hear it. Ja feel?" I heard that on a movie the other day and I really wanted to use it.

"Ja definitely feel," she responds back with a smirk. "I love that movie," what are the odds.

"Hey, me too. What's it called again?" I ask and bend down to pick up my water bottle that is still on the floor.

"37 Jump Street... wait, that doesn't sound right," she says as she lifts her hand to her chin. "21 Jump Street," she corrects herself after a few moments.

I let out a soft laugh and we begin to walk toward the doors that lead out of the room. She gets to the door first and holds it open for me.

"Thanks," I mumble. "You don't have to carry my bag you know? I can handle it," I say.

"Can you?" she asks. "I saw you trying to pick this thing up, it looked like you were going to topple over. I think you can actually fit inside this bag if you tried hard enough," she says it as if she is actually considering the idea. "We should totally try that sometime." I assume she is joking, so I let out a nervous laugh.

"You're hilarious," I say because it's true.

"Hilarious or crazy?" she winks at me again and I feel something flutter inside my chest.

"Definitely hilarious," I smirk at her.

"Most people think I'm weird, so thanks," she admits in a small voice, suddenly not seeming so confident.

"I don't think you're weird at all. In fact, I've only know you for like what, two hours? And I can already tell you are awesome." Brittany lowers her gaze to the floor and smiles shyly. She scuffs her foot across the floor and looks up at me.

"I can tell you are awesome already too," she breathes, avoiding eye contact.

"Most people would say I am a bitch, so thanks." I repeat what she had said a moment ago.

She smiles at me before speaking again, "So are you coming with Quinn to our apartment? They were going to help unpack the rest of my things."

"Oh. Uh- yeah I guess I could help too. I mean, I don't know how much help the hobbit and her side kick will be, so I am your best bet to getting anything done anyway."

"What do you mean by that? Rachel was pretty helpful when I moved the stuff inside." Brittany looks at me like I am talking about a different person. Which I kind of am. Ever since our last year in high school, Rachel and Quinn have become really close friends. It's still really weird seeing as most of Quinn's high school career was dedicated to making Rachel Berry cry. When they are together, they are total nut cases. Quinn is my best friend but even I can't get her to act like she is having that good a time. They always end up getting distracted by something though.

"Oh, you'll just have to see for yourself," I say before smiling back at her. "I do have to stop by my place before I head over though. Rachel wanted to borrow a few of my movies."

"Okay" Brittany says before handing over my bag. She was right when she said I would almost topple over because it almost happens again. I stumble to my right and she quickly grabs my elbow to steady me.

"Careful," she laughs. "You sure you can handle that bag?"

"Yeah, I totally got this," I say while adjusting the strap on my shoulder so I can carry it better. "The weight just caught me off guard is all?" I am not used to carrying all this stuff in my bag. I forgot to take my computer out earlier, so it's extra heavy right now.

"Alright," Brittany lets go of my elbow and I immediately miss her touch, though I am not really sure why.

/

When I get to Rachel and Brittany's apartment they are already almost finished with moving Brittany's things into her room. I should really say that_ Brittany_ is almost finished because Quinn and Rachel are sitting on the couch watching what I can only assume is some Broadway thing Rachel insisted that Quinn watch. Quinn isn't really into the whole Broadway scene like Rachel is, but she likes to sit and make fun of it. It's actually really funny because Rachel gets really agitated trying to defend everything. Kurt used to be Rachel's go to person with all of these things, but since we have been away at college she has taking it up with Quinn. _And_ since Rachel really loves Broadway musicals she will watch it with anyone who is willing, even if that means the person will only make fun of it.

Brittany comes to greet me at the door. "Hey," she breathes out. She sounds a little exhausted, but that's probably because she has been doing all the work.

"Hi," I greet back with a smile.

"You were right about those two. They were helpful for like 2 minutes before they just started watching this weird musical thing on Rachel's phone. Rachel said it was urgent and that this new Broadway girl will be her main competition in life or something like that." Rachel has been studying at this school called NYADA which is supposed to be some top of the line school specifically made for students who want to peruse careers in Broadway. She has recently made it her life's goal to scout for potential competition; anyone with an ounce of talent is an immediate threat to her. I guess it makes sense that she likes to watch these videos with Quinn because she points out all their flaws. "She asked if I wanted to watch with them, but I don't know anything about 'the Broadway' so I said I would rather move these boxes into my room."

"Ha, I don't blame you. That stuff is pretty lame if you ask me," I say. "Alright," I pick up the first box I see, "show me where to go."

Brittany bends to pick up another box as well and she nods toward the direction of her bedroom. There isn't much in her room, but why would there be? She did just move in a couple days ago. However she does have a gigantic poster of a duck hanging on her wall. I let out a short laugh when I see it.

"What's with the duck?" I ask with a huge smile on my face. I have just never seen an adult with an enormous poster of a duck hanging on their wall.

"That's Quackers," she says as if I should already know this. "I know it probably looks stupid because what adult has a picture of a duck hanging on their bedroom wall?" I let out a giggle that I tried to stifle and she looks a little hurt and _very_ adorable. "Look a duck saved my life once okay," she says defensively and I can't help the silly grin that is spread across my face.

"I'm sorry- I- how did a duck save your life?" I ask because I really want to know.

"Oh, you don't want to hear the story. It's stupid," she looks down to the ground and I can see some color forming on her cheeks.

"Please?" I beg. "I promise I won't think it's stupid. And plus, how can it be stupid if it means that you're still here?" She still doesn't look like she is going to tell the story so I puff out my lower lip and give her puppy dog eyes.

She rolls her eyes at me and lets out a sigh. "Okay, so once I had the hiccups for a really long time. Like, for _five_ days straight and one day I just decided that was it. I was going to die because my chest was hurting so bad from hiccupping all the time. Anyway, I decided that if I was going to go out like this, I wanted to do it in a peaceful place. So, I went to the park and laid down on one of the benches. Then out of nowhere a duck, Quackers I later named him, came up next to me and let out the loudest quack I have ever heard. He scared me so bad I almost peed my pants. But he cured my hiccups and saved my life."

I drop the box I am carrying on the bed. I collapse on the mattress and begin to roll around with laughter.

"I know, it sounds really stupid, but when you are four years only and have had the hiccups for five days straight, you start to think that the end is near." She looks around the room bashfully.

"Hey," I say and get up to stand in front of her. "It's not stupid." I am still smiling like an idiot and another laugh escapes my throat. "I didn't mean to laugh like that. I just have never heard anything like that before," she still isn't looking at me. I reach up automatically and I gently rub up and down her arm. She looks up to my face almost immediately, but she still doesn't look me in the eyes. It's almost like she is trying to decide if I am being truthful or not. "It's not stupid," I say again to prove my point. "It's really cute," when I say this she snaps her eyes to mine.

"Cute?" she asks her crystal clear blue eyes never leaving mine.

"Yeah, and that poster is just you paying respect to a childhood hero who saved your life." Brittany smiles now, it's not big, but her whole face seems to light up. My eyes flicker down to her lips and then back up to her eyes a couple of times. I awkwardly cough because I am pretty certain that I just thought about kissing her.

Right then her phone rings pulling us out of our eye contact. She looks down at the phone on her bed that says 'dad calling'.

"I have to take this," she says and goes to answer the phone and I give a slight nod. "Hello," she says while walking to the opposite side of the room towards the window. I just sit back down on the edge of the bed and continue to look around the room, though nothing particular is in here yet. "Yeah," I hear her say "dad, no I want to come," come where? I think to myself. "Okay," she sounds a little disappointed now. "Well when she wakes up can you tell her I love her?" Brittany's voice cracks a little and I hear her sniffle. "Okay," she repeats. "Thanks dad," she hangs up the phone and her hand immediately goes to her eye. I assume she is whipping away a tear or something.

"Are you alright?" I ask gently from where I am sitting on the bed. "Do you want to be alone? I can g-"

"N-no, please stay," she cuts me off between sniffles. "I'm okay." I stare at her for a moment, not quite believing her. "Really." Her shoulder slumping say otherwise.

"Okay. Well, do you want to talk about it?" I only ask because I really don't know what else to say. I know that if the situation was reversed I wouldn't really want to talk about it, but then again I might if it was Brittany asking. I just feel so drawn to her. Not just physically either. I mean, she _is_ extremely attractive, but I feel emotionally drawn to her. Kind of like I have already known her for years instead of only a couple of hours.

"I- I don't want to make you listen to my sob st-"

"Stop right there, if it's making you this upset, it's not some sob story. And I would love to listen, if that's what you need," actually seeing Brittany cry is really heart breaking. She is so beautiful and she deserves to be happy all the time if possible.

"Well, my mother had a heart attack last night," Brittany comes to sit down next to me on the bed and when she says that I immediately put my hand over hers to comfort her. "I was calling my professors earlier to see if there was any way I could maybe reschedule my tests, but they said they couldn't do it." She sniffles again and I take a look at her eyes and see that there are tears forming. I raise my hand from hers and move it to her back. I make small circles there to try and calm her down. "They don't know how serious it is right now because the doctor couldn't get in to see her until this morning. They ran some tests and found there was something blocking her artery." I just keep listening and rubbing her back because I don't know what else to do. "She had surgery and I really want to go see her, but I can't and wh-what if this is the l-last chance I ever have?" she drops her head into her hands as sobs rack her body.

I pull Brittany into a hug as she cries onto my shoulder. "Hey," I whisper while my hand combs through her hair. "You can't think like that, okay?" I gently push her shoulders back a little so I can see her face, but she won't make eye contact. "Look at me," I gently tilt her chin up with a finger and she looks me in the eyes, "your mom will be okay, and you will get to see her again."

Of course I don't know that that is true or not, but what else do you say in a situation like this? She doesn't seem completely convinced either, but she has stopped shaking. I reach up to cup her cheek with one of my hands and whip away any tears that still linger there. Brittany leans into my touch a little and I find myself staring at her lips again.

"Rachel was _so_ wrong about you," Brittany breathes and now _I_ can't make eye contact. "I think you might be the sweetest person I have ever met." When she says this I meet her eyes again and find that they are nothing but truthful. I see _her_ gaze lower to my lips this time and I feel myself parting and wetting my own.

It's the tiniest of movements, but I'm pretty sure Brittany is leaning in closer. My heart rate is speeding up. My eyes are falling closed.

"Hey Brittany, do you still need hel-" Quinn stops short and eyes us both for a minute. My hand is still resting on Brittany's cheek but I retract it quickly and scoot away. "Oh- Santana, when did you get here?"

I try to calm my erratic heartbeat. The way Brittany was just looking at me- Did she want to kiss me too? She's probably not even gay. Am I? I mean, it's not like that possibility has never crossed my mind. There has only been one incident where I actually liked a girl in that way, until now. That was back in high school though. Sure I find women attractive, but so does Quinn.

I must have been quiet for too long because Brittany answers Quinn and snaps me out of my thoughts. "She got here like 20 minutes ago." Have I really been here that long? I only moved one box. Shit, I'm not much help either. "We're finished now, so if you wanna go back out there with Rachel that's fine," Brittany smiles at Quinn.

"Oh, alright then. Sorry we kind of got distracted." Quinn says with an apologetic look towards Brittany.

"Don't even worry about it. Santana has been a big help," she smiles. "and distractions happen." Brittany turns her head toward me and grins. I just nod before looking back to Quinn in the doorway.

"I am actually going to head back to the apartment to grab some stuff, then I'll be back. Santana, I will see you when I get back."

"Y-yeah" I manage to get out. The sound of my voice surprises me. It's weak and unsure.

With that Quinn turns and walks out the door leaving me alone with Brittany again.

"So, you liked 21 Jump Street?" Brittany asks turning my attention back to her.

"Um- yes?" I say. I wasn't expecting her to ask about that. I don't really know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that.

"Me too. It's one of my favorites." Brittany tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "I am actually going through a Johnny Depp phase right now. I am trying to watch all of his movies, which is actually really difficult because there are a lot. I mean A. lot." I laugh because she is being adorable again. I think this girl could make anything look adorable.

"Well, you are in luck then," I tap her knee. "Because Quinn and I love him. We have all the Pirates movies and a bunch of his old stuff."

"Pirate movies?" she asks confused, "like illegal ones?"

"No, no. The pirates of the Caribbean movies. You know, Captain Jack Sparrow?" I say in my best pirate voice. She stares at me like I'm crazy. "Oh come on, you haven't seen those? You can't be a Depp fan and not have seen the pirates movies."

"It's a recent phase," she says. "like two days ago recent."

"Well, if you would like you can totally come over and I will help you cross a few of those movies off your list. Like I said, Quinn and I have a lot of them, so we can make a pretty big dent." Brittany smiles back at me. Her whole face is lit up. Her eyes look so beautiful. I don't know if it's just because I just saw her so sad and I am happy to see her happy again, or her eyes are always this beautiful. Who am I kidding? I _know_ they are always this beautiful. This is only like the tenth time I have thought about her eyes in the whole three hours that I have known her.

"I would love that," she replies.

"Cool," I say. "We can eat ice cream and sit in front of the couch all day. If you are free tomorrow, we can do it then? I don't have anything going on all day."

"Actually I can't." My shoulders drop at the news, Brittany must see my disappointment. "I'm kind of busy this week, but how about sometime next week?"

"Alright," she looks back at me and I see a hint of sadness written across her face. "Hey," I say softly. "You sure you're okay?"

"Mhm" Brittany's eyes scan my face then adds, "I have a feeling that everything will turn out just fine."

* * *

**Let me know what you think... I have a few more chapters written, but I just want to know what everyone thinks so far.**

**Thanks :)**


	2. Chapter 2

"Rachel, if you want to live to see another day, you will back up_ right_ now!" My pants are covered in cherry slushy because Rachel decided it was a good idea to do an impromptu performance in the middle of the restaurant. Now I'm sitting here, with red stains all over my pants and Rachel invading my personal space.

Rachel doesn't seem to get the message because she is _still _in my bubble. "Santana, stop being so dramatic," she snaps.

"Oh... _I'm _being dramatic?" I say pointing my finger into my chest and standing up out of my chair. "That's big talk coming from someone who decided to take a vow of silence _for a whole week_ because I said I didn't like Barbra Streisand!"

Rachel lets out a gasp, bringing her hand up to cover her heart. "You do not speak of Barbra," she says lowly. "You are to never speak her name. Those were the terms, Santana." She points her finger at me with a glare in her eyes.

In her defense, though I don't know why I am defending Berry, I _did_ say that.

"Yeah, and I'm starting to wonder why I ever agreed to that. Those were the most peaceful seven days I have had since I've moved here."

Just then, Quinn and Brittany round the corner carrying trays with our food on it.

"What the hell is going on here? We could hear you across the restaurant," Quinn hisses setting the trays down and looking between the two of us. "Seriously, we were gone for like five minutes." She looks over to me and notices the stain on my pants. "Santana I have heard of PMS, but this is just ridiculous."

"Very funny Quinn," I grab a napkin off the table and continue to blot up the stain on my pants, but it's not really coming off. I am going to kill Rachel if I can't get this stain out. These are my go to pants. They're like the perfect pair of jeans. They fit just right and they make my ass look fantastic.

If they are ruined, I will have to find a new pair and I just don't think I am ready to let go yet. These are a once in a lifetime pair of pants.

I let out a grunt before storming off to the bathroom.

I may or may not still be a little flustered by what happened with Brittany earlier. It's all just so weird.

Brittany didn't really seem okay when we finally went to go get lunch, which is actually more of a dinner because it's really late in the afternoon now. I want to talk to her and ask if she is okay, but I don't know how. I've never actually cared about another person's problems before, aside from Quinn of course, so I don't really know what the rules are. Am I allowed to ask? Will she think I am prying? I only just met her today, it's not really my place.

I get to the bathroom and push the door open, heading straight for the paper towel dispenser and then to the sink. I give up after a few moments of trying to get the stain out. I set both of my hands on either side of the sink and take a few deep breaths to calm myself down.

"Santana?" is spoken softly through the door. I look over, of course, its Rachel.

"What," it comes out sharper than I intended, but I was hoping maybe someone else followed me in here.

"I thought this might help," she sits a cup down on the sink. I look into the cup and find some club soda in it. "I've made a lot of messes in my life," she looks down at the floor, finding her shoes more interesting than my reflection in the mirror.

"Gross. Rachel, I don't want to know what happens in the bedroom." Rachel snaps her head up and locks eyes with me in the mirror she giving me a death glare. "I'm just kidding." She narrows her eyes at me, like she is studying me or something. "Okay, I'm sorry."

This time her eyes widen. "You're what?"

"I will _not_ say it again, I almost choked the first time."

She looks at me quizzically for a moment. "Apology accepted," she finally says. "I too would like to apologize for staging a dramatic rendition of 'total eclipse of the heart' and knocking over your slushy."

"Apology accepted."

"I'm going to hug you n-"

"Berry, if you touch me, so help me god," I say while holding out my hand to block her.

She puts her hands up in defense, while backing away saying, "okay, okay. Too far."

When I get back to our table, the spot next to Brittany is open. I celebrate a little in my head before taking a seat next to her. She smiles at me before sliding over in the booth, giving me space to sit down.

"You all good?" Quinn asks over a bit of her food.

"Yep," I say with a smile.

Most of the lunch is just Quinn and Rachel talking about nothing. I say a few words every now and then, but mostly keep my focus on Brittany. She is staring down at her food, just sort of picking at it, not really eating anything. It makes my heart hurt because I know what's wrong.

At one point I lean over to Brittany and ask if she is doing okay. She assures me that she is, but I can tell by the look on her face that she isn't. It was a ridiculous question for me to ask, I know she's not okay, but I didn't know what else to say. I wanted to be able to comfort her, I just didn't know how. All I know is that I wish that she never had to feel sadness in this world. I know that's unrealistic, I just wish there was a way I could make it a little bit better or at the very least take away some of her pain.

/

About a week has passed since I met Brittany and I can't seem to get the girl off my mind. I wake up earlier than I normally do this morning. I couldn't really sleep last night. All I could think about was Brittany. I have only known this girl for _a week_ and already I can't get her off my mind. I only briefly saw her on Wednesday when I was getting back the movies I had lent to Rachel.

She seemed to be a little happier than she was before, but still a little off. It's weird because I don't really know her, but I just know that she is usually a happy person.

My mind kept replaying the almost kiss we shared, if you could even call it that.

What would have happened if Quinn didn't interrupt that night? I _wanted_ to kiss her. Did she want the same thing?

This is crazy.

She didn't want to kiss me.

She couldn't.

I would never get that lucky. I'm not even sure if I _really_ wanted to kiss her anyway. Of course I did. Who wouldn't? "This is insane," I say to myself. I need to get up before I over think this and my head explodes.

I get out of bed and make my way to the kitchen where Quinn is sitting, eating some pancakes. I see a stack on the counter. I smile to myself and go for the kill. They are chocolate chip. It's like a Sunday morning miracle.

"Sure Santana, eat my pancakes that I spent all morning making. No, I don't mind at all," Quinn greets me with a monotone voice.

"Like you could eat all of these by yourself," I bite back.

"How would you know? You are never up this early to see me eat breakfast. I could eat those and more for all you know." Quinn closes the book she is reading and gets up to put her plate in the sink. "Are you feeling okay Santana?" She asks as she puts a hand to my forehead.

"What?" I say and slap her hand away from my face. "Why?"

"Rachel told me Santana. She told me what you did last week, with Brittany."

What?! I knew Berry was sneaky, but I know I would have seen her or heard her if she was there. My eyes bug out of my head and my heartbeat picks up.

But wait…nothing happened. I wanted something to happen, but nothing did.

What does Rachel know? Did Brittany tell her? She probably thinks I am some kind of freak wanting to kiss her when I only just met her.

I relax a little and take a breath.

"What are you talking about?" I say as calmly as I can.

"You were nice. To Brittany." She says matter-of- factly, like the reason is the most obvious thing in the world.

_Ohthankgod_. I take a breath of relief. "Why the hell does that shock you guys so much?" I half yell. "You _told_ me to be nice to her, so I was."

"Since when do you listen to us?" Quinn huffs.

"I dunno, maybe I had some sort of awakening? Maybe the devil has finally fled from my soul?" I say while shaking my hands above my head. Quinn narrows her eyes at me. "Besides, she's cool…and pretty funny too."

"She made you laugh?" Quinn asks with a shocked expression. "Like she told you a joke and you laughed? You didn't make some sarcastic comment?"

I nod my head because what the fuck? Why are they acting like it's some kind of crazy ass miracle that I would be nice to someone? I mean, sure, I am a bitch to 99% of the people I meet, but come on.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask with a confused look.

I do laugh…sometimes…if people aren't complete idiots.

"It's just...wow." Quinn goes to pour herself another cup of coffee. "Brittany must be made of magic or something."

"Quinn stop being so weird," I say as I shove a fork full of pancake into my mouth.

"You're the one being weird," she mutters. "Anyway, Rachel and I were gonna go help Mercedes find some new furniture. Did you want to come with us?" she asks as she takes a sip of her coffee.

"Uh- I think I am going to stay in and get some homework done," I say. I would tell her the truth and say that I actually have plans to have a movie marathon with Brittany today, but I don't want her acting even weirder about me. And I don't want to talk about it right now especially since I don't really know what's going on in my head.

Quinn's expression goes blank and she picks up her phone.

"What ar yo doin?" I ask over a mouth full of pancakes.

"I am calling the police. Clearly someone has abducted my best friend and replaced her with someone who gets up early, does homework on the weekend, and is actually _nice_."

I get up and snatch the phone out of her hand. "Fabray, I will skin you alive if you don't stop making fun of me. I just have a lot to do this week and I want to get a head start," I shrug.

Quinn grabs her phone back. "Okay," is all she says before she walks out of the kitchen. "But I still think that some evil spirit is taking over your body," she calls from the living room.

"What? That doesn't make sense. If I was nicer, then why would it be an evil spirit?"

"Because any evil spirit is still nicer than you."

"Quinn!" I yell and throw a ball of paper that was lying on the counter at her head.

"I am only kidding Santana. You know I love you."

"Whatever," I mumble and head back into my room. This is another reason I don't get out of bed before Quinn leaves. She always picks on me, but I always pick on her so I guess we are even.

/

It's about twelve fifteen when I hear a soft knock on the door. Quinn left about a half hour ago and Rachel went with her. So, I can only assume that it's Brittany. She didn't really say what time she would be stopping by and I guess she got directions form Rachel.

I get up and walk toward the door. When I open it, Brittany is standing there with a large smile on her face and a box of pizza.

"Hey," she breathes. "I brought pizza!" she looks excited. I am so glad to see that she isn't sad anymore. I may be a little abrasive sometimes, but I hate to see people hurting.

"Hi," I say back. "What kind of pizza did you bring?"

It smells so good and I feel my stomach start to grumble at the smell.

"Pepperoni, is that okay?" she asks timidly.

"Pepperoni is perfect!" I say grabbing the box from her and setting it on the table. "You want something to drink? Soda? Water?"

"I'll take water. Thanks." she says while sitting down.

I walk over to the cupboard above the sink and grab two glasses and fill each of them with water.

"We have to watch the movies in my room. This TV doesn't play blue ray. It's pretty old." I grab two plates and hand one to Brittany.

We get our pizza and then head to my room. I didn't really think about there not being somewhere to sit other than my bed. I don't usually have people in my room, but I guess it's okay. We're just watching a movie.

Brittany sits down and scoots toward the top of the bed so she can rest against the back board. I walk to the other side and do the same thing. My bed is kind of small so, we are almost touching- shoulder to shoulder.

"I like your room," she says to me while taking a look around the room, "it's cozy."

I don't know why but that makes my heart flutter a little bit. All she did was compliment my room, but its seems that her opinion of it is the only one to ever matter. Quinn hates my room and so does Rachel. They think it's too dark. My walls are a dark shade of red and I have black sheets. I think it's relaxing. "It suites you," she adds.

"Thanks," I say back. The side of my mouth twitching into a slight smile. Maybe I am imagining things, but I think Brittany just called me cozy. No, she definitely did, or maybe she didn't, but I'm gonna say that she did.

"So, which one is the first one again?" Brittany asks while taking a bite of her pizza. She quickly pulls the pizza from her mouth and begins fanning her tongue. "Shit that's hot." Brittany reaches for her water and quickly takes a few gulps, finishing with a relieved sigh.

"The Curse of the Black Pearl," I answer.

"Mr. Krab's daughter is in this?" Brittany asks in a serious voice. I look at her in confusion, my eyebrows furrowing together. "I'm kidding, I know Mr. Krab's daughter isn't black. She's grey." Brittany playfully nudges my shoulder and we both laugh together.

"Sadly, I don't think Mr. Krab's daughter will be making an appearance, but there is that monkey." I grab the remote from my nightstand and press play.

"Very true," she adds.

The movie starts and we are comfortably sitting next to each other on my bed.

_On my bed. _

Brittany is on my bed.

My eyes slide over to her, she is wearing shorts. _Shorts. _In this weather and she is on my bed. My eyes follow the length of her legs to the bottom of her shorts, I feel my body heating up at the sight.

_Get it together Lopez, _I chastise myself. I awkwardly cough. Brittany turns her head to look at me. I'm sure my cheeks are red. She can see the shame of leering written all over my face. Even my dark complexion can't hide this. Oh god.

"You alright?" she asks her beautiful blue eyes staring right into the very depths of my soul.

"Uh- y-yeah. Yep. All good over here," smooth Santana, smooth. I grab my water and take a sip to cool my body down. Except that it goes down the wrong pipe and I shoot up in a fit of coughs.

Brittany sits up in the same instant. "Santana, you okay?" I try to answer, but nothing comes out, my hand just continues to pound on my chest as I try to regain my breathing. "Just try to calm down," her voice is soft and reassuring. Brittany started rubbing circles on my back at one point, when I get my breathing under control I notice it and my body tenses up a bit.

Brittany must realize I have stopped coughing a while ago and she is still rubbing my back because she awkwardly coughs and scoots back to her spot on the bed. Her cheeks are tinged pink.

I have to stop embarrassing myself around her.

About half way through the movie Brittany's head somehow lands on my shoulder.

Friends cuddle. I see Quinn and Rachel snuggle up to each other sometimes. I'm not complaining though. She smells nice, like summer, and her body is keeping me warm. I like it.

She stays like this for the rest of the movie.

I try to find it in me to care, but the only thing I can think about is how I wouldn't mind if she stayed like this forever. I almost kick myself for thinking that because what the hell? I barely know her. I want to know her more though. I feel drawn to her. Like I can't _help_ but think these things.

The end credits are playing, but she doesn't move and I don't really want her to either, so I just sit quietly until my butt starts to go numb. I notice that her breathing is really deep.

I think she fell asleep on me.

Before I do anything, I let myself look over her features while I can. She is so, so beautiful and she looks like an angel. I _really_ don't want to wake her up, but I_ really_ can't feel my butt either.

"Britt," I say as gently as I can. She stirs a little before slowly stretching out her body. I think she is about to go back to sleep when she moves again.

"Mmm," she mumbles moving her face into the crook of my neck. My heart rate picks up when I feel her skin against mine. It doesn't help that I can feel her hot breath hitting my neck either. "Did I fall asleep?" she asks and her voice sounds so scratchy. It's adorable…and a little sexy.

"Yeah," I say softly.

"I'm sorry," she sounds disappointed. "I have a hard time staying awake during movies." She still doesn't move though and I'm glad because I like this closeness. It's refreshing.

"It's alright," I say and one of my hands come up to rub her back. She lets out a content sigh, so I keep doing it. "We don't have to watch the others if you don't want. We can do something else?"

"No, no. I want to," she says as I keep rubbing her back. "I'll try my hardest to stay awake. I promise." Brittany wraps one of her arms around my waste from the back and now I _really_ don't want to get up and put the movie in because this just feels so good. I don't want to stop cuddling with her.

"Okay," I let out slight laugh and her head bobs slightly with the movement of my chest. "But I need to get up to put the other movie in."

"Right, sorry," she says and rises to a seated position.

I get up to put the movie in and then slink back to my spot on the bed.

To my surprise, Brittany returns to the spot she was in before, placing her head back on my shoulder. She wraps her arm around my waist again, but this time she rest the hand of her other arm on my stomach. My heart rate picks up again and my whole body heats up. I try really, _really_ hard to focus on the movie, but it's hard when she is this close. It's like she is short-circuiting my senses and making them come alive all at the same time.

To distract myself I bring my hand up to rub her back again, just so I have something to do. As soon as I do she snuggles closer to me. Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best idea to distract my mind from her because now she is closer. Her body is so warm against mine. It's too difficult to ignore, so I just let myself look over her body again and appreciate the way her skin looks so soft and the way that her ribs rise and fall with each breath.

"Keira Knightly is hot," Brittany's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Uh-y-yeah," I say because she is. I want to add 'you're hotter' but I don't because of obvious reasons. Anyone could see that.

Neither one of us say anything else for a while.

About twenty minutes into the movie Brittany speaks again. "You know, you are making it really hard to stay awake rubbing my back and all," she says and I take in a sharp breath and I stop moving my hand. Does she not like it? Does she want me to stop?

It sure seemed like she liked it. She didn't complain. Well, until now.

"Sorry," I remove my hand completely from her back.

"Don't be sorry," she says moving her head to rest on my chest. "It feels amazing. My eyes are just getting tired again. I don't want to be rude and fall asleep on you _again_." she says honestly.

I let out a breath of relief. "Britt, it's okay. You can sleep if you want to," I bring my hand back up to rub her back again. She sighs in content.

Brittany doesn't say anything else the rest of the movie, so I assume she fell back asleep. When the credits start to roll for the second time today, I hear a faint snore. I chuckle a little to myself. I pick up my phone that is sitting to the side of me to check the time. It's about 5:30.

I let out a yawn and pull Brittany a little closer to me. Her head is still resting on my chest, so I carefully slide down the bed until I am lying completely flat on my back. Brittany stirs a little in my arms, but she doesn't wake up. Instead she nuzzles closer and drapes one leg over the both of mine.

I close my eyes and sleep soon takes over.

/

I wake up to a buzzing sound.

I blink a few times in confusion and I feel something warm next to me. Then I remember that it's Brittany sleeping beside me and I can't help the smile that creeps across my face. I realize the buzzing is the vibration from my phone.

Quinn is calling me.

"Hello," I say in a soft voice so as not to disturb Brittany.

_"Hey Santana, Rachel and I were wondering if you wanted to come and get ice-cream with us?" _Quinn asks.

"Uh-sure. Let me ask Brittany if she wants to."

_"Oh, Brittany is with you? Rachel has been trying to get a hold of her all day."_

"Yeah, she came over to watch a movie with me. Hold on, okay? I have to wake her up. She fell asleep." I set the phone down on the other side of the bed. "Britt," I say while lightly shaking her. She lets out a soft hum, but doesn't move. "Brittany," I try again this time bringing my hand up to comb through her hair. Her eyes slowly open and she tilts her head up to look at me. Crystal clear blue eyes meet mine and I all but melt into a puddle on my bed. She is so beautiful that it hurts. She smiles at me sleepily. "Hey," I say in a soft voice.

"Hi" she says back just as soft. I just gaze into her eyes until I remember that Quinn is on the phone waiting for an answer.

"Oh, Quinn and Rachel want to know if we want to get ice-cream with them."

Brittany's eyes brighten almost immediately. "Ice-cream?" she asks and I nod. "Who could say no to ice cream?" I let out a giggle before reaching over to pick up the phone again.

"Yeah. We'll come," I say into the phone.

"_Cool. Met us at Dana's." _

"Alright. See ya." and I hang up the phone.

/

Brittany and I get to the ice cream shop in about half an hour. It is a twenty minute walk from my building. It took a half hour because we laid in bed for a few minutes after I got off the phone with Quinn before we actually got up and got out the door.

When we got there Rachel and Quinn were already sitting at a table and munching on their ice creams.

"Crap!" I hear Brittany call from behind me.

"What?" I say a little worried.

"I forgot my money," she says and looks down at her feet.

She looks a little ashamed. I internally laugh at her adorableness.

"That's okay," I say and try to raise her spirits. "I got it." I smile at her.

"No-no, I can't let you do that. I already fell asleep on you twice today and I can't have you pay for my dinner. I feel so bad. God, I'm so stupid. Why do I always forget the simplest things?" she's rambling and my smile only grows wider. She is so adorable.

"Woah-woah," I giggle. "First of all, you are _not_ stupid, so stop saying that. Second, it's totally not a big deal. It's just a few dollars. And I fell asleep too, so there." She smiles a timid smile at me before slowly nodding her head. "And third, ice cream is not dinner. You also brought pizza remember?"

"Okay," she says lowly. "But I'm gonna make this up to you. I swear I'm not always like this and I don't always fall asleep during movies like I did today. I mean, I do have trouble staying awake, but not all the time. I'm so sorry."

"Britt, seriously, it's okay."

I grab Brittany's arm and pull her towards the counter.

Brittany and I order our ice cream and take our seats next to Quinn and Rachel.

"Hey guys!" Rachel says in her nauseatingly happy voice. "Brittany, I have been trying to reach you all day."

"Yeah, sorry. I accidentally left my phone and purse at the apartment." Rachel nods her head up and down in understanding.

"So, Brittany, Rach was telling me about how you are going to school for photojournalism?" Quinn asks between bites of her cookie dough ice cream.

"Yep," Brittany nods happily.

"I thought you might be going to school for dance. You are really incredible."

"I love to dance. More than anything, but I can dance anywhere. I don't need it to be my job. Photojournalism is awesome though. I like it because everything has its own separate story. I could take a picture of you right now eating your ice cream, and in that moment that's your story, but another day, you could be just sitting around reading. Then _that _would be your story. Separately those pictures would be puzzle pieces into figuring out who you really are, but together they show the big picture." I could listen to her talk all day. Brittany could talk about a dog shitting on a lawn and I would listen.

"That's a really interesting take on things," Quinn replies a little intrigued. "Sure sounds like you love it."

"Well, yeah. I mean, I love getting to know people's stories." Brittany glances at me when she says this and my stomach flutters. In a good way. Not in a nervous or I'm getting sick way.

Happy.

"Sounds like the perfect fit for you then," Rachel says to Brittany.

"So, what about you guys? What are you all going to school for?" Brittany says as she is trying to lick up the ice cream that is dripping down her cone. My stomach flips at the sights and I find myself pinching my legs together underneath the table.

I scold myself because someone licking up ice cream off a cone should not be that sexy.

"Well, right now I perform at weddings." Rachel's tone is somewhat melancholy, "but someday I will be in the bright lights of a Broadway stage." At this her voice chippers up as she stares off into the distance.

Rachel loves to perform. She always has and I know for a fact that singing in those weddings is something that she really loves. Her heart is in chasing her Broadway dream though and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want her to make it. As much as I pretend to hate her, it's impossible not to admit that the girl has talent.

"I'm sure you will make it someday," Brittany says back. "What about you Quinn, what's your story?"

"Well," Quinn says slowly. "I actually want to be a teacher. Art, in particular. I love it." Quinn is looking down at the table but I cannot only see the smile in her eyes, but also hear it in her voice.

"Yeah, Quinn is really talented. She used to draw pornographic pictures of me in the bathroom stalls at school." Rachel smiles and tells that like she is proud to be one of Quinn's first art projects. She told me that it was so she could say she knew Quinn before she got famous and helped as her inspiration. Brittany stares at them with a weird expression on her face. Her mouth is slightly hanging open and her brows are furrowed together.

"We weren't exactly friends in high school," Rachel answers the unasked question.

"Okay," Brittany says slowly before turning in her seat towards me, "and you?" she asks quirking her head to the side.

"Yeah, Santana what _is_ your story this year?" Quinn leans back in her chair and raises her eye brows at me.

"Shut up Q." I bite.

I haven't really found my 'calling' yet. It's just really hard to pick one thing that you want to do with the rest of your life. In high school I thought I knew, but I realized that I was just doing it because I though that's what people wanted from me. I have changed my major three times now. I started with wanting to do something in the medical field, then I went to business, and now I am lost.

"I-I don't really know." Brittany must sense my hostility and gives me an apologetic look as to say sorry for asking.

It's not a sore subject for me or anything I just really don't know. I guess sometimes it's frustrating because everyone seems to know what they want to do and who they want to be. Maybe I do feel lost at times.

"You'll figure it out," Brittany says and gives me the warmest smile I have ever seen. It doesn't seem like she is just saying that to make me feel better. It's genuine and amazingly it does make me feel better.

I return her smile and mutter a "thanks."

"Okay, so you have to tell me how you all know each other because you seem too different to be friends. No offense or anything."

Me and Quinn both let out a laugh because Brittany's right. When we all first met we hated each other. I didn't even like Quinn when I first met her and she is my _best friend_. She just seemed to represent everything I hated. She was pretty, popular and bitchy. I kind of always kept to myself. That was until high school.

I had this idea in my head that I needed to be liked in order to be successful. I am almost certain that that is what caused me to be even more unhappy than if I didn't 'fit in' at all. Between the pressures of trying so hard to get everyone to 'like' you and always competing with Quinn for the top spot on the Cheerios, life was kind of miserable.

Once I got out of high school and into college I started to realize that for the past four years of my life, I was always trying to please other people. Now I am just trying to figure out what makes _me_ happy. I feel like somewhere in there I just kind of disappeared.

"None taken," Quinn laughs. "We all hated each other when we first met."

"Actually," Rachel chimes in, "I didn't hate you guys. _You_ hated me." Rachel puffs out her lower lip in reminiscence.

It's true though and even though I am mean to Rachel now, it was a lot worse in high school. Sometimes I feel bad for it… Sometimes.

"Whatever," Quinn says, "that's not the point. We all ended up joining glee club together. Well Santana and I," Quinn motions between us with her hand, "we were supposed to destroy it from the inside." When Brittany looks like she doesn't understand Quinn quickly adds. "Our cheer coach was a bit crazy. Anyway, me and Santana actually ended up enjoying glee club a lot."

"So all three of you can sing?" Brittany asks.

"Yep," I say to her. "Crazy huh?" Brittany nods her head.

"You should really hear this one sing," Quinn says and slings an arm around my shoulder to pull me into her side. "She has one of the most unique voices I have ever heard."

"Though you could benefit from some pitch and breath control lessons, I would have to agree with Quinn. Santana, you have an amazing voice." Rachel has only ever complemented me on my singing once before and that was only because Mr. Schuster made her.

Brittany turns to me with her eyebrows raised, "I guess you will have to sing for me sometime"

"Good luck with that," Quinn mutters and looks at me with a semi pained expression.

My face falls from a smile too anxious in less than a second. "It's a long story," is all I say in return to Brittany. We don't really talk about the last time I performed. Quinn and Rachel _know_ that I don't like to talk about it.

/

Quinn and I get back to the apartment and I toss my keys in the basket by the door. I sit down at the kitchen table and let out a loud sigh. Quinn sits down across from me.

"Santana are you alrig-"

"I'm fine Q." I snap cutting her off. I take another deep breath before I speak again, "I'm sorry. I'm okay. Just memories."

Quinn nods in understanding. "Okay, but I want you to know that if you ever need to talk about it-"

"Quinn please," my voice shakes a little. "I can't." I can feel the tears forming behind my eyes.

Quinn must see the tears starting because she makes her way over to me and wraps me up in a tight hug.

"Right, I'm sorry. I just wanted you to know that I'm here to listen if you ever need it, okay?"

I sniffle a little because when someone hugs you when you are crying or about to cry, it's comforting, but it also makes you want to let go and cry harder.

"Thanks Q," I mumble into her shoulder.

"I am surprised Brittany still has her head. Usually you would tear someone to pieces if they asked you about that." I let out a stiffed laugh. I probably would have blown up if it was anyone besides Brittany.

"She doesn't know," I speak into her shoulder again then I move back so I can look at Quinn. "…and _you_ brought it up. Brittany is a really great person. There is just something about her. I don't know what it is, but I don't think I could be mean to her if I wanted to." That's a little more information than I intended to share, but its Quinn. She's gets stuff out of me somehow.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Quinn breathes. "Rachel and I were talking about how sweet she was." She pauses for a moment before adding, "So you like her then?"

My eyes widen for a moment before I realize that she probably means as a friend. "Yeah," I say. "She's cool."

Quinn smiles and says, "Good. Now we can officially welcome her into our circle of friends." She pats me on the head and stands up, "You busy Friday night?" Quinn asks getting out a glass and turning on the faucet to get a glass of water.

"No," I reply.

"Good cause all four of us are going to The Zone. It was Rachel's idea, but she wanted to make sure it was cool with you first."

"Oh she did, did she? Well, sure, why not." I try to contain my eagerness because the idea of a night out at a club with Brittany is more than exciting.

"Awesome," she downs the glass of water and strides into the living room to sit down on the couch. I follow her and take a seat on the other end. I let my eyes wander around the room for a moment. I really need to get more involved with the decorating. There are random splotches of paint hanging up everywhere because Quinn insists that its "art".

"Mercedes asked about you today."

Quinn draws me back into the moment, "hmm," is my reply. Then I realized it was Mercedes she was talking about. "What she say?"

Quinn smirks a little, "just asked if you were being lazy and decided not to join us today."

"I wish she didn't have to move," I say a little saddened. "She was my home girl," I sigh.

"Hello, your best friend is sitting right here."

"Yes, and you are my best friend. The most amazing friend actually, but Mercedes, she was my Lima Heights Adjacent neighbor. We sold lemonade together. You just can't force that type of bond Quinn."

"Yeah, yeah," Quinn grumbles while she stretches her legs out so they are resting on the coffee table. She closes her eyes and we both sit in silence for a while.

My eyes are starting to get really heavy. It's not even that late, but I didn't sleep well the night before and that short nap earlier did more harm than good. I let out an over-dramatic yawn, stretching my body out before hopping up off the couch.

"Goodnight Quinny the pooh," I joke while walking past Quinn she just grunts in response.

When I get into my bedroom, I quickly change into my pajamas and crawl into my nice warm bed. When my face hits the pillow, I am out almost immediately. Of course the last person to run through my mind is the same one who was in my thoughts when I first woke up this morning and I have a feeling that's not going to change anytime soon.

* * *

**:) :) and one more for luck :)**


	3. Chapter 3

"Santana, Dammit!" I hear called from the bathroom. "Why do you always leave the curling iron on? Fuck! Get me some ice," Quinn's voice rings through the apartment and she sounds pretty pissed.

I roll my eyes, but get off the couch and walk to the fridge to grab a chunk of ice to put into a plastic bag. "Shit Quinn, what did you do?" I walk into the bathroom and see that her whole left hand is red.

"_I_ didn't do anything. _You _left the curling iron on," she grumbles and snatches the ice from my hand. Quinn lets out a loud hiss as she places it on her hand.

"But how the hell did you do that?"

"It was falling, so I reached down to catch it and I burnt my fucking hand and it hurts," she says through gritted teeth.

"I wasn't finished with it yet, that's why it's still on," Quinn looks up to my face and notices that only half of my hair is actually curled. I have only left the curling iron on a couple of times, but each time Quinn somehow manages to burn herself. This time definitely takes the cake though.

"I don't have time to argue, Santana. I have to get to class," she brushes past me and out of the bathroom. I shrug my shoulders. I wasn't trying to argue with her. I guess if the roles were reversed I would be pissed too.

"See you later," I call to Quinn as she is walking out the door.

I only have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and its Wednesday, so I don't really have anything to do today. I am ahead in both of my online classes too, so I decided yesterday that I would just lounge around all day. My Tuesdays and Thursdays are really long though. My first class is at 8 o'clock and I don't get home till after 5.

I have a couple of hours in the middle of the day for lunch that I usually spend in the library doing homework because what else am I supposed to do? That's okay though, I would rather be doing homework at school than on my days off.

I am sitting on the couch watching a show about people who get locked up in foreign countries because nothing else is on at 10 in the morning. Right now, some guys is stuck in prison because someone planted drugs in his bag and police found it when he went through airport security.

Suddenly I feel my phone vibrate on the coffee table. The sound echoes across the room. I look down at the screen to see who could be calling me. It's my father.

I let out a loud sigh because I haven't spoken to my father in a couple of months. I didn't intentionally stop talking to him, I just got really busy. Apparently he is really busy too, with my sister and everything.

I answer the call with a little hesitation in my voice. "Hello?" I breathe.

"_Hey honey,_" my dad's voice sounds weak and worn-out coming from the other line.

"Hi dad," I say.

"_I was just calling to see how you were. I haven't seen you in so long. How have you been?"_

"I'm doing alright," I say into the phone. It's actually really good to hear his voice again. I have been wanting to call him for some time now. I just have never found the opportunity, or rather, made excuses when the opportunity came up. "H-how are _you_?" I ask hesitantly.

"_Oh you know, your sister is keeping me busy. That girl thinks she needs to be a part of every after school activity._" He laughs into the phone. My little sister, Maya, has been trying to busy herself with anything and everything. Ever since my mother's death we all have been. It happened nearly four years ago, but it doesn't hurt any less.

I let out a small laugh to show that I heard him.

"_We miss you here Santana_," he whispers into the phone.

"I know dad. I'm sorry," my voice shakes a little and I am finding it harder to control the tears that are threatening to fall from my eyes. "I'll come to visit soon," is all I say to that. I haven't seen my dad in almost a year. I feel really terrible about it, but every time I come home, I am reminded of my mother. It's just too painful. I still feel like everyone blames me for what happened. And no matter how many times people tell me that it wasn't my fault, I will always see the doubt that is veiled in their eyes.

For the weeks after it happened leading up to when I left for college, my father didn't look at me the same. We were pretty close before, we all were, but after that day, he just stopped. He stopped talking. He wouldn't look me in the eye. He couldn't, I suppose.

What made it even worse was the fact that he didn't treat my sister any differently. I know he didn't mean to, but it still hurt.

"Dad?" I breathe, "I love you. I really am sorry."

I hear a sniffle on the other end and I feel the warm trail of a tear fall down my cheek, "_I know sweetheart. I love you too,_" and then he hangs the phone up. My dad has never been one to show emotions, so him hanging up abruptly doesn't really surprise me. We are alike in that manner.

I let the phone drop down into my lap and then cradle my head in my hands. The tears start flowing now. I haven't let myself cry over this in such a long time. Sometimes my mind wonders to thoughts about my mother. She was such a wonderful person, not at all like me. Those days are hard because I think I'll just wake up and she will still be here. I can pick up the phone and her voice will be on the other line. As much as I wish for it to happen, it never does. That's the hardest part, just knowing I will never be able to see her again.

I thought I was moving on, not forgetting, just moving on, but one phone call can change everything. I just miss my mom so much. I miss my father too and my sister. I miss everyone, but the longer you stay away, the harder it gets to go back.

It's hard on my dad, I know it is. They were so in love. It was the kind of love you read about. I can only hope I never have to have my soul mate taken from me or anyone, no one should know that kind of pain.

I hear a knock on the door. It startles me a little because who could it be? Quinn and Rachel have class today and no one else would just drop by. I hesitantly get up and makes my way to the door. I stop by the mirror to make sure that my eyes look alright. They're still a little red.

I open the door with a scowl on my face, but it immediately softens.

"Brittany? W-what are you doing here?" My voice sounds a little weak from crying.

"Hey," she smiles. "Rachel told me you didn't have class today. I don't either, Wednesdays and Fridays are my days off. I thought maybe I could keep you company," I give her a soft smile and open the door wider so she can step in. "Are you alright?" she asks.

I guess she must have noticed the red in my eyes, "Yeah," I say whipping my eyes. "Just some family stuff."

"Oh, parents on your cause about something? Mine get that way too, don't let it get to you parents are crazy."

"Uh-no, it's not that," I debate in my head whether or not I should tell her about my mom. She is going to find out sooner or later. I might as well tell her now, "But it would only be parent, my mother died about four years ago," I say and I can feel my vision blurring with the fresh tears forming. I look down to the floor to try to cover it up.

Brittany's face softens and her eyes turn sympathetic, "Santana, I'm sorry I-"

"No, don't be sorry, you didn't do anything," I cut her off, "it's just- I just got off the phone with my dad. I haven't spoken to him much since it happened." I look down at the floor again to try and hide my tears.

"Do you want me to leave?" she looks a little embarrassed. Like she doesn't know what to say or do. She starts to walk back toward the door when I don't say anything, but I quickly grab her wrist.

"Please stay," I whisper as if I can't believe it myself that I am asking her to. I would normally want to just be alone. I hate it when people see me cry. "We can watch the third movie if you want?"

Brittany nods her head.

We go into my bedroom and as soon as we get in there I am wrapped up in a hug. I am a little taken off guard, but I eventually feel myself leaning into her embrace. I actually hate hugs, I hate when people get too close to me, especially people I don't know that well. Quinn gets away with it because she is my best friend. Rachel sneak attacks me and then backs off quick enough, so I don't have time to smack her down, but when Brittany's arms wrap around my back and gently squeeze, my body immediately relaxes. It feels so good that I can't help but sigh into her neck.

Brittany pulls back and smiles at me, "you looked like you needed a hug," she says simply.

I give her a weak smile in return.

Brittany goes to sit on the bed and I put the movie in. When I turn around she is sitting in the middle of the bed. Her mouth stretches into a grin and she says, "it's your turn to be cuddled today," and she pats on her stomach to show me where to lay down.

I crawl onto the bed and lay my head down on her belly. It's hard, yet soft and so warm. Brittany immediately brings her hand up and starts combing through my hair and massaging my scalp. I feel my eyes flutter shut at the sensation.

/

"Santana?" Brittany whispers softly about halfway through the movie.

"Mhm?" Brittany is still playing with my hair and my eyes are getting heavy.

"I gotta pee," she whispers again.

I giggle then sit up. I look at her face that is scrunched up in pain, probably because she has been holding in her pee for too long. She is so adorable. "You are so adorable," I say and my cheeks flush because I only meant to think it.

"Well, I'm not going to be adorable when I pee all over your bed." Brittany gets up and sprints to the bathroom and I just shake my head and laugh.

She comes back moments later with a peculiar look on her face. Brittany's hands are hidden behind her back as she stands in the doorway with a little smirk.

"What?" I say growing a little nervous under her gaze.

Her smirk only grows. "You know what I hate?" Brittany asks creeping toward the bed.

"What?" I ask.

"I hate when you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom and then your fingers get really cold because the water is freezing and you can't figure out which way to turn the handle to make it not cold." she spits it out so fast that I can barely tell what she said.

"Alright, but why are you looking at me like that-"

Brittany jumps onto the mattress and immediately starts tickling my stomach under my shirt. My body is shocked at how cold her hands are and I am momentarily stunned. "Shit!" I cry, "that's fucking cold." I am squirming around and trying to throw her off me, but she somehow managed to pin me down to the mattress.

I can't help the bubble of laughter that escapes my throat, mostly because she is freaking tickling me, but also because who does that!?

After about a minute of struggle I plead for my life, "Br-Brit-Brittany please, I can't- breathe!" Finally Brittany rolls off of me curling over in laughter herself.

"What the hell?" I say to her, but I'm not mad. In fact I am still smiling like an idiot.

She turns to face me, "there's that smile," she says poking my cheeks. We're both breathing heavily. Brittany's thumb brushes across the skin of my cheek ."You should never not smile," she adds moments later when our breathing has evened out.

I shake my head at her, but my smile doesn't fade. I clear my throat to ease some of the awkward tension that has seemingly seeped into the room. Not that its uncomfortable, it's just that I don't really know what I am supposed to do. I settle for patting Brittany's shoulder and saying, "come on, let's finish this movie. Weirdo."

Brittany sticks out her tongue at me before she lays down again on her back. She lifts up her arm and this time I lay my head down over her chest. Her heart beat is calming and Brittany starts to draw lazy circles at the base of my shoulder with her fingers.

I snuggle a little closer and that's how we spend the rest of the movie. My head resting on her chest and her fingers caressing my arm. I'm so glad Brittany decided to come over because I would probably still be laying on the couch throwing myself a pity party.

/

"These movies are so long," Brittany says while stretching out her body.

I nod my head in agreement "At least you stayed awake the whole movie this time."

"That's because I took an energy shot before my session with Sugar this morning, which wasn't such a good idea because I couldn't stop bouncing around. So, I'll never do _that _again."

I let out a laugh, "You worked this morning?"

"Mhm," I feel the vibration of Brittany's answer through her stomach. "Sugar likes to work out super early, like at five in the morning, she pays me extra on those days, so it's totally cool with me. "

Brittany brings a hand up to comb through my hair, "there isn't enough money in the world to make me get up that early and exercise." I hear Brittan's stomach grumble from underneath me. "You want some lunch?" I sit up and cross my legs while I turn to face her.

"Yes, please," she says enthusiastically. "I haven't eaten anything all day," she grabs her stomach.

"Why not?" I ask her.

"Well, I haven't had time to buy any food yet this week. Although now that I think about it I_ could_ be at the store right now instead of with you, but what fun would that be?" Her face turns up into a sly smile and I can't help but return it. It's seems that every time she smiles at me, I am forced to smile along with her. "I'll just go Friday morning."

"I'm sure Rachel would let you eat some of her stuff."

"She told me I could, but it's all weird food. Way too complicated for me to make. I'm not a very good cook."

"Well, what are you in the mood for? Quinn and I aren't as complicated with our food as Rachel is, so I'm sure we have something you would like."

Brittany raises a finger to tap at her chin while she is thinking, "um..." she draws out, "Oh, do you have macaroni? Mac and Cheese is my kryptonite."

I let out a giggle. "Always," I say.

/

"Can you get the milk and butter out of the fridge?" I ask while I am stirring the noodles.

Brittany gets up and walks over to the refrigerator. She sets the items down on the counter by the sink and then comes to stand next to me, with her butt leaning against the counter. "So, why did you guys hate each other in high school?" Brittany asks looking up at the ceiling.

I shrug my shoulder because really there wasn't a reason. Just stupid high school crap, "I don't really know. Quinn and I were always competing against each other for the top spot on the Cheerios. Rachel was just Rachel and I was a conceded high school girl. Rachel had the talent and the drive I always wanted, she really is a star."

"Well, from what she tells me, you are too," Brittany looks over at me and I look into her eyes and see nothing but sincerity. I want to scream and yell that I'm not, but I just get lost in her honesty.

I clear my throat before I speak again, "even if I was, that was then. I don't sing anymore, at least not in front of people because, of course I sing. Everyone does."

"Does that mean I get to hear you sing?" she asks and her eyes light up and she nudges me with her hip.

"Maybe someday," I say and give her a playful wink.

She smirks, "fair enough."

"What about you? What was your high school life like?"

Brittany sighs, "Boring," she states.

"I find that hard to believe, you must have been popular, right?"

"Actually I was really, _really _shy in school. I always kept to myself. People thought something was wrong with me. They thought I was too dumb to function or something." Brittany looks to the ground and I can tell she doesn't really like to talk about that part of her life.

"I think you're awesome," I bump her with my hip, "but you don't seem shy now."

"That's because after high school I just said 'screw it, I'm gonna be who I am' but being shy had its benefits. I got to notice things about people that most others don't. Like watching and listening instead of engaging helps you learn about people. I mean, talking to people lets you get to know people too, but watching them and noticing the things they don't necessarily want you to, that's what I love. It's part of the reason I am interested in photojournalism."

"So, you know about people? What do you think about me?" I tilt my head to the side, wanting to see what she will come up with.

"I know that you are somewhat of a quiet person. Not shy like I was, but reserved. Almost like you are protecting yourself. Um," she taps her chin with her finger again with that adorable face of hers, "um, you like to pretend you don't care about Rachel, but I know you do." She pokes her finger in my cheek. "And you are really strong. If I hadn't come over when I did, I would never realize something was bothering you," she says more seriously.

"Hmm," I say in shock. That was scary accurate. I would have thought she would get the impression that I hate Rachel, everyone else does, but then again, Brittany isn't everyone else.

"I may not know a lot of things, but I know people, " she says simply with a shrug of shoulders.

Just then the oven beeps signaling that the noodles are ready. I take the pot over to the sink and pour them into the strainer. I give it a few shakes and pour the noodles back into the bowl.

Brittany grabs the carton of milk and holds it over the pan, "how creamy do you want it?" she asks.

"Wanky," I smile.

"What does that even mean?" she laughs.

"Wanky?"

"Yeah, you said it before too."

"I can't just tell you confidential information like that," I say and drop the spoon into the bowl, setting my hands on my hips.

Brittany looks at me with raised eyebrows, "and here I thought we had a special bond," she says with a shake of her head. "if I guess will you tell me?"

"Of course," I smile.

Brittany crosses her arms in front of her chest and stares up to the ceeling for a few moments, "Okay, how creamy do you want it?" I laugh at her serious face, she looks really deep in thought. "is it like, 'that's what she said?'" she finally says after about three minutes.

"Damn, you know the secret now." Brittany does a little victory dance in the middle of the kitchen. She collects herself, by smoothing over her t-shirt and walks back over to the counter. Brittany grabs the carton of milk and pours it in and waits for me to tell her when to stop. I add the butter and mix it all together.

"Rachel says you guys are from Lima, Ohio?" Brittany asks over a spoonful of macaroni.

"Yeah, that little ass town. I hated that place." I say back.

"I know what you mean, I'm from Lima too," she smiles at me.

I drop the noodles that were on my spoon back into the bowl. "You're kidding," I say.

"Nope. Born and raised." She winks at me.

"Don't tell me you went to McKinley too because that- that's just weird."

"No, I was actually home schooled," she says, "why would that be weird though?"

"It's- I mean, meeting you here. Getting this feeling like I have known you for years rather than days. Maybe we have seen each other before, like at the supermarket or something." Brittany just smiles at me. "So, you were home schooled your whole life?"

"Well, not exactly. I asked to be home schooled during high school because the teasing got so bad. People just don't understand quiet people. They automatically think something is wrong with them."

"I'm sorry," I reply. "I feel like we would have been best friends if we knew each other then."

"But you hated everyone," she says and shakes her head.

"I could never hate _you_ though." I raise my eyes from the table and find Brittany's staring back, "I know we would have been friends." We hold eye contact for a few moments, and I can see the corners of her mouth turning up into a smile. It's so beautiful, _she's_ so beautiful. How could anyone ever pick on her? She is perfect. I just don't understand.

As I echo the words in my mind, I realize the truth behind them.

/

"I just don't get this shit!" I say and throw my pencil down in my notebook.

"What don't you get about it Santana, it's just memorization," Brian says.

"No, it's stupid. All the little things that make up big things, and cells that have sex with themselves and my brain fucking hurts." We have been trying, or _I_ have been trying, to learn the anatomy of a cell for about two hours now, "so many little pointless things to know!"

"We could take a break if you want?" he smirks at me. I hate that smirk because I know what it means, but I can't exactly play innocent here. I let him get a little handsy at a party a couple of months ago and one or two times before that. All those times I had been drinking and we were dancing. The next thing I know is that he has his tongue down my throat.

"Our test is tomorrow," I reply. "I need to know this crap," I say trying to ignore his silent pleads for making out again.

"Santana, come on," Brian scoots closer to me and my heart rate picks up, but not in the good way. Not the way Brittany makes my heart race just by saying something funny or by touching my shoulder. He makes my heart race in the 'oh crap' way. Or the kind of way it beats when you know something you don't like is about to happen. "You just need to relax a little." Brian reaches up to brush a strand of hair behind my ear. I am too caught off guard to say or do anything. I sense his face inching closer to mine. I can feel his hot breath mixing with my own.

Right then my phone goes off. Thank God!

Brian isn't a bad guy and I really do like him, just not like that. He's not exactly my type. Come to think of it, I don't really know if I have a 'type'. My mind say 'yeah you do. Blond hair, blue eyes and the sexiest and most adorable human you have ever seen,' but I quickly brush that thought away when I look down and see that Quinn is calling me. Brain sits back, a look of disappointment stretched across his face.

"Quinn," I breathe into the phone.

"_Santana, thank God!_" she says into the phone she sounds irritated.

"Quinn, what are you doing? Are you okay?" I say and stand up, wanting more than anything to get away from Brian right now.

"_What? No, I'm fine. I need you to come with me to Rachel's. She needs our help with something and I am _not_ doing this alone._"

"What you're in the hospital? Oh no, Quinn don't die, I'll be right there. Stay strong." I say ignoring Quinn's confusion on the other line and then hang up the phone. "Quinn needs me. I gotta go." I quickly grab my things and rush out the door.

/

"Really Rachel?" I ask as I am sitting on the couch staring at the sight in front of me. "I mean really? You wanted us to come over here for _this_?" I ask and motion my hands at her looking her up and down.

"Santana, please. This is really important." She insists, smoothing her hands down the front of her outfit.

"How is you dressed up looking like Raggedy Ann important? Rachel, you look like something out of a homeless ad." I hear Quinn and Brittany let out a chuckle from next to me.

"Really?!" Rachel says with the biggest smile. Which shouldn't be there because I am pretty sure I just insulted her. "Yes! That's exactly what I wanted to hear."

"You are going to an audition looking like that?" Brittany asks confused.

"Yeah," Quinn says in agreement, "Rachel what is this?"

"I will have you guys know, that I have an audition for a play. It's set in the 1930s. It's about the great depression!" Rachel exclaims excitedly clasping her hands together in front of her body.

"Well, congratulations, you look the part," I feign excitement for her, "but can we go now I have a lot of studying to do?" I say remembering about the test tomorrow, but also remembering that I don't know anything about the information. Stupid mitosis and meiosis crap.

"Oo, what class?" Brittany asks from beside me.

"Biology," I groan. "I hate biology."

"I could help you. I-I mean if you want? I am in Biology right now too. I actually tried to avoid taking it for as long as I could, but it's required, so-"

"Yeah, I actually have my flash cards here." I turn to Quinn, "are you staying?"

"No, I have some stuff I have to finish too," Quinn stands up and grabs her purse off the chair and turns to face Rachel, "Rachel this was...fun. I'll see you guys later."

/

"I can believe Rachel interrupted my study date with Brain for that?" I say in bafflement. I know Rachel is dramatic, so this really shouldn't be a surprise to me and I should actually be thanking her for saving me from an extremely awkward moment.

"Date?" Brittany raises her eyebrows at me.

"No- it's not like that. Brian is just a friend." I see something flash across Brittany's face.

Relief?

Maybe.

"So, do you have a boyfriend?" she asks carefully almost like she is afraid of what the answer will be.

"No," I say, "You?" and suddenly it's my turn to be anxious of an answer. Do I want her to say no? Yes, yes I do dammit.

"Well," she starts and swallows. It seems to echo throughout the room, "there _was_ someone." Was. Was is good. Right? "His name was Quackers but _apparently_, I can't date a duck, so-" she says this and my eyes bug out of my head.

"What?" I laugh.

"I'm kidding," she smiles at me. "I don't have a boyfriend. Never have," she shrugs her shoulder like it's that simple and I suppose that she's right. Why date someone if you don't like them? "So, you don't like this Brian guy?"

"Well, I like him. He is my friend. I just don't _like_ him." Brittany nods her head up and down in understanding and a smile begins to form on her lips, "What?" I say. She just shakes her head as if to say nothing. "Come on," I beg.

Brittany looks down to her lap where she is fiddling with her fingers.

"You-" she takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, shaking her head in the process, "You're just so beautiful. I thought you would have a boyfriend.. or _something_," her cheeks are growing a deep shade of red. I feel mine growing red too.

"You're not so bad yourself." I wink and her cheeks get even darker. "No, but seriously, I don't think I have ever seen anyone as beautiful as you." I say it before I can stop myself, but it just come out. It's so easy. Probably because it's so true. Brittany's eyes snap up to mine. They are so clear. Deep, deep blue. Like I could jump into them if I wanted and get lost.

I don't know what it is about her, but I don't think I ever want to know what it is _without_ her ever again.

Something passes over us, that I can't quite name.

"I'm supposed to be helping you study," Brittany finally says. "You're gonna fail because of me," she laughs.

"Right," I say and the moments gone.

/

About an hour later and Brittany and I have been through the flash cards about five times. Which is a lot, considering that there are about one hundred cards.

"Fuck," I drop my head into my hands, "I am never going to get this."

"Hey, come on, look at the piles, the ones you know are growing," she tries to cheer me up.

"I hate this stuff," I whine and drop my head to her shoulder. We have been sitting side by side on her bed with our legs stretched out in front of us, "don't make me study anymore," I beg and puff out my lower lip. "Please."

"I'm not making you do anything," she giggles. "You're the one who said you needed to study," she starts poking my sides.

"Hey!" I laugh trying to twist away. She stops immediately this time, instead of when she almost killed me the other day. We sit in silence for a few moments with my head resting on her shoulder. "What time is it?" I yawn.

Brittany picks up her phone which was laying somewhere on the bed, "it's 10:30," and this time she yawns.

"Crap, I should probably get back."

I start to gather my things together when I feel a hand rest on my back, "or you can stay here, if you want?" She almost whispers.

In a bed?

All night?

With Brittany?

Should be no problem. Just the most gorgeous girl sleeping within touching distance from me. I got this. No big deal.

"Um, o-okay," I stutter out.

/

I return from the bathroom after changing into the pair of sweat pants and t-shirt Brittany let me borrow. Both of which are too big on me. Her legs are a lot longer than mine so the ends of the sweat pants are hanging over my feet. When I got into the bathroom I couldn't help but bring the shirt she gave me up to my nose to smell. It smelled just like her and I found myself relaxing into the scent. _Her_ scent.

Brittany is already lying in bed. I hesitate by the bedroom door because I don't really know where to go. Do I just _crawl into bed with her_?

"It's okay Santana," she smirks. "I won't bite. Promise." she pats down on the space next to her in the bed.

"I know that," I laugh. I walk over to the bed and crawl into it.

We are laying face to face, on our separate sides of the bed. Brittany has one arm tucked underneath her pillow, I do the same thing and cradle my head with my arm.

"Hey, I uh- I never thanked you for the other day." I tell her. "I was kind of a mess before you came over, but you made me feel better."

Brittany's eyes scan my face, "well," she starts, "you did the same for me when I needed you, so it was only fair."

As soon as I get settled into the bed, Brittany reaches over me. My body freezes and her chest is hanging right over my face. The room suddenly goes dark and I quickly realize that she was turning off the light.

_What is wrong with me? _I am going crazy.

"You okay?" I hear whispered from beside me.

My arms are tucked closely to my chest. I didn't even realize that I hadn't moved yet. She didn't even do anything, but having her body that close, _her chest_, that close to me, definitely did something to me.

"Y-yeah," I say, "just a little cold."

That works right? People freeze when they're cold, right?

"Turn on your side," she says, "with your back to me." I reposition myself onto my side and when I do, I feel her arms wrap around my body. I let out a shaky breath, but feel myself nuzzle back into her embrace. "Better?" she asks and I can feel her hot breath tickle my neck.

Her body is so warm and soft, "mhm" I mumble. It has been so long since anyone has been this close to me, but from what I remember, it never felt as good as it does right now.

I can smell Brittany's shampoo on the pillow under my head. I can feel the warmth that radiates from her body and the breath that escapes her lips hitting my neck in even patterns. I can also feel her heart beating against my back. Steady and strong. I feel so safe right here, with her.

A girl could get used to this.

"Goodnight Santana," I hear from behind me.

"g'night," I mumble and my body relaxes into sleep.

/

I wake up and the first thing I notice is a hand draped across my face. "What the?" I move the hand and find it connects to a long, pale arm, and a disheveled blond who is sprawled across the mattress with her face shoved into a pillow and her mouth hanging open. I can hear the deep breaths she is taking. Blond hair is everywhere. I sit up to look at the clock on the bedside table and I see that it's 6:30. I have class at eight.

"Britt," I say gently shaking her shoulder before sitting up in the bed.

She mumbles something that I can't understand, before rolling toward me and grabbing a fistful of the shirt I'm wearing and burrowing her face in my stomach.

"You smell so good," her voice is muffled because her face is still buried.

"Britt, I have to get back to my place and get ready for class." I run my fingers through her hair and she sighs in contentment.

"Give me a few minutes," she mumbles. So I do. I keep running my fingers through her hair for about five more minutes and just when I think she went back to sleep she speaks, "you can eat here," and pops up out of the bed like she wasn't a zombie just moments before. "Come on," she says hopping out of bed, "I'll share my fruit loops with you."

"Really, you would share your Fruit Loops with me?" I bring my hand up to my heart.

"_Only_ with you," she retorts. We both smile.

/

"So, how did it go?" Quinn asks as I enter the apartment.

"I hate my life," I say and slump down onto the couch.

"Not good, huh?" she laughs. I give her a glare and she shoots her hands up defensively. "Sorry," Quinn says, "Did you stay the night at Brittany's?"

"Yeah, it was late when we finished studying, so she asked if I just wanted to stay over."

Quinn nods her head in understanding and smirks a little. After a few moments she speaks again. "So how did it go with Brian yesterday?" she says, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"How did _what_ go?" I ask a little annoyed. I was trying to forget the almost kiss that happened between us last night. I woke up in such a good mood next to Brittany, that I almost completely forgot about that.

"Did you guys do anything?" she asks.

"Yeah, we studied," I snap at her.

"Whoa, okay. Geeze I was only joking with you." She raises her hands defensively.

I take a breath to calm myself down. I'm not mad at Quinn. I just want to tell her, or somebody, the real reason I don't like Brian like that, or any guy for that matter. "I know Q, it's just been a rough few days. With the test and Brian and my dad. I just-"

"Wait, what about your dad?" Oh right, I haven't told Quinn about the phone call yet.

"He uh- he called me the other day." I say nervously.

"and..."

"I told him I would visit."

"So you lied to him, again?" she asks, but it's not really a question.

"I want to go back. You know I do. It's just hard." We have had this talk a lot. Quinn always wants to drag me back to Lima with her, but I always come up with some excuse not to.

"Santana, you need to see them."

"No, I know, I just- the way he looks at me. It- it's too much."

"He misses you, and you do look a lot like her. It's hard for him too." Quinn's voice is really soft, she knows how hard this is for me. I nod my head.

"Yeah," I breathe. "I really do want to go back though. I miss my sister and I have been telling her that I would go to one of her games, you know, for whatever sport she is playing at the moment."

"That's good," Quinn gets up from where she was sitting and walks over to me. She puts both hands on my shoulders and looks me square in the eyes, "Just remember. They are your family, you should be lucky that they still want you in their lives."

My heart twists a little at that because Quinn's parents never accepted her back into the family after she got pregnant in high school. She kind of lost everything: her parents and her daughter. I really look up to Quinn. She got her life together and she doesn't let anything bring her down.

I pull her into a hug, "thanks Q."

Quinn nods at me before going to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

"Hey," I call out, "did you know that Brittany is from Lima too?"

"Yep," she smiles.

"Don't you think that's a little bizarre." I ask.

"Nope," she continues smiling.

"I feel like I know her from somewhere. Like maybe we've met before?" I stop talking and look back at Quinn. "Why are you smiling like that?" I give her a weird look. She looks like she is up to something. Its scaring me. She doesn't answer me, she just continues to pick at her snack bar. I narrow my eyes at her, but ultimately brush it off. I really wish I could read Quinn better.

* * *

Thanks for reading :)


	4. Chapter 4

So, tonight we are going out to a club to, as Quinn put it, welcome Brittany into our circle of friends. We all were supposed to go last Friday, but Quinn decided it would be more fun if she stayed and worked on her art project instead. She has been working on this project all semester. I think Rachel had something going on too. The point is, we didn't go, but tonight we are and I am a little nervous about it, which is why I have been preparing myself for the better part of an hour, mentally and physically, for this night.

"Come on Santana!" Quinn bangs on the bathroom door. "We're gonna be late."

I drop the tube of eye liner I was holding in the sink and let out a loud groan. "Relax, Fabray! You can't be late if you didn't specify a time," I roll my eyes. Quinn is one of those people who absolutely hate being late and I could really care less.

"But we have to go, and you're not even dressed yet," she yells.

Oh crap, she's right. I guess I was so distracted that I forgot the most important thing, the dress. "Pick something out for me," I call and go back to working on my mascara.

I hear Quinn grumble before she walks away. A few minutes later she is back at the door, knocking again. "Here," she sighs.

I open the door and my mouth drops into an 'o' shape. "The red dress?" I gasp.

"The red dress." She states, quirking an eyebrow. I smile and grab the dress from her and slam the door in her face.

"You're welcome," she says sarcastically.

I don't answer, I just hurry up and pull the dress over my head.

I give myself one more look over before I open the door, "I'm ready now."

Quinn's mouth falls open. "Damn, Santana," she says. "You look hot!" I am wearing my skin tight red dress. Kurt always used to tell me that red was my color. I don't agree all that much with his fashion sense, but he was right about this one.

"I always look hot," I smirk. "You look alright too. I guess." Quinn gives me a playful shove.

"We need to meet them at Portobello's and we still have to catch a cab," Quinn says brushing past me to touch up her make-up in the mirror.

"Portobello's? Is that the one that's right down the street from the club?" I ask leaning against the doorway.

"Yeah, its Rachel's favorite place. Since it was her idea I thought I would let her pick where we were eating tonight." Quinn is running her finger along her bottom lip adjusting her lip gloss.

"Great, so it's probably gonna suck." I say with a sigh.

"You don't know that, Santana." She gives me a pointed look through the mirror.

"Yeah, I do. She always picks really weird places."

"This is an Italian place. You love Italian food."

"I love Breadstixx Quinn, _Breadstixx," _I correct her.

Breadstixx is my favorite place ever. I have never found an Italian place that I love more, and believe me, I have tried. I devoted a whole week during summer break to try and find a replacement for Breadstixx. I swear I went to every single Italian restaurant within a 20 mile radius. I ate so many different breadsticks that I could literally tell the difference between all the different ingredients they use. Not to mention, I now know where all the good breadsticks joints are hiding and its not at Portobello's, and nothing has even come close to my one true love, Breadstixx breadsticks.

"Whatever, this isn't about _you_ tonight. It's about Brittany. Apparently her mom had a heart attack or something and had to have some kind of surgery." The mention of Brittany's name perks me up a little bit. I smile.

"Yeah, I know. I'm just being difficult. Brittany deserves a fun night out after everything." I say to Quinn.

Quinn stops what she is dong with her make-up and looks up. "You really like her, huh?" Quinn asks her eyes narrowing at my reflection in the mirror.

"Yeah," I say, "and she's had a rough few weeks. She also told me she was picked on in school a lot." I want to tell Quinn that I like Brittany in the way that she liked Puck or Finn, her ex-boyfriends, but I can't. I can say it in my head. I can tell myself that I know I like girls, but once I say it out loud, things change.

I know Quinn. She wouldn't have a problem with it, I think, but what if she does? What if she suddenly thinks that I have a crush on her? Would things change between us? Deep down I know that she won't, Quinn will accept me, but there is always that tiny sliver of doubt.

It would just be nice to have someone to talk to about all of this. It could even be a stranger on the subway. How do you even tell the people you care about that you have been hiding yourself, your _true _self, from them because you were just so afraid?

So, yeah, I can stand here and say that I know I like girls. I find them attractive, but I can't get that to leave my brain and force it out into the universe.

"Aww," Quinn's voice snaps me from my inner rant. "Who on earth could be mean to that girl, she's so sweet?"

I sigh because she's right, being mean to Brittany is like kicking a puppy, but I guess there are some evil people out there who go around kicking puppies. "I know, but like you said, I just want her to have a good time. You too Quinn, when's the last time you went out to have some fun?"

"Don't even get me started. Art projects take a lot of time." I smile at Quinn because I know that she really doesn't care that they take up a lot of her free time. That girl loves what she does and after everything she went through in high school, with the pregnancy, the accident, I would say she deserves to be happy.

/

Quinn and I arrive at the restaurant and find that Rachel and Brittany already have a table. They are sitting on opposite side and Quinn goes to sit next to Rachel. Brittany is looking down at her phone. I stand on the outside of the booth and when Brittany meets my gaze she chokes a little on her water.

"Woah," she lets out. "You look- hott."

I feel my cheeks heating up at the complement. My heart starts beating just a little bit faster in my chest and I let my eyes roam over Brittany. She is wearing a black strapless dress and to say she looks hot, would be the understatement of the century. She looks absolutely stunning. "Uh- so do you," I say with my mouth agape.

I look over to Quinn and see her smirking down at her plate. I kind of just stand awkwardly on the outside of the booth.

"Are you going to sit down?" Brittany asks with a piece of bread stuffed in her mouth. I shouldn't find that adorable, but I do.

"Um-"

Quinn quickly cuts me of. "Santana can't sit on the outside of the booth."

"Haha," I fake laugh in Quinn's direction. I _can_ sit on the outside of the booth, I just don't like to. "I- I just feel like everyone is watching me eat, but that's okay," I start to sit down.

"No-no," Brittany says and gently pushes on my waist. Her touch sends electricity shooting through my body. "I don't mind. Actually I prefer it because then I can go to the bathroom whenever," she smiles at me and motions for me to enter the booth.

"Thanks," I shyly smile back and sit down, but not before throwing Quinn a glare.

The waitress comes over a few minutes later and ask us all what we want to eat. I get the fettuccini Alfredo and so does Quinn. Rachel gets some weird salad thing, and Brittany gets spaghetti and meatballs.

"You're a lefty?" Brittany asks while she's slurping up a string of spaghetti.

"mhm," I reply.

"Cool," is all Brittany says and then I feel something brush against my right hand and wrap around my pinky. I look down to our hands and I see she has laced her pinky with mine. I look back up and find blue eyes smiling back at me.

It's strange and comforting at the same time. Her pinky finger might as well be wrapped around my heart. Each time I hang out with Brittany, I like her a little bit more. Each time I feel that much closer to her, like we are building some sort of bridge into each other's lives.

Butterflies fill my stomach when I think about her. When I think about the way she looks; so beautiful and so elegant. When I think about her perfect skin and the warmth that radiates from her touch from her body being so close. I want to be closer to her, _so _much closer.

"Brittany, I really hope your mom will be okay," Rachel says snapping me out of my Brittany daze.

"Yeah me too," Brittany sounds deflated. I look up to her face and see sadness written across her features. I give her pinky a squeeze in mine. "I actually talked to her today. She just sounds so drained. I really wish I could go see her." Brittany looks down to her plate of food.

My heart aches in my chest, seeing her like this. I really hate seeing her sad. She should never have to be sad.

"Why can't you visit?" Quinn asks.

"I don't have a way to get home. My parents told me I didn't need a car when I got here. They were right, I don't need one to travel around the city, but to get home I do. Flying is too expensive."

My dad is the exact opposite. He insisted that I have a car, so I could come and visit. Clearly I'm doing a lot of good there.

"Santana could drive you back," Quinn all but shouts at Brittany. I narrow my eyes at her from across the table. She gives me a pointed look.

"Uh- yeah, I could drive you back. If you want, if you don't want me to that's cool," I say suddenly. "I have a car here and I _did_ tell my dad I would visit soon," Quinn smiles to herself, giving me that smug look she knows I hate, but Rachel stare at me, shocked.

"but what about class-" Brittany starts, but I quickly cut her off.

"You said you have Fridays and Mondays off?" Brittany nods, "And what time do you get out Thursday?"

"noon."

"See, we could leave right after your last class and be in Lima before midnight, then leave on Monday morning." I smile at my genius plan.

"That sounds like a great idea," Rachel says from across the table. "How very thoughtful, Santana."

"Thanks?" I say hesitantly.

"I don't know," Brittany speaks. "I don't want to make you drive all that way."

"Oh no," Quinn says. "She needs to go, I have been trying to get her to go back there forever now." I give Quinn an evil glare which she rightfully returns. She _has_ been trying to get me to go back for part of the summer, a holiday, but I always refuse. But going with Brittany, it's not just about my family, it's about hers, and making her happy. She deserves to be happy. Plus, I could take the trip to get to know her better.

Also, I silently thank Quinn, even though I shouldn't because she is evil, but I do regardless.

"Okay. Yeah, let's do it." Brittany says excitedly. I squeeze her pinky in mine again.

/

Rachel, Brittany and I are sitting at a table in the corner of the club when Quinn comes back carrying 4 shots, "shots for everyone!" she yells and hands one to each of us. Quinn takes her seat again which is next to Rachel, "here's to our wonderful new friend, Brittany."

Brittany laughs a little and we all raise our glasses and clink them together.

The shot burns going down my throat. I hate tequila. I usually stick to mixed drinks and I've already had more than I wanted to drink tonight. I'm starting to feel a little bit tipsy.

"Ugh," I slam my shot glass down on the table and make a disgusted face and let out a strangled cough.

"Come on Santana, even Rachel can handle the tequila," Quinn shoots at me.

Tequila was the first alcohol I ever had. Some guys kept feeding me shots at my first high school party. I didn't want to be a loser, so I kept drinking them. My body was not happy about that the next day. I was sick all week and the next time I tried to take a shot, I ended up barfing. It's pretty awful. In fact, right now I am starting to feel a little queasy.

"I'm good- I'm good," I say and Brittany and Rachel let out a little holler.

"Let dance!" Rachel yells. "Guys! I wanna danceee," and before we even has time to react, Rachel disappears to the dance floor.

"Rachel- Rachel wait!" Quinn gets up and chases after her. I laugh a little to myself as I watch Quinn chase after a tipsy Rachel. Then I realize that Brittany and I are left alone.

I slowly turn my head to see her starting off to the dance floor, like she is just itching to get out there. She vaguely mentioned to me how much she loves to dance when we talked about coming here a few days ago. "Wanna dance?" I smirk at her. In the next instant she gets out of her chair and pulls me along with her. "I'll take that as a yes!"

"I _always_ want to dance," she says over her shoulder. We get to the middle of the dance floor and she turns around and presses her body against mine, "and you look _really_ hot tonight," she husks into my ear. Her voice is low and it sends a shiver down my body.

Brittany starts to run her hands all over my back. I probably look like a complete idiot because I am just standing there, to stunned to even move. I haven't seen this side of her. Its sexy and confident. I mean I saw her dance before at the gym when she thought I wasn't looking, but she was dancing by herself. Now she's dancing with _me_ and pressing herself up against me. I think my head is going to explode.

If I had butterflies before, now I have horses. Yes, horses are galloping around in my stomach. It's exhilarating and I want more, so I boldly grab onto her waist and start moving with her. Brittany smiles at me, so I must be doing something right.

The alcohol is starting to take affect and I feel myself getting more daring. I turn so that my back is facing her front. I bring my hands up and run them through my hair as I push my body back against hers. Brittany brings he hands to rest on my stomach and moves with me.

My heart is racing so fast and hard, but is she feels so amazing and I can't stop. I don't _want _to stop. My chest is heaving up and down when she spins me back around to face her, our faces just an inch apart. I let out a surprised gasp at the sudden closeness. Our eyes meet and Brittany's are the darkest shade of blue I have ever seen. Her eyes flicker from mine to my lips and then back up. She opens her mouth slightly and I think she's going to say something but all she does is lick her lips.

Brittany leans forward just a few millimeters and my heart almost beats right out of my chest. Then she tilts her head to the side a little and I feel her breath tickle my ear. She doesn't say anything. She just breathes and the heat of her breath running down the slope of my neck is almost too much. Brittany runs her nose up my neck slowly and the back down.

I stand rooted to the ground feeling more turned on than I have ever been and it's all because she smelled me. Brittany lays her head down on the crook of my neck. I am fairly certain the she lays a little kiss there because I feel something soft and warm touch my neck.

I want to ask to say or do something, but I don't know what. I am pretty sure if I try and speak right now all that will leave my mouth would be a squeak and I don't want to squeak, so I just stand still and let her lean against me and enjoy this moment.

Brittany and I keep dancing together and soon Rachel and Quinn make their way over to us. We all dance together and I am having so much fun. I don't remember the last time I enjoyed myself this much. Someone walks over to the four of us and hands us all a shot.

"From the guys at the bar," the waitress says and Brittany looks to me and shrugs her shoulders. Despite the fact that I have had too much already and that I hate shots, I take it anyway because why the hell not?!

This time it was worse than the first one, I actually do gag and of course Quinn is there to make fun of me again, "shu- up!" I slur, "you know I hate tequila."

But she doesn't say anything, she just keeps dancing. I'm pretty sure she is just keeping a close eyes on Rachel though. Rachel tends to get a little too wasted and too out of control. I look over to where they are standing and Rachel is falling all over Quinn.

We actually lost her one night we were out. She just walked right out of the bar while Quinn and I were going to the restroom. It took us three hours to find her. Turns out she went to the bar next door. She claims she knew what she was doing, but when we got in there she was hanging off some sweaty, drunk biker guy. I know for a fact that Rachel Berry would never do anything like that sober. So we never let her out of our sight anymore. Quinn is used to it though so she usually babysits Berry, which I am totally fine with. I very rarely go out with them anyway. I don't really do the whole crowd thing. Hanging at home with friends is cool, but I prefer not to go out to party.

Brittany is tugging me back into her a moment later. Quinn and Rachel have disappeared again and we spend the rest of the evening just going crazy on the dance floor.

/

"Shit," I say as I stumble into my apartment.

"Whoa," Brittany calls and grabs me around my waist. She steadies me before turning back around to close the door to my apartment. As soon as her hands leave my body, I stumble forward again. She rushes back to my side to keep me from face planting into the floor.

She's so strong. "You're so strong," I think out loud. "You're like superwoman!"

Brittany giggles into my ear and smiles. "Let's get you to your bedroom." Brittany begins to guide me toward my room, but I dig my heels into the carpet.

"Wait, wait, wait," I say, bringing my finger up over my lips. "Do you hear that?" I ask quietly.

Brittany stops moving and looks around the apartment with the funniest face. "I don't hear anything." She sounds confused.

I stand there with my finger in the air to keep her quiet, and I walk around the couch. I faintly hear music, but I can't tell where it's coming from. Brittany must be able to hear it now because she walks over to the couch and picks up the blanket and something falls and hits the floor. Brittany bends down to pick it up.

"Heyyyy," I say a little too loudly. "You found my iPod. You're like my favoritest person ever!" I smile at her and take the iPod in my hands bringing it up to my chest in a tight embrace. "You found it cause you're superwoman, didn't you? It's okay, Brittany, I can keep a secret."

"Okay," she says hesitantly. "I _am_ superwoman, but you have to keep quiet about this," she points her finger in my face.

I nod my head up and down furiously. "Won't tell a soul," I say.

"Good," she winks. "It'll be out little secret. Now, I must take you to my secret layer-"

"Wanky" I smirk.

Brittany playfully slaps my arm before grabbing one and pulling me onto her back. My arms lock around her neck as she begins to run toward my room. "ahhh" I scream while giggling on top of Brittany's back.

When she gets into my room she turns around so she can gently place me on my bed. I fall back onto the mattress with a soft thud and she comes to lay beside me.

"We're going to hate ourselves in the morning," I groan, rolling over so that my face is buried into her shoulder.

"Mmm," she mumbles and scoots a little closer to me. "_You're_ gonna hate yourself. I'm not drunk."

"What?!" I swear she drank as much as I did.

"I don't really like to drink, besides I have a class tomorrow morning that I _actually teach_. It's a cycling class."

"Did you have fun tonight?" I ask turning my head toward her and suddenly turning serious.

"I had a blast," she smiles at me, "and you are a pretty good dancer. What happened in class?"

About a week ago, we all decided (well it was actually Brittany's idea), that instead of doing the spinning class, we do a dance class. It was _so_ embarrassing.

When I saw Brittany move like that, I just couldn't turn away. She was amazing.

"I was distracted," I mumble. Then I start to realize that I basically just told her that I was ogling her during class and I start to panic, "I-I mean, it's just you-"

"Santana,-"

"You are just an amazing dancer, Britt." I quickly spit out.

"I like when you call me that," she breathes and nuzzles her face into my neck.

"Well, I like calling you that," I say back. My eyelids are starting to feel heavy and with the warmth of Brittany's body next to mine it's getting harder to keep them open.

"Santana?"

"hmm?" I ask lazily.

"Do you want to change before you sleep?"

"Can't move." I mumble into my arm.

"Here, I'll help." She gets up and moves to my closet. "Is a t-shirt okay?" she asks. I nod. "Sweats?" I nod again. "Do you mind if I borrow some too?"

"Go for it," I say weakly. I open my eyes a little and see a flash of pale skin across the room. My eyes widen and I force myself to look away, but slowly I redirect my gaze back to the beautiful blond that is currently undressing in my bedroom.

Brittany turns around and I quickly divert my gaze. My cheeks coloring in the process. She smiles down at me and shakes her head.

Brittany walks over to the bed and stands in front of me. She taps on my knees with her hands. "Okay, sit up," she say. I groan, but then she reaches for my hands and gently pulls me up. She reaches behind my back to unzip my dress.

I would be more embarrassed or maybe more turned on, if I wasn't so drunk and so damn tired. Brittany is trying to pull my dress off over my head, but she can't get it around my waist. "This isn't working," she laughs. "I'm gonna need you to stand up. Just for a couple of seconds. Then you can lay back down. Okay?" She says this so softly, it's makes my heart jump.

She pulls me up by my elbows then she pulls my dress up over my head and I see her eyes flash up and down my body. Her mouth is hanging open in an 'o' shape and she brings out her tongue to lick her lips.

She clears her throat and then motions for me to step into the sweat pants. I use her shoulder as leverage and step into them. Brittany pulls them up so they are resting on my hip bones. Then I raise my arms so she can pull the shirt over my head.

As soon as I am fully clothed. She pushes me back a little so that the back of my knees hit the mattress. Brittany wraps one arm around my back so that she can lower me down. She starts to move away, but I grab her arm.

"I'm just going to turn the lights off," she laughs. "I'll be right back," she whispers.

She comes back a few seconds later and I feel the bed dip beneath her weight. I am already laying on my side, so Brittany slides up next to me and spoons me from behind again, just like the other night.

Then something happens to me.

My shoulder start to shake violently and tears fall from my eyes. It happened before I even knew it was coming. It always does. I get very emotional when I am drunk_. Everything_ makes me cry.

"Santana?" Brittany says in a worried voice. I just sniffle in response. "Santana?" she tries again. "Are you crying?"

"Wh-what? No," I try and cover it up, but I can't help it. I can't stop my body from shaking. I don't even have a reason to be crying right now other than the fact that Brittany is next to me and I am overwhelmed.

"San," she coaxes. "Hey, what's wrong?"

I turn around in the circle of her arms so that I am face to face with her. "Nothing's wrong," I say. It's true though. Nothing _is_ wrong.

"Then why are you crying?" she laughs out. Brittany brings one of her hands to cup my cheek and wipes away the tears with the pad of her thumb. She is so gentle with her touch and that makes me want to cry harder.

"I don't know. I-I'm s-sorry." I spit out.

"You don't have to apologize about anything," she says still caressing my cheek with her thumb, and after a few moments she adds, "you are so beautiful." It makes my stomach flip. I give her a little smile. Brittany leans forward and places a light kiss on my forehead. She lets her lips linger there for a while before she pulls back. The spot where her lips were moments ago tingles.

My eyes fall shut at the sensation. Brittany pulls me into her chest and just holds me there. I sigh into her. Her sent filling my senses and soon sleep takes over.

/

The first thing I notice when I wake up is that my mouth is extremely dry. I pull whatever it is that's in front of me closer to my body. One of the first things I always do when I wake up is grab a fistful of sheets and breathe them in. It's so relaxing.

But this, whatever it is that's in front of me, is so much better. It's warmer. It smells better. Then it moves. I jump back a little in surprise. I don't remember going to bed with anyone last night. I don't even remember getting home.

I slowly open my eyes and see a very asleep, and very adorable blonde. Oh god, what happened? I hope I didn't try anything last night. That would be really embarrassing.

The blond stirs in front of me. With her arms still wrapped around my back, she pulls me back into her. My face is smashed into her chest. I relax a little when I see that we are both fully clothed, but then I realize that I don't remember changing into my pajamas. And Brittany, Brittany is wearing _my _clothes.

Though that doesn't really bother me so much.

I actually kind of like that.

I am so confused right now.

I try to remember last night. The last thing I can remember is Rachel yelling at the DJ to let her sing. She was pretty wasted. I guess I had more to drink than I thought because I was pretty gone myself. Quinn probably took Rachel back to her place, or just ended up staying there because we all went back to their apartment, but then, why would I be here and not there?

"mmm," Brittany mumbles. She starts to stretch out her body and I freeze in her arms. "Santana?" she asks quietly and her voice is scratchy and sexy again.

I slowly open my eyes so as to appear that I just woke up. "Hmm?" I groan, but it's barely even a sound. My throat is so dry.

"Are you awake?"

I just answered didn't I?

"mhm," I open my eyes a little wider this time and pull back from Brittany's embrace. The light in the room immediately sends a sharp pain to my head. I quickly shut my eyes again and cover them with my hands. "Shit," I grumble.

"You alright?" Brittany asks.

"Headache," I say with my palms pressed to my eyelids.

"I'll get you some medicine. Where do you keep it?"

"There's a bottle of aspirin on the counter in the bathroom." Brittany leaves to get the medicine and I grab the comforter and roll myself up in it. I throw it over my face so that I am in darkness again.

When she comes back I feel the bed dip beneath her weight. She grabs the top of the comforter and pulls it down slowly. The light hits my eyes and I cringe again. "Sorry," she says gently. "Here," Brittany grabs my elbow with her free hand "sit up." I sit up and she reaches over to the nightstand and hands me the glass of water she brought.

I take the glass and the pills from her. The water feels so good going down my throat and Brittany brings a hand up to comb through my hair. My eyes immediately shut at the sensation and I must moan or something because she starts to giggle. "What's so funny?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "You just- you look adorable."

"I feel like shit," I groan and fall to the side, landing in a pile of blankets.

"You need to eat something." Brittany scoots more onto the bed so she is sitting up right beside me. She starts to make light circles with her nails at the base of my back which causes my body to stretch into her touch.

"How do you do that?" I ask turning my head slightly to look at Brittany.

"Do what?" She looks down at me with those amazing eyes.

"Make me feel so good when I feel like shit?" She did this the other day too, after I got that phone call from my father. I was so upset, then Brittany shows up and it's like nothing even happened. It's almost like she erased the pain, or in the very least masked it with her own special Brittany powers or something.

"Dunno" she shrugs, but then a smirk creeps across her face. "Maybe," she starts "maybe it's because I'm your Superwoman."

My what?

"My what?"

"Last night, you _insisted _that I was superwoman."

I would say that. "ugh," I burry my face into the blanket out of embarrassment.

"Don't be embarrassed," she giggles. "I've never had such a prestigious title before." I turn to look at her again and she smiles down at me. "Besides, I like the idea of being your superwoman."

I smile back at her because I don't know what else to say. I'm not really sure what she means by that, but I like the way it sounds.

"You should really eat though. It'll make you feel better. I could make you something. What would you like?"

Nothing really sounds appetizing right now, but I am hungry. I don't even know what we have here, which is kinda pathetic because I live here.

"How about an omelet?" Brittany asks. I'm pretty sure we have eggs. Who doesn't have eggs? "I'm not really that great of a cook, but I can make a few things."

"Sounds good."

"Alright, come on."

/

I slowly make my way to the kitchen after I get out of the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face and tamed my hair a bit. Brittany is standing at the counter with the biggest grin ever. "You're too perky to be hung over," I say skeptically.

"That's because I'm not," her smile not faltering.

"Oh" I nod. I vaguely remember having this conversation last night. "Where is Quinn?" I ask, suddenly remembering her absence.

"After the club we went back to my place. You and Quinn kept drinking. Rachel passed out as soon as we stepped into the apartment. And _you,"_ she motions to me with the spatula in her hands, "you kept insisting that we need to come back here. You wouldn't say why, so I just brought you back here."

"I feel like an idiot. I swear I don't get like that very much." I drop my head into my hands. "I'm sorry you had to take care of me."

"Don't be. I had so much fun last night. After everything that has happened over the last few weeks, I really needed a night of fun. It was awesome." Brittany turns toward me. "What would you like in your omelet?" She asks me going back over to the stove.

"I don't know, surprise me?" Brittany smiles at that and walks over to the refrigerator.

I get up to get a cup of coffee that I assume that Brittany had made. "Did you make this?" I ask her.

"Mhm," she answers.

"You. Are. Perfect." I say. "Thank you so much." Brittany just laughs and continues to make the omelet.

I go to sit down at the table. This whole situation right now feels oddly comfortable. Us in the kitchen together for breakfast.

I like it.

"Here you go!" she hands the plate to me, bouncing up and down on the heels of her feet.

I take a bite and it tastes so good, "mmm," I mumble. "What's in this?"

"Just ham and cheese."

"This is fucking good," I say over another mouthful. It could very well be the fact that I was so hungry that it tastes so good, but I don't care.

Brittany laughs, "I'm glad you like it, but," she says reluctantly, "I actually have to get going. My class starts in 30 minutes."

Disappointment fills me. We were having such a good morning and I don't want it to end. I pout a little, "Okay, thanks for taking care of me last night," I say to her "and thank you for breakfast."

"It was my pleasure," she winks and I feel my cheeks heat up. "I'll see you later? At the other class?"

Shit, I totally forgot about that. "Yeah," I say and though I would normally try to get out of it, if Brittany is there it won't be that bad.

And then she is gone.

/

This dance class was even worse this week than it was last week. I couldn't focus at all. I still felt hung-over when I got there and my headache seemed to get worse. Then there was Brittany dancing and smiling at me every two seconds.

I swear she was doing it on purpose cause she had this look on her face. This smug look like she knew what she was doing to me and she was enjoying every second. I decided right then that I would get her back. I don't know how yet, but I will.

/

"My body hurts," I groan and collapse down onto Brittany's mattress.

"It seemed like you were having a tuff time focusing," she says as if she wasn't the cause of it.

"Are you making fun of me?" I ask.

"Never," she giggles. Now _Brittany_ is picking on my dancing too. "You were really good today," she says with the straightest face, but after a couple seconds I see the corners of her mouth twist into a smile.

"You are making fun of me!" I pick up her pillow and smack her with it. "Maybe if someone wasn't distracting me, I would have done good."

"Me? A distraction? No-no, _you_ are the distraction miss Santana!" She corrects me.

"What?" I squeal.

"You kept making me laugh."

"No-you kept making _me_ laugh," I defend myself.

"Let's just agree to disagree. I distracted you and you distracted me," she laughs out. "Deal?" she sticks out her hand for me to shake.

I look at her questioningly for a minute before I answer her. "Deal," I shake her hand.

"All right," she smiles at me. "Now come here."

"W-what?" I ask surprised.

"You said your body hurts. I was gonna give you a massage, but if you don't want one-"

"No, I do. Please." I cut her off. I am a little embarrassed by my desperateness. "My neck is killing me."

She laughs a little. "Come here then," I scoot closer to Brittany. She moves from beside me to behind me. Brittany sweeps my hair to the side so that it falls over my right shoulder. Soon both her hands are at the base of my neck.

She starts kneading my shoulder blade with firm circles. My whole body relaxes and I drop my head forward. I let out a loud, content sigh.

Brittany's hands start to go lower. She presses firmly with her palms on my spine, then she moves outward towards the back of my rib cage. This feels especially good and I feel something pull low in my stomach.

Her hands get even lower until they reach the small of my back. She does the same thing she did just inches above and works her hands from my spine out toward my hips. Brittany's fingers work their way to the sides of my stomach. I let out a shaky breath. That feeling in my stomach is growing.

Brittany continues to rub with the tips of her fingers. Soon enough I feel the warmth of her whole hands spread across my waist. Her hands are so soft and warm and strong. Strong like the feeling I am getting from her massage. A feeling that is nowhere near my back, but between my legs.

I lean my head to the side, exposing my neck. Brittany's hand immediately comes up and rubs there. Her finger tips traveling from my jawline down to the base of my neck. I inhale sharply at the sensation, not because of pain, but because of the unexpected pleasure of her feather light touch.

Brittany stops rubbing. I turn around to see her face a light shade of red. She looks a little bit like how I feel. Her chest is moving up and down a little faster than normal and her hands are slightly trembling. She smiles at me despite herself, "Better?" she asks breathily.

"Yeah," I choke out and have to clear my throat. "Much. Thank you." I say.

I feel like all Brittany has done is take care of me since last night. I feel a little bad about it, but at the same time I like the way it makes me feel. Even if she isn't intentionally doing it to make me feel good, I can't help but feel special.

/

I am sitting on the couch watching a movie when Quinn comes home. "You're watching Titanic?" she asks as she plops down next to me.

"No" I lie, "it was the only thing on." I actually love this movie. Something about it just brings me in and it's at my favorite part too when Rose is about to leave with her mother on a lifeboat, but then she jumps off. I can't tell Quinn that though, she would never stop giving me crap about it.

"Uh-huh," she says as she side eyes me. "Whatever. Anyway, are you really going back to Lima with Brittany next weekend?" I nod my head. Quinn takes a deep breath before she speaks again. "Could you do me a favor then?" I nod again. Quinn reaches into her purse and hands me an envelope, "Can you give this to Shelby?"

I give Quinn a weird look. She never talks about what happened in high school. She never mentions her daughter. I don't ask because I respect the fact that she wants to move on from her past. That and I know she gets really upset.

"Please Santana," she begs. I silently take the envelope from her.

"Quinn," I breathe and give her a sympathetic look.

"I just- I want Beth to know that I haven't forgotten her. I don't know if she will ever give it to her, but the least I can do is try."

"Quinn," I say again. "This is really brave of you."

"I just miss her, Santana, and I never even got to know her." Tears start to form behind Quinn's eyes and I quickly wrap her up in a hug. She cries into my shoulder. "Puck told me she still teaches at the school." Puck and Shelby had a thing once so I give her a questioning look. "No," Quinn says quickly, "It's not like _that_. He heard it from Mr. Schuster. This just really sucks."

"I know," I say. Though I don't really know what it's like to lose a daughter, I do know what it's like to lose a mother. To miss someone so much that the pain eats away at you every day. "You've talked to Puck?" I ask because the last time I checked they weren't speaking. Something happened a couple of months ago between them.

"Uh-yeah," she says nervously. "He um- he wants to talk again. He said he is trying really hard to be a better man." She looks down into her lap.

"Right," I say because this is typical Puck and Quinn. They have been on and off dating for years. He will do something to piss her off, namely make out with other women, and then come crawling back and say he's sorry and what not. Quinn lets out a frustrated sigh. "I'm sorry. I just don't want you to be hurt again. You deserve someone who will treat you right Quinn."

"But what if that person doesn't exist?" she admits. "What if no one else will put up with me? Puck gets everything. I don't have to explain why I'm so messed up because he already knows everything."

"Are you kidding?" I almost laugh. "Quinn, you are beautiful and smart and probably the sweetest person I've ever met," except for Brittany, but that's beside the point, "and you are an amazing best friend."

Quinn rolls her eyes at me and shoves my shoulder. "God Santana, I had no idea you felt that way about me," she jokes. Even though she made a joke just now, I know that she is still hurting inside.

I give her a small smile. "Let's watch the rest of this stupid movie together. We can cry it out?"

Quinn lets out a breathy laugh but then lays her head down on my shoulder and I wrap an arm around hers. We watch the rest of the movie like that.

When I am about to get up to go to bed Quinn stops me. "I'm really glad you met Brittany," she says to me. "You seem a lot happier with her around. Like you're you again."

I look at Quinn and see the sincerity written across her face. I hover in the doorway. It would be so nice if I could just tell her how I feel about Brittany. Maybe she could help me figure all of this out.

The feeling of just spitting it all out is right there in the back of my throat. The words are lodged there just waiting to be pushed forward.

"Quinn," I say in a small voice, stepping back into the living room a little. She looks back at me with an expression I can't really read. "I-uh,"

Fuck.

I can't do this. Not now.

I walk to the coffee table and pick up a random magazine and stuff it under my arm. "Just needed this," I say sucking my lips into my mouth, a little disappointed that I chickened out. "Night Quinn."

Quinn's face falls a little, "night Santana."

* * *

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	5. Chapter 5

Today has been a really off day. Nothing really bad in particular happened. Just a bunch of annoying little things went wrong.

When I woke up this morning, I _literally_ fell out of the bed. I guess I was really close to the side. I thought I was in the middle and then I just rolled right off.

So, there was that.

Then I spilt my coffee all over my new outfit that I bought on Wednesday and now I can't wear it when I go visit my father.

Hopefully things end up better for the rest of the day.

I am currently standing outside of Brittany's apartment waiting for her to come back down. We have a long day ahead of us.

A few minutes later Brittany comes bursting out of the front door carrying her bag. I meet her half way and take it from her. She smiles a thanks at me and I turn to throw her things in the trunk with mine.

I climb into the driver's seat of the car and look to my right. "You ready to go?" I ask. It's twelve thirty in the afternoon. I went to pick Brittany up from her last class and then drove her home so she could get her bags.

"Yep," she smiles at me. "Are you?" she asks hesitantly.

I told Brittany about my dad earlier this week. I didn't tell her _everything_, but she got enough to know that I don't exactly feel comfortable going home.

"Yeah," I sigh. "Well, I think I am. I don't know." I shake my head and grip the steering wheel a little too tightly.

"Hey," she says gently. "Remember what we talked about? If you don't feel ready you can always stay with me." Brittany brings her left hand and places on my knee. "You're trying and that's something."

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You're right," I breathe out and turn to look at her, "and thank you, you know, for offering your place to stay at."

Brittany nods her head and squeezes my knee.

I pull out onto the road and we are on our way to Lima.

/

Around five o clock I decide it's time to get something to eat and stop for gas.

I glance to my right and notice that Brittany is still sleeping. She has been out for a couple of hours now. I am surprised that she hasn't had to go pee yet. Before we made it out of the city, I stopped at a gas station to fill up my tank. Brittany went inside to pick out a few snacks and came back with a load of chips and a huge bottle of apple juice. She _said _it was for both of us, but she practically drank the whole bottle within the first hour on the road.

Every now and then Brittany will turn and mumble something before lightly snoring again. It's incredibly adorable and I can't help but smile at her. She really does look like an angel.

I take the next exit and pull into the gas station. As I am filling up the car I look inside to the passenger seat. Brittany is sleeping with her head facing the window and the sun is shining directly on her face.

I pull out my phone to quickly snap a photo.

Just then her eyes open and she has to squint against the sunlight. She blinks a few times before locking her eyes to mine. I should want to look away out of embarrassment for staring at her while she is sleeping, but I don't. I just stare back and smile down at her. She smiles back and stretches a little before she opens the door.

"Hey," she mumbles. "Ugh, what time is it?" she leans her head back against the seat and closes her eyes.

"It's around 5:30. I was going to wake you up to see if you wanted something to eat, but you looked so peaceful."

"I am actually starving. Those chips just didn't do it for me." She says while rubbing her stomach.

"Okay," I say. "Where do you wanna go? I think there was a burger place right down the street?"

Brittany smiles at that, "sounds good." Then her face turns more serious. "Shit, I gotta pee!" Brittany unbuckles herself from the seat and runs inside.

/

"I can't believe you got a happy meal," I giggle at her as we pull away from the drive thru.

"Why not? Happy meals make everything better. You get a toy, Santana." She says this as if her reasoning should be obvious.

I laugh a little and look over to her. She has the toy already open on her lap. "What is it?" I ask curiously.

"It's a Furby," she replies.

My face falls a little and my chest becomes heavy. Brittany looks back at me with concern written across her face. "What's wrong?" she asks.

"I-," I begin. "it's nothing." Brittany slowly puts the toy back into the bag and returns it to the happy meal box. "My mom used to get me a Furby every year for Christmas." I say suddenly. I don't want her to think that I am mad at her or anything because I'm not. It's just that my mother was the first thing to pop into my head just now. It was unexpected.

I feel so foolish because it just a Furby and those things are creepy as fuck anyway, but for some reason my mom really liked them, and I never had the heart to tell her they scared the crap out of me.

"Santana, I'm sorry." she says and tucks her chin to her chest. "I didn't-"

"You have nothing to be sorry for Britt. You didn't do anything." I shake my head. She looks over to me and our eyes meet. "Of all the things that could remind me of her and it's a fucking Furby. " I stop talking because my voice breaks a little. "I just really miss her," I say in the smallest voice. I'm not even sure if she heard that.

Brittany tightens her grip on my knee again. "I don't really know what to say," she looks down to her lap and shakes her head. "I would tell you everything is going to be okay, but who really wants to hear that?" she lets out a nervous laugh.

"Britt, really it's okay." I try to calm her down. "Can I tell you something?" I move one of my hands to rest it on top of hers.

"Anything," she breathes.

"I never got to tell my mom how much she meant to me before she-" I stop and close my eyes for a moment. "before she died." my voice shakes a little. I never really talk about her that much. It hurts too much, but I_ want_ to tell Brittany.

"Oh, Sant-"

"There's more," I quickly cut her off. "I just- I didn't get to tell her all of these things because I didn't have the chance to. My mom died unexpectedly. I always wish I had gotten a chance to- to see her again. And that's why I wanted to bring you here. I kind of lost touch with my mom in the months leading up to her accident." Brittany looks into my eyes and she smiles. "You want to see your mom and spend time with her and I want you to have that. You _deserve_ to have that."

Brittany's smile grows. "Wow, Santana. Nobody's ever-" she shakes her head. "That's really sweet." Her eyes tear up a little. Brittany leans across the console to pull me into a tight embrace. She squeezes my body and breathes out a "thank you." She pulls back and returns to her seat and I immediately miss her being that close to me.

I smile at her before I put the car in drive and pull out of the restaurant. Her hand is still resting on my knee and mine is a little higher up on my thigh. She moves her hand up and my heart almost stops, but then I realize she is reaching for my hand. I am so lame. Maybe Quinn was right. Maybe I do need to get laid. She reaches for my hand and tangles links our pinkies together. I turn my head a little and give her a shy smile.

/

It's about eleven at night now. My back hurts from sitting too long and my eyes are really heavy. Brittany gave me the address to her house at the last stop we made. She plugged the information into my GPS.

We decided that it would be best if I stayed with her tonight. It's been such a long day. I don't think I could deal with everything tonight, plus my dad doesn't exactly know I am in town. I thought I would be a good idea to surprise him and my sister.

Brittany is going to visit her mom at the hospital tomorrow, she had to go back because she was having trouble breathing. She talked to her earlier in the week. There were a few complications after the surgery and they think that is what's causing her trouble.

Brittany's dad knows that we are coming in tonight, but she wanted to surprise her mother so she doesn't know yet. I think it's really sweet.

I pull into her driveway a few minutes later. Brittany is asleep again. I let her use the pillow I brought with me. I always keep a pillow in my car. I don't really like using other peoples, unless its Brittany's.

I wish I could just crawl into the seat with her and sleep out here so I don't have to wake her up, but I would probably have a sore back for weeks if I did that. I really hate that I keep having to wake her up. I know that things haven't been easy for her this week. She told me the other night that she wasn't really getting much sleep because she was so worried about her mom.

But, it's getting really late and I don't want her to sleep in the car all night, so I decide I_ have_ to. "Brittany," I say and bring my hand up to brush the hair away from her face.

She slowly opens her eyes and groans a little. "Sorry," I say, "we're here." I cup her cheek in my hand. Brittany nuzzles into my touch. She nods her head and stretches out.

I get out of the car and grab our stuff from the back seat. It's just two bags, so it's not that bad. I walk over to the passenger side of the car where Brittany is leaning against the door. She pushes off and takes a few steps toward me. "Here, let me get those." She grabs the bags from my grip before I have time to protest.

Brittany starts to walk toward her front steps while pulling her keys out of her pocket. "They should all be sleeping, so we shouldn't have to deal with any awkward hellos," she jokes. I smile and she pushes open the front door. I am a little relieved at that information because it has been a really long day and I just want to go to sleep and leave all the uncomfortable stuff for tomorrow when I can deal with it better.

Her house has a very 'homey' feel to it. It's warm. Not like my house. My house is nice and all, there are just a lot of breakable things like glass and stuff. Brittany's house is nice. It smells nice too. I always feel like I can't be anywhere in my house without having to worry about breaking something.

"Come on," she whispers. She grabs my hand and leads me toward the stairs.

On the stair case there are a bunch of family pictures. Pictures of Brittany as a little child. Pictures of their whole family. By the look of it, she has a couple of siblings.

Brittany notices me looking at the photos on the wall. "That's my sister Jennifer," she points to a slightly younger version of herself. "She is away at college in Florida. And this butt head," she says pointing to a boy who looks about the same age as her, "is Sam. He still lives here. I apologize if you have to meet him tomorrow." She gives me a tight lipped smile before walking back up the stairs.

We reach her room and I take a look around. It's definitely more decorated than her room in her apartment. There are posters all over the wall and it's more colorful. Brittany has a pink and purple bed comforter and pictures hanging up everywhere.

"The bathroom is down the hall. First door on the left." I grab my bag before I turn around and walk toward the bathroom.

I brush my teeth and splash a little water on my face.

When I come back into the room Brittany is already laying on her bed. "I used the bathroom downstairs," she informs me. "I'm just really tired."

I climb into the bed and lay down on my back so I am looking straight up. Brittany turns her lamp off. The room goes dark except that it doesn't. I open my eyes a little wider. "There are stars," I say.

"Yeah" Brittany lets out. "I really like looking at the stars. We used to go camping over the summer and I would lay out in the grass at night in my sleeping bag and just stare up at the stars. Some nights I would even go out onto my roof and just gaze up at them."

I turn my head a little to look over at Brittany who is now staring up at the ceiling. She turns her head too and, although it's dark in the room, I know she is looking into my eyes.

I can't help but compare Brittany's eyes to the stars. The way they shine and light up when she's happy. I smile at her. She returns it and I let out a little giggle.

"I used to do the same thing," I reply.

"Really?" she giggles again.

"Yeah, except not at a camp. My abuela has a little farm and I would go over there just so I could watch the stars at night. It was my favorite thing as a child." I smile at the memory. It has been years since I have been there. It's definitely time to go back. "There are so many here in Ohio. It's probably the one thing I miss most about living here." I let out a deep breath and turn my head back toward the ceiling.

"I know what you mean. Not many stars in the city." She answers through a yawn. We both lay quiet for a few moments before Brittany turns her head back to me. "Hey," she whispers. I turn my attention back to her. "Come here." I scoot a little closer to her on the bed. "Give me your hand." I place my hand in hers and she raises it up toward the ceiling.

"I kind of had a fascination with unicorns at one point. So I researched everything about them on the internet. I found a constellation that was a unicorn and I almost died from excitement. It's called monoceros. You can't really see it anywhere, but still." Brittany guides my hand in hers across what I assume are the ones she's talking about.

The feeling of her hand in mine is indescribable and there is something intimate about this moment. Not sexual or anything, but special. Brittany lets go of my hand and mine falls to the bed. I get a little disappointed until she runs her hand from my wrist all the way up to my shoulder, tracing it lightly with her fingertips. I feel my body shutter a little from her touch.

Brittany lets out another yawn. I turn over and Brittany pushes her body up against my back. She reaches down to my hand. I think she is going to link our pinkies again, but she doesn't. Instead she laces our fingers together. I smile a to myself. She brings her head up to my shoulder and rests it there, "thank you again," she breathes. I feel her warm breath tickle my ear. "For everything."

/

The first thing I notice when I come to my senses this morning is a sweet smell. I take in a deep breath then my stomach starts to rumble. I haven't had anything to eat since that burger yesterday and now I am starving.

I groan a little and turn further onto my side. "Are you awake?" I hear a soft voice from behind me. It's only then that I realize there is an arm still draped across my waist.

"No," I groan and roll onto my back.

"Oh well, then I guess you don't want a delicious breakfast with a steaming hot cup of coffee." Just the mention of food causes my stomach to growl again. "Santana, I think there is a lion living in your stomach," she says with the most serious face.

I look at her and smile before I bring my hand up to rub the sleep away from my face. "Alright, I'm awake now," I say before I slowly sit up. Brittany's arm pulls me back down though.

"Wait," she sighs. "Just a couple more minutes. You're so warm," I plop down onto the mattress as I have no choice, not that I care too much anyway because Brittany is the best cuddler, and she buries her face into my shirt.

I let out a short laugh. "You sure do like to cuddle," I joke and poke her sides.

"Oh, if you don't like it I will stop," she says looking a little sad.

"I didn't mean it like that," I say. "I just never cuddled this much with someone I barely know. Actually I have never cuddled this much with anyone before."

"I guess that makes me pretty special huh?" She asks with a smile.

"I guess," I say and stick out my tongue at her.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. You are just super nice and you smell awesome," she says matter of factly.

"Stop apologizing." I say and squeeze her body with my arms around her, "and I like it too, okay?" Brittany looks up to scan my face. She must find something reassuring because she nods and says okay. "Alright, can we eat now? Cause I think I am about to die of hunger."

This gets her to laugh. Brittany bounces up off the mattress and to the bedroom door before I even have time to register what happened. "Come on slow poke," she calls from the doorway.

I feign a scoff and get up to move my sluggish body down the stairs.

/

When I step into the kitchen a few moment after Brittany, because she took off running like there was going to be gold waiting for her or something, I see a tall lean man with blond hair sitting at the table reading a newspaper.

"Morning," he says over the top of the newspaper.

"Good morning sir," I never know how formal to be when meeting someone's parents. Quinn's were always super uptight and didn't like when I called them anything other than mister or missus.

"Oh please, please call me Greg," he says. "I'm not ready to be a sir yet." Her dad seems really nice. He looks just like Brittany too. He is tall and thin, but not lanky.

I nod my head a little and look to Brittany for what to do next.

"Dad," she starts. "This is my friend Santana. The one I told you about over the phone."

"Oh right," he says. "Nice to meet you Santana."

"Nice to meet you too." I leave off addressing him buy his name because I always feel weird calling adults by their first name.

"Well, I have to go pick your sister up from her dance recital." He walks over to Brittany and places a kiss to the top of her head. "I will pick you up later," then he turns to me. "Santana, thank you so much for driving her down here. I know it will mean a lot to her mother." I nod my head and smile at him. "There are pancakes left over if you girls want some."

"Yes!" Brittany calls from across the kitchen.

Brittany grabs a plate for the both of us and fills it with pancakes.

Brittany's dad leaves a few minutes later after another quick goodbye. Brittany and I have been sitting at the table eating our delicious pancake.

"Santana?" Brittany asks.

"Mhm?"

"Why don't you perform anymore," she asks carefully, like she is afraid of my reaction.

I stiffen a little at the question. "Um- I-I don't really like to talk about it," I say back. It's not that I don't want to tell her because I honestly feel like I could tell Brittany anything, it's just so hard to talk about it.

"Okay," she says and doesn't press the matter any further, which I am really grateful for. "So, you're going to see you father today?" she asks taking a sip of her orange juice.

"Yeah," I breathe. "Yeah, I might as well." Brittany nods in understanding. "But, do you think I could maybe stay with you again tonight?" She just stares at me as if waiting for me to continue. "It's okay if it's not alright. You probably want some alone time with your family anyway-"

"I would like it if you stayed here again, Santana," she cuts me off.

"Thank you."

I just really don't want to sleep in my house. I mean, I love my home and all, but my room is covered with the memories of my mom. I always kept tons of photos of the family and she is in every one of them. Not to mention my insanely large collection of furbies that always creep me out. Now it's just like they are mocking me. A constant reminder of what used to be.

/

When I pull into my drive way I take a few moments to just sit and look at the house I grew up in. I almost don't even recognize it. It's the same house, everything even looks the same, but it doesn't _feel_ the same. It doesn't feel like the happy place that I grew up in. It doesn't feel like there is anything happy left here at all.

Slowly, I get out of my car and walk to the front door. I don't even know if I should just let myself in or knock. I decide to knock because I don't have the house key on me. My sister opens the door.

"Maya, hey" I say. We haven't spoken to each other much lately either. I feel really terrible about it, but she is always busy when I am free and vice versa.

"Santana?" She smiles at me. I bite my lip to keep my emotions in check. In a flash she is out on the porch with me and embracing me in a hug. "How the hell are you?" She almost screams.

I push back from her embrace and look her over, "gosh you look so different," I say to her. "When did you become so adult?" I joke.

"Haha" she laughs. She grabs me by the arm and pulls me inside. "Papa," she yells. "Santana's here!"

"What?" A muffled voice comes from down the hall.

"Santana is here" she repeated a little louder.

"Maya, stop it," his voice is approaching us. "Don't jok-" he stops mid-sentence and his mouth falls open. "Mija" he breathes and I find myself wrapped in another hug. Then he holds me at arm's length with a questioning look.

"Surprise" I say and look to the floor.

He pulls me into another hug, "it's so good to see you."

/

"So, how are you?" I ask while sitting around the coffee table.

"I'm good, like I said before, your sister is keeping me busy."

I nod in understanding, "you guys seem to be doing all right."

"We are." He says quickly. "How are you honey? We really miss you."

"I know, I have been busy with school. Papa," I say softly while averting my gaze to the floor. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, honey. I know it's difficult. I just wish you didn't shut us out completely."

I lower my head even further because that's not what I meant to do at all. Now that I know he thinks that's what I did, it hurts even more. I can feel the tears forming behind my eyes. One falls and lands on my folded hands in my lap.

My father quickly comes to sit beside me. "I miss her so much," I cry. My whole body is shaking with sobs, he puts his hand on my back. "I miss her and I never got the chance to tell her goodbye."

"It's okay sweetheart," he coos. My father pulls me into a hug and rocks me back and forth like a child. I feel so small in his arms. "What do you say we surprise Maya and go see one of her games? Huh?"

I was hoping she had something going on. I nod my head. My father always did have a special way of making feel like everything was going to be just fine and it has been so long since I have I have felt like that, especially with him.

/

I texted Brittany a few minutes ago asking her if it was okay that I come back over. I sat and talked with my dad almost all day until it was time to go to my sisters soccer game.

It was great to be around them again. To get to know the new people that they have become. Maya is so much more mature and she looks so different, not like the small child that I used to know.

My dad told me all about what he has been doing this past year, fixing up the shed in the back yard and working mostly.

It was a good start to getting our relationship on track. I promised him that I would come and visit again soon and for the first time in a long time, I actually meant it.

I even asked him if he thought it would be okay if Maya came to visit me in the city. He said he would have to think about it, but I just think he was happy that I was trying to get them back into my life, that he would agree to anything. So I said good bye to the both of them and let it be for now. I gave them each a long hug before I left.

When I texted Brittany she said that she was still at the hospital and to let myself in through the garage. I wasted no time in going up to her room to wait for her. I didn't really want to deal with anything or anyone right now.

Seeing Maya and my father again made me feel so guilty for not talking to them for so long. Maybe it was selfish to want to stay away from them. I have been telling myself for so long that this was for them and not me, now I'm not so sure. I can't help but feel extremely selfish, like I completely disregarded their feelings and the fact that they were hurting too.

I plop down on Brittany's bed and plant my face in her pillows. I take a deep breath in to try and calm myself down. To my surprise it actually works a little. I don't know whether it's the breathing or the smell of the coconut of Brittany's shampoo.

I guess I fall asleep because the next thing I know is something caressing my back. I look up and find Brittany sitting against the backboard with something in her hands.

"Gosh, Santana, finally. You slept all day. It's Sunday night."

"W-what?" I am surprised at how scratchy my voice sounds.

"I'm kidding. I just figured you were still really tired from driving all day yesterday, so I let you sleep. My dad told me to bring this to you," she hands me a cupcake.

I smile up at her and move to sit next to her against the backboard.

"So, how'd it go today?" She asks.

"It went pretty well," I say but tuck my chin to my chest, remembering how awful I feel about everything.

"That's good, right?" Brittany asks with concern.

"Yeah," I say. "I mean- it should be."

"I'm confused," she admits. "You're not happy it went well?"

I sigh because I don't really know. "Earlier, you asked me why I don't perform anymore. You still wanna know?" I ask. Brittany nods. "It's because of my mother." I say as quickly.

"Because you miss her?"

"No, I mean- yes I miss her. There's more to it though."

"Okay," she says and adjusts herself on the bed silently begging me to continue.

"I was supposed to be at a Cheerios competition, except that I wasn't. I told you I used to be in the glee club in high school. I didn't tell my parents that I was because I didn't want to admit that I liked it. I tried to play it off as just something I was doing to 'destroy it from the inside,'" I quote Sue's words, "but I actually loved it. It was the _one thing_ that made me happy. Everything else was just so exhausting. I couldn't let anyone know that though.

So, my mom went out looking for me. She must have thought something happened to me because I never missed a Cheerios competition before and that's when it happened. Some drunk driver hit her car off the road. She ran straight into a tree." I feel the tears start running down my face again. "It was all my fault. Because I was too afraid to let them in on such an important part of my life, something I loved doing. My mom died from my stupid ego."

It all just spills out of me. I have never talked about this before. People found out, of course. They figured it out after a while. Quinn knows because she was with me that night at the hospital. It was the first and last time I spoke about it, until now.

I stopped going to glee club.

That was the last night I ever performed.

I lean into Brittany's shoulder and she brings her arm up around my body to hug me close to her and she just lets me cry for a few minutes. "I wanna show you something," Brittany says. I look up at her confused. That's not what I was expecting her to say at all.

She reaches out for my hand with her own and I take it. Then she grabs her comforter off the bed. We walk out of her bedroom and towards the stairs. Brittany holds my hand in hers the whole way, guiding me through the darkness of her house.

"Where are we going?" I ask curiously.

"You'll see," she says back.

We reach the back door and we step outside. The cool night air hits me immediately, but it feels refreshing. I look across the back yard and I see where she is taking me.

There is a large tree house sitting up in one of the trees. Brittany guides me up the latter trailing behind me with the comforter still in her arms. There is only one window up here and it's on the side that's facing away from the house.

"I used to come up here all the time when I was younger," she tells me. "Those days when I would get really upset about people making fun of me, I would come up here and just stare at the stars. It's so peaceful."

Brittany lays the blanket down on the floor and is already sitting.

I go and stand by the large window just looking up at the night sky. I forgot how relaxing it was to see something bigger than yourself. It makes you feel insignificant, but in a good way. The realization that there is more out there than you could have ever imagined helps you forget about your problems, if only for a moment.

I take a deep breath and go over to sit with Brittany. She immediately wraps me up in her arms. She leans us both back so that we are laying down. "You wanna know what my mother told me after my cat died?" I nod and snuggle closer. "Well, after my cat died I was _so_ upset. Cats are like my favorite things ever. My mom bought me a new one to try to cheer me up, but I just hated it because I didn't feel like I deserved it. I didn't feel like it was fair to Mrs. Fluff to have and love another cat.

Anyway, I was in my room crying one night and she came in to see what was wrong. I told her everything and she just looked at me and said, 'The only thing sadder about her not being here is her not being here and you giving up your love for cats' and then she just left me there," she shrugs her shoulders. "Now me and Tubs are best friends."

"Tubbs?" I giggle. I turn to my side so that I am snuggled up into Brittany's side.

"Mhm, Lord Tubbington." She answers bringing one hand up to rub at the base of my neck. I let out another light laugh and curl into her body.

I let myself look over her features in the star lit night. Her hair is shining with the light of the moon, but it's her eyes that stick out the most. Her perfectly blue eyes that shine with nothing but honesty.

"Santana?" Brittany finally says. "You can't blame yourself for what happen to your mom. You didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes bad things happen. And that's okay, we just have to keep staying strong. Being happy doesn't mean you have forgotten or that you have let them go."

I turn my head so we are looking at each other again. It's weird that I have never really thought of it like that before. Quinn and my father always tell me it wasn't my fault. I feel the tears threatening to fall again.

I just miss her so much. It's hard not to blame myself. If I had been where I was supposed to be, this wouldn't have happened. If I had been up front with them, then I would still have my mom.

"I know it's hard," Brittany speaks again as if she can read what I am thinking. "I blamed myself for Mrs. Fluff's death too. I wasn't supposed to go into the barn, but one day I did. She must have climbed in after me because we found her dead a week later. I know it's stupid comparing the loss of a cat to your mother, but she was my best friend." Brittany looks down to her hands where she is fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

"It's not stupid," I tell her.

Brittany turns in my arms and sits up on her elbows so that she is looking down at me, her eyes searching mine.

"Santana," she says as she brings her hand up to cup my cheek. "You are a beautiful person, and you deserve to be happy." She smiles down at me, but then something changes in her expression. She looks down at me with the softest expression and it makes my heart clench.

Brittany slowly moves forward, never breaking eye contact, until she stops just an inch away from my face. Until my breath is mixing with hers. My lips are parted and my heart rate is increasing. The hand that was on my cheek slips down and wraps around the back of my neck.

Brittany gently pulls me forward that last inch until there is no space between our lips. I inhale sharply through my nose and now my heart is hammering against my chest. Brittany's lips wrap around my bottom lip and she just hold there.

Her lips are so soft. Softer than anything I have ever felt before. Her hand tightens at the back of my neck which causes me to shutter a little.

When she finally pulls away I am out of breath.

Neither one of us say anything. I am pretty sure if I tried to speak, nothing would come out.

She coughs awkwardly and looks down to the ground, but she doesn't back away. "I- I'm sorry," she says quickly and starts to move away.

I don't know what that was or why she did it. I just know that it was the best kiss I have ever shared with someone. I just know that I liked it and I don't want her to move away. Not when her being that close to me felt so right. Not when I want to kiss her again.

I sit up and take her face in my hands and pull her into me, crashing our lips together. She is tense at first, but then she starts to kiss me back. I lean back and pull her with me so that we are laying down on the comforter again. Brittany's hands fall to either side of my head. I deepen the kiss by leaning up into her.

I feel like I am swimming inside of my head, my thoughts are all screaming different things at me. Part of me is telling me that I should stop this, but another part, _a much larger part_, is telling me that this is right. How could it not be when Brittany makes me feel like the happiest person on the planet?

I grab a fist full of Brittany's shirt and tug on it a little so she lays flush against my body. The kiss is becoming more heated. Brittany's hands tangle into my hair and pull me closer still and though my eyes are closed, they roll back in ecstasy. The feeling she is giving me from a simple kiss is unreal. My body is on fire in the best way possible.

I have to break the kiss because I am having trouble breathing. Brittany is still hovering over me and I let out a breathy laugh.

Brittany giggles a little too before saying, "god I've wanted to do that for so long" she breaths laying her head down on my chest. I smile to myself bringing my arms up and wrap them around her back. Just so I can have her close to me.

Brittany's comforter is huge so I take both sides and I wrap us up together.

My eyes are getting heavy. Probably from all the crying I did earlier. It was an emotionally exhausting day.

I just remembered that I didn't even ask how it went with her mother today. I feel like a total jerk now, but I can hear Brittany's breathing getting deeper. I don't want to wake her up now. She has had a long day too.

So I let myself enjoy this moment. I don't know what any of this means. I really like Brittany, but I don't know if I am ready for anything more than what just happened.

Right now I just want to think about how perfect that kiss was. I can still feel her lips moving against mine. I smile to myself and hold her just a bit tighter.

Brittany lets out a sigh and nuzzles her face into my neck.

I finally close my eyes and fall asleep smiling like an idiot.

* * *

Thanks again for reading :)

Please review if you have time.


	6. Chapter 6

The sun is slowly seeping through the large window in the front of the tree house. I open my eyes only to find blonde hair all over my face. I laugh a little to myself because Brittany is still laying on top of me in the exact same position I last remember.

Everything from last night comes flooding back into my memory. Yesterday was an all-around emotional rollercoaster. It was like I went from one extreme to the next. I woke up extremely happy in Brittany's embrace, then I was crying the next minute, and then I was back in Brittany's arms, the happiest I have been in a long time.

All because she kissed me.

I feel like I am back in junior high flailing about kissing a boy for the first time, except for this time it's genuine flailing, not just for show. Actually the first kiss I ever had was awful. It was a boy named Eric, it was too wet and too hard and nothing about it felt good at all.

But Brittany's kiss, ugh, it was just everything.

It was perfect.

I still feel like I'm not attached to my body, that maybe I dreamed the whole thing. That _would_ be something that would happen to me. I bring my tongue out to wet my lips and can taste Brittany on them, so I am gonna go ahead and say that it actually happened.

Brittany stirs a little on top of me, nuzzling a little further into my embrace. I poke her in the sides with my fingers, "Brittany," I coo. "Brittany, wake up," I say softly.

She takes in a deep breath but doesn't say anything. I let my fingers tickle up and down her arms. I can feel her smiling against my neck. "I know you're awake," she sucks in a big breathe, but doesn't let it out. I laugh a little to myself. "Britt, you have to breathe."

She shakes her head.

"Why not?" I laugh.

"Because," is all she says but I can still feel her smiling.

"Okay," I say and bring my hands back to her sides, "you asked for it." I slowly start to wiggle my fingers.

"Santana, no!" She immediately cries, releasing the breath she was holding in her lungs.

"Too late," I start tickling her sides and she starts to raise off me. Brittany lets out a sharp screech, but I quickly wrap my arms around her so she can't get up and hold her close to my body.

She frowns down at me. "That's a hell of a way to wake up," she says with a pout.

"I'm sorry," I say loosening my grip around her. "I couldn't help myself."

I guess the blanket feel off while we were sleeping, although I didn't notice because Brittany was laying in me all night, but I feel her shivering right now. "Are you cold?" I ask softly.

"No," she says while tucking her hands into her chest between our bodies.

"Liar," I say squeezing her closer again.

"Maybe I should have brought out two blankets so we could sleep on one and still have a cover," her voice is muffled because her face is smashed into my chest. I rub her back with my arms, trying to get her to warm up a little.

"Hey, how did it go with your mom yesterday?" I ask, remembering that I forgot to ask her about that last night.

Brittany sits up and stretches out. "It went really well. They said she was doing a lot better than she was a few days ago and she can probably come home Tuesday."

"That's fantastic. Are you going to see her again today?" I ask.

"Mhm, I told her yesterday I would," she says before looking down sheepishly to her lap. "Actually," she starts. "Would- would you come with me? I really want her to meet you."

Brittany wants me to meet her mom? That shouldn't mean as much to me as it does and it shouldn't make me as nervous as I feel. "Of course," I say simply because I have a feeling I would do anything if she was the one asking me to.

"Great," she smiles at me before laying back down and curling into my side.

"Oh crap," I say suddenly remembering what Quinn asked me to do for her.

"What?"

"I forgot Quinn asked me to do her a favor while we're here." I slap my forehead. "Do you think we can make a stop before we leave Lima tomorrow?"

"Sure," Brittany shrugs her shoulders.

"Britt?" I say quietly. "Thank you, for last night."

I was thanking her for everything. For making me feel better. For helping me open up about last night. For just being there for me.

She nods her head and smiles at me.

/

We are walking back up to Brittany's room. I am carrying the huge comforter in my arms so I can't really see what's in front of me.

"Britt," I grunt, "Britt- hold up. I can't see." I peek over the top of the comforter, but she is nowhere to be found.

Just then I collide with a body coming down the stairs.

"Crap, ouch," I say dropping the comforter.

I look up from the ground and see a young man standing in front of me.

"Sorry," he exclaims. "I didn't see-" he now looks up to my face. "I'm Sam," he smiles, extending a hand out for me to shake.

I am assuming that this is Brittany's brother. I awkwardly reach forward and shake his hand. You can definitely tell that they are related. His eyes are almost as pretty as Brittany's. Almost. His lips are the hugest lips I have ever seen in my life. I am certain he could suck a baby's head right off if he wanted to.

Sam rests his elbow against the wall and leans against it. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Is he serious right now?

"uh- I-" I stutter. I look around for some kind of distraction. I would hate to be rude to Brittany's family, but I can almost feel the insults burning at the back of my throat. Snixx is coming.

"Sam, leave Santana alone!" Brittany comes out of her room. She throws a sock at his head. Sam ducks away and rubs at the spot on his head. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Jesus, Britt. I was just saying hello," he scoffs.

Brittany folds her arms across her chest and narrows her eyes at him. Sam does the same thing and I am caught in the middle of an very bizarre brother/sister standoff.

"Yeah, I remember the last time you said 'hello' to one of my friends," she says under her breath.

"okay," I draw out and begin to walk up the stairs. I brush past Sam, trying to avoid eye contact, but the he grabs my arm to stop me.

"Nice to meet you Samantha," his voice all sultry like. Okay, so his eyes are really pretty, again not as pretty as Brittany's, and maybe he does have a puppy dog quality about him, but come on, at least get the girl's name you are trying to hit on _right._

Amateur.

"It's Santana," I roll my eyes. "Nice to meet you too," I say sarcastically.

"Sorry about him," Brittany says before turning and closing her bedroom door. "He's weird." She makes a face. "He always hits on my friends."

"Oh, no its fine." I try and brush it off. Though I am still a little peeved at trouty mouth. "I don't even think you could call that hitting on someone. That was just sad. He has zero game."

"Thank you," she exclaims, "I have been trying to tell that to him for years."

I walk further into the room to go and sit on Brittany's bed. Just then a cat waddles its way out of the closet. It lets out a this sound that is a mix between a growl and a meow. I jump a little at the noise.

"Tubbs!" Brittany exclaims. "And where were you last night huh? I swear if you were hanging out with that no good tramp down the street again?" She is holding that insanely large cat at arm's length in front of her. Brittany leans closer to the cat and sniffs its fur. "Great now I have to buy more nicotine patches." She lets out an exasperated sigh and set him down on the mattress.

Lord Tubbington (I still can't get over that name) crawls up next to me and plops down right by one of my hands. I retract it quickly.

"Aww, he likes you." She coos. I'm not sure if it's to me or to the cat.

I'm not really an animal person per se. I prefer dogs because I never have any luck with cats. I honestly think they all hate me. I slowly lower my hand and lightly touch his fur when all the sudden he moves. I pull my hand back to my body quickly.

See what I mean.

"Santana," Brittany states calmly while coming to sit on the other side of Lord Tubbington, "he's not going to bite you. I promise."

To prove her point, Brittany takes my right hand in her left and guides it into petting the cat. Upon contact, the cat stirs again, but nuzzles into my touch and starts purring.

"See," she breathes. "You know," she starts talking, "Lord Tubbington doesn't let just anyone in his life. You have to be pretty special to hang with this cat. I also trained him to always growl at Sam, cause he's a butt."

So Tubbs doesn't like Trouty either.

We can make this work.

I keep petting Lord Tubbington's head while Brittany gets up to put something in her closet.

"How did he get this big?" I suddenly ask.

Brittany spins around quickly. "You see, Tubbs here," she gives him a pointed look, "sneaks out to hang with his lady friend. I named her Kitty. She's a total bitch by the way. Anyway, they always sneak out and go eat Arby's together. Tubbs came home one night and had a curly fry hanging off his fur. I banned him from seeing Kitty, but you know how that goes, it's like forbidden love or something. Every time I see Kitty in the streets, she hisses at me. Tubbs must have told her what I said, but he should know that I am only looking out for his health." Brittany speaks a little louder at that last part and talks directly to Lord Tubbington.

Lord Tubbington lets out a low meow and looks away from Brittany. Okay, that was strange. Maybe Brittany is a cat whisperer or something. I mean, she can do everything else. Maybe I am getting myself involved with some Dr. Dolittle shit and I am going to find out she has a secret life where she can actually talk to animals.

Although that would be pretty awesome.

I decide to play along though. "I'm sure Tubbs isn't doing this to hurt you. Maybe he loves Kitty." I say and scratch under his chin. He looks up into my eyes purring.

Brittany huffs and places her hands on her hips while shaking her head back and forth. "I just don't like that Kitty."

I really can't believe we are having a full conversation about the relationship between two cats but I can't stop myself from what I'm about to say. "Maybe Kitty has a reason she is mean? Maybe she has to be. It's a tough world out there and who can you really trust anyway?" I say quietly.

Brittany looks like she is about ready to argue that point, but instead her face softens as she realizes that maybe we aren't really talking about Kitty any more.

"You're right." Brittany steps closer to me and kneels down in front of me. "I guess I never thought of it like that, but Kitty should know that there are people in the world that she _can _trust."

I lower my head to my chest. "Yeah, I guess." I say under my breath.

/

"Hi mom," Brittany says excitedly while we step into her hospital room.

"Brittany!" Her mom says back just as excited with her arms outstretched toward her. Brittany walks over to her mother's bed side and gives her a big hug. I stand awkwardly in the doorway not really knowing what to do.

I've always been really weird around adults.

Brittany looks over to me and finds my eyes. She smiles and motions for me to come into the room.

"Mom, this is my friend Santana." Brittany's mom smiles at me.

Mrs. Pierce smiles brightly at me. "So, you're the famous Santana? Brittany wouldn't stop talking about you yesterday."

I look over to Brittany and raise my eyebrows. "Is that right?" I say smirking at her. Brittany's cheeks turn a dark shade of red as she sucks her lips into her mouth.

She lets out a nervous laugh clearing her throat in the process. "Clearly someone is delusional." She says while patting her mom's head. "You can't trust anything she tells you. _Ever_."

Her mother smacks Brittany's arm. "How else would I know who she was? I've never met her before and the last time I checked I'm wasn't a physic."

"I know you're not a side kick mom. Come on now." She rolls her eyes. "but if you ask me, you could totally pull it off. I have seen how scared you make dad and Sam when you are angry, or you could be one of those fun sidekicks, like a super mom or something because your cookies are just- out of this world."

Brittany's mom and I both start laughing at Brittany's rambling.

"Whatever smarty pants," her mother say back. "Any who," she sing songs. " I am the mother of this nut case," she pulls Brittany closer and ruffles her hair with her hand. "My name is Lisa." She smiles at me and extends her hand.

I take her hand in mine. "Nice to meet you," I smile back.

This is so comfortable. Being in here just watching the two of them talk back and forth. So far all the Pierce's seem really nice, but Brittany's mom is hilarious. I am so glad I decided to go along on this trip.

Seeing Brittany being so happy with her mom makes something swell deep inside my chest. I'm glad she gets to have these moments.

I let out a content sigh from my place in the chair.

If you were just watching the two of them at their home, or anywhere else, you wouldn't even know anything is wrong with Lisa. She just looks so happy, which is good, but at the same time it makes my heart clench. I guess it's the pessimist in me that would think, if I were ever in her position, I would be completely miserable and hating the world, but somehow I just don't think that is in the Pierce nature.

I mostly sit back and listen to the crazy conversations they are talking about. Occasionally Brittany's mom would ask me a question about what I was up to in life and where I go to school. I thought Brittany was a riot by herself, but with her mother around it's like I am at a comedy show. They feed off each other so well.

"I can't wait to get home," her mother sighs. "The food here is the worst." She says with a discussed face.

"We could go get you something? If you'd like." Brittany says.

I know I would hate to be cooped up in a hospital bed for days on end eating crappy food. I saw the food they brought her. It didn't even _smell_ real.

"Oh, you know what would be great?" She says in a whisper. "Ice cream."

"Ice cream it is," I say.

"I can't make you guys go out and get me food." Mrs. Pierce says looking down at her hands.

"Oh come on mom, we both know ice cream is like your favorite thing ever." Brittany exclaims by my side.

Like mother, like daughter.

"It's really not a problem. Actually now I want ice cream too." I say while rubbing my stomach.

Mrs. Pierce rolls her eyes at the both of us before agreeing to let us go get her some ice cream.

/

Brittany and I are walking toward her car when she bumps her hip into mine. "Thank you for coming with me. My mom loves you."

"Well, I love your mom. She's hilarious." I return the hip bump. "Just like her daughter."

"Oh, if you think _I'm_ hilarious, then you should see my whole family together." Brittany stops at the passenger side of the car. "You should see my mom at Christmas during our annual game of Christmas movie charades."

We climb into my car. I turn to Brittany and smirk at her. Brittany looks back at me with wary eyes. "...what?" She asks cautiously, her eyes narrowing.

My smirk turns into a full smile that stretches across my face. "You talked about me." I say simply.

Brittany's cheeks color a tiny bit, but, like always, she plays it cool. "Yeah, you're awesome" she says with a shrug. "Who wouldn't talk about you?"

I just smile at her response, but on the inside I am melting. The effect this woman has on me is unreal.

/

Visiting hours are almost up when we get back to the hospital, so we are a little rushed in eating our ice-cream, which sucks because I was actually looking forward to talking with Brittany's mom again. Not to mention, that I just want Brittany to spend all the time she can with her mom.

When it's time to say goodbye, Brittany gets a little chocked up, hugging her mom extra tight. I can see the struggle in both women's faces, neither one wanting to let go. If I had to take a guess, I would say that Brittany and her mother are really close.

When it's my turn to say goodbye to her mom, I am surprised by what she has to say to me. "Thank you for making my daughter happy again," she whispers into my ear. It's so soft that I am certain Brittany didn't hear it because I hardly heard it myself.

I'm not sure how to respond to that.

Was Brittany not happy before?

I just hug back a little tighter and nod my head.

As we are walking out of the room, I look over to Brittany and see that her eyes are teary, like she is going to cry, but is trying really hard not to.

I wish that she wasn't afraid to cry in front of me, but I understand not wanting to feel vulnerable around other people, but god knows I have had no qualms about crying in front of her. I think I have broken down too many times already and we have only known each other for a short while.

It pains me because I want to comfort her, but I don't know how.

/

We decide to go to the park because it's still early in the evening. By the time we got to the car, Brittany seemed to be fine. Her eyes were bright again.

It's almost dark when we get there, so no one is around.

I haven't been to a park in ages. Kids running around screaming while their parents yell at them isn't really my thing, but when there aren't any people here, it's actually quite relaxing.

Brittany told me on the way here that this is where she used to come as a kid. She even showed me the bench where Quackers saved her life.

"I had a lot of fun today," I say, taking in a deep breath from the fresh air that is surrounding us. Brittany just hums in response.

We are sitting at a picnic table that is overlooking a small lake. The lake looks like something out of a horror movie or one of those movies where all the fish turn into mutants. The water looks lethal.

"We should go swimming." Brittany blurts out.

"Um, how bout we don't. I'm not really looking to change into some freaky lizard thing tonight. Not to mention, we will freeze to death." I shudder at the thought.

"Well, I can keep you warm," she says and wiggles her eyebrows at me.

I didn't even realize that I was cold until now, the prospect of Brittany's body warming me is somehow making me colder. Maybe because I want Brittany's body pressed up against mine.

I don't say anything to Brittany's remarks and she must sense my hesitancy. "Come here," she says before she turns and climbs up onto the table. "Come on," she encourages me and pats the space in-between her legs.

I roll my eyes at her playfully, but climb up with her and shuffle back against her body. When my back touches her front, her hands come to wrap around my waist where she rests her hands on my stomach. She sets her chin down to rest in the space between my neck and shoulder.

Brittany starts to hum something that sounds familiar. After the first few notes, she starts to sing softly into my ear. "Jingle bells, batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The bat mobile lost its wheel and the joker took ballet." I shiver despite the fact that she is singing a freakin Christmas song into my ear.

I smile to myself before asking, "you do know that its September, right?"

Brittany squeezes my body closer to hers before she lays her head back down on my shoulder. "Rudolph the red nosed reign deer," she begins and I start to giggle.

"Do you know anything other than Christmas songs?"

"Yes, but I love Christmas. And I love Christmas music."

"What's your favorite song?"

She taps on her chin for a moment before recognition takes hold in her eyes. "I don't have a favorite song. I like too many to pick just one." We sit in silence for a few moments. With Brittany just holding me before she speaks again. "What's yours?" she asks while running her nose up the length of my neck.

I let out a shaky breath, "uh…" I think for a moment. "Well, right now I am obsessed with Pink, so probably 'Glitter in the air' by her."

"Why don't you sing that one then?" she asks ask as I turn my head to look at Brittany.

"Okay," I shrugs my shoulders, "but you have to sing it with me." I feel myself tense a little, but then I realize I shouldn't be worried about anything. It's just Brittany.

I slowly nod my head and I can see Brittany's face light up, "okay, but you have to start."

She smiles at that and gives me a quick peck on the cheek. I feel a flutter in my stomach at the gesture. "_Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands? Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it? Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air? Have you ever looked fear in the face and said I just don't care?"_ Brittany runs her hands down my shoulders to my wrists where she laces out fingers together.

Brittany's voice is soft while she sings and with her so close to me, I find it hard to control the beating of my heart.

I sigh in content. She brushes my hair away from my neck and places a lingering kiss on my shoulder, then peppers a few up the slope of my neck. My skin feels like it's on fire. "Your turn," she breathes when I don't say anything.

I take a deep breath and begin, "_It's only half past the point of no return the tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn, the thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase. Have you ever felt this way?"_

Brittany joins with me for the chorus. "_It's only half past the point of oblivion, the hourglass on the table, the walk before the run, the breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames. Have you ever felt this way?_"

Brittany lets out a sigh from behind me before wrapping me up in a tight hug. "Your voice," she starts, "it- it's _so_ beautiful."

I feel my cheeks heat up at her complement. It's not like no one has ever complemented my voice before, but like with everything else that Brittany does, it's a million times better.

I turn my head a little so that we are looking at each other. She nudges my nose with hers and I can't take it anymore. I have been wanting to do this since we woke up this morning. I lean forward and connect our lips. Brittany lets out a soft hum. I push her back until I am laying down in top of her, taking her bottom lip in mine. Then I feel something soft and warm on my lips. It's Brittany's tongue. I open my mouth a little and she slides her tongue in.

This time it's me who lets out a soft hum, or is it a moan? I can't be too sure because I lost my train of thought. Kissing Brittany has to be up there on my top list of anything I've ever experienced ever. When her tongue touches mine, I literally blank.

All I can do right now is feel her.

Touch her.

Be close to her.

There isn't much else I want to these days anyway, and that kind of scares me. What if she doesn't feel the same way that I do? What if this doesn't mean anything at all to her? But I'm not thinking about that right now. I couldn't if I wanted to.

Not when it feels this good.

This _right._

I pull back suddenly needing oxygen or my lugs would burst. Brittany looks into my eyes and smiles, her eyes beaming up at me. "Santana, I-"

"We should probably get going," I interrupt her. I don't want to know what she is going to say next.

I can't.

Not right now anyway.

She is going to tell me that this isn't right. We can't do this. I don't even know why I thought that I could just lean forward and kiss her.

Brittany is such a good thing and good things just don't happen to Santana Lopez. There is always a price to pay.

Brittany's face falls at my words. "O-okay" she says a little broken.

/

On the drive back, neither one of us speaks. I don't even make eye contact with her because I feel terrible.

I'm such an _idiot_ sometimes. We were having such a good time, or at least I was, I hope Brittany was too, and I just _had_ to mess it up.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

When I get scared, I close up and I hurt people because its easier than being hurt myself.

As I am approaching a street light, I slightly pray that it doesn't turn red.

There has been an awkward silence since we got into the car. The radio isn't on, so the silence is magnified.

The light turns yellow and then red.

Of course.

The car rolls to a stop. You could cut the tension with a knife, it's that awkward.

My eyes shift to Brittany.

She looks like a kicked puppy. Her head is hanging down and her hands are folded in her lap. Its torture to see her like this, literally, and what makes it even worse, is that _I_ did this, but I have no idea what to say.

So I don't say anything. I just press on the gas when the light turns green.

When we get back to her house, it's even worse. We still haven't said anything to each other and it's _killing_ me.

Brittany's dad greets us both when we come in. I smile politely at him, but otherwise say nothing. I follow Brittany into the living room of her house and instead of sitting on the couch, with her I take a seat in the rocking chair.

Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best decision because I hear her let out a sigh from the couch and I feel like shit all over again. It just happened. Avoidance is in my blood or something.

Sam comes into the room a while later and sits in the chair that is right next to mine. I try my hardest to ignore his presence, but that's really hard to do when I can feel him staring at me.

"You look upset," he says suddenly.

I snap my head to him and look around the room. Brittany isn't in it. She must have slipped out in my mission to pretend like this wasn't a completely awkward situation by watching whatever was on TV.

His lips are _so_ huge. "Listen, Trouty, I'm really not in the mood to be hit on by you, so could you please just take your guppy lips somewhere else?" I huff and turn to watch the TV again, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Whoa," Sam exclaims. "I was just trying to help," he says defensively. He gets up to leave. He_ is_ Brittany's brother and being Brittany's brother means that he shares some DNA with her meaning he also looks like a kicked puppy when sad.

That's just not fair.

I roll my eyes and call out to him "Sam, wait." He stops in the entrance of the living room. "I'm sorry, you didn't do anything wrong."

He crosses his arms across his chest and nods his head. I nod back to his chair and he comes back in to sit down.

"So, what are we watching," he asks as he gets comfortable in his chair.

"I have no idea," I say back. "I think it's something about people and swamps. It's disgusting."

"Swamp People! This is my favorite show," Sam exclaims. Then a moment later, "so what's up with you and Britt?" he asks.

"What do you mean?" I turn my head to look at him again.

"You guys both seem, I don't know," he shrugs.

"Nothing is up," I shrug and look back to the TV.

Sam laughs, "so something is _really_ wrong then."

I shoot him a glare. "I just said nothing was wrong."

"Exactly." He smirks.

"What the hell does that mean?" I start getting defensive.

"You women always say nothing is wrong when something is wrong." I narrow my eyes at him. "Look, whatever it is, just talk to her about it. Brittany is probably one of the most understanding people on this planet."

I sit there for a while after he says this, not wanting to move, but at the same time wanting to go talk to Brittany.

Eventually I get up off the couch and make my way up to Brittany's bedroom. I open the door to her room just as she is stepping out. She just brushes past me and heads straight for the bathroom before I can say anything to her.

I put on my sweatpants and a t-shirt. I sink down on the mattress and throw my head into my hands.

What is wrong with me?

I pull the sheets back on the bed and crawl under the blankets. I pull them up so they are resting just below my nose.

When Brittany finally comes back and gets into bed I can feel her eyes burning into the back of my head.

I hate this.

I hate that I disappointed her.

I hate that I can't talk to anyone about how I actually feel.

"Did I do something wrong?" Brittany finally says from behind me.

"What?" Why would she think- "why would you say that?" _I_ did something wrong_. I'm_ the one who ruined the moment.

"Well, you haven't looked at me since the park. Since you kissed-"

"Britt," I breathe. "No, you didn't do anything." I say and turn over to face her, Sam's advice playing in the back of my mind. "I just- I'm sorry okay?" She nods. "This," I motion to her and me, "it's all new to me. Its kinda freaking me out."

"It's new to me too. Feeling like _this_ about someone." She grabs one of my hands in hers. "All I know is that I think you are amazing." I tuck my chin to my chest and feel my face heating up. "And if you don't want to, we don't have to define anything, yet." I smile a little at that.

One, because she said that I was amazing.

Two, because she isn't pushing me to define anything.

And three, because she said _yet_.

Maybe Brittany _does _feel the same way I do.

Brittany reaches up a little and cups my cheek in her hand. "You're the amazing one," I breathe.

She shakes her head a little, "no, it's definitely you." And she boops my nose with the tip of her finger. I wrinkle my nose at her.

"Let's just agree to disagree."

"Fine," she pouts.

"No, don't pout. It's heartbreaking." She just pushes her lower lip out even further. "Please, I'll do anything," I beg because seeing Brittany sad is literally the worst thing ever and I've already had to live the past few hours seeing her upset.

"Why don't you make it go away?" She smirks at me.

"And how would I do that?" I feign innocence.

Her smirk only grows. She moves just a bit closer to me, until her lips are just centimeters away from mine. And she is still wearing that damn pout. "I'm sure you can think of something...," she says in the most innocent voice.

I narrow my eyes in thought. "Nope," I shrug my shoulders, "can't think of anything."

I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her so bad.

Brittany puffs out her lip more and it literally takes everything in me not to lean forward and kiss it away from her face. "You are such a tease." I say.

"Maybe," she shrugs, leaning closer to my ear, "but will you please just kiss me?" Her warm breath tickles my skin and sends a shiver right down my spine.

Brittany pulls back a little and I just stare at her with my mouth hanging open. It's so embarrassing the effect she has on me. "Fuck," I breathe.

I reach up and grab her face in my hands. I pull her into me until our lips meet. Brittany sighs into my mouth. I run my tongue over Brittany's bottom lip, silently begging for entrance. She opens her mouth almost immediately.

My hands run down to her neck so I can pull her deeper into me. She responds by pushing her body into me pushing our chests together. With ever stoke of her tongue against mine I feel something pull deep in my stomach. Brittany starts kissing me harder and more desperately. One of her hands slides down my stomach. She lifts up my shirt a little and places her palm flat against my skin.

That feeling in my stomach grows as the warmth of her hand spreads across my body and between my legs. I let out a soft hum into her mouth. Brittany rolls over onto her back and pulls me on top of her. My mind is racing with a million thoughts, but I can't concentrate on a single one of them. Not when Brittany is underneath me. Not when I can feel her hot breath mixing with my own. And definitely not when I feel her hands creeping back under my shirt.

Her hands are so soft and warm. She lets her fingers tickle up the sides of my ribs. I smile into the kiss and let out a light chuckle, but Brittany doesn't stop. She keeps lightly tracing her fingers up and down my sides. I laugh again and pull back a little to look down at her.

She is wearing a smile too.

"What?" She asks innocently, her eyes shining bright.

I shake my head at her and smile. "Nothing." I rest my forehead against hers, rolling it back and forth.

I lay my head down on her chest. I can hear the beating of her heart. It sounds just as crazy as mine feels right now. I lightly trace up and down Brittany's arm, starting at her shoulder, moving down to her wrist and then back up.

Her breathing evens out and her heart rate calms itself.

"Santana?" I feel her voice vibrate through her chest and into my ear.

"Hmm?" I hum back.

It's quiet for a while and I wonder if maybe I was just imagining Brittany's voice.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." I say. But Brittany is still not saying anything. "Britt?" I lift myself up a little and I look down at her. She has her eyes closed and she is biting her lower lip. "Hey," I cup her cheek in my hand. She nuzzles into my touch, but doesn't open her eyes. "Talk to me," I say gently.

I inwardly laugh at myself because I was so scared of talking to _her _earlier and now I am telling her to talk to me.

"I just- I don't want you to get mad at me."

That kind of makes my heart sink a little in my chest because I don't want Brittany to think that she can't talk to me about something.

"Why would I be mad at you?"

Her eyes are darting back and forth between mine, like she is searching for something. She takes a deep breath before she speaks. "I really like you Santana."

I pause because I don't understand. "I sure hope you like me, otherwise thins would be a little weird. Don't cha think?" I smile at her, but she doesn't smile back. "Britt, I don't get it. Is that a bad thing? That you like me?" I feel the smile disappear from my face the longer she doesn't speak.

"No- no, it's not. It's- I've never... felt like this about someone before." She looks to her side.

I completely understand what she means. I've never felt like this with anyone. I mean there was Puck, but that was just sex. Sex that didn't even feel that good.

It was probably because I didn't really want to. Now I know _why _I didn't want to, but that's a few years after the fact.

So, yeah, I understand, but what I don't understand is why that would make me mad.

"Why would that make me mad?" I say softly.

"I don't know," she shrugs. "Maybe because earlier you didn't talk to me when I tried to talk to you."

"I'm _really_ sorry about that. I don't usually talk about things. With _anyone._ I guess I just freaked out a little." Brittany nods in understanding. "And I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you." I say honestly.

"Okay," she says. Her face finally turns up. "So, it's okay then, that I like you?"

I smile at her and lean down to place a soft kiss on her lips. "It's most definitely okay." Now Brittany is smiling. "And I really like you too."

* * *

I got really excited when I was editing this and Pink came on shuffle. Probably more exited than I should have, but whatever.

Thanks For Reading! I hope you enjoyed it.

And thanks again for all the kind words :)

Please review if you have time


	7. Chapter 7

As I stand outside the doors of WHMS, I get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's as if everything I hated about high school, and about myself, resurface. Although I was popular in high school, I still hated it.

I hated all the pretending that came with the popularity. I hated pretending to like everyone. I hated that I had to always go to stupid parties. I hated that I couldn't just come to school and leave right afterwards. Quinn had forced me to join Cheerios with her freshmen year. I didn't want to, but she said it was necessary if we wanted to be popular. I didn't want that either, but when you're young, you do things for other people, not for yourself.

When I step through those doors I notice my demeanor changing. My head is higher, my back is straighter and my walls are up. It's like those doors where a time machine that sent me back into the past.

All I want to do is find Shelby and get the hell out of here.

I stop by the main office and ask where her room is and they point me in the right direction.

Subconsciously I find myself walking down an all too familiar hallway towards a destination that is not Shelby's room. It's out of the way, but it is almost as if I don't have control over the direction my body is walking.

I walked into this room so many times before.

As I enter the old choir room, I get flooded with a sense of nostalgia. The walls are the same, the chairs are the same, the piano sitting in the middle of the room is still the same one and the feeling of being home is still the same, but there is also an ache that settles into my stomach knowing how I left this part of my life behind.

I notice a familiar face standing toward the back of the room. He has a stack of sheet music in his hands, rifling through them with a sense of purpose.

"Finn?" I say stepping further into the room.

He spins around really fast wearing his mouth slightly agape, just like it always is.

"Holy shit!" He spits out, putting the stacks of paper back down on the closest chair. "Santana?" Before I know it, I am being crushed in his embrace. "What?- why?- oh my god. It's good to see you."

"You too," I say when he finally releases me.

"How have you been?" He takes a step back from me.

"I've been good." I nod, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and smoothing out my shirt. "What about you? Torturing yourself by spending more time in high school than necessary?"

He laughs a little. I never particularly liked Finn, but it is good to see a familiar face again. "Uh- yeah. Actually, I am the director of the Glee Club now," he says scratching the back of his neck.

"Oh, cool," I say to him. "What happened to Shue?"

"He and Emma moved to Washington like a year ago." So, I guess they finally got married. "Why are you here?" He asks me.

"I'm actually just here to give something to Mrs. Corcoran. Then I'm heading back home."

"Sweet," he turns to the room. "Feels like just yesterday we were all sitting in here together. Sometimes I miss those days." He turns back around to face me.

"Yeah, sadly I know what you mean. A lot of good things happened in this stupid choir room." My mind goes back to all the practices in here. All the times Quinn and I sat in the back row pretending to be having the worst time of our lives, which actually turned out to be some of the best. I think about all the senseless backstabbing that took place in here and the kids that hated each other, but eventually turned into real friends.

"Yeah, hey, have you heard from Rachel?" Finn asks.

"Um yeah actually, we're sort of friends now. I live with Quinn and she lives pretty close to us."

"H-how is she?" He asks carefully.

"She's good." I say nodding my head. "Still trying to get on Broadway."

He lets out a laugh, "yeah, that was always sort of her thing. Could you tell her I said hey?"

"Absolutely," I walk over to Finn and wrap my arms around him. "Good to see you Finn. Take care, okay?"

"You too." He says and squeezes me a little. "You should totally come and check out one of our competitions sometime."

Actually that sounds pretty cool. Maybe I could bring Brittany to one of them. I nod my head and pull away.

"See ya around."

/

I walk into the room and see that Shelby is already standing by her desk. Seeing her changes something inside of me. I feel this anger building up. Everyone thinks that Quinn 'willingly' gave up Beth for adoption, but I know better. I know that her parents manipulated her into thinking that giving her away was the only option and Quinn was so young, so she gave in.

I think if it was up to her, she would have kept Beth.

"Mrs. Corcoran?" I say clearing my throat.

She snaps her head up. "Santana?" She asks confused. "What? What are you doing here?"

"Just dropping something off," I extend my hand with the envelope in it for her to take. "It's from Quinn."

Shelby just stares at the envelope, not saying anything.

"You know, Quinn may have messed up in high school. She may have lost herself for a while, but she never stopped loving Beth. She would never admit to it because she is the strongest person I know, but she misses her daughter every day. Every fucking day. She just wants to see her, which is more than I can say about you and your daughter. You remember her right? Her name is Rachel?"

"Santana I-"

"No, you haven't called or spoken to her. Rachel is an amazing girl. She is your daughter." The words ring all too familiar in my head. Rachel doesn't want much from her mom. The only thing she ever wanted was to get to know her and to talk, something that some of us no longer have the option of doing. "I'm sorry. It's- just give that to Beth." I know that Shelby isn't a bad person. I know she is just trying to live her life, but I also know how much it hurts Quinn that she couldn't be the one to give her daughter the life she deserved.

I quickly turn on my heels and head out the door before she has time to say anything. I can feel my hands shaking with rage. I just hate that she won't let Quinn see her. I hate that she won't see Rachel. Mostly I hate that I can't see my mother. I shake my head and let out a breath of frustration as I walk back out into the chilly Ohio air.

When I get to my car, I climb in, slamming the door behind me.

"You alright?" Brittany asks.

"Uh- yeah, I'm fine," I say back to her. I'm not really, but I don't want to bring up that topic again. Brittany has been so understanding this weekend. I don't want to ruin the mood for the rest of the drive.

"Okay," Brittany says. She reaches over to my lap and grabs my hand. Our fingers lace together. "Ready to go back home?"

"Yeah, I can only handle so much of Lima at one time." I sigh. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself down, Brittany's thumb is smoothing over the back of my hand. I look down at our intertwined hands then back up to her face. "Brittany?" She looks at me and smiles softly. "Um," I think back to last night when I had my mini panic attack. "I don't want you to be afraid to talk to me. This is new to both of us and its confusing enough without knowing what the other person is thinking."

"Okay," she smiles at me.

"I don't exactly know how to define what we are, or if I'm even ready for that yet," I speak honestly, "but please don't think that's because I don't want you. I do want you. So, so much."

"Yeah?" She smiles shyly.

"Yeah," I breathe out.

"Well, I would never push you into anything you aren't ready for, but I want you to know that when you're ready, so am I." Brittany leans across the seat to plant a sweet kiss to my cheek, then pulls me into a hug.

I sigh into her shoulder.

Brittany kisses my neck softly and I close my eyes at the feeling. I don't think I will ever get used to the way she makes me feel. "Wait," she says suddenly. "I have something to ask you."

I pull back from her embrace. "What?"

"Okay, so I was thinking about this all night last night. I think I even had a dream about it because I was thinking about it so much." I smile at her nervous rambling. "Anyway, um..." Brittany looks down to the floor. "Can I," she swallows, "can I take you out to dinner?"

I stare back at her with wide eyes and a smile pulling at my lips. "Like on a date?" I ask.

"It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be. I- I-"

"I would love to," I cut her off.

Brittany finds my eyes again and her face turns up into a huge smile. "Cool," she says as calmly as she can nodding her head up and down.

"Cool," I say back and stick my tongue out at her.

/

"I spy with my _beautiful _blue eyes... something... red." Brittany leans back into her chair with her arms folded across her chest and a smug look plastered across her face.

We have been playing eye spy for the past twenty minutes and she is kicking my ass.

It's not fair.

"My phone case?" I try.

"Ehhh," she makes a buzzing sound, "wrong."

I roll my eyes at her playfully and take a look around outside for something it might be. "A stop sign?"

"Nope." She smirks.

"Um... Uh... There isn't anything else that's red in here!"

"Yes there is," she smiles complacently to herself.

I let out a frustrated groan. "Brittany," I whine.

"Think, Santana, think." She says.

"My blood?" I try again.

"Closer," she coaxes.

Closer?

To my blood?

I tap my chin with my index finger trying to figure this out, but I can't come up with anything. "Fuck! I don't know!" I give up.

"Fine." She sighs, "You are so bad at this game. It's the veins in your eyes." She says as though that should have been my first guess.

I look over to her and narrow my eyes. "Really, Brittany?"

"What?" She says defensively.

"I can't see the veins in my eyes."

"You never said that you had to see them."

"Fine," I say, jutting out my lower lip.

"You're just mad because you are losing." She says matter of factly.

"Well it's not my fault you're some secret eye spy genius."

"I guess it's not, but can we stop to get something to eat now?" Brittany asks while grabbing her stomach.

I look to the clock on the dashboard. It's almost noon. "Sure."

We decide on getting sandwiches at the closest supermarket.

Since it's still pretty early and we are more than halfway back home, we decide to stop and eat at a park.

"So, how was your sister?" Brittany asks over a bite of her sandwich.

"She's good. Keeping my dad busy. I actually invited her to come stay with me a weekend this semester. My dad and I are going to split the cost of a plane ticket." I take a bite of my turkey sandwich.

"That was sweet of you," Brittany says.

"I'm just trying to make up for being such a bitch to them. I feel really terrible about not being there for her." I look over to Brittany. She has the softest look on her face. "I would love for you guys to meet too. She would get a kick out of you."

"Oh yeah?" She smiles.

"Yeah," I reply.

"What's her name again?" She asks.

"Maya."

"Maya," she repeats. "Not as pretty as Santana, but it's up there." I smile to myself at her complement, feeling those familiar butterflies find their way back to my stomach. "Hey, look." She points over to the pond where two ducks are swimming together. "Those love birds."

"They're cute."

"Not as cute as us though," she nudges my shoulder.

I stiffen up a little. "Y-yeah."

Brittany moves a little closer to me and slides her arm around my back. My heart rate picks up, not just because she is so close to me, but because she is so close to me _in public_. She pulls me into her side and I take a moment to look around the park. There are a few people here, a mother with her kids and a couple of teenagers down the way, none of which are looking at us. I relax into Brittany's embrace and lay my head down on her shoulder.

This is nice, being out in public with her so close to me. It's not even that scary. I thought people would be staring at us or something, like they would just know about us, but they don't.

I know that if we were in Ohio still, things would be different. I only ever actually known one other gay person. That was Kurt. Ohio isn't exactly Queer capital of the world. It's still a taboo thing there. Kurt had such a terrible time in high school. I wonder sometimes how he got through it.

I guess you just become used to the unwanted attention after a while.

I get the sudden urge to talk to Quinn. I _need_ to tell someone about how I feel about Brittany. I would tell Brittany, but that would be a little weird, gushing about my feelings for her, to her. Besides, I'm pretty sure she already knows.

There is just something about her that I can't get away from, not that I want to anyway. She makes me feel so good inside, like anything is possible. It's so refreshing.

When I turn my head a little to look at Brittany, that's all it takes for the butterflies to take off again in my stomach. I never thought that I would get this feeling.

We all here those stories from our friends about how so and so made their heart race and I never understood it. I just thought they were making it up, but now I know it was just because it wasn't the right person.

If I'm being completely honest, I did feel something for one other girl. Her name was Sarah. She was my first serious girl crush.

At a party one night, she got drunk and kissed me while I was talking to her on the couch.

I guess it made my heart race because I had never kissed another girl before. That was when I realized that I might be gay because I just remember thinking about it _all_ the time. I would stare at her in class replaying the moment over and over in my head. All I could think about was how different it felt with her compared to the guys I have kissed. Well, she didn't remember the kiss, or if she did she never said anything about it.

Thinking about it always made my heart jump.

That feeling is nothing compared to how Brittany makes me feel though.

Nothing.

Brittany makes my heart stop and take off at the same time. I feel like I have to hold my breath around her because I'm afraid my breathing will make me miss something important. That's until I realize that if I don't breathe I will die.

/

"So, how bout Friday night?"

We have been back on the road for about an hour now. It has been so quiet. It's been comforting just sitting in each other's company and enjoying the scenery, even if it's mostly just farmland.

"Santana?"

"Hmm?- Friday? Friday for what?" I ask a little out of it. It's been a long morning and my eyes are heavy.

"For our date." Oh right. Our date. I smile to myself at the thought of going out on an actual date with Brittany. A candle lit dinner, flowers, and oh shit. I hate dates. I've always hated dates.

I hate the cheesy romantic gestures that people always do. It's so cheap, but then why am I excited?

_Brittany._

Brittany is why I'm excited.

Brittany has opened my eyes and my heart to things I never thought would be possible for me. She does things to me. She is turning me into some romantic sap that will get all nervous over a simple date and flail in my bedroom when I get home.

"Earth to Santana." She says and waves her hand in front of my face.

"Friday," I smile again despite myself, "would be perfect."

"Great!" Brittany exclaims. "Seven o' clock. I'll pick you up."

/

I fall through the door when I enter my apartment. My bag drops to the floor immediately and I let out a loud sigh.

I just want to get to bed.

But I also really want to talk to Quinn.

"Quinn?" I yell. She is nowhere to be seen. I thought maybe she would want to talk about the whole Beth thing. "Quinn?" I try again.

I walk through the kitchen and into the hallway towards Quinn's bedroom. I open the door hoping that she is in there, but she isn't. I sigh to myself before walking back out into the living room. I plop down on the couch and flip on the TV. I have no real desire to watch anything. I just want to wait till Quinn gets home so I can talk to her.

A few minutes later I hear her keys jingle in the door. I sit up on the couch anxiously, my hands suddenly becoming sweaty. I rub them back and forth nervously against my jeans.

"Hey," Quinn says when she enters the apartment. She turns to throw her keys in the bowl by the door and hangs up her jacket on the coat rack. "When did you get back?" She asks.

I clear my throat before I talk, my throat suddenly becoming drier than it ever has been before. I decide maybe I should start by telling her how it went with Shelby, that's easier. "So, Shelby is still a cold bitch." I laugh uneasily from the couch.

Quinn lets out a laugh. "Yeah," she breathes.

"Actually she didn't really get a chance to talk because I kind of didn't let her, but I_ did_ give her a piece of my mind for you."

"You're the best, Santana. I love you." She comes and sits next to me on the couch. "Thank you so much for giving her that letter. I just don't think I could ever be in the same room with her without doing something stupid."

I nod my head, "yeah, I know what you mean." I say remembering the rage that I felt earlier. It's not like Shelby is a bad woman or anything, the whole situation is just a mess. I can actually understand both sides though, but Quinn is my best friend. I have to be on her side by default.

Quinn sits back on the couch. "How is Brittany's mom?"

"She's good. She is _just _like Brittany." My face lightens up at the mention of her name. "She is coming home tomorrow, I think."

Quinn nods her head. "And your dad?" She asks carefully.

"It was hard to see them again. I felt terrible about being away for so long, but it was nice. Maya is coming to stay with us for a weekend sometime. Is that okay?"

"Hell yeah! I love that little kid." She says excitedly.

"Well, she's not so little anymore. She's like a mini me." I smile.

My mind turns to Brittany. As I think about everything that happened this weekend a smile creeps across my face. The kiss. The way she held me so many times. Our talk. The date that's coming up. It's too overwhelming.

"Why are you smiling like that? It's kinda freaking me out." Quinn's voice echoes through my mind.

I want to tell her. I have to, or I might explode with happiness.

I slowly turn my head so I can meet Quinn's eyes. "I need to tell you something, Quinn." I'm surprised how quickly the smile fades from my face. It's replaced by paralyzing fear.

"Okay," she says slowly.

I start nervously running my hands up and down my legs again. This is too hard. I have never said those words out loud, not even to myself. It makes it so real. Am I even ready for it to be real yet?

"San, please. You're scaring me." Quinn says grabbing one of my hands.

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Quinn, I- I'm-" I stop and swallow hard. Quinn's eyes are darting back and forth between mine. I close my eyes and with one breath I breathe out, "I'm gay."

I squeeze my eyes shut.

That's it.

No turning back now.

It's out there.

She knows.

I wait.

_Silence._

It's the piercing type of silence. The kind of silence that slices through your soul and the longer it lasts the more I fear opening my eyes. What feels like an eternity, is only a couple of seconds.

I slowly open my eyes to look at her and I am shocked at what I see.

She is smiling at me.

The biggest smile I have ever seen on her face.

Quinn lunges forward and wraps me into a huge hug.

Now I'm the one who's confused.

"I knew it!" She squeals.

Wait, what? "You knew what?" I ask confused.

"That you were gay!" She exclaims. "I knew it!"

"Um... How?"

She lets me go and sits back again. "I would always try to get you to talk about it. I knew there was nothing between you and Brian. I thought maybe you would eventually tell me if I bugged you enough about it, but you're just about the most stubborn person I have ever met, so that didn't really work." she squeals. I let out a nervous laugh. "And you are always checking out girls." She adds.

"I was that obvious?!" I say mortified at my apparently obvious gawking. "Ugh!" I bury my head in my hands. "You're okay with this? It doesn't freak you out or anything?" I ask, suddenly getting panicky.

"Why would it freak me out? I mean now I will have to lock my door at night because you might sneak in and make out with me, but I guess I will just have to live with that."

"You're an ass Quinn!" I say and smack her with a pillow.

"No, but seriously. Santana, I'm really proud of you. This can't be easy for you."

I lower my head and stare down at my hands. "I- it's not. I mean, I've tried to deny it for so long. I don't know. It actually felt really good to say it out loud."

Quinn nods her head in understanding. She knows what it's like to have to keep something a secret. When she got pregnant at sixteen, she was so afraid of telling anyone because of what they would think about her.

Quinn didn't really have the option to keep it a secret though. People could just look at her and they would know. They would judge her before they even heard her story. It became what defined her for a really long time.

I guess that's why I didn't want to come out. I don't want people thinking they know all about me before they even have the opportunity to really know me. I didn't want me being gay to be the only thing people knew about me.

But Quinn's reaction is really the only one I cared about anyway. My family's opinion means a lot to. I guess I'm going to have to deal with _that_ eventually, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

Brittany is also important, but that's pretty obvious.

I can feel the grin sneak its way across my face again. God, even when she isn't here, she has me wrapped around her finger.

"Who's the lucky lady?" Quinn pipes from next to me.

"W-what?"

"Oh come on Santana, I know that look. I used to get that look when I thought about Puck. So, spill."

I don't know how she does this. Should I tell her its Brittany? I decide that I have to. I have wanted to tell her, _someone_, about this for what seems like forever now.

"Um...it's- It's Brittany." I say quietly.

"That's two for two for Quinn!" Quinn practically yells at me.

"I-," I stare at her with my mouth agape.

Quinn answers me before I have time to question her again. "I'm your best friend. I know things." She states.

"Quinn!" I shout. I shake my head. "Why didn't you say anything?!" I exclaim.

"Yeah, because you wouldn't have dented it." She says sarcastically. "I knew you would tell me when you were ready." She says more seriously. "And plus, It was always fun torturing you about Brian. You always got so agitated."

I give her an evil glare. "You jerk! Ugh! I wanted to kill you everyone you brought him up." Seriously I hated it.

"Sorry," she shrugs her shoulders. "So, have you guys done anything yet?" She clasps her hands together in front of her face.

I smile at Quinn's excitement. I don't understand why she's so excited, there is nothing to be excited about.

"We- she kissed me." I finally say.

Look, I may be a cold-hearted bitch most of the time, but I am still human. I need to talk to someone about this because I have almost exploded with so much happiness lately. I need to get it out.

Quinn squeals again and if she doesn't stop doing that I am going to slap her.

"Aww, that's adorable." She gushes. "Okay, so are you guys a thing? Or?"

"I don't know, Quinn," I sigh. We're not really anything. We're not dating. She's not my girlfriend. "I don't think I'm ready for that yet. It's too scary."

"Santana," Quinn says sympathetically, "do you want to be with her?" I nod because I do. I really do. This is just so new and frightening. "She makes you happy. I see the difference in you when she is around."

Brittany does make me happy. The happiest actually.

"She told me she wouldn't push me into anything I wasn't ready for. And we have a date Friday night." My face actually feels like it's going to fall off right now from smiling so much.

"A date?" She wiggles her eyebrows.

"Well, it's just dinner." I say and look down to my lap a little embarrassed though I don't really know why.

Quinn gets that weird look on her face again, the one that makes me want to slap her, but before I have the opportunity, Quinn leans in and gives me another hug. "You deserve to be happy, Santana." I have to swallow the lump that forms in my throat.

I can't help the tears that suddenly slip from my eyes. I can't help it because I'm so overwhelmed right now. I just came out to my best friend. The same best friend that I thought would ruin me if she ever found out about this in high school.

I have spent so much time trying to push this feeling away, to stop myself from experiencing true happiness because I was so damn afraid.

I wrap my arms tighter around Quinn, needing something to calm me down. I bury my face further into her. "Quinn, you- thank you for being okay with this." I let out muffled into her shirt.

Quinn rubs her hands up and down my back, trying to calm me down. "Santana, I would love you no matter what," she says pushing me back a little so she can look at my face. "You are my best friend. Besides, you did the same for me when I found out I was pregnant. You gave me a place to stay when my parents kicked me out. You listened to all my sob stories about Beth all these years and you've helped me time and time again when I thought I couldn't go on, when I went down that path of self-destruction. You are always there for me, Santana and I will always be here for you too."

I let out a strangled cry at Quinn's words. She pulls me back into a hug, "You're going to be okay," she says into the top of my head.

/

"I can't believe you knew." I shake my head in disbelief.

Quinn and I have been sitting in the kitchen for the past hour talking about everything that happened over the past few days.

"You really need to be more careful with your leering, Santana."

"I don't leer!" I say defensively.

"Yes, you do. I'm surprised that I didn't know you liked Brittany sooner with the way you are always 'secretly' checking her out." She puts air quotes around secretly.

"Ugh," I groan.

Quinn laughs at my response, but then she turns serious. "So, does your dad know?" She asks.

I shake my head. "No, you are the first person I said it out loud to."

"You didn't even tell Brittany?" She asks.

"We'll, I'm sure Brittany knows," I give her a pointed look, "but no, I haven officially told anyone besides you."

Quinn puts her hand over her heart. "Wow." She breathes.

"Yeah."

"So when did you know you liked Brittany?" Quinn asks with a huge grin.

I smile too because just her name makes me happy.

"Well, when I first saw her, she pushed me into a door, so I was kind of mad, but nowhere near how mad I would have been if it was someone else. I think it was her eyes that caught me off guard or something."

"So, she ran into you? Before you even met?"

"Yeah, while I was going to the bathroom."

"Okay, go on." Quinn clasps her hands together and holds them at her chest.

"When I came over to help move her stuff into her room, her dad called and was talking to her about her mom. She started to cry and when she got off the phone I didn't know what to do. You know me and feelings don't mix."

"Ain't that the truth." Quinn sighs.

I shoot her a glare and she shuts up.

"Anyway, so I tried to comfort her. It turned into me just wanting to kiss her."

"After you just met?" She asks with her eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, well you interrupted our moment, so,"

"I had a feeling," Quinn says mostly to herself.

"Liar. You just told me you didn't know I liked her yet." I say but I'm still smiling like crazy. It's nice to talk to someone about all of this.

"That was one of those moments though, that you look back on and just know. You know?"

I go on with my story and tell Quinn about everything that happened over the weekend.

"Sounds like you really like her."

"I do. She is so sweet. I just don't know if I'm ready for a relationship." I shrug my shoulders.

"I understand. Is it because you are afraid of what other people will say?"

"No- I mean, that's scary too and everything, but as long as the people I care about are okay with it, then so am I."

"So then what's keeping you from dating Brittany?"

"I'm afraid I'm going to hurt her." I say in a small voice. "I don't want to hurt her. Ever. You know how stupid I get when I'm scared. And I don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to dating."

"No, you don't," she laughs, "but I do know that when you really care about someone, you will make sure nothing hurts them." Quinn reaches across the table and grabs one of my hands in hers. "Santana, I've been your friend for years and, aside from our fiasco in high school, you have never hurt me. You even stick up for _Rachel_, and that says a lot about how much you care about your friends."

I pull a tight-lipped smile, my eyes welling up with tears again. It just means so much to me that Quinn is okay with everything.

I start getting choked up again, so I try to divert the subject away from me. "So, what happened to you and Puck?" I ask getting up to pour myself a cup of coffee. I'm still so tired from all the driving.

Quinn shrugs. "I thought a lot about what you said. Puck is a great guy. He really is, but he's better when we are just friends."

"Look at us. Growing up and moving on." I say to Quinn. A smile spreads across her face.

/

It's been less than a day since I've seen Brittany and I feel like one of those girls in those stupid romantic comedies who can't get enough of their boyfriends and end up spending every second thinking about them.

I'm allowed to think of Brittany like that though because she is just that awesome.

My phone vibrates in my pocket.

I smile because I know exactly who it is.

**Britt: San, help!**

**_Help what?_**

**Britt: Rachel has been singing Don't Rain on my Parade for the past hour. I am losing my mind! S.O.S**

I heard that song so much in glee club I could probably sing it backwards.

**_Tell her there are a group of lonely old folks down the road and they need some cheering up._**

One minute later...

**Britt: Wow, she's gone. Peace and quiet. Thanks :)**

**_No problem ;)_**

**Britt: B)**

I stare at my phone for a moment before I reply.

**_What the hell is that?!_**

**Britt: It's a cool face. I thought we were doing faces now.**

**_Oh, lol._**

It takes a few minutes before I get another reply.

**Britt: A drowning person! Nice one Santana. I can't think of anymore. You win... This time.**

I let out a loud laugh. Brittany's mind always comes up with the most interesting things.

**_I gotta get to class. I'll see you soon ;)_**

**Britt: Have fun! See you for our ****_date _****Friday :(**

I don't even have time to read the full message before my phone vibrates again.

**Britt: I MEANT :)**

I smile and put the phone in my pocket before walking into the lecture hall for class.

This is probably one of the most boring classes I have ever taken and its mostly because my professor is ancient. He also speaks in a monotone voice, which doesn't really help anything.

I am sitting in my biology class, alone in the very back row because I really don't want to be here today. I never really do, but today I just want to get out of here.

I am sitting there waiting for class to start when I see someone out of the corner of my eye come and sit by me. I turn to my right and see that its Brian.

"Hey Santana," Brian greets me, while throwing his stuff into the seat in front of him.

I greet him back with a short hi while writing something in my notebook to try and make it seem like I was busy.

"Can I talk to you?" he says completely ignoring my attempt to look busy, or just not caring.

I inwardly sigh and turn my body to face him.

"What?"

"What has been up with you lately?" he says sharply.

"Did you come over here just to grill me?" I spit out.

Ever since he tried to kiss me I have been really on edge around him.

"No," he smiles, "I just came over here to ask if you wanted to go to a party on Friday night?"

"Brian,"

"Look," he cuts me off, "I was a jerk the other night and I'm sorry. I just want to make it up to you." He looks at me with hopeful eyes.

"I have plans Friday night," I tell him.

His body deflates a little. "What about another night? Can I take you out another night?" he tries.

"Brian, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why?" he asks.

"We're friends."

"And," he says.

"And that's how it's gotta stay." I say. I am tired of beating around the bush with him.

"Oh," he lowers his head. "Okay, that's fine. I- uh, I'll see you around," he says before getting up and walking out of class.

Those kinds of talks are never fun, but sometimes they need to happen.

I let out a loud sigh and sink back into my seat.

Can it be Friday yet?

* * *

**Okay, so i meant to get this up two days ago. I blame it on all the feels I got from Thursday night. **

**Do you guys like the pace of the story so far? Sometimes I feel like its going too fast and other times I feel like it's not fast enough. I have a few different directions I am thinking of taking this story. **

**Thanks again for reading :)**

**Let me know what you think.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry about the delay with this. It was finals week and you know how that goes.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

A watched pot never boils.

That's what they tell you.

The more you want something to happen, the slower it takes and I can completely attest to that. I've been staring at this pot of water for _at least_ ten minutes and nothing, not even the tiny little bubbles at the bottom have formed.

I have my head resting in my hand as I lean up against the counter by the stove. I can hear Quinn rustling around behind me and Rachel blubbering on about something from the other room.

_Does she ever shut up?_

Why isn't it Friday?

Quinn walks up behind me. She looks from me, to the pot, and then back to me. She rolls her eyes and reaches forward to turn on the burner. "See, you would die without me."

Of course.

I grab the stool that I drug over here a few minutes ago, but have yet to use, and plop down on it. I _always_ forget to turn on the burner. What curse do I have that make me _always _forget to turn on the burner? I slump forward, dropping my head against the counter repeatedly.

"Rachel, for the love of everything and anything holy please shut your pie hole!" I snap.

I got home really late last night, so I didn't get much sleep. Not to mention the fact that I started thinking about my date with Brittany (again) and then I got super nervous, thus adding to my inability to fall asleep.

My eyes hurt. My back hurts. And now, thanks to Berry, my head hurts.

"Santana," Quinn hisses.

"No," I say, "she has her own apartment, that's far away from me, where she can sing all day and night if she wants to," I turn to face Rachel who has stopped singing for the moment, "but you come here. Why?" I plea. "What did I do? Is this about the fish? I can buy you a new one, just please, I can take it anymore."

"You're apartment has better acoustics. Listen," Rachel takes a deep breath like she is going to sing again.

I turn to Quinn with a pleading look, "Will you please control her?" I beg.

"I can't control her any more than you can," she whispers back. "Oh, and you better get ready to go." She points at Rachel, who is now gathering her things. "Just wait for it," she adds when she sees my confused expression.

"Actually, now that you mention it, I do miss Finn."

(Yeah, she named her fish after her ex-boyfriend.)

"We are still talking about the fish right?" I ask.

"Yes, Santana. Give me some credit here, I haven't talked about him in forever." She says while grabbing her purse and jacket.

"What are you doing?"

"We," she motions in between us, "are going to get a fish."

"Can't I just, like, give you the money?" I sigh.

"No, I need you there," Rachel grabs my jacket from the back of the couch and holds it out to me to take.

I snatch it from her grasp, "can't Quinn go with you?"

"I'm not the one who killed her fish," Quinn says defensively.

"Come with us then?" I try.

"No."

"Please?"

"Okay."

"Really?"

"No."

"Bitch."

"Love you too."

I sigh and drag my body from the kitchen and into the hallway to put my shoes on. Why do I always make a bad situation worse? Now I have to be alone with Rachel.

/

"Rachel, just pick one." I complain.

We have been here for over an hour looking at fish. Actually, scratch that, we have been looking at fish for about ten minutes because the fish are in the back of the store, you need to pass by everything else first and Rachel has stopped to look at every single animal, lizard, bird, even spider, in the place.

Rachel shakes her head at me, "just pick one?" she laughs, "listen to yourself."

"Hey, how about this one?" I point to one in the tank. It has big spikes sticking out from every direction on its body. "It's obnoxious just like you."

"No, this one needs to be special. What do you think of this little guy?" She points to a small orange fish toward the back of the tank that's swaying from side to side.

"I think if you get that one, we will have to come back in two days for a new fish cause that one will be dead."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Oh- there it goes," the fish turns belly up and floats to the surface. "May he-"

"Or she-"

"Rest in peace." She finishes. I turn to start walking down the aisle to look at all the other fish, but before I can even take a step, Rachel grabs my arm. "Uh, where do you think you are going?" she asks.

"To look at the other fish?"

"Show some respect, Santana. Lives were lost today." She bows her head.

Is she serious right now?

Rachel peeks at me with one eye and slaps my arm.

I roll my eyes, but bow my head with her.

"Dearly beloveds, we are gathered here today to-"

"Are we marrying fish? Cause I don't think you're qualified for that."

"Excuse me, would you like to speak?" I shake my head, "then please be quiet."

I put my hands up in defense, "fine."

Rachel clears her throat and continues. "Dearly beloveds, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of, what could have been, Finn Jr. It was a short life, but a happy one, and though he-"

"or she"

"or she, was never adopted from this Pet Palace, he will be adopted into a better place."

I look over to Rachel as she finishes her-whatever that was, she is smiling to herself.

"Can we get back to business here?"

After another half hour of 'fishing', Rachel finally picks one.

She literally looks like a kid the with her obnoxious smile plastered across her face and her pig tails and puffy orange jacket, bouncing down the street like a crazy person. I try and keep a good five feet between us at all times, so people don't realize that we know each other, but as soon as I think I'm safe, she's right there.

"So," I clear my throat, "where's Brittany?" I try as best I can to make the question sound as casual as I can, hopefully not alluding to the fact that I have been thinking about her almost every second since I dropped her off at her apartment on Monday.

"She is working on a project or something today. She left with all her camera equipment and said she wouldn't be back until tonight."

"Oh," I say nodding my head, "cool."

"Yep, I think her and Quinn are going to share that studio space her friend let her have, that way, they can split the rent or something."

Quinn was just telling me yesterday that she was afraid she wouldn't be able to afford the rent when this month was over. The person who had it before, one of Quinn's artsy friends, had paid three months' worth of rent in advance, not knowing whether or not they would be back to take it, but they ended up getting a job somewhere, so they said Quinn could take it.

"Speak of the devil," Rachel stops walking and grabs my arm.

I immediately retract my arm from her grasp. "Don't touch-"

"Hey, Santana," a familiar voice calls. I turn my body slightly and see Brittany walking toward us from across the street.

"Hey there, stranger." I greet her, my mood completely changing at just the sound of her voice.

Brittany smiles sweetly at me before turning to Rachel. I roll my eyes at myself for not thinking of a better greeting. "Do we have a new pet?" She asks.

"Yep, his name is Finn 2.0" Rachel beams.

"Rachel, no," I sigh. "Do not name your fish after Finn again."

"ha-ha… Finn again." Brittany laughs.

"Why not?" she pouts.

"Because it's pathetic," I say and grab the bag from her hands.

"It's not pathetic. It's the perfect name for a fish, they have fins," she tries to reason.

"Yeah, but its not appropriate when your ex's name is also Finn," I point out. "Tell her, Brittany."

"It's a little pathetic." She says carefully.

I smile at her then turn to Rachel, "see."

"You guys suck," Rachel takes her fish back.

"The truth hurts," I shrug.

"Hey, guys I gotta go," Brittany point over her shoulder. "See you tonight, Rachel." I briefly get extremely jealous of Rachel getting to see Brittany every day and sharing the same apartment with her, but then Brittany is addressing me. "Bye Santana," she steps closer and gives me a hug.

As Brittany is walking away, I feel Rachel staring at me.

"What Berry?" I slide my eyes over to her. She has an angry look on her face.

"Why does Brittany get to give you a hug?" she asks me with her arms folded across her chest.

"Because she's better than you?" I say.

I start walking down the side-walk. "But you're always nice to her," she says speeding up to catch up to me.

"So," I say a little annoyed.

"Why?"

"Why do you care?" I bite.

"Because it's just so weird."

"You're weird," I say under my breath, but she doesn't hear me.

"You've always got this weird faraway look when she's around and your face is all smiley."

"Rachel look! It's Barbra Streisand!" I try to divert her attention from the subject and, like always, it works.

Rachel whips her head around in every direction. "Where," she cries. "Santana, where?" she grabs onto my arm.

"Oh man," I laugh, "that never gets old."

"Dammit Santana," she huffs. "One of these days, you're going to say that and I'm not gonna look."

"And I will laugh even harder."

"And you're not even supposed to say her name, remember?"

"Why yes I do."

"I hate you."

"Likewise hobbit."

/

**Friday**

Yesterday was uneventful. I mean, I had class all day, that's always a blast, but it killed some time, so I'm thankful for that. I was so bored that I actually went into the admissions office and picked up a bunch of different brochure's for the different colleges here.

As it stands, my degree will be in Liberal Arts, which is fine with me, but it's just general education. I still don't have a clue as to what I am going to do after I graduate. I picked up a few career aptitude tests while I was in there to, so we will see how that goes.

I have never felt so lame in my whole life, it's my 'senior' year of college and I still don't have a clue.

After that I was just bored again. Bored and nervous, waiting for tonight. I keep telling myself that it's just a date. I have been on a countless number of dates in my life, none of them have been with Brittany, but a dates a date, right?

I mean the concept is the same: dinner, movie, this, that.

Maybe I'm so nervous because I don't know what to expect.

Brittany isn't just some guy. She isn't just trying to get into my pants, though I totally wouldn't mind if she was.

I get really excited and nervous and sick and scared when I think about her.

I have spent most of the day today pacing around the apartment and bugging Quinn, but she left about an hour ago, saying she needed to take care of a few things at her studio, so now I am on my own.

Eventually I make my way into the bathroom to get a shower. I try to take as much time as possible shampooing and conditioning my hair in hopes that I will kill enough time.

It was a pipe dream, I realize as I check the time on the clock. Still an hour and a half away from seven.

I may or may not have already picked out an outfit and I may or may not have begged Quinn help me do that Monday night after our talk.

We decided to go simple, after Brittany told me to dress casual, with the oh-so-reliable skinny jeans and grey t-shirt.

I get dressed and have my makeup and hair done in record time.

Quinn is sitting on the couch when I walk out if my bedroom. She is playing her Gameboy, what a surprise.

I plop down on the recliner and let out a loud sigh. She doesn't respond so I do it again.

And again.

And agai-

"What Santana," she says with her tongue hanging out in concentration, the noise from her tapping the buttons echoing across the room.

"What if she doesn't like me?" I throw my head back against the chair, sinking down into it.

"She likes you," Quinn says absent-mindedly, paying more attention to her game.

"What if people throw stones at us?"

"No one is going to stone you, Santana," she laughs lightly.

"You don't know that."

"I'm gonna stone you if you don't shut up. I know you deleted my game. I was almost a pokemaster."

"I was bored. And I didn't mean to delete it." Quinn ignores me and continues playing her game. "Quinn, I'm dying over here. I need some guidance from my fairy gay mother."

That gets her to look up from her video game. "Fairy gay mother?" She quirks an eyebrow.

"Yes, and I am going on my very first lady date. I need your expertise," I beg.

"Okay," she tosses her Gameboy to the side, "I'm not sure what you mean by that, but I do have a speech prepared." She clears her throat and turns so she is facing me, she looks me dead in the eyes. "You are a strong, independent woman. You don't need no man in your life."

"Thank you, Quinn. What would I do without you?"

I look at the time again and it's one minute till Brittany is supposed to be here.

Fuck.

I get up and start pacing the living room again, chewing on my fingernails in the process.

When the clock strikes seven, I hold my breath and just stare at the door.

What feels like ten minutes have passed, and still no Brittany, and I finally let out the breath I was holding.

"She forgot about me, Quinn," I start pacing again, "she stood me up. Oh, this is just perfect," I say shaking my hands in the air. "She probably realized that she can do better than me. I get all excited and she doesn't show-"

I suddenly feel a sharp pain across my face.

Quinn grabs my shoulders and starts shaking me, "get your shit together, woman. Brittany's not late and she didn't forget about you," she yells.

"How do you know?"

"Because it's only been one minute!" She motions to the clock that's sitting on the TV stand.

Huh...

Just then there is a soft knock on the door.

I feel like my heart is going to beat right out of my chest.

Quinn moves to go answer it, but I have a death grip on her wrist. "Santana, you have to let go," she states. I loosen my grip a little, but I don't release her. "Okay, look. You're going to be fine. You've known Brittany for like a month now and you guys hang out all the time, this is no different."

I nod my head, but I'm still not letting her go. Quinn sighs, but takes a deep breath. "Alright Lopez, grow some lady balls. Seriously, this is ridiculous. I thought you were from Lima Heights Adjacent. Or is that just a ploy to get people to fear you, when actually you are just a pansy ass?"

"I am from Lima Heights Adjacent," I say in a small voice.

"Then prove it," she pushes me towards the door and slaps my ass.

I take a brief moment to collect myself by smoothing out the front of my shirt. My hand is on the door handle and I take a deep breath before I open it.

On the other side stands a beautiful blonde, with a smile that could light up the world. She actually steals the breath from my lips.

Brittany is wearing a cotton white V-neck t-shirt with black skinny jeans and she looks like _this_? It's incredible.

I swallow thickly at the sight before me. "Uh-, hey," I manage to croak out.

"Hi," she beams. We just stand in the doorway for a few more minutes, taking in each other's appearance. "Well, shall we?" Brittany holds out her arm for me to take.

"Yeah, I just need to grab my jacket," I reach over to the coat rack and get my black jacket then loop my arm through Brittany's.

/

"Now, you're sure there isn't some secret drug cartel going on down here?" I look around the dimly lit restaurant again.

Brittany laughs at my question. "No, I wouldn't take you to a crack house on our first date," she assures me. "I would say that's probably a fourth or fifth date."

"A fourth or fifth date huh?" I ask. "And what makes you think you'll get that far? I still haven't decided if I like you or not."

Brittany's eyes brows shoot up, "well, I guess I'll just have to be extra charming tonight."

After the initial nerves wore off, I realized that Quinn was right, it's just like every other time Brittany and I have hung out. I started to relax and not be so twitchy.

It's still feels a little weird, especially openly flirting with Brittany, but I don't hate it and no one has thrown stones at us yet, so that's a plus.

"So, what's this place even called?" I ask over a bite of food.

I don't even think there was a sign or anything when we entered, its literally a whole in the wall.

_A drug cartel, if you will._

"Chang's. A friend of mine owns it."

"Does that mean we get free meals?"

"Sadly no. I exhausted all my free meals here in my first month of college. I was poor."

"College life doth put a dent in thine wallet," I agree.

This place is actually pretty nice. You wouldn't know that from the outside because its shady as fuck, but it has a very 'homey' feel to it and the food is really good. I can see why Brittany used up all her free meals so quickly.

"So, I told Quinn," I say about halfway through our meal. "That I'm gay," I add when she doesn't say anything. Brittany stops chewing her egg roll and smiles over to me. "But," I quickly add, getting nervous again, "I don't know if I'm ready to tell anyone else yet." I look over to Brittany, expecting to see disappointment written across her face, but there isn't.

"Santana," she says softly, "I know things aren't going to change overnight." I let out a breath of relief and relax into my chair again. "I'm not going to force you out of the closet, or anything."

"So, what about you?" I ask. "I mean are you even-?" I don't want to assume anything about her.

"Am I gay?" She asks. I nod. "You could say that," she shrugs.

"What does that mean?" I laugh.

"Uh- I'm...bisexual." She nervously fidgets with her hands.

"Oh," I breath and take a look around the restaurant again. I spot a male waiter. "So, that waiter there," I point, "you want to have sex with him?" I ask seriously. Brittany's eyes widen and she looks over her shoulder.

"Uh-,"

"Britt, I'm kidding." I laugh. She gives me a small smile, "I'm sorry. That was too much wasn't it? No, that's totally cool though."

"Really?" She asks with a hopeful glint in her eye.

"Yeah, I mean- yeah."

"Hmm, not quite the reaction I normally get from other women," she states, relaxing more.

"Ah, you see, I'm not other women," I point out.

"No, you're not," Brittany laughs. "Guys usually think it's cool and that I wanna have a threesome with them and another woman and women think I will end up leaving them for a guy."

"That's society for ya," I shake my head, "but, if you ask me? I say everyone is a little bit bisexual."

"Oh, yeah?" Brittany asks, intrigued.

"Well yeah, I mean, I think we all have exceptions, plus you know, the whole sexuality is fluid thing. I'm talking in terms of attraction, not necessarily who we would date. Like, I am ninety-nine point nine percent lesbian, but there is that tiny, tiny chance I could fall in love with a guy. Does that even make sense? It does in my head."

"No, it does," she says, "I wish everyone thought that way."

"That would be the dream," I sigh.

"So who's your exception?" she asks a few moments later. "Strictly sex though. If you had to pick a guy, who would it be?"

"Oh, that's easy, Zac Efron," I answer immediately.

Brittany licks her lips, "He's so hot," she says dreamily.

"Well, I'm glad we can agree on that," I smile at her.

"By the way," Brittany says, "that guy you pointed to wasn't the waiter. He was the owner. That was Mike."

"Really," I say surprised, "he's so young."

"Yeah, when his father died, he inherited this place. I see him at the gym every now and then. He used to come in all the time, when I just went there to work out, but then this kind of took over his life."

I could totally see why. There are quite a few people in this place for not having a sign, or name or anything outside. It's actually kind of impressive.

/

"Can I take it off now?" Brittany has been guiding me around town wearing a blindfold since we stepped out of the restaurant.

"Nope," she says with her hands in my shoulders. One of them moves down to the small of my back. "Okay, step," she instructs.

We travel up what feels like ten flights of stairs, when a particular smell hits my nose. It smells like paint thinner with a hint of air freshener.

I hear keys jingling in front of me and then I am being guided forward again. "Okay, take it off."

I pull the blindfold off of my eyes slowly. "Quinn's art studio?"

"Well, it's technically half mine now, so. And Quinn helped me clean it up earlier today."

So that's what Quinn was doing.

"I thought it would be nice, so we can be alone and not have to worry about our roommates. I would just like to add that those Fabreeze commercials totally exaggerate their products. "I look over to the corner of the room and see a blanket and some other things. "Oh," Brittany snaps her fingers. She walks over to the other side of the room and flips a switch. The room becomes illuminated. Brittany strung a set of lights across the area. She pulls out a box of matches from her pocket and lights a few candles in the center of the blanket.

"Wow, it's beautiful," I say, turning around to look at everything.

I feel Brittany's arms snake across my waist from behind me. "Not as beautiful as you," she breathes. Brittany brushes the hair away from my shoulder and places a lingering kiss on my neck.

I feel my body relax into her touch and those familiar flutters in the pit of my stomach. I turn around so that we are face to face and lay my head down on her shoulder and just breathe her in. She always smells so nice.

We stand there in the middle of the room for a few moments.

"You want some cake?" She speaks. I feel her voice vibrate through her chest and into my ear. "I made cheese cake and I brought some wine." She pulls away from me, my body getting a chill from the loss of contact, but then she extends her hand out for me to take.

I lace my fingers with hers as she guides me to the corner of the room. Brittany turns around to pull out two glasses and a bottle of wine from a basket that is sitting on the floor. She pours me a glass and then hands it to me. I smile at her and take a sip.

"Do your parents know? That you like women?" I ask, twirling the glass between my fingers.

Brittany is slicing me a piece of cheese cake as she answers, "mhm," she hands me the plate, "they weren't exactly surprised, but I didn't come out until just after I graduated high school, which was also my first relationship."

"Your first relationship was with a girl?"

Brittany nods into her glass of wine, "yep."

"So, when did you know?"

"I think I always knew. It was never a big issue with me. I mean- I never really thought anything of it. I was just like, 'hey, I'd kiss you'," she shrugs.

"You make it sound so simple," I shake my head. "Didn't you worry about what everyone would say behind your back?"

"Does it even matter?" She asks. "If you're happy, then that's what's important."

"I guess," I mumble. I wish it were that simple, but what happens if the people who are closest to you have a problem with it? Are you just supposed to ignore the fact that they think you're being sinful, or unnatural, or whatever? If anyone my father, or my abuela, or sister has a problem with me being gay, I don't think I could stand it, but I don't want to think about that right now. It makes my stomach turn. "So, what happened with your girlfriend?" I take a sip of wine.

"Oh," she looks down at her lap.

"If you don't wanna talk-"

"No, it's fine, she uh- she moved to finish her degree in California, it just wasn't working out, and you know- she cheated on me after about a month away."

"Oh wow, I'm sorry." I didn't mean to open old wounds.

"I'm not," she says quickly, her eyes finding mine. "You wanna dance?" Brittany stands up, extending a hand to help me up. I grab it and she pulls me to my feet. Our bodies softly collide and we start swaying back and forth.

"So what about you?" She says softly.

"No one serious," I answer.

Brittany hums in response. "I mean when did you know you were gay?"

Oh, right.

"Well," I sigh, "I don't really know," I say honesty. "I guess I always had a feeling, but I was too scared to do anything about it."

"Are you scared now?"

"No," I shake my head and lean up to press my lips against hers. "Not when I'm with you."

"I wanna show you something." She backs away from me and walks across the room, toward the large window. She pulls the curtains back and reveals a series of pictures that have been put on the wall. "I've been working on this project. These are all students at the university," she points to a close up of everyone's faces. "I asked them all to write down their biggest fears on a poster board and hold it in front of them." She points to the next set of pictures of all the people holding up their signs.

"See, in the first few pictures, you only see the person and their fears, but as they continue, you start to see all the beauty the world has to offer, and your problems don't seem so big."

"Wow," I reach out and lightly trace over the pictures. "These are beautiful." There are pictures of mountains and fields and the city scape.

I look over to Brittany. She is still studying the pictures on the window. "You know, people think I'm naive, that I just ignore all the bad in the world, but people see what they want to see. It's all I saw for most of my life: the evil, the hurt, the pain," she shrugs.

I feel my heart twitch painfully in my chest. It is hard to believe that someone who was bullied out of high school can have such a positive outlook on everything, not to mention she was cheated on by her girlfriend.

"I spent a lot of time hating everything and everyone," Brittany speaks up. "I hated the people who called me stupid. I hated Amy for breaking my heart. I hated that I couldn't find a job here in the city, but you know what they say, 'change your mind and change your world'"

I just stand there in awe of everything Brittany is. She finally pulls her gaze away from the pictures and finds my gaze.

"What?" She says bashfully.

I shake my head, stepping closer to her. "Just- you," I exhale.

I bring my hands up to cup her face and let my thumbs brush along her cheek bones. Brittany's eyes fall closed at the contact. "You're the first person I've kissed since Amy," she lets out, her eyes still closed. I see a tear threatening to fall from one of her eyes and I quickly wipe it away.

"How long?" I ask.

"A little over a year," she looks away sheepishly.

I swallow thickly, "did you love her?" She shakes her head. "Do you still-," I let the question linger in the air.

"No," she answers almost immediately.

Knowing that makes my chest swell with something.

I pull Brittany's face toward mine, until our lips meet once again. She lets out a tiny whimper at the contact. It sparks something inside of me. I deepen the kiss, moving my hands down to grab the flaps of Brittany's jacket. I walk us back until her back hits the wall.

"Santana," she moans, arching her neck back and rolling her head to the side. I take this opportunity to pepper her neck with kisses.

I have no idea where this confidence is coming from, I just know that I want Brittany. I want her in a way I have never wanted anyone before.

I kiss across her jaw line, stopping at her pulse point. My hands push out across her collar-bone in an attempt to remove Brittany's jacket. She helps me the rest of the way and tosses it to the floor.

I reattached my lips to hers, with new vitality. My hands make their way to the hem of Brittany's shirt, where they ball up the fabric. Brittany pushes her tongue into my mouth, causing my knees to buckle slightly, but she is right there to grab my elbows and steady me once more.

Brittany grabs hold of my wrist, spinning us so that I am pressed up against the wall, pinning my arms above my head. My body is heating up so fast, I can't stand it. She smirks at me before attacking my lips again. Her whole body is flush against mine, as if we are molding into one person.

Everything in my body is on fire, from the tips of my fingers, down to my toes.

My hips buck forward when her lips latch on to my collar bone. She lightly drags her teeth across the skin, giving a little nibble every once and a while. The pressure in the pit of my stomach is becoming too much. The air surrounding us is getting too hot.

I have to turn my face away from her to suck in a breath of air. I squeeze my eyes shut as she continues her assault on my neck, trying to keep myself under control. My breaths are coming out in short burst and my heart feels like it's going to fall out of my chest and onto the floor.

Brittany pulls away from my body. "Are you okay?" She asks softly, concern lacing her voice.

I slowly open my eyes to find the softest expression in hers. "Y-yeah," I croak out. I guess that's as good an answer she needs because the next instant her lips are back on mine.

Finding some strength in my bones, I push away from the wall. Brittany releases her grip on my wrists and my hands shoot to the hem of her shirt. I begin to tug it up and eventually get it over Brittany's head.

I can't help but reach out to run my fingers across her toned abs. I feel her muscles tense beneath my touch. It takes me a moment to pick my jaw up off the floor, before I start stepping toward her once more.

Brittany's hand comes forward to stop me, "yours too," she lets out. In one swift motion my shirt joins hers on the floor.

I grab Brittany's hand and pull her with me so that we are both sitting on the blanket. She begins kissing me again. I lean back to rest on my elbows and she follows, her lips never leaving mine. Her body is hovering over mine as she brings one hand up to palm at my breast.

I let out a surprised gasp at the new wave of pleasure coursing through my veins. I sit up again, and Brittany wraps her legs around my waist so she is sitting in my lap. She reaches behind her body to undo the clasps on her bra. A moment later her chest is exposed. I literally feel my mouth water with want. Brittany's hand reaches out to my shoulder, tracing its way down to my fingertips. She picks up my hands, staring directly into my eyes, as she guides it to her chest.

My mouth falls open at the contact as we both let out a gasp. She squeezes my hand in hers. It's a weird feeling having a breast that's not mine in the palm of my hand, but not unwanted. The flesh is so soft and warm. I bring my other hand up to cup her other boob, suddenly becoming obsessed with the feel of them in my hands. Brittany's head rolls back as she lets out a low moan before she springs forward and crashes our mouths together.

The impact causes me to fall back with Brittany crawling forward with me, her legs straddling my hips. She pulls on the straps of my bra, so they slide down my shoulders.

I feel Brittany's hips starring to rock into mine and, soon enough, mine are too. I just need to feel her. All of her. I sit up a little and undo my bra, quickly tossing it aid with the other clothes. Her hands come up and begin kneading the newly exposed flesh.

All of the sudden, I feel a warm mouth wrap around my nipple. Brittany's hand is tickling up and down the sides of my ribs, smoothing over the surface of my abdomen, and making its way further south where her fingers dance across the top of my jeans.

She is driving me insane.

My body tenses as my mind finally catches up with what we are doing.

I've never had sex with a woman before, and that thought should terrify me, but it doesn't.

"Britt," I gasp as her tongue swirls around my nipple. She lets go with a wet pop and looks up at me, her eyes darkened with desire. The look makes my skin ignite and my body ache with the need for her to touch me.

"Is this okay?" She husks. The sound of her voice alone makes my stomach flip.

"It's just- I've never-" I stutter out.

"Do you want me to stop?" She asks, liking her lips and twirling her finger around my belly button, causing my muscles to twitch.

"No."

At that, Brittany flattens her palm and pushes her hand into my pants. Her hand brushes past my clit and I almost scream at the contact. I'm already so worked up.

Brittany cups her hand over my center through my panties, which are now sticking to me. I can feel how hot I am down there and how wet I am for her. Brittany pushes up, the heel of her hand hitting my most sensitive spot. My eyes roll to the back of my head.

It has been way too long since I have been touched like this. I've touched myself and guys have touched my like this, but it has never felt _this_ amazing.

I reach down, fumbling with the button on my pants, my hands to shaky to work properly, before it finally pops open, so she can move better. Instead she withdraws her hand and I actually whimper at the loss of contact.

Brittany sits back on her heels and hooks her hands into the waists of my pants. I finally get what she is doing as she makes eye contact with me, asking for my permission. I give her a slight nod and lift my hips as she starts pulling my pants and underwear off in the same motion.

I have never felt so exposed and vulnerable in my life. Brittany stares down at me with a look I can't quite name. It's intense and soft at the same time. She reaches up to undo the button in her pants and quickly removes her clothes. I don't even have time to look over her body before she is crawling back on top of me.

Each place her skin touches mine sends a shot of electricity through my body. Everything about this moment is just so intense and intimate.

Brittany's body is laying flush on top of mine. She nudges my nose with her and smiles down at me. "You are so beautiful," she whispers into the air, running her nose across my cheek.

Brittany's hand travels up and down my side. Up and down. Up and down, until it doesn't come back up again and instead finds its way between our bodies.

My legs seem to part on their own accord, causing Brittany to fall between them and her stomach to push her hand harder against me. It's just enough pressure to cause me to squirm underneath her, but not enough to release any of the tension. Her hand traces the insides of my thighs, going up and around where I need her the most. I groan in frustration. I need her to touch me.

"Please," I choke out, rolling my hips upward.

That's all it takes for her fingers to run through my slick folds. She starts out slow, bringing her fingers down to my entrance and coating themselves in my wetness, before coming back up to draw slow circles around my clit.

"Oh god," I moan. My hands reach up to grab at her shoulders. I just need something to hold onto.

My heart is still hammering inside my chest and the ache between my legs is begging to be released. I feel my hips start to roll into Brittany's hand, trying to speed up the process because if I don't come now, I might actually pass out.

She must get the hint because her hand starts to move faster. With each new movement my breathing gets shallower and shallower. Brittany leans her forehead against mine, our breaths mixing together. She breathes in, I breath out.

I can feel the coil in my stomach getting tighter and tighter. Brittany nudges my cheek with her nose to get me to look at her. I open my eyes and immediately get lost in hers. My legs are starting to shake as I near the edge.

Suddenly my whole body tenses as I come undone. I bring my legs up to wrap around Brittany's waist, pulling her close to me. Everything in me just seems to relax and contract at the same time. Brittany places kisses across my face as she brings me down from my high, still making slow circles until my whole body relaxes.

My chest is still heaving up and down, but my body feels weightless.

"Holy shit," I breathe.

Brittany giggles and places a chaste kiss on my lips before rolling off of me. My body becomes cold from the light layer of sweat. She reaches behind her and pulls out another blanket. She drapes it across our bodies. Brittany lays flat on her back and holds out an arm, inviting me to lay next to her. I curl into her side, resting my head on her chest.

I don't think I have ever felt so relaxed in my life, but at the same time so terrified. For whatever reason, Brittany has decided to let me in, to open her heart to me and that scares me. What if I end up hurting her? But that's not the only thing that scares me about Brittany. She scares me because she makes me so happy, I've never felt so accepted, _so understood_, by another person before in my life. She just seems too good.

Brittany sighs from underneath me and pulls me closer to her body, her touch becoming an eraser to all the negative thoughts I was having. She kisses my hair and runs her hands along the length of my back, sending a new wave of shivers across my body.

Brittany starts to hum, sending a vibration through to my ear. "I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day," she softly sings. I feel a smile bloom across my face as I let out a light laugh, "when it's cold outside, I've got the month of May."

"You're such a dork," I say as I lean up and over her face, my hair creating a curtain around us. I lean down and press my lips against hers.

"Yeah," she shrugs, leaning up to kiss me again. When her lips part from mine, I let out a big yawn. "Tired?" she asks. My eyes are starting to feel really heavy, the sleepless night from before catching up with me. "Me too," she says before I have time to answer.

Brittany turns onto her side. I lay back down with her and she wraps her arms around me, pulling me into her. It suddenly occurs to me that Brittany didn't get to feel what I felt.

"What about you," I say, pulling back from her embrace.

She just pulls me back into her chest, "I guess you will just have to make it up to me some other time," she states.

"Yeah, we'll see," I mumble into her chest, as I close my eyes.

/

"Goodbye, Santana," Brittany smiles to me.

We have been standing in the hallway of my apartment saying 'goodbye' for about ten minutes now. Every time she turns to leave, I grab onto her hand, arm, jacket, anything to keep her near. I just don't want this to end. It was too perfect.

Brittany and I fell asleep earlier and when I awoke, it was to a tremendous ache in my back. The ground in the studio is cement after all and even though the feeling of Brittany's body next to mine was something that could cancel that pain out, I couldn't help but wonder if she felt it too.

"Yeah, you should probably go," I say, but not really meaning it, "you have work in the morning. You might be tired," I try to reason.

"Something tells me that I won't mind," she smiles leaning forward to capture my lips. I hum into her kiss.

"I had a really great time," I mumble into another kiss.

"Me too," she answers. "Okay, I'm leaving now," she says after a few more kisses.

"Okay," I sigh. "Bye Britt," I say as she turns to walk away.

"Bye Santana," she gives me a little wave.

I watch her walk all the way to the stairs, until I can't see her anymore before I turn to enter my apartment.

I really hope that Quinn isn't awake because I know she will have something snarky to say. I open the door and quietly step inside. All the lights are off, so that's a good sign, unless she is hiding in the shadows for me.

I make it into my bedroom safely, I turn to shut the door and then flip on the lights. I still feel so light and tingly all over. Tonight really was amazing. The dinner was amazing, the cheese cake was amazing, the wine was amazing, and Brittany was amazing.

I literally don't know what to do with myself right now, I have all of this excited energy, but at the same time, I'm so tired.

"So, did you have a good time?" a voice sounds from somewhere in the room.

My body twists around to find Quinn laying in my bed, with a book in her hands, which doesn't make sense because the lights were off.

"Jesus," I say, grabbing my chest.

"Its five in the morning," she smirks, "I bet you had a good time."

"What the hell are you doing in here?" I ask, my heart still racing.

"Oh," she starts, "I just like to sit in your room while you're gone."

"What the?-"

"I'm kidding, Santana. I just thought that maybe you would need someone to gush to when you got back. That is what best friends are for, right?" After the initial shock of Quinn being a total creep wears off, I can feel a smile threatening to make its way across my face. I try so hard to fight it, but it's to no avail, Quinn sees it. "Hmm… let's put the pieces together, shall we? Its five in the morning, you haven't killed me for being in your room yet, and you have a smile on your face."

I wait for her to continue, and when she doesn't I add, "so…"

"Someone got laid," she sing songs.

Okay, that's it. I reach for Quinn's legs that are hanging off the side of the bed and pull her off she hits the ground with a hard thud, but the comforter came off with her, so it wasn't that bad. "You're leaving now," I say pulling her toward the door.

"You didn't deny it!" she points out. She kicks her legs to try and get away, put I have already pulled her out into the hallway. "I want all the details in the morning, spare me nothing!" she screams as I shut the door to my bedroom.

"Get your own love life Quinn!" I shout back.

Quinn mumbles something under for outside of my door, but I pay no mind to it. I am so tired right now, my face is numb and my heart is still recovering from having sex with Brittany, not to mention almost having a heart attack not two minutes ago. I just wanna go to bed and relive this night in my dreams.

Over and over and over again.


	9. Chapter 9

**One Week Later**

"Brittany, I don't know if I can do this," I say from the driver's side of my car, gripping the steering wheel until my knuckles turn white.

She gives me a look that says I'm being ridiculous, but I don't think I am. If anything, _she_ is the one being crazy. "San, how are you ever going to get over your fear, if you don't do it," she sighs.

"Yeah, but Britt-"

"San," she warns, "this is for your own good." She reaches over and grabs my hand, stroking over the back of it with her thumb. It calms me down a little bit, but I still really don't want to do this. "I'll be right here with you, okay?"

I let out a huff of air and give her a slight, but determined, nod.

"Alright, let's go," she smiles in excitement.

I take a deep breath to ready myself before I step out of the car. Brittany is going to see really soon that there is nothing to be excited about. I'm almost certain she will never want to see me again after this 'adventure' with me.

As we are walking toward the destination, the anxiety sets in. I can feel my hands clamming up. I try to slow us down, to delay the inevitable, but Brittany pulls me along.

"Britt, please," I stop. Brittany spins around to face me, "I can't do this." I begin to panic. I really don't want to be here. This is so cruel. I don't understand why this is happening to me.

She folds her arms across her chest and gives me that look again. "Yes, you can. Don't you think you are overreacting just a tad?" She ask, pinching her fingers together.

"Absolutely not," I defend myself. "Quinn knows, she witnessed it the last time. I can't believe you guys are making me do this." I whine.

"Well, it's either you get your butt in there, or you starve to death." She mimics Quinn's words from earlier.

"Can you do it? Please? I'll just go wait in the car," I begin walking back to the car.

I make it a few steps before I notice Brittany jogging to catch up with me, "no, no, no," she says. "Come on. If you go in there, I will buy you dinner," she pleas. "I promised Quinn we would do this, if you won't do it for yourself, do it for me?" She smiles sweetly at me. I look away from her and towards the car, debating if I am fast enough to make a run for it and lock myself in the car before she can catch me. Brittany looks pretty fast, so I decide not to risk it. "Hey, look at me," she tilts my chin up with her pointer finger, "I believe in you Santana and I won't abandon you like Quinn did." My eyes snap up to hers, "yeah, she told me the story," she laughs.

I pout at her laughing at such a traumatic event in my past, "s'not funny," I mumble.

"You're right," she reaches out and grabs my hand, smoothing over the back of it with her thumb again. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I roll my eyes. I take a look around the parking lot. There are so many people here. I look back to Brittany and she has a soft smile playing at her lips.

How could I say no to a face like that? I take a deep breath, turn around to face the building and march toward it with a new sense of purpose.

/

A few minutes into our journey Brittany realizes how serious I was when I said I hate grocery stores. Looking back on the moment (now that we are in the snack food aisle because I had a few aisles to think about this) I do feel a little bad about what I said to the old lady.

I don't even know what really happened, Snixx came out in full force. She was there, I was there. Two of us and one box of Fruit Loops. It wasn't the proudest moment in my life, but no way was I going to make this trip without getting the one thing I really wanted.

Needless to say, Brittany pulled me away from the scene huffing and puffing and screaming out Spanish profanities. Her arms were snaked around my middle and she kept mumbling apologizes to the woman, and to the on lookers. I calmed down, but mostly because the proximity of Brittany was overwhelming me.

Ever since that night of our first date, every time she touched me I was reminded of when she _touched me_. We haven't done anything since then. It's not her fault though, I have been distant with her. It's not that I want to be. I _most definitely_ want to do things with her again, but I'm afraid. Not of the sex because I think I have watched enough porn to know what to do (unless they are giving me false information, which could be entirely possible) it's because _I'm_ the one that said I wasn't ready for anything serious.

It's only fair to her that I get my shit together first.

Hurting her is the last thing I want.

"I'm sorry," I say to her as I put a bag of chips into the cart.

She looks up at me from the box of cookies she was looking at and asks, "for what?"

"For back there," I say, pointing behind me, "that must have been embarrassing for you."

She shrugs her shoulders and takes a few steps closer to me until she is just inches away from my body. "I knew what I was getting myself into when I brought you here," she assures me. Then she leans closer, her mouth hovering over my ear, "besides," she draws out, "it was kinda hot."

I swallow thickly.

See, we have been keeping our distance from each other, but the teasing still happens. We haven't exactly talked about it out loud, but Brittany is a very perceptive person. I think she realized after about the first five times of her literally just putting her hand on my shoulder, back, arm, or whatever and I would find any excuse to do something else, what was going on with me. I am also a perceptive person, usually I just don't care, but I see the hurt flash across her face when I avoid a touch or a kiss.

Brittany leans away from my ear, flashes me a smile, and skips off down the aisle.

I hurry up to catch up with Brittany and we continue shopping. We are almost finished with everything, the only thing left on the list is milk. Turning the aisle I hear a familiar shrill voice.

"What do you mean you don't have organic milk? I can't drink anything else, I get hives."

"I'm sorry miss, we're sold out," the clerk tries to reason.

"Well, be unsold out. Do you have any idea who my father is? He owns half of the Unites States. A monkey could do your job better," she turns to walk away, but stops and quickly turns around and yells, "Not Aspergers."

"Sugar?" Brittany questions as we walk closer to the scene.

Sugar turns around with a surprised look on her face. "Brittany!" She squeals. "I was just trying to buy organic milk, you know, to be healthier, but this guy," she says louder than necessary, "is trying to make me fat."

"I'm sure he is isn't," Brittany insists.

"Well, whatever, I have the best trainer in the world, so I guess I could eat whatever I want." Sugar turns to face me. "Hey, Santana."

"Hey," I say back, not really all that enthused because my mind is still trying to put itself back together after having Brittany hit on me in the middle of the snack aisle.

"Did you do the psychology assignment?" She asks. We were just assigned it yesterday so I shake my head. "Me either, I paid some loser that sits in the front of the class to do it for me. I could totally hook you up if you want?"

"Uh-" I look to Brittany, "that's okay, I think I can manage." Psychology is actually my favorite class. The teacher is super chill and she really knows her stuff.

"So, how are you guys?" Sugar asks, clasping her hands together in front of her face. "How was your d-"

I look over to Brittany again, her eyes widen, "we're good, Sugar, thank you," she says sharply. That was weird. I've never heard that tone from Brittany.

Brittany grabs me by the shoulders and shuffles me away from the scene. Sugar says a quick goodbye to the both of us. "Um, what was that?" I ask when we finally get to the checkout line.

Brittany is loading the food onto the counter, "what was what?" She says innocently.

"That thing with Sugar," I say handing her some food.

"Oh, that? That was nothing," she says quickly.

I look over Brittany. She is moving really fast, almost like she doesn't want to be here anymore, and she is avoiding looking at me.

I get an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

/

After the grocery store fiasco, Brittany hasn't really said much of anything. I don't know what's going on with her, maybe I did something wrong? Maybe she senses that I am being a little distant, or it could be the fact that I made it seem like I didn't want _us_ to continue, but that doesn't make sense because she was acting fine until today. I guess it could be something about her mom too.

Whatever the case, I hate the silence that has crept into today.

This is all my fault.

I've always had communication problems. I need to work on that.

Maybe I should start now.

I have been trying to think of something to say to her, but it's hard opening up about things, especially my past 'relationships'. It's not exactly something that I'm proud of, but I do feel like I owe Brittany some sort of explanation.

"Hey Britt?" I ask taping her shoulder with my foot. We have been lying on the couch for the past thirty minutes or so. Quinn is out somewhere and Brittany decided to spend the evening here because Rachel has been practicing nonstop for her audition in that play.

Brittany is laying on her back by my feet.

"Hmm?" She hums, not making any effort to move.

I sit up a little so my weight is resting on my elbows. She looks so sexy right now. She had to borrow one of my hoodies because it was raining on the walk into the apartment. As I am looking down at her, my heart makes a tiny jump in my chest and when she looks at me with those blue eyes that seem to hold all the secrets to the universe in them, I have to have her closer to me. "Come here," I sigh.

Brittany looks down at me before pushing up and scooting across the couch. I pull her into a hug and hold on tight. I just breathe her in for a few moments, burying my face into the crook of her neck.

Brittany is a genius hugger.

I place a lingering kiss to the spot when Brittany's neck meets her shoulder. She sighs and leans further into me, her hands grasping tighter at my back, which only gives me more confidence. My lips keep moving and sucking on her neck until I hear a moan escape from her mouth when I graze over her pulse point.

Brittany's arches her neck back allowing me more space to work. I take this opportunity to push her back with my body, so that I am laying down on top of her. Brittany's legs wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to her.

I know I have been trying to avoid this very situation for the past week or so, but that's the problem. We haven't been this close since the last time and now I can't remember why I thought it was a good idea, or even necessary, to keep myself away from her. She just feels so damn good.

My hands sneak under the sweatshirt she is wearing, tracing over her ribs, while hers grasp the sides of my face, pulling me up to meet her mouth. She wastes no time in pushing her tongue past my lips. Our tongues battle for a few moments, neither one of us wanting to let the other win. I finally have to pull away when the feeling to do more gets overwhelming. I look down at Brittany, her flushed cheeks and heaving chest. She is so sexy right now, well she's sexy all the time, but right now, under me, I am so turned on.

She reaches forward with one of her hands, brushing some hair behind my ear and leans up to places a gently kiss upon my lips. What I was going to tell her, before I practically mauled her, is threatening to spill from my lips, but it never comes out. I just felt like I had to do something to show Brittany that I still want her in this way.

Brittany just pulls me forward, so that I can lay on top of her. I rest my head on her chest. Brittany reaches up behind me and grabs the blanket that is draped across the back of the couch. She wraps her arms around me and places a kiss to the top of my head.

Even though we didn't say anything, I feel like we had a full conversation. As my eyes are fluttering shut, I hear Brittany speak.

"I'm not going anywhere, Santana" she whispers and pulls me closer to her.

/

_What the hell was that? _

_It sounded like someone snapping at me. I turn around to find Brittany sitting on the edge of the bathroom sink, wearing a smirk. It's kind of hazy around her and all I can see is her face._

_I start walking toward the bathroom to get a better look. There is fog emanating from the room. The closer I get the more Brittany's smirk grows._

_I hear the snapping again and turn around to find... Lord Tubbington? Laying on my desk chair. I wonder when he got here? And where the hell did Brittany go? And why does lord Tubbington have a cigar hanging out of his mouth? _

_Hmm, maybe Brittany wasn't joking about him smoking._

_I hear singing coming from down the hall, so I follow the noise. It's getting louder and louder as I walk down the hall, that voice could only belong to... Mercedes? She is using a stalk of broccoli as a microphone, dancing around like she owns the place. _

_What is she doing here?_

_Just as I am about to ask her, I hear another snapping noise, then a second later my name is being called from down the hall._

_I definitely know that voice, as I make my way back down the hall, I turn the corner into the bathroom, the clouds of steam blocking my vision from Brittany._

_"Britt?" I call out, hoping she will answer me. She doesn't. So I call her name again._

_"In here," I hear called from behind me._

_I turn around quickly and almost faint at the sight. The breath gets caught in my throat when my eyes are met with Brittany. A very naked Brittany._

_I am frozen to my spot at the door._

_"You gonna just stand there, or are you going to come help me out over here?" She husks._

_My eyes widen as she runs a hand down her toned abs teasing just above her center. She smirks at me again, summoning me forward with her other hand._

_I begin walking toward her. Slowly, trying to calm my beating heart. Brittany sits up on her knees and crawls toward the end of the bed. She reaches forward, grabbing a fist full of my shirt and bunching it up around the collar as she pulls me forward. I fall forward, a little less gracefully than I would have liked, my hands finding purchase on her hips to steady myself. _

_"Like what you see?" She says._

_I lick my lips while looking down at Brittany's beautiful body._

_"Definitely," I sigh._

_Brittany lifts up her eyebrows. Still grabbing the collar of my shirt, she pulls me forward on to the mattress. She scoots back toward the top, pulling me with her. Brittany falls back, her body hitting the sheets below her with a soft thud._

_I'm hovering over her, watching her eyes shine yet darken with desire. I lean in, her lips part, and her neck arches back in anticipation. The air in the room is growing thick. I can feel the wetness pooling between my legs._

_I'm inching closer and closer, just a breath away. Her breath is mixing with mine, she breathes in as I breath out._

_Suddenly there is a crash._

/

My eyes snap open.

I look up to the ceiling, my chest heaving up and down. I don't know if it's from the sudden noise, or from being incredibly turned on.

"Dammit," I hear whisper yelled from somewhere.

I snap my head to the source of the noise and see Quinn lying on the floor with a stack of magazines scattered around her.

Brittany is still sleeping beside me, so I try to be quiet.

"Quinn," I whisper, "what the hell?"

"S-Santana," she stammers, "um, hi," she smiles up at me guiltily.

Brittany shuffles closer to me, mumbling something under her breath. I can't help the smile that spreads across my face, but then I remember Quinn, and I remember my dream, and I remember a naked Brittany... Underneath me.

A shiver runs through my body. I feel myself pinching my legs together beneath the covers.

"What were you doing?" I ask narrowing my eyes at her.

"Nothing," she says lightly. Quinn looks really guilt though and Quinn never looks guilty. She has a brilliant poker face.

"You're lying," I say with my eyes still narrowed.

"Mmm," Brittany moans next to me. "San, who are you talking to?" She mumbles. One of her hands snake around my around my neck. She buries her face there and begins kissing my neck.

My eyes widen and I clear my throat. Quinn just smiles from her spot on the floor. "Uh- Britt?" I manage to get out. I am still turned on from my dream and having Brittany kiss my neck definitely isn't helping to cool me off.

"Hmm?" She hums.

"Um- Quinn is here."

Brittany's body freezes, she slowly peels herself away from me and turns to peer over her shoulder. Quinn gives her a little wave. Brittany just nods her head in her direction before turning back to face me.

"Santana? Uh- has Quinn been watching us sleep?"

"I don't know, Britt?" I blink a few times. "Maybe she's not really there."

Quinn gives me a curious look, but doesn't say anything.

"Well..." Brittany starts, "if she's not here, we can make out, right?" She finishes, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Okay, goodbye," Quinn shoots up and sprints toward her bedroom, leaving Brittany and I on the couch laughing hysterically.

"Who knew you were so evil," I coo playfully. "I knew this nice girl stuff was all just an act."

"Oh yeah, I can be very bad," she husks. Brittany begins kissing my neck again. My eyes fall closed at the sudden, but not unwelcome, contact. Her fingers are toying with the hem of my shirt until she reaches under, lightly scratching the skin underneath.

"Mmm, Britt," I try to get her attention. Except it sounds more like a moan, which only encourages her to continue. She starts to suck harder and I'm almost certain that will leave a mark. Her mouth moves up to my ear, taking the lobe between her teeth and gently pulling. This time a moan actually does escape my lips.

It's getting too hot too fast and although I would love to continue making out with Brittany, Quinn is right down the hall. She already interrupted my sexy times once today, we better not make it two.

"Britt," I say stronger this time.

"Yes?" She answers, but makes no effort to stop.

I giggle a little before lightly pushing on her shoulder, "Quinn," is all I say.

She stops, pulls her head back and has a look on her face like she wants to continue, but is deciding if she should or not. "Okay- yeah -sorry." She finally says. She starts getting up from the couch. "I should- I should probably get back to the apartment. Rachel gets all worried if I'm out too late." She says quickly.

I take a quick glance at the clock on the TV stand, it's only six o clock in the afternoon.

"Britt, it's not even that late," I say through a laugh.

Brittany stops gathering her things from the chair and takes a deep breath, "yeah, I have to finish homework and stuff," she tries, except we spent all afternoon yesterday doing our homework together.

"Britt," I sigh, "what's going on?" I ask concerned. "Did I do something?" I look down. Maybe I did do something.

Her face softens at that, "what? No, no you didn't do anything." She shakes her head, walking back over to the couch to take a seat next to me. Brittany takes both of my hands in hers and rubs her thumbs over the back of them. "Santana, I'm gonna be honest with you here." My stomach drops at her words. "If I stay here, I'm afraid I won't be able to keep my hands off you. I know you are still sorting everything out in your head, and that's fine, I'm glad you are, it's just I don't want to ruin anything by doing something you won't be comfortable with."

I worry my lip between my teeth for a moment, trying to find something to say. I decide to just take the route Brittany did, honesty. " I know what you mean, it's been really hard not kissing you this week. I'm gonna be honest with you too," I swallow, "I don't want to think I'm using you because I'm not, not at all." Brittany stares at me with a confused expression. "I use to use people for sex, I did it because it was a distraction. I was trying to prove to myself that I wasn't gay, that I wasn't actually lonely. I don't want that with you because you make me feel- amazing." I shrug. "But I also don't want hurt you because I always mess the important things up. I run away. Look at what happened with my family. I can't_- I won't-_ do that to you."

Brittany just smiles at me like I said the greatest thing on the planet. Before her face turns more serious, "So, Quinn," she starts, "does she-does she know about us?" She asks carefully. "I mean- I know you told her you are gay, but," she stops, pulling her lips into her mouth.

"Well, if she didn't before, she does now," I sigh.

Brittany tucks her chin to her chest looking a little ashamed. The image looks heartbreaking, "I'm really sorry," she mutters. "I really didn't know she was there."

"Britt," I laugh, "I was only kidding." I smile, but Brittany is still looking down. "Britt," I say softly. She slowly lifts up her head and looks at me through her lashes. "Quinn knows. I told her."

Brittany's lips twitch slightly, but she still doesn't smile. "You told her?" She asks, her voice small and unsure.

"Mhmm," I nod and smile.

"So," she scoots closer to me. She slides an arm around my waist and pulls me down, so we are lying down again. "I can make out with you in front of her then?" Her voice drops and so does the pit of my stomach.

"Well, you can definitely make out with me," I say feeling better about everything now that I told Brittany why I didn't want to before, "but I really don't think Quinn would appreciate that, plus," I add, "she might get too turned on."

"Hmm," Brittany giggles. "Are we talking about Quinn, or you," she says while pulling me into her.

"Uh- both?" I shrug with a smile playing at my lips.

My phone goes off on the coffee table behind Brittany, I sigh before leaning over her to quickly grab it. It says I have a new text from Quinn. I swipe my thumb across the screen and a picture of Brittany and I sleeping in each other's arms comes up. I can't help the smile that stretches across my face, so that's what Quinn was doing.

Another text come a few moments later.

**Quinn- Brittany and Santana, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.**

My face heats up, what are we in second grade?

"What's that?" Brittany asks trying to peek over to see the message.

I bring the phone quickly to my chest. "N-nothing," I say dismissively. "Quinn just sent me a picture of us sleeping together, well not sleeping together, just- you know- sleeping."

"Aww, can I see it?" Brittany asks excitedly. "Please," she puffs out her lower lip and I'm pretty sure she knows I can't say no to that face.

I roll my eyes at her adorableness, "okay," I feign annoyance.

I click the picture so that's all she can see and not the text message.

"Aww, San look at you," she takes the phone to get a better look. "You look like a little puppy."

I frown because I like to think I look more threatening than a puppy, even if I am asleep.

"Is someone embarrassed?" Brittany laughs while poking me in the sides, I squirm a little to get away.

"W-what? No," I stutter out. I am still recovering from my sexy Brittany dream and her this close with her hands on me, engulfing your senses, is only adding fuel to the fire.

"Liar," she says like she can read my thoughts. I just shake my head a her in response. "Hey, you know what we could do? To freak Quinn out?" There is an evil glint to her eyes.

"What," I ask carefully, yet intrigued.

"We should send her a picture of us kissing," she says as she bites her lower lip.

I know Quinn, and that will surely cause her to flip out.

"You evil genius," I smirk at Brittany. I unlock my phone and get to the camera app. I turn my head to find Brittany with her eyes closed and lips puckered up and waiting for a kiss. I press a quick kiss to her lips and quickly pull back.

She peeks open one eye, "you get it?" She asks.

"No, that was just a practice one."

She closes her eyes again and waits for me expectantly. This time I have the camera ready, I lean in, one eye peaking at the camera to make sure we are both in the frame while I press my lips to hers again. I don't pull back, even after I get the shot as I become too consumed by Brittany's mouth once again on my own.

I can't really explain what it is about kissing Brittany that is so different from anyone else you have kissed.

I could probably put it down to the fact that she is a woman, but that wouldn't be accurate because I've kissed a few girls in high school on a drunken dare, but it didn't feel like this.

It didn't make my insides fill with excitement, or my heart beat ten times faster. So, I put it down to the simple fact that it feels this amazing simply because its Brittany.

Brittany pulls back from the kiss. I whimper a little at the loss of contact, but she takes the phone from my hands and looks at the picture.

"Oh," she breathes out, "I'm gonna need a copy of this."

I take the phone from her and look at the picture yourself. I have to admit we look really good together. Even in the picture, I can see how crazy happy she makes me. No wonder Quinn knew how i felt about her before I told her. I wonder if it is that obvious to the rest of the world.

It probably is.

I scroll down to Quinn's name and attach the picture.

"Now," I say stretching out a bit, "we wait."

A few minutes later Quinn text back with a message that reads 'gross, now I'm gonna have that burned in my mind all day.'

Brittany and I bust out laughing, she takes my phone again and types a short message. She hands it back to me and I read what she wrote. It just says 'you're welcome."

Brittany leaves a few hours later. After I say goodbye I come in and find Quinn sitting at the kitchen table reading a book. I go and grab an apple from the refrigerator and go sit on the opposite side of the table.

"So, are you two dating yet?" Quinn asks without looking up from her book.

"Quinn," you sigh loudly. "Did we not just have this conversation a few days ago?" You ask exhausted.

"Yeah, but santan-"

"Look, I like her. A lot, but I can't change overnight. I wanna do this right, for once."

"Well look at you being all mature. You know, I never thought I'd see the day." She jokes. "You better make her yours soon though, or someone might snatch her up."

"Oh, that's comforting," I say sarcastically. "Brittany knows how I feel though. We're getting there."

"Hmm," Quinn hums out. "Just don't let what other people think affect you, you two are something special. I just know it." It's quiet for a few moments. Quinn is reading her book and I am thinking about what she just said to me. "So, are you coming to my art exhibit?" She asks casually.

I know it's a big deal to Quinn, she has been working on this project for the better part of a year. "I wouldn't miss it," I say back.

"Good," she says while turning a page, "you should take Brittany as your date." She smirks.

I roll my eyes, but the more I think about it the more brilliant the idea sounds. I don't think I have ever asked anyone out on a date before. This sounds like a pretty good idea though, maybe I could take her out to dinner this time.

/

I'm lying in bed later that night just staring at the picture of me and Brittany kissing. It makes my heart flutter in the best way possible.

As I am staring at the picture, my phone vibrates in my hand.

It scares me, so I almost end up dropping it on my face. It's a text from Brittany.

**Britt-Guess what my background is?**

I smile down at my phone.

_-I don't know, a unicorn?_

**Britt-ah, good guess but no. It's us! Well us laying on the couch, I don't know how I feel about having us kissing on display for everyone to see.**

_-us, huh?_

It has a good ring to it.

**Britt- yep!**

I set my phone down on the bed and put my arms underneath my head. I have been thinking about what Quinn said earlier about asking Brittany to be my girlfriend. I don't know. I definitely want her to be, but what if she doesn't? I feel like we just need to take baby steps with this.

Now I won't be able to see her until Wednesday because she is busy with work and school. Something about Sugar wanting to do a fitness challenge or something, so she is requiring Brittany's services for five hour sessions.

It's fine though, it will give me some much needed time to think about this whole thing and a clever way to ask her out to Quinn's showcase.

I feel my phone vibrate next to my arm.

**Britt-goodnight you sexy thang ;)**

I'm pretty sure Brittany can cure cancer with the words that leave her mouth.

_-goodnight Britt :)_

* * *

**I have re-written this chapter about three times and I still don't like the way it turned out. I guess it was just one of those chapters.**

**I hope you guys liked it though.**

**I would like to say thank you to those of you who read and review. **

**Please, let me know what you think.**

**:) **


	10. Chapter 10

**The Next Day**

"Okay, who was the 20th president?" I ask, trying to stump Brittany. It's not one of my questions, but she has gotten all those right. I've been looking up random presidents on my phone.

"James Garfield," she replies absent mindedly, flipping through a magazine .

"21st?"

"Chester Arthur," she answers again.

"Damn, genius much?"

"I hardly think memorizing a list constitutes being a genius, but hey, I'll take it." She closes the magazine and rolls over toward my side. "So, you finished yet?" She asks, craning her neck to look at my paper.

"Yes," I tilt it so she can look at it better. "Thank you for helping me." History is just another one of those classes I put off taking.

"Sure," she leans up and pecks my lips. It's just a quick kiss, but it still makes my heart jump in my chest. Brittany lays her head down on my stomach and grabs one of my hands, threading our fingers together. She picks up my folder, where I keep all of my assignments and flips through it. "What class is this?" She asks a little intrigued.

I lean over a little and peek over her shoulder, "oh, that's uh- women's studies," I mumble.

She giggles.

"What?" I ask defensively.

"Oh nothing," she says through a laugh. I shrug it off and bring my hand forward to comb through her hair. "I'm gonna go get something to drink, you want anything?"

"No, I'm good," I answer, picking up another study guide for my history class. I have a test sometime next week.

Brittany come in the room a few minutes later.

"Uh, San?" she asks. "I ran into Rachel in the kitchen, I didn't even know she was here. Does she do that a lot? Just show up?"

"All the time," I sigh.

"Okay, well, she wanted to know if we would watch a movie with her."

A movie with Rachel is a musical.

Always.

It's not that I hate musicals, I actually don't mind them, I just hate watching them with _Rachel_. She just _has_ to sing every line.

"Ask her what movie."

"Rachel what movie," Brittany yells through the door.

"Beauty and the Beas-"

"No!"

"Santana said no," she yells again.

Brittany looks back to me on the bed while waiting for Rachel to answer again.

"How about," I faintly hear from the living room, "The Lion Ki-"

"No. No musicals."

"Santana says no musicals."

I hear a loud groan and then a 'fine' before she comes stomping down the hall. The door swings open, "you pick then," she huffs.

"Why don't you let Brittany pick," I suggest. Rachel turns to Brittany and Brittany just shrugs, "just let me know when you decide," I say, looking over my paper again.

Five minutes later Brittany is back in my room, holding up a DVD box with a smirk on her face and jumps on my bed, her knees bumping into my thighs. It's a horror movie. Rachel hates horror movies.

"How did you get her to agree to watch that?" I ask in amazement.

"I can be very convincing," she trails a finger up my arm and across my chest before giving me a peck on the lips.

When we get out to the living room, Rachel is spread out on the couch.

"Uh-uh," I snap my fingers at her, "you get the chair."

"But why?" she whines.

"House rules," I shrug. She grumbles, but gets up off the couch and drags her cover behind her. "Leave the blanket too."

"Oh, come on," Rachel begs.

"I'll just go get your comforter," Brittany says and makes her way to my room.

Rachel sticks her tongue out at me and plops down on the recliner, while I brush past her to sit on the couch.

Brittany comes back into the living room carrying my comforter and a pillow in her arms. She plops down in the seat next to me, spreading the blanket over our bodies. I pull out my phone and do a quick search.

"14th President," I whisper to Brittany.

"Franklin Pierce," she answers.

"Damn."

"Come on now, we share the same last name. I could never forget Franky." She grabs my hand underneath the blanket and snuggles into my side.

At some point during the movie Quinn gets home and she comes to watch with us.

Brittany's hand somehow lands on my thigh, which is fine, but then she starts drawing patters across my skin. At first, her touch tickles, but then as she keeps going, I find myself anticipating her next touch, almost craving it. She starts pressing down firmer, massaging my legs and it feels so good that my eyes roll back into my head.

Then she starts going higher and higher, until her fingertips brush along the hem of my shorts. She fans her fingers out and I feel the warmth spread throughout my body, my tongue coming out to wet my lips as my heart in my chest starts to beat faster.

"Mercedes is coming later this week," Quinn announces.

"Oh?" I croak out, a little embarrassed by how hoarse my voice sounds. Brittany giggles from beside me.

Quinn keeps talking, but my mind goes blank when Brittany's hand moves just a little bit higher, brushing along the outside of my underwear. My body jerks a little in response and I don't think she meant to do that because she pulls her hand away pretty quickly.

For the rest of the movie, I have to endure Brittany's teasing touches, with my legs pinched together beneath the sheets.

/

When Monday rolls around, I find myself bored out of my mind.

I use to love Mondays because I could just sit at home and do nothing but ever since I met Brittany, things have changed. What makes it even worse is that I don't get to see Brittany today. That and I have the whole day, _the whole day_, by myself.

I guess I could start that essay question for history class that is on my test tomorrow,(My history teacher is pretty awesome and gives us all the essay question options before the actual test, so we know what to expect) but it's for history class and I would really rather do anything else.

With graduation right around the corner, I've been trying to think about what it is that I want to do for the rest of my life. No pressure though. It seems so impossible to decide. Nothing feels right. I can't really see myself doing anything for a career.

I've had jobs before, but they were just random things. The last job I had was at a shoe store.

Which is money, don't get me wrong, but it's not exactly the thing I had in mind when I moved to the city. I was thinking I would get a cool job at like a record store or something. Or maybe even a bar, but those jobs are hard to come by, so I got stuck at a shoe store.

I just want to do a little bit of everything.

I don't know. I love little kids, but I don't think I could be a teacher. I love music, but I don't really want to be a singer, plus it's still hard for me to even look at a state, let alone get on one and sing.

Maybe I could write? I have always loved writing, but I'm not really that creative.

"Ugh," I groan and stuff my face into my pillow.

Who is the wise ass that decided that you have to pick one thing and stick to it? I'm gonna have to have a word with them.

I need a distraction right now. I push up off my mattress and decide that I could clean the apartment. Quinn always gets on me for not cleaning, but I don't see the point in cleaning if we aren't going to have company aside from the usual people who could care less what the apartment looks like. I guess Rachel cares cause she is a neat freak like Quinn, but I don't care about Rachel.

I walk out into the kitchen, fully prepared to start cleaning. I open the cabinets to get those long yellow rubber gloves that Quinn bought but we never use. Then I realize that the place is already spotless. How am I ever supposed to clean when the place is already perfect?

I sigh and snap the glove off my hand and toss them back under the sink. That just killed all of my plans.

I take out my phone to check the time. It's about eleven in the morning. Great, I still have the whole day. Seriously, when did I get this boring? I can't even entertain myself?

I wonder what Rachel is doing today?- no, I did not just think that. I will not resort to hanging out with Berry.

I sit on the couch bouncing my feet up and down on the coffee table trying to think.

Then it's like a beacon of light shines down on me, I could go visit Brittany at work. She always comes to see me when she can, so I should totally go see her.

I get off the couch and run to my bedroom to throw in something other than sweats, not that Brittany would mind because she is probably wearing sweats too, but still.

I smile at myself in the mirror before I head out the door.

As I'm making my way down the streets to the gym Brittany works at, I take a moment to just look around at the city. I really love it here, something about all the people buzzing around (even though they are annoying as fuck) really draws me in. It's so full of opportunity and hidden adventures, I should really try and take part in all of this… someday.

I walk into the building and am greeted by the annoyingly happy woman at the service desk, "hi, welcome, what can I do for you today?"

I cringe and her friendliness, but smile despite myself, "uh- Brittany Pierce? Is she working right now?"

The woman smiles again and points down the hall, "second door on the right," she says.

I look into the room where Brittany is and at first I don't see her. I look around at all the people on their bikes, mostly middle aged women, but there are a few men in here too. I hear a voice coming from the front of the room.

"Alright, just 10 more minutes, you can do it!" My eyes are drawn to her, like a magnet. I know my jaw is hitting the floor and I can practically feel the drool dripping out of my mouth.

There is Brittany, perched on top of her bike with a sports bra and shorts that are dangerously low. Her skin is glistening and I can see every muscle in her body when she moves. The air is becoming thick and I almost can't breathe. I should probably go outside in the hall and wait for her class to be over, but I can't look away.

She sits up a little on her bike and brings a towel to wipe her face. She drops the towel and brings both arms up to re-adjust her pony tail.

I swear I let out a whimper at the sight.

Why have I never come to visit Brittany at work before?

I must have been zoned out for a while because the next thing I know is that people are brushing past me to get out the door. Brittany still hasn't said anything to me, so I guess she hasn't realized I'm here yet. She is digging in her gym bag that is perched up on a stool.

I quickly and quietly sneak up behind her. I set my hands on Brittany's hip and lean in close to her ear, she jumps at the contact. "You know," I say lowly into her ear, "your body should come with a warning."

When she hears my voice her body relaxes into me. She turns around in my embrace. "Hey," she smiles down at me. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" She asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "Oh you know, I was just in the neighborhood." Brittany's eyes flicker from my eyes to my lips a couple of time like she wants to kiss me , but she's not sure if she can or not. "And I guess maybe I missed you a little too." I roll my eyes at my lame excuse.

"You missed me?" She says as her eyebrows shoot up. I suck my lips into my mouth and give her a nod. "Well, I don't have another class for 2 hours. Want to grab something to eat?" She asks taking my hand in hers and swinging it at her side.

"How bout we do something else instead," I smirk, tugging on her hand to pull her closer to me.

She doesn't have time to answer before my lips are attached to hers. I feel her whole body relax into the kiss as her hands find their place on my hips, pulling me back until she pushes her gym bag to the floor. I step in between her legs, grasping the sides of her face and kissing her harder.

A shaky breath escapes her lips. "What has gotten into you?" She basically moans, arching her neck back.

I don't answer right away. I just kiss across her jaw line and down the exposed slope of her neck, Brittany's hands digging into the skin at my hips. It kinda hurts, but right now, I kinda like it.

I don't know what it is about Brittany that makes me feel so bold. I do things that I normally would never even think of doing with anyone else, with her.

She is just so intoxicating.

My lips travel down the slope of her long neck again. Then I move over to the other side, kissing until I find Brittany's pulse point and I lightly suck on the soft flesh. She squirms a little, but doesn't make an effort to stop me.

I move back up her neck, kissing until I reach her ear. I pull the lobe into my mouth. Brittany turns her head to give me better access. I kiss down her jaw and across her chin, before moving up to hover over her luscious lips, but I don't kiss her yet.

I hover so dangerously close to her mouth. So close I can almost feel her desire. I can definitely see it and feel it in the way her hot breath is masking over my face. Brittany moves forward just a hair, so I move back. Confusion sets in across her face, but then she sees the smirk on my face.

"Are you teasing me?" She asks with a glint in her eye and a little breathless.

I give her an exaggerated shrug of my shoulder. "Maybe," I coyly say back. Serves her right after the other night.

"Mmm," she says. We're still standing with our faces just millimeters apart. "Can I please kiss you now?" Her eyes dart between mine, trying to pull the answer out of me with their pleading look.

It's that look she gets that she knows I can't resist, I don't think I ever could. I nod my head bringing our mouths together hard, my tongue pushing past her lips and straight into the warmth of Brittany's mouth.

Since Brittany isn't really wearing that much clothing, I don't have anything to grab onto, instead I snake my arms around her back and pull her closer to me. She slips off the stool, which is perched against the wall. One of my thighs sneaks in between her own. Brittany takes in a sharp breath. I slow down the kissing until it's just a few soft pecks.

I pull back and look at Brittany. Her chest is heaving up and down and her cheeks are flushed. "Let's go eat?" I smirk.

Brittany leans her forehead against mine. "You are going to kill me" she sighs.

/

"Where the hell did you find this place," I ask stuffing another piece of bread into my mouth. "Brittany, I searched everywhere!" I exclaim.

Brittany laughs and shakes her head at me. "You better slow down on those. You're going to get a cramp."

I give her a glare, until I realize its Brittany that I'm glaring at, then my face softens. "See, here's something you may not know about the Snixx, she loves her breadsticks and she is a pro at eating them."

"Wanky," Brittany smiles.

I reach across the table and give her a high five. "Nice," I say, "but seriously, why the hell didn't I find this place during the great Breadstixx search of last summer?"

"Well, that would be because this place is only a few months old."

"Oh," I nod. "You come into my life and bring me something that is better than Breadstixx? Wait- wait- I didn't say that. Nothing is better than Breadtixx, but you get the point."

Brittany is stitched over laughing. "You are so weird," she manages to get out.

This is nice. Being around is just so easy, I honestly don't know what I am afraid of. Brittany is he most understanding and caring person I think I have ever known. Which is why now is the perfect time to ask her about Quinn's art show.

I have been meaning to ask her for a few days now, but every time I try to, I end up backing down because, well, I've never asked anyone out before. People usually came to me, so this is a new arena for me.

"Hey, uh- Britt?" Okay see now I'm all nervous and stuttering. I was fine not two minutes ago, having fun and joking around with her. I start wringing my hands together on the table. A few more bubbles of laughter escape her lips. She stops laughing when she realizes how nervous I am being. "So Quinn has this art thing-"

"Oh, yeah, Rachel told me about that. She asked me to go with her."

I am going to _kill_ Rachel. Of course she would do that. Berry has always been ruining my life. My body deflates as I sit back in my chair. I fold my arms across my chest and start chewing on my lower lip.

"Why?"

I look up at Brittany. "Why what?" I ask, tying to play off the fact that I was going to ask her to go with me to Quinn's art show.

"What were you going to say?" Brittany asks curiously.

I wave my hand in front of my face, "it was nothing."

Dammit, what the hell?

It's Brittany's turn to sink back in her seat. Her shoulders drop ever so slightly and here face falls.

"Actually," I start, swallowing down my nerves. I have to do this. "I was going to ask you- if you- you know- maybe, would like to be my date?" I quickly look down at the table because I'm afraid to see her reaction. There is silence for a few moments. The anticipation is becoming too much too handle so I quickly add, "But if you would rather go with Rachel-"

"Are you kidding me?" Brittany laughs. Great, now she's laughing at me. I can feel my face burning. "Santana, I would much rather go with you," she smiles at me.

"Really?"

"Well duh, I mean- I can't make out with Rachel after," she shrugs her shoulders. I pick off a piece of bread and flick it at her.

/

Quinn's bouncing up and down on my bed like a little school girl. "So, you did it? You asked her?" She asks excitedly.

"For the hundredth time, yes." I say monotonously.

At first, I shared Quinn's excitement because I was so elated that I had enough courage to ask Brittany out on a date, but that was an hour ago and, don't get me wrong I'm still pretty excited about it, but Quinn is making it not fun anymore. "Is your love life that boring that you have to live it through me?" I ask.

"Well excuse me for being happy for my best friend," she says offended. She sits on the couch tapping her finger on the chair, a small smile playing at her lips. I give her a look from across the couch. "Are you gonna hold her hand?" She says in a mocking voice.

"Alright, Quinn, you know what?" I stand up from the couch. She gets up just as quick. "I'll give you three seconds Fabray!" I say and grab a pillow.

"Oh shit!" Quinn screams. She turns to run toward the kitchen, stumbling over the pillow that fell at her lap.

"One, three!" I take off after her.

"Santana, learn to count!" She yells. She is on the opposite side of the table. I start running toward her with the pillow still in my hands. We make it around the table a few times with Quinn screeching like a little girl and pulling out the chairs in front of me to slow me down.

"You are really not helping your case here Q," I say holding up the pillow in a threatening manner. Quinn runs over to the sink and grabs the hose and turns the water on. "Quinn. Don't." I say holding up my hand and the pillow to cover my hair. "You know what water does to my hair."

"Exactly, so just put the pillow down and we can forget this ever happened."

"Never!" I shout while running toward Quinn, the pillow still covering my face. As soon as I started running toward her, Quinn was shooting the water. "No," I cry out. I fall to my knees on the floor. "I'm melting." I say dramatically. "I'll get you Fabray, and your little art project too."

Quinn is in the corner of the kitchen laughing and I am still pretending to be a pile of goo when Rachel walks in, yes just walks in, our apartment. Curse the day we gave her a key.

"Oh, I see," she starts, "you guys are reenacting the Wizard of Oz without me?" She sets her purse down on the table and folds her arms across her chest.

"Yeah, well, we were gonna call you over, but we were just so excited. We couldn't wait," I shrug, getting up off the floor and raising the pillow and jerking it towards Quinn, she flinches away and I start cracking up again.

"Next time call me," Rachel whines, "I could be here in two minutes flat."

"How?" Rachel lives a good seven and a half minutes away. "You gonna fly here on your broom?"

"Yeah, the one I found in your closet," Rachel bites back.

I see Quinn walking over to the refrigerator out of the corner of my eye. She grabs something and turns back to me extending her hand out to me.

I give her a puzzled look. "Ice," she states. "You know- for your burn."

I sigh and roll my eyes at her. So, Rachel came up with one good come back. Big deal. "Why do you always take her side?"

"Someone has to," Quinn shrugs. Rachel smiles smugly at me. I give her a glare and she falters a bit. "Besides, you have Brittany on your side all the time now."

"It's true," Rachel adds, "I know you guys collaborated to get me to watch that horror movie, which by the way, gave me awful nightmares."

"Actually, that was all Brittany," I laugh.

"You are corrupting her!" Rachel yells, "she was so sweet when she first moved in."

"Maybe she just realized how annoying you are?"

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Enough!" Quinn shouts over us. "Jesus, you two."

"She started it," we both say at the same time.

Suddenly I realize that Rachel still doesn't know about Brittany and I.

Great.

How am I supposed to have a date with Brittany in public and have Rachel lurking around and asking a bunch of questions?

"Uh- Quinn?" I ask from the floor. Quinn looks over to me. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" I nod my head in the direction of my room.

Quinn must see something along the lines of terrified written across my face because she doesn't argue or ask why, she just tells Rachel we will be right back.

I get into my room and shut the door behind me. I start wringing my hands in front of my body, trying to calm myself down.

"Alright out with it Lopez," Quinn says firmly after a few minutes of silence.

"Rachel doesn't- I mean- she still doesn't know. How do I- fuck-she going to be there," I start pacing the room. I bring a hand up to my face and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Okay, calm down," Quinn says from across the room. "You're gonna make me throw up."

"How am I supposed to tell people about me and Brittany if _I_ don't even know about me and Brittany?"

Quinn looks at me sympathetically for a moment. She purses her lips together then beings talking. "Look, Santana, you don't have to tell anybody anything until you're ready, okay? But you should know, that Rachel won't think any less of you and if you want, I can totally cover for you and Brittany if you decide to go make out in a closet or something," she smirks.

I let out a light laugh. This is why Quinn is my best friend, she always knows how to talk me down. "I just want to know what we are before other people start finding out. Is that so bad?"

"Absolutely not." Quinn comes over to give me a hug. After a moment she pulls back. "Can I tell you something though?" I nod a little. "You have to promise not to get mad cause I know you and well..."

"What is it?" I cut her off.

"You see, Rachel has two gay dads and, well, she claims to have a sixth sense thing and she kind of- well she- she already thinks you and Brittany have something going on."

"What?" I say and fall down onto my mattress. I put my hands over my face.

"I didn't say anything I swear!" Quinn quickly defends herself.

"I know," I sigh. Quinn would never do that. She respects me and, even though I may not exactly show it, I respect her too.

"But she won't say anything to you about it. You know how Rachel is, she'll want you to come to her and then act all proud and shit that you told her something so special."

I don't know why, maybe I'm just overwhelmed, but I feel tears build up behind my eyes.

"Hey," Quinn says "you're going to be alright."

I feel the first tear roll down my cheek. "No-I know, you guys are just awesome." Quinn takes a seat next to me on the bed and pats my leg.

(Sure, I was just arguing with Rachel about how annoying she is, but she really is a great friend and that is just how we work. She enjoys it too, I know because she told me before how it has helped her with some of her roles. I'm not exactly sure how, but whatever, I don't try to understand Rachel. It would only cause a head ache.)

I sit there for a moment and just think. I think about how much my life has changed in the past few months and how much happier I am now that I have accepted this part of myself. It's weird to think about how much one person can affect your life, not to mention how scary it is, but this is all good change.

So, in that moment I decide I'm not hiding anymore, well at least from Rachel, if she even counts.

I get up off the bed and go to the door. I open it and call for Rachel. Moments later she shows up at the door.

"You rang?" She says and flips her hair dramatically. Oh god, see sometimes she is just asking for it.

"Uh- sit down," I say. Rachel goes to sit on my bed next to Quinn and folds her hands neatly in her lap. "I- I have something to tell you." I get a little nervous, but then I remember its Rachel and I have never cared what she thought about me before, so why should this be any different? "Rachel, I'm gay."

"Wow," she says and brings her hand up to her chest, "Santana I had no ide-"

"Can it Berry, I know you knew, Quinn told me." Quinn gives Rachel a nervous smile. "But, you're my friend, and as much as it kills me to admit that, I just wanted to tell you face to face." I say more sincerely.

"I am honored-"

"But please don't say anything obnoxious to Brittany because we're not really a thing yet," I faintly hear Rachel say I knew it under her breath but I choose to ignore it.

"You have my word Santana," she promises.

I give her a smile in thanks.

Rachel gives Quinn a look and then they both stand up. They both come toward me with outstretched arms, and before I can move out of the way, I am wrapped up in a giant hug, my body smashed between Rachel and Quinn.

/

"Oh god," I moan. "That feels so good." I roll my head to the side. Okay, so now I know Brittany's hands are made of magic. Brittany shifts her position on top of me a little, her hands going lower. "Shit," I breathe out.

"You know, Santana, it would feel even better if you took your bra off," I turn my head a little to peek at her, she has a sly smile on her face. "Just a thought," she shrugs.

"You're so bad," I say, stuffing my face back into the pillow.

Brittany leans in close to my ear, "mmm," she hums, "but you like it."

I don't protest because, yeah, I do like it. I really like it when her hands are doing what they are doing right now. Brittany hits a particularly good spot that causes me to let out a loud moan.

"San, I think you have a bad back," she says from above me. "This is like the tenth massage I've given you in the past two days."

"Or maybe I just like getting massages from you," I counter.

Brittany rolls off my back and lays down beside me, folding her arms across her chest. "Oh, yeah, no I get it. You are using me for my hands."

I turn to lay on my side to face her and smile, "they are really amazing hands," I smirk.

Brittany puts on a frown and dramatically looks away from me. "Aww, Britt, I was only kidding," I coo. She still doesn't look at me though. I lean up on one of my elbows to rest my head in my hand. "Will a kiss make it better?" I smile. She just shrugs her shoulders, and puffs out her lower lip. "Two kisses?" I can see the corners of her lips twitch ever so slightly, but still no movement.

I decide to just see what will happen if I do decide to kiss her. I move so that I am straddling her waist, my face is hovering over hers. I can feel the change in her breathing. It's coming out in shorter bursts as I move closer. She is still looking away from me, trying to keep up her façade. I nudge my nose against the side of her face . I see her faulted a bit, but she just puffs her lower lip out more to compensate for her mistake.

I move forward and kiss her lower lip. Then I move to pepper kisses to the side of her face. Then to the other side, until, finally, she smiles.

"You play dirty," I sigh into a kiss.

She hums something I don't understand before adding, "but you started it," she says as her hands sneaks it way under my shirt, nails lightly scratching at my skin.

"Uh- Britt," I moan, already feeling transfixed by her touch. We continue to kiss for a few minutes when all of the sudden Brittany stops. "What?" I ask concerned.

"So," she starts pulling her lips into her mouth, "I was thinking- or talking to Rachel and well- she- I think she knows about us, but I didn't say anything I promise."

I just smile down at her for a moment, "wait, did you just stop making out with me to talk about Rachel?" I ask seriously, "because Berry will not cock block me- or whatever you call it with two girls."

"No- I- wait, you're not mad?" Her brows furrow together.

I sit up on the bed. Brittany follows me, "look, Britt. I know I said that I need time to sort everything out and that's true, but I'm not scared of people finding out. I mean, I was at first, but I have been working on accepting this part of myself for a really long time now, and I think I'm at the point where I have, so I don't really care about people finding out. I was with Quinn, and maybe my dad and sister and the rest of my family, but everyone else can just fuck off if they don't like it."

"Really?" Brittany asks, her eyebrows up by her hair line.

"Really," I state, "and I told Rachel that I'm gay. She just kind of guessed something was going on between us. So far everyone has kind of known I am a lesbian. Do I smell like a golf course?" I ask seriously. "I mean how did you know?"

"Uh- well I didn't really," she sits up, so now I am sitting in her lap. Brittany brings her hands up and snakes them about my waist, clasping them together at the small of my back. "but I would probably say it had something to do with you always checking me out when you thought I wasn't looking," she smirks.

I scoff, bringing my hand up to my chest, "I did no such thing." Brittany gives me a pointed look, indicating that she is calling my bullshit. "You're hot," I try to defend myself.

She rolls her eyes at my lame excuse. "I honestly don't know," she shrugs, "I guess it is just something about you, but I'm glad you have accepted yourself. I think that's the hardest part. I know it was for me."

"I thought you said you didn't care who you kissed or whatever."

"Well I didn't... eventually. It still freaked me out when I was attracted to some of my friends. I just got tired of feeling ashamed of something I shouldn't be ashamed about."

I remember having the same thoughts. It was kind of a back and forth for a while. Some days I would be fine with admitting to myself that I was attracted to women, but then other days, I just wanted it to stop. I just wanted to be like everyone else and even though the world we live in today _says_ that it doesn't matter, we all know that, on some level, it does.

"But, what about me made me different than Quinn or Rachel?" I ask.

"Other than the fact that you're a lesbian?" She says, her face amused.

I slap her arm, "I'm bring serious," I giggle.

"Honestly?" She takes a deep breath, "well, I don't really know how to explain it. I felt drawn to you," she shrugs. "I know that sounds cliché, but I don't know. Maybe it's those deep brown eyes that drew me in," she leans up and captures my lips in hers, but then pulls away before it can deepen.

"But Quinn, she can seem pretty on the fence sometimes," I say while playing with a few strands of Brittany's hair, "and Rachel too. You know, Quinn and Rachel have some weird moments sometimes." Those two have the strangest relationship. I should do some undercover investigating.

"Quinn and Rachel?" Brittany asks, scrunching her face up.

"I don't know," I wave it off.

"Okay, well, Quinn is," she trails off, "interesting, and Rachel really isn't my type and you," she pulls me closer, running her hand up and down my spine, "are just," she stops talking.

"Just what?" I ask when she doesn't speak again.

"Wonderful," she breathes and pulls me into another kiss.

/

"Santana," I hear from out in the hallway. After our talk and, you know making out with Brittany again, I got really tired so we decided a nap was a good idea. "Oh, Santana," Quinn sing songs again.

I groan and roll over into Brittany. I bury my face in the crook of her neck. I can still hear Quinn calling for me in the hallway, but I just tune it out and struggle closer to Brittany.

"San, maybe you should see what she wants." She groans out, "then she'll leave us alone and we can go back to sleep."

Instead of getting up, I just shut my eyes again and reach down to grab the blanket to wrap around our bodies.

"No," I say groggily, "she'll go away."

Just then the door to my bedroom opens and in walks Quinn. "You guys sleep too much," she sighs as she plops down on the bed with us.

There is a long stretch of silence that falls over the three of us. I give Quinn an annoyed glare and I can see Brittany doing the same out of the corner of my eye. Quinn looks back at the two of us with a questioning look on her face, "what?" She asks as though it isn't obvious.

"Well hell, looks like the party is in here," a familiar voice says from the door way.

"Cedes!" I shout from the bed and jump up to give her a hug. I completely forgot she was going to be in town today. "What-why are you here?! I mean, I'm glad you are,"

"Calm down girl! God, what did you have like ten cups of coffee today or something?"

"Only four," I say waving her off.

"Only four," she scoffs. "You're going to end up with high blood pressure if you don't stop that."

"Why you gotta go after my coffee?" I fold my arms across my chest.

"You know," Quinn says from the bed. "Coffee makes her functional, so don't try to get her to kick the habit again. I'm still trying to recover from last time," she shutters.

My first year of college, way back when, Mercedes tried to get me to kick my caffeine habit. I used to live with Mercedes and Quinn, before Mercedes transferred to a different school and she needed a place that was closer. I made it about three days before I couldn't take it any longer and those three days were apparently hell for Quinn. It turns out that it actually does stabilize my mood.

That's something right? It makes me tolerable.

I need my coffee.

_Need._

"And besides we don't want to put hat evil on poor, poor Brittany." She pats Brittany's leg who is now sitting up on the bed, looking like a lost puppy. Probably because our nap was so rudely interrupted by these two and she's still not awake yet.

Oh yeah... Brittany.

"Mercedes, this is- uh..." Shit. Do I call her my friend? I mean, we haven't really talked about this.

Quinn must sense my dilemma, cause she speaks up for me. "This is Brittany," she smiles draping an arm around Brittany's shoulders. Thank god for Quinn.

"I'm Mercedes," she walks over and goes to shake Brittany's hand. Brittany takes it in hers.

"Nice to meet you," she smiles politely at her.

Brittany's hair is still a little disheveled. It always is when she wakes up, but she still looks a little nervous.

"So, you are here because?" I go and take a seat next to Brittany.

"Oh, right, just getting the last of my things from storage."

I snake my arm around Brittany's back. It's hidden because she is still under the covers. I feel her ease up a little bit, but she is still kind of tense.

I give her a concerned look and nudge her with my shoulder. She smiles softly at me, but it's not a full smile. It's not a Brittany smile.

My hand finds its way under the hem of Brittany's shirt. I softly rub the base of her back. I get lost in the feel of her skin. It's always so soft and warm. I have no idea why that surprises me every time, but it does.

"Santana?" Mercedes asks.

My mind snaps back to the other people in the room.

"What?"

"I asked if you wanted to go to dinner tonight. All of us."

Quinn nods at me. "Uh- sure?"

Mercedes does a little bounce in the middle of the room. "Good, it's been too long. Brittany, you are more than welcome to come, if you want," she adds.

Brittany shifts uncomfortably next to me. "I- uh- I actually have something going on tonight, but thank you. Maybe some other time?"

That's weird.

Brittany was going to spend the evening here with me, maybe something came up? Maybe she got a text or something while we were sleeping and she just hasn't told me yet.

Quinn seems to notice something different about Brittany too because she is giving her a weird look. I lean over to Quinn while Mercedes is messing with something on my dresser. "Quinn, can you give us a few minutes?"

She gives me a slight nod.

"Oh my god Mercedes! I have to show you these new boots I bought the other day!" She exclaims while grabbing hold of Mercedes' hands and dragging her out of the bedroom. She closes the door behind her, but not before she throws me a wink.

"Britt?" I say softly. She sucks in her lips and turns her head away from me. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She squeezes her eyes shut and sighs before turning her head toward me. "I-," she starts but then stops. She takes another breath before trying to speak again. "You guys are like- you're all really good friends and I just feel," she seems frustrated that she can't find the right words. "Like I'm intruding sometimes," she finally says.

"Is that what that was?" I ask softly, rubbing circles on her back again. "Well, Quinn likes you," I poke her side, "and Rachel likes you," I poke her side again, "and I guess I kind of like you too," I nudge her with my shoulder.

The side of Brittany's mouth twitch a little bit. "Just kind of?" She says in a small voice.

"Yeah, sometimes you can be too awesome to handle, by other than that? You are just perfect," I boop her nose.

"Perfect huh?" She says. I just nod at her and smile.

"Plus, I could really use you there. They all like to pick on me, I could use someone who is on my side."

"What makes you think I would be on your side?" She giggles.

I playfully push her back. She falls dramatically to the mattress. "So you'll come?" I crawl over her and straddle her waist, pinning her arms above her head.

"So, I'll come," she rolls her eyes at me.

I lean down and give her a gentle kiss. Then I lean closer to her ear, "wanky," I husk out.

/

"So, how's life treatin you all?" Mercedes asks, "and sweet baby Jesus, how did you find this place?" She exclaims.

I laugh because not only is Mercedes my home girl, but she was also my Breadstixx buddy.

We have already gone through two baskets of breadsticks.

"I didn't," I say over a bite, "Britts did." I nudge my head in Brittany's direction.

"Praise," Mercedes waves her hand in the air and says, "You know Brittany, I knew there was a reason I liked you. It's like I could smell it on you."

"Okay," Quinn drawls out, "Mercedes that was weird." She glances at her sideways, "but not nearly as weird as that time when you thought everyone was a cupcake."

"See now, Quinn, we were trying to forget that happened."

Quinn and I start laughing. Brittany lets out a few giggles, but I think it's just out of politeness, otherwise she just looks confused.

"I actually heard about this place from a friend, but after Santana told me about her obsession with breadstixx, I had to bring her here," Brittany speaks up from beside me.

"Oh, I bet Santana _loves_ you then," Mercedes says.

Brittany and I shift in our seats, "you have no idea," Quinn mumbles. Then quickly adds, "where is Rachel? Maybe she got lost?" She says while looking around. As if she actually heard Quinn's call, Rachel appears emerging from the bathroom.

"Did you fall in?" Mercedes asks.

Rachel sighs and plops down in the booth on the other side of Brittany.

Brittany shifts closer to me almost immediately. "Why are you wet?" She brushes off her arm.

"Well," Rachel begins, "you know how I was practicing for my audition for the Mermaid on ice?"

Brittany throws her head in her hands. "You guys seriously have no idea. Yesterday she draped a blue sheet over all the furniture and made me sing 'under the sea' with her."

"Anyway," Rachel sends Brittany a glare, "I was in the bathroom, you know, trying to find my inner mermaid-"

"Hold up," Mercedes chimes in, "did you do this to yourself?" She laughs.

Rachel looks down at the table, "I became her," she exclaims. "Ugh! You guys just don't appreciate true art," she sighs, folding her arms across her chest.

"Speaking of art," I speak. "Are you going to Quinn's showcase Saturday?" I ask Mercedes.

"I wish I could, but I gotta be back before the evening. Need to go to work," oh yeah, I forgot the rest of civilization has jobs.

"How's that going," Rachel speaks up.

Mercedes got a job as a local DJ where she lives. It isn't a big time gig or anything, but she is on really late at night, so they basically told her she could play anything she wanted.

"I thought I told you that Santana," Quinn says.

"Yeah," Brittany says from beside me. "She totally told you the other night. Remember? We were eating dinner and watching a movie."

Oh, see, that's why I don't remember. Because _someone_ was teasing me underneath the blanket when her hand kept coming dangerously close to a certain area.

"Nope," I shrug. "Don't remember," then I give Brittany a pointed glare. After Quinn went to bed than night I basically pounced on Brittany. We still haven't had sex again, but we came awfully close the other night.

"Quinn, I'm so excited to see what you've been working on!" Rachel exclaims. "Is anybody important going to be there?" She asks.

"I don't know," Quinn sighs. "There are rumors, but I don't want to get my hopes up."

"Sugars dad is going to be there," Brittany says. I whip my head in her direction.

"Al Motta is going to be there?" Rachel asks with her jaw dropped.

"Guys?-" Quinn starts.

"The Al Motta?" Mercedes chimes in.

"Guys? Who the hell is Sugar and what's an Al Motta?" Quinn looks so confused.

Surely I have told her about Sugar. I must have.

"Sugar is one of my clients," Brittany tells her.

"Yeah," I say, "and her father has money coming out of his ass."

"So she's rich?" Quinn asks.

"Her father is rich," Mercedes corrects. "And rumor has it he goes around town buying up things for his daughter all the time."

"Yeah, she told me she knew you were going to be showcased and wanted to come out," Brittany informs her.

I wonder why Brittany didn't mention that to me before?

I shrug it off, it probably just never came up, or she didn't think it was important.

Brittany grabs hold of my hand under the table and shoots me a smile.

/

"Told you they like you," I smile into a kiss when we get back later that night. Brittany hums into my mouth, brushing her hands along my collar bone and out to my shoulders to remove my jacket. "It must be that special Brittany charm or something."

She just hums again and starts kissing down to my jaw line.

Why is she doing this again? It's getting harder and harder to control myself and if she doesn't stop-

"Britt!" I gasp as she pushes me back onto her mattress.

She crawls on top of me, her eyes darkened with desire. She quickly removes her own jacket and tosses it to the side of the bed. My hands come up and grasp her waists, my thumbs brushing across the soft flesh underneath her shirt.

Suddenly everything slows down and Brittany and I are just basking in each others company. Her eyes grow heavy as she sways a little on top of me.

"I'm tired," she says from above.

"I'm Santana," I smile back. She lightly slaps my shoulders and rolls over, nuzzling into my side during the process. "Goodnight Tired," I mumble into Brittany's hair, before my eyelids start to get heavy as well.

* * *

**Thanks again for reading! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

I wake up to a rustling noise somewhere around the room. It's still dark, so that means it's either really late or really early in the morning. I turn over to make a grab for Brittany, but when I do, I am met with cold sheets. Confusion sets in as I wonder where she went, but then I feel the bed dip and a warm palm press against the small of my back.

"Hey," she says softly from above me. I groan and turn over to find Brittany dressed in sweat pants and a long sleeve t-shirt with her hair up in a messy pony tail. "You can go back to sleep," she combs through my hair, smoothing her thumb across my cheek.

My eyes fall closed at her touch. "Where are you going?" I mumble into the air.

"Work. I'll be back later," she leans down to give me a kiss before she gets up to grab a sweatshirt off of her desk chair.

"Wait," I say as she is about to head out the door. I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes. Brittany walks back over to the bed and I pull her down, capturing her lips in mine for a deeper kiss. "Have a good day," I mumble against her mouth.

Brittany smiles at me before getting up to leave again.

I check the time on my phone and see that it's five in the morning. My eyes fall shut as I grab the pillow Brittany was sleeping on last night and pull it close to my body, breathing in her scent.

/

The next time I wake up, it's to the sound of a vacuum. I check the time again and see that its only eight. Who vacuums at eight in the morning? What could possess someone to vacuum this early?

Then I remember who's apartment I am at.

I push myself out of the bed, ripping the bedroom door open and storm down the hall.

"Rachel Berry!" I yell, pulling the cord to the vacuum out of the wall.

Rachel spins around and yanks one of her headphones out of her ear.

"What the hell?"

"What are you?" I say, my voice low and threatening.

"What?" she asks innocently.

"Its eight in the morning. How you have not been kicked out of this building is beyond me. You have neighbors, who are probably sleeping still." I throw the cord to the floor.

"They all go to work early. I checked," she smiles at me. I roll my eyes at her and scoff while walking to the kitchen to find a pot of coffee already made. "Brittany made that for you before she left," Rachel calls.

I smile to myself and grab a mug from the cabinet. I pour the hot liquid in the cup and don't even bother putting a splash of milk in there like I normally do. I just bring the cup to my lips and let it burn down my throat and settle in the pit of my stomach. I let out a loud sigh as I take another sip.

"So, is this going to be a reoccurring thing now?" Rachel walks into the kitchen and sits down at the table.

"Is what going to be a reoccurring thing?" I ask.

"You coming over here all the time," she clarifies.

"Why? You are always at my apartment, so it cancels out." I grab a bowl and a box of cereal and join Rachel at the table.

"Are you giving me permission to be at your apartment?" she asks with her eyebrows raised.

"If it means that I get to be alone with Brittany, yes."

"I'll remember this," Rachel narrows her eyes at me.

"Please do," I smile sarcastically at her, taking a spoon full of cereal into my mouth.

I would love to have a night alone with just Brittany and I without having to worry about Rachel or Quinn lurking around the corner.

/

Rachel went to go take a shower a few minutes ago and _thank god_ she did because I was certain that if she told me one more story about her auditions, I was going to kill her. I really don't think people understand that when I say I am not a morning person, I mean I am _not_ a morning person. I don't do mornings, for anything (except school. that doesn't count) and I was already grumpy because Brittany wasn't there to snuggle with and then I had to deal with the vacuum incident and, on top of that, Rachel's pointless stories.

It's amazing how quiet it got when she left the room.

I am flipping through the channels on the TV, when the front door swings open and Brittany stumbles in.

"Oh. My. God." Brittany sighs. "Rachel, Sugar is _crazy_," she says shrugging off her coat. It has gotten really cold lately for this time of year. Its only mid-October and I'm not ready for the cold weather to set in. "Oh, hey Santana. I thought you would still be sleeping." She says.

I smile at her in greeting, but then I feel my head start to pound again and my face scrunches up in pain. "Well, I would be," I say, bringing my fingers up to rub at my temples, "but you know Rachel."

"Aww," she coos, coming to sit next to me on the couch, "did she wake you up?" I puff out my lower lip while nodding my head. Brittany pulls me into her side. "I warned her about that before I left."

"Rachel needs more than a warning, she needs a smack down." Brittany giggles a little at my side. "Does she always vacuum at eight in the morning?"

"Well, not _every _morning, but when she does, it's always early."

"I'm so sorry you have to live with that," I say while leaning my head down on her shoulder.

"She's not that bad," Brittany pokes my sides. "Besides, I've learned to tune most of what she says out. And always, always, _always_ have headphones handy for when she gets in those moods."

I assume Brittany is talking about Rachel's singing moods. I don't really think you could call it a mood, she does it all the time.

"I ran into Quinn this morning," she says after a few moments.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, while Sugar and I were out running. We saw her."

"I didn't know Quinn ran," but then again I have no idea _what _she does in the morning.

"Me either, but I guess she does." She shrugs. I let out a hum in response. "Sorry I had to leave this morning. Sugar said it was an emergency. Apparently she is accompanying her father tonight and wanted one last workout to look extra good."

Extra good _for who_?

How dare she take Brittany away in the early hours of the morning. I went to bed with Brittany and then she wasn't there to cuddle with when I woke up? That's just a world I don't want to live in.

"It's fine Britt," I say, despite my self-pity. She was just doing her job.

I snuggle closer into her.

"I probably smell, I don't know if you should be all up on me. Maybe I should go shower," she insists, trying to pry herself away from me. I just wrap my arms around her torso and pull her closer.

"Rachel is in the shower," I tell her, "and you smell like flowers and sunshine."

"Okay, liar." She starts to try to get up again.

"No!" I laugh. "You owe me sweet lady kisses," I smile over to her, batting my eyelashes.

"Oh yes, I really missed my sweet, sweet lady kisses with you."

"Well, here I am," I lean back dramatically. "Take me," I say bringing my arm to rest over my eyes.

Brittany giggles, but slides over to me nonetheless. She hovers over my body, bracing herself with a hand on either side of my head. She brings one hand up to pull my arm away from my face.

She leans forward and takes my lips in hers, her tongue sliding into my mouth, "mmm" she hums, "cocoa puffs." Brittany deepens the kiss, "lucky for you, I'm crazy for cocoa puffs."

One second I am enjoying kissing Brittany and the next I hear Rachel's annoying voice coming from the hallway. Brittany pulls away before I have time to protest. She scoots to the other side of the couch with her hands folded in her lap and her head hanging low like she was doing something wrong.

Rachel and Quinn are always around at the wrong times.

Always.

Rachel comes traipsing down the hallway as if she didn't just ruin my sweet lady kisses with Brittany.

"Ooh, la la, Rachel Berry in a towel," I call from the couch.

Rachel stops and gasps, "what are you still doing here?" She asks trying to cover herself up. "I took an extra-long shower in the hopes that you would be gone when I got out," she huffs.

"And yet you still manage to ruin my moment," I motion to Brittany.

"Oh, hey Brittany," Rachel smiles at her.

Brittany gives her a short nod.

"Quinn called, she said she needs you," Rachel says to me.

I let out a loud and dramatic groan. I look over to Brittany to give her an apologetic look, but she has already gotten up and is making her way down the hall.

"Wait," I call out to her. I shoot up off the couch, tripping over the pile of blankets that fell off my body. I stumble down the hall, but eventually catch myself on the wall. I grab Brittany's arm just as she is entering her bedroom.

She turns around with a gentle smirk playing at her lips, like she wants to laugh, but she is trying to hold it in. "I'll see you tonight," I say, a little out of breath. I lean up and place a kiss upon her lips, soft and gentle.

I walk back out to the living room, where Rachel is still standing in her towel, "smooth, Santana," she calls.

I don't say anything, I just point my finger at her.

"Here," she walks over to me, "give this to Quinn." Rachel hands me a hair clip. I stare down at it in confusion. "It's my lucky hair clip. This clip," she takes it back in her hands gingerly, "is _the_ clip. The clip that-"

"Yeah," I cut her off, "I'm sure it's a lovely story, but you know, I just don't care." I grab the clip from her hands. "I'll be sure to get this to Quinn."

"Wait," she grabs my wrist, "so, I was going to take Quinn out tonight, you know to celebrate."

"Okay," I say slowly, narrowing my eyes.

"Well, you and Brittany can have your place to yourselves."

That would be perfect. Then no one could interrupt us. I hate having to worry if someone is going to show up. I guess it could be worse though. It could be my dad or something I'm worrying about.

"Uh, thanks?" I say uncomfortably and reaching up to rub my neck. I nervously rub that spot for a couple of seconds, mulling over in my mind whether or not I should ask this question.

"What?" Rachel asks.

"What?" I say back.

"You're doing that thing."

"What thing?"

"Where you get all weird."

"I'm not weird."

"Yes you are."

"No, I'm not."

"What do you want?"

"What makes you think I want anything?" I snap.

"I have a sixth sense."

"What?" I say furrowing my eyebrows together. Rachel folds her arms across her chest, waiting for me. "I need your help," I finally blurt out. Hopefully I don't end up regretting asking Rachel for help.

/

"Quinn!" I shout as I enter my apartment. "What's the emergency?" I step into the living room.

No answer.

I walk down the hallway. Quinn's bedroom door is slightly open. I peek my head inside and see clothes flying in every direction.

"Whoa," I laugh, "what's going on in here?"

"I need my pencil skirt, Santana," she huffs, still tossing clothes everywhere.

"Which one, you own like a thousand of those things. Oh, is it the one with black and white pin stripes?"

"That's the one!" Quinn snaps her fingers.

"I borrowed it the other day. Sometimes I like to look professional." I shrug. "Why, do you need it?"

Quinn gives me a dumbfounded look, "no," she says sarcastically.

"I'll go get it," I huff. I rush into my bedroom to get Quinn's skirt and hurry back into her room. I toss it onto her mattress, but Quinn is still swirling around her room, rifling through her things. "Missing something else?"

"Yeah, my mind."

"Can't help you there Quinny, that's been missing for quite a while now."

Quinn ignores my stab at her and holds up a shirt and a pair of pants to her body, "does this look like I'm trying too hard?"

"Yes," she tosses it aside. "I thought you were wearing the skirt," I say.

"Oh you found it?" She asks, throwing a dress she just pulled out of the closet to the floor.

"What is up with you? You're giving me a headache." I don't think I have ever seen Quinn this worked up before. She is always so calm and collected.

"I have been working on this project for a year. A year! And then Brittany tells me Al Motta is going to be there. Santana, this could be huge. Do you know who he knows?"

"Um... No?"

"Me neither, but I'm sure they're rich and famous art people." Quinn walks over to me and grabs my face between her hands, "this could change my life Santana! Do you understand?" She asks, shaking my head.

"Quinn," I say, grabbing onto her wrists and lowering her hands from my face. "I'm gonna need you to breathe because you are scaring the shit out of me, okay?"

She nods her head, placing her hands on her hips and begins pacing back and forth.

"Shelby called me," she says suddenly.

My head snaps up to look at her. "Shelby called you?"

"She called me."

"Oh shit," my eyebrows shoot up to my hairline. "What did she say?"

"Uh-, she told me that if I wanted, I could visit Beth this summer." Quinn looks down to the floor.

"That's good right? I mean, that's what you wanted."

Quinn takes a deep breath, running a hand through her hair and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. "I don't know, Santana. I want to be a part of Beth's life, but I don't know if I'm ready for that." She worries her lip between her teeth. "I don't want to make her life harder, and I don't want to invade on Shelby's life, I just want to _know_ her."

I sit there for a while, mulling over what Quinn is saying. I wish that I could help her out, but I really have no idea what she is going through.

"Quinn," I finally speak up, "you wanting to get to know who Beth is and be around for her is the best thing that you can do. I think it shows a lot of character, that you don't just want to forget that part of your life."

Quinn lets out a sob from next to me, "but it's never going to be enough," her voice cracks. "I'm always going to want her to call me mom, or to let me teach her how to tie her shoes, or braid her hair before school. I have to sit here knowing that Shelby gets to do all those things for her because I was a _stupid _sixteen year old girl, who listened to her misinformed parents and gave the only good thing in my life away."

I move to sit next to Quinn in her bed. I can feel my throat closing up. I can't imagine what this must feel like to her. Part of me thinks it would be easier to never get to know Beth, but another part thinks that having even just a tiny amount of contact with her would be the greatest thing in the world for Quinn.

"Quinn," I say, "You have a lot going for you and if Beth never knows that you're her mom, well, at least she can say she knows one of the most driven and caring person this planet."

I pull Quinn into a hug. I can hear her sniffling against my side, "it's so weird when you are nice," she laughs out.

"Had to ruin the moment." I look over to her and see a small, but still sad smile on her face. "Hey, if you want me to cancel my plans with Britt tonight, so we can veg out and eat ice cream, I will."

Quinn smiles a little brighter now, "hell no," she exclaims. "You are taking Brittany out and you are going to like it, I will not let you crap out on asking her to be your girlfriend."

"Well, good because I was just bluffing," I lightly shove her shoulder, but a sudden uneasiness sets into my body. I have been playing the scene in my mind since I asked her to go with me. There is a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I realize that she could say no.

"She's gonna say yes, Santana," Quinn assures me, as if she just realized the thought that passed through my mind.

"How do you know?" I ask timidly.

"I can just tell," she shrugs.

/

"This is so fancy," Rachel says, reaching out to touch a sculpture.

"Rachel, no," I say. swatting her hand. "Can't you read?" I point to the sigh in front of her. "Why do we bring you out in public?"

"I've gotta go find my professor to prove that I was here," Quinn says, waving a paper in front of her. She looks over to Brittany and I and then to Rachel. "Rachel come with me," she says and pulls her off into the room.

"This place is so beautiful." Brittany takes a look around the room, spinning in a circle as she takes in the surroundings.

I stand there for a moment, watching Brittany survey the room and realizing that all the most amazing sculptures in the world, all the paintings and landscapes, have nothing on her. She is the most beautiful person I have ever met, in every way possible.

As I am staring there watching her, I want nothing more than to kiss her senseless in front of the whole room, to let them know she came with me. I feel myself stepping forward, my feet leading me where my head can't, but as soon as it starts, my movements come to a halt.

Baby steps.

I should probably ask Brittany to be my girlfriend before I start making daring public displays of affection.

As soon as I think about it, my stomach feels like it's going to implode. My hands get clammy and I can feel the back of my neck start to sweat. I nervously twist the program I got when I entered the building in my hands, just to take my mind off everything.

"San?" Brittany calls from next to me.

"Hmm?" I look over to her. Her face is scanning mine with a worried expression.

"I asked if you wanted something to drink," she states.

Just the mention if liquid makes me realize how dry my throat is right now. I reply to Brittany's question with a slight nod of my head, feeling that if I try to speak right now, nothing will come out.

"Okay, I'll be right back," she walks past me, purposefully running her hands across my shoulders before she makes her way to the bar.

In the absence of my friends, I find myself going from exhibit to exhibit. I stop in front if one in particular that catches my eye. I look at it for a moment with my arms folded across my chest.

It's intriguing and there's just something so tragically beautiful about it. I get so lost in the painting that I don't realize someone is standing next to me until they start speaking.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" The voice pulls me out of my trance.

I turn toward the sound and see a woman standing there in a pant suit, wearing the same awe struck look I just had on my face.

"Yeah," I breathe, turning back to look at it.

"You just don't see art like this anymore. Such passion behind every stroke. It's as if I can feel it." Okay, she _must_ be one of those artsy people. She turns to me and is wearing the brightest smile I have ever seen, it's almost blinding. "I'm Bette Porter," she says extending her hand.

"Santana Lopez," I grab her hand to shake.

"Nice to meet you," another woman with blonde hair comes up next to Bette and whispers something in her ear.

"Alice, this is _not_ that kind of party." She says with her eyes widened.

The blonde looks in my direction and eyes me from head to toe. "Well hello there," she twirls a piece of hair between her fingers.

"Uh- hi." I say awkwardly.

Where the hell is Brittany?

"And who are you?" She asks, her voice high and her tone flirtatious. I've hit on guys before and that is definitely the type of voice you use.

"Santana," I state again, growing more and more uncomfortable.

"I am Alice, Bette's date for the evening," she says hanging off the other woman's shoulder.

"Yeah, unfortunately," Bette responds, "my wife is at home. She couldn't make it out tonight."

Wife?

They're-?

I see a flash of blonde in the corner of my eye before I am greeted with the beautiful sight of Brittany. She hands me a glass.

"I didn't know what you wanted, so I just got you a water. Is that alright?" She asks as she slides up next to me, snaking her arm across my back.

I smile to her, momentary forgetting about the nut cases in front of me. "Yep," I say simply.

"Well, this party has all the pretty ladies here tonight. Am I right girls?" Alice raises her hand in an attempt to give a high five, but me and Brittany just look at her, confused.

Alice gives herself an awkward high five before walking away from us.

"I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse my friend. She is a bit crazy." Bette slides past us to go catch up with her.

Brittany and I turn to each other at the same time and bust up laughing.

"Who were they?" She gets out through a fit of giggles.

"I have no idea," I laugh and turn back to the painting.

Brittany turns with me, "oh wow," she breathes.

"I know," I agree.

/

By the time Rachel and Quinn find us, Brittany and I have made our way around the whole place. There were more than a few times where I have questioned the definition of art, thinking that I could sneeze out a better piece. Brittany assured me that it was actual art every time and that I need to put my "art goggles" on, as she called them.

"Jesus, where have you two been?" I ask. Brittany is hovering close to me, but I can tell she is being careful about how she touches me. I want so bad for her to feel comfortable with whatever, but I know it's my fault that she is hesitant.

"Sorry we were gone so long," Quinn finally speaks, "Rachel got side tracked," she rolls her eyes in the direction of Rachel.

"It looked just like her! Same nose and everything!" Rachel exclaims, pointing toward the doors.

"But you didn't have to chase the poor woman for two blocks, even if it _was_ Barbra."

"Quinn, you need to be one of the crazies if you ever want to meet your idol. That's just how the world works now."

"Ah, she finally admits she's crazy," I chime in.

Brittany stifles a laugh at my side.

As the mocking of Rachel subsides, I can hear that familiar shrill of a voice that can only belong to one person.

"Sugar!" Brittany cheers when she sees her coming. I internally roll my eyes, trying as hard as possible to be polite and to show that I don't actually loath her company.

"Brittany!" Sugar squeals, with equal excitement, coming over with her arms outstretched and places a kiss to each one of Brittany's cheeks. I look over to Quinn and give her a pointed look. Who does that with their 'friends'? Quinn rolls her eyes at me, mouthing that I'm crazy.

After what feels like a century, Sugar finally steps away from us to go stand more toward Rachel. I see Sugar eyeing Brittany still out of the corner of my eye.

In a bold move, which I am still surprised I am doing, I reach my hand out, wrapping it around her elbow and running it down to her hand, until our fingers interlace. It's not a move that goes unnoticed by either Quinn or Rachel as I can see the subtle smiles appear on their faces. I look up to Brittany to gauge her reaction and she has her bottom lip between her teeth, biting down as if she is trying to hide her smile as well.

Then I look over to Sugar and see that she has a smile playing in her lips too. It's not exactly the reaction I thought I was going to get from her.

"So, does anything actually happen at these things? Or do people just look around?" I ask, feeling Brittany's thumb smooth its way over the back of my wrist, it sends a jolt of electricity straight through my body. I don't think I've ever held hands with someone before, which seems impossible, but I was never the touchy feely type of person.

"Well, a little later there will be a moment where all the artists have to stand by their work. There will be like a Q&A type thing where we explain our piece to whoever is interested," Quinn informs everyone.

"So, I will finally get to see what you have been working on?" I ask excitedly.

"You already have," Rachel cuts in.

"We have?" Brittany whispers into my ear. "I had no idea." I pull back to look at Brittany's face and see an evil smirk. We both laugh to ourselves.

"I know that Rachel," I say turning back to her, "but I mean, I don't know which one it is."

"You'll just have to wait and see," Quinn smirks.

"I'm gonna go get another drink," Brittany whispers into my ear. I give her a nod and a second later Sugar announces that she is going to get a drink too.

I try as hard as I possibly can to not look in the direction of Brittany and Sugar, but eventually my eyes wander that way on their own. When I look over to the bar, there is no sign of Brittany. I quickly look around. Maybe she is walking back? As I am scanning the room, my eye catches onto the familiar blonde hair and there is another head of hair, too.

Sugar is holding both of Brittany's hands in hers, smoothing her thumbs out over the edge of her wrists and making my stomach drop straight to the floor. Brittany gives Sugar a timid nod and then Sugar is pulling Brittany into a hug.

I feel my throat close up and my eyes sting a little. I tear my gaze away when I see them walking toward us again. Sugar is wearing a huge grin on my face like she just didn't make a move on my date and Brittany is being uncharacteristically jittery. She is wringing her hands together in front of her.

When she gets closer to me, she grabs hold of my hand. It settles something inside of me, but Brittany is still acting all nervous and its making me nervous.

Brittany gives a little tug on my hand, pulling me off to the side while Quinn, Rachel and Sugar continue to talk. I can still see the looks that Sugar is throwing our way and it's starting to make me really uneasy.

I grit my teeth together, my fists balling up at my sides.

"Santana I-" Brittany begins, but I just need to get away for a moment.

"I gotta go to the bathroom," I mumble and step away from Brittany before turning to walk toward the restroom.

When I get into the bathroom, I walk over to the sink, bracing myself on its edge. I turn on the water and splash a little on my face. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just get this weird feeling about Brittany and Sugar's relationship. She is always with her and I know that she is Brittany's best client, and if I were Brittany I would take all the sessions with Sugar too just to get the extra money, but _why _is Sugar paying her so much more money than the rest of Brittany's clients?

Is it so she can spend more time with her?

I need Quinn.

I walk out of the bathroom and back to where the group is standing. I grab Quinn's arm and drag her away. I briefly see Brittany flash me a concerned glance, but I'm not thinking clearly right now, so I just ignore it and ignore the feeling in my stomach that tells me that was probably a shitty thing to do.

"What the hell?" Quinn screeches, tearing her arm away from my grip.

"Tell me you don't think there is something up with Sugar and Brittany," I say, pacing back and forth across the empty hallway.

"Santana, calm down," Quinn starts to say.

"Did you see the way she was looking at her?" I ask. "She kept looking at us, like she was going to off me so she could have Brittany."

"Okay, look you want my opinion?" Quinn asks sharply. I stop pacing when I hear the tone in Quinn's voice. It's her 'no bull shit' tone. "Even if Sugar has a 'thing' for Brittany, it doesn't matter." I am about to protest that it _does _matter, but Quinn speaks again before I have the chance. "It doesn't matter because Brittany came here with _you_," she jabs me in the chest with her finger. "I know you are afraid Santana and you are trying to find a reason to back out of asking her to be with you, but you need to stop it. Don't deny yourself happiness just because you think Sugar might like Brittany."

She finishes with her chest heaving up and down and my head hangs down in embarrassment. It _is_ a little foolish, but I can't help the way I feel.

"Are you good now?" she asks breathlessly, still breathing heavy from her rant. I nod my head sheepishly. Quinn comes up and puts her hands on my shoulders. She looks me dead in the eye. "Just talk to her woman!" Quinn steps away from me and starts walking back out to the gallery. Before she makes it to the end of the hall, she turns around. "For what it's worth, I think you are just being paranoid."

I take a few moments to collect myself, trying to calm myself down. With the way I am acting, you would think that I was going to purpose to Brittany tonight. I have never been this nervous about anything before in my life.

When I walk back out into the main room, I find Rachel and Brittany standing off to the side by themselves.

"Where did Quinn go?" I ask, sliding up next to Brittany and nudging her with my shoulder.

"She went to talk to a friend," Brittany answers, then she turns into my side and leans up closer to my ear. "Are you all right?"

I pull back to take a look into her eyes. "Yeah," I breathe, chanting Quinn's words in my head that she came here with me, as _my _date and it makes me feel all warm inside, like nothing else matters because she came with _me._ "Yeah," I repeat again, a smile stretching across my face.

/

"You hungry?" I ask, twisting my key in the door to my apartment.

"Very," Brittany says, grabbing her stomach. I open the door and motion for her to step inside.

"I ordered Chinese, is that okay," Brittany slides her coat off and I extend my hand, reaching out to take it from her. Rachel told me Brittany loved Chinese, which I should have already known, seeing as her favorite restaurant is Chang's, but I blanked.

"I love Chinese," she states as I hang her coat up on the rack by the door. Brittany walks over to the couch and takes a seat. "How cool was tonight?" Brittany calls.

I grab two sodas from the fridge and join her in the living room. I set the cans on the coffee table and drop down next to her, letting out a loud sigh in the process.

"It was so cool," I say remembering the night.

"I bet Quinn is still flipping out. Did you see the look on her face? Priceless."

"Yeah," I laugh. "I still can't believe that happened." I run my hand through my hair. I hate the way it feels after walking outside on such a windy day.

It turns out that that woman I talked to while I was looking at, what I later found out was Quinn's painting, is actually some sort of art guru. She said she was in town to talk business with Al Motta to see if she could get some funding from his company and he invited her to the art show this evening. She ended up buying Quinn's piece for seven hundred dollars.

It was beautiful, don't get me wrong, but I could never pay that much money for a _painting_, let alone a painting from a random college student, but whatever. Quinn is happy and now she and Rachel have spending money for their night out tonight.

Brittany sits back, opening up her can of soda and taking a long sip. I look over at Brittany, sitting peacefully not more than a foot away from me. What happened earlier is still burned into my mind.

I don't have time to dwell on it in the moment because the buzzer sounds, meaning that the food has arrived.

We sit around the coffee table on the ground to eat our dinner.

_Just talk to her_, Quinn's words echo in my mind.

Thank you, Jedi master Quinn. If it were that simple, then all the mystery in the world would be gone. I decide that I should just ask though.

"So," I begin. I have to make this sound causal, like it's no big deal, even though on the inside I am dying to know. "Does Sugar have a crush on you, or something?" I take a bite of food, looking at the noodles as if I don't care what her answer will be.

It never occurred to me, until this very moment, that maybe Brittany likes Sugar. The way she is always talking about her and spending time with her, sure she is her personal trainer, but you never know. It's not like I could be mad at her if she did like Sugar though, we're not together. Although, _we are_ something, just not technically exclusive.

Brittany throws her head back in laughter. Taken aback by her response, my face scrunches up. "I'm sorry," she waves her hands in front of her. "No, she doesn't." I relax in my seat, letting out the breath I was holding in. "She is actually pretty adamant about us being together though, which I find a little strange, but whatever," she shrugs.

"Then what was that earlier, when you guys were talking she was hugging you and stuff." I ask.

"Oh that," Brittany wrings her hands together, "she was giving me a pep talk," she admits nervously.

"A pep talk?" Why would Brittany need a pep talk.

"Yeah," she rubs the back of her neck, then her eyes snap up to mine. "Were you jealous?" She asks.

It's my turn to squirm under her gaze.

Was I jealous?

About my date hugging another woman?

Of course I was!

"No," I say through a scoff, "I mean, we're not technically together," I point out, immediately regretting it as I see Brittany's face fall ever so slightly. "If you want to see other people,-"

"I don't," Brittany interjects.

"Okay, good," I breathe out, "because I don't want you to." I feel my palms starting to sweat. "And uh- I don't want to either," I add.

Brittany's face turns up, a small smile playing at her lips. "You don't?"

I shake my head, biting my lower lip. "So, I was wondering," I start, feeling my voice quiver as I bring a hand up to run through my hair again, a nervous habit surfacing, "if maybe, you would, you know, be my girlfriend?" I finish the last three words quickly.

"Girlfriend huh?" She asks. My heart is hammering in my chest as I wait for her answer.

The silence is too much as I am just sitting here, so I start backtracking. "If you don't want to that's fine. I just thought that since we-"

I am cut off by a pair of warm lips against my own. Brittany kisses me soft and slow, drawing out every movement with care and patience, until I feel my whole body relax into her. Her hands are cupping my checks, thumbs smoothing over my cheek bones, causing me to melt into the floor. She pulls away slowly, my eyes peeling open, one by one, until I find a deep blue staring back at me.

"No," she says slowly, "I don't want to be your girlfriend." I stare at her, mouth agape as I wait for an explanation, but it never comes.

Brittany leans back and I feel my heart sink into my chest. I can't even move as I watch her bring her chopsticks up to her mouth to take another bite.

"Can you get me another soda?" She asks, like she didn't just blow me off. My mind is still flooded with confusion and a second later she adds, "girlfriend."

I lunge forward and pepper her face with kisses, causing her to fall back onto the floor. I lean up and slap her shoulder, "why the hell would you do that?" I say, my heart still beating widely from the fear of losing Brittany. I cross my arms over my chest and look away from her.

A few laughs bubble out from deep within her throat. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that," she reaches up, peeling one arm away from my body, causing me to unfold my arms across her chest. I reluctantly let her grab hold of my hand. "Ask me again," she begs, "please?"

I roll my eyes at her, but look down at her face, she is wearing that damn pout again. The one that makes my heart clench in my chest. I smile despite myself, seeing the corners of her mouth twitch up ever so slightly.

"Fine," I huff. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Brittany pulls me down by my arm, so that I am hovering over her again. She leans up, so that she is almost touching my lips with hers. "Yes," she breathes into the space. I lean forward a fraction of an inch, until or lips finally touch.

"Yes?" I mumble against her mouth.

"Yes," she sighs back. Then she pulls away, searching my eyes with hers. "You're cute when you're nervous," she boops my nose.

"I wasn't nervous," I scoff.

"It's okay Santana," Brittany coos. "Can I tell you a secret," she asks, playing with a strand of my hair. "Sugar kept telling me that I should just ask you to be my girlfriend. But then I kept telling her that I wasn't going to push you into anything because I wanted you to be ready. Oh and I accidentally told Sugar that I liked you, and I _was_ going to ask you out tonight and that's why I was all fidgety."

I smile down at her. "I wasn't nervous," I repeat, brushing my nose against hers again and again, until I stop to take her lips between mine.

"So, how bout that soda?" Brittany nips at my lower lip, catching it between her teeth and pulling gently.

"Seriously?" I groan.

"Girlfriend duties," she says sitting up, so I roll off of her and onto the floor.

I peel myself off the floor before I get up and start making my way into the kitchen to get Brittany her _much needed_ soda except that I don't make it past the couch before Brittany is grabbing my wrist and pulling me back into her. Our bodies crash together, one hand immediately coming up to warp around my neck, the other cups my cheek.

"Soda-" I manage to get out, pointing behind me to the kitchen.

Brittany guides my mouth to hers, shaking her head in the process. "Forget about the damn soda," she husks against my lips. Her hands trail down my sides, as she deepens the kiss, moving past the sides of my breasts and past my waist where her hands wrap around the back of my thighs.

In the next instant, I am lifted off the ground, my ankles wrapping around Brittany's waist and a surprised squeal escaping my lips. A new heat is blooming throughout my body, but especially between my legs. Brittany walks forward until I feel my back slam against the wall.

I hiss at the pain and Brittany mumbles an apology as she continues to kiss me desperately and full of want. Brittany kisses from my lips down to my neck and begins sucking and nipping at the flesh there.

"Bedroom," I groan and Brittany pushes off the wall, one arm coming to wrap around my back as she walks toward my bedroom. When we stop at the door, I reach down with my hand and turn the knob, causing us to stumble into my room and toward the bed where Brittany lets me fall gently to the mattress.

She crawls on top of me, ridding herself of her shirt in the process and bunches mine up and over my breasts, until I have to sit up to get it the rest of the way off. Brittany leans down right away and begins kissing and kneading my chest. Her hands smooth over my sides, down my abs, until she is fumbling with the zipper of my pants.

My mind doesn't even have time to register what is happening before all of my clothes are discarded onto the floor. Only when Brittany moves away from me to remove her own clothes do I even realize that mine are off, except for my underwear.

"Fuck," Brittany whispers with her back to me. I lift my head off the mattress, my chest still moving up and down rapidly.

"Need some help?" I offer, noticing that she is having trouble with the zipper on her jeans.

"I got it," she waves me off.

Instead of listening to her, I crawl over to the edge of the bed, sliding my arms around her torso and stopping the motion of her hands.

"I bet you do," I husk into Brittany's ear, moving my hands to cover hers. I stay like that for a while, holding her from behind.

I remove my hands from hers and begin tracing the outline of her jeans until my fingers find the belt loops. I hook my fingers in the loops and pull Brittany closer against me. She feels so good pressed up against me like this. As her body collides with mine I hear her breath catch in her throat. I smirk a little to myself, knowing that I am the one doing this to her.

Brittany spins around to face me, her hand coming up to trace across my jaw. She leans in and kisses me, more tender than before, but still with the same desire. My hands move to undo the button on her pants, popping it open and pulling the zipper down ever so slowly. When it reaches the bottom, I pull away from Brittany, breaking our kiss, to give her a satisfied smirk.

"Thanks," she smiles at me, resting her forehead against mine.

Something changes in the room, it's no longer frantic, though my heart is still beating as fast.

I take a breath and swallow hard, trying to mentally prepare myself for this.

Even though Brittany and I have already slept together, I still haven't pleasured _her_. I have wanted to, so bad, ever since that night. Now I finally have the opportunity, but the nerves are staring to sink in.

Like with everything though, Brittany is there to take the bad feelings away and replace them with butterflies and racing hearts.

Brittany grabs my face in her hands again, connecting our lips and smoothing her thumbs over my cheeks. She starts moving forward, gently pushing me back with the force of her body until we are kneeling in front of each other on the bed.

Brittany pulls away from me, breaking the kiss and resting her forehead against mine. Her breath is still heavy, hitting hotly against my face.

My hands, which are still on Brittany's hips, start roaming over her body, lightly tracing her soft skin. I bring my hand up between our bodies, placing it above her heart and flattening my palm against her. I can feel her erratic heartbeat, which makes me feel a little better knowing that I'm not the only one who is feeling like this, so breathless and unable to control my heart.

Brittany grabs hold of my hand that resting over her heart and laces our fingers together as she lays me down on the bed.

I lean up, bringing our mouths together. Brittany palms my breast, kneading the flesh between her fingers and pinching my nipple lightly. My back arches up into her touch as she pushes her hips down into mine, hitting my center in just the right spot.

It's too much and not enough at the same time.

The need to touch and feel Brittany becomes too overwhelming as I hook my finger in her belt loops again and pull her into me at the waist. We start rocking together, my hands eventually making their way into the back of Brittany's pants, trying to lower them, though not really succeeding. Brittany wiggles her hips, trying to help me out. I get the down past her ass and she kicks them off the rest of the way.

I flip us over so that I am on top of Brittany now. She is wearing a curious look. I smirk at her, lifting up one of my eyebrows, then I start kissing down her chest and make my way to one of her breast where I kiss around the soft mound. My hands roam down her sides, feeling each one of her ribs, and then across her toned abs. Each time I go lower Brittany's chest rises and falls a little faster.

I finally make it to where I wanted, ghosting my hand across her center ever so lightly. A frustrated moan leaves Brittany's mouth. My mouth is still working on Brittany's breast, as I press a little firmer with the tips of my fingers while swirling my tongue around her nipple.

Brittany's hips rise off the mattress as she begins pulling her underwear down her legs. When I finally realize what she is doing, I lean back on my heels and help her take them off the rest of the way and toss them somewhere on the floor.

I take this moment to look over her body. She is so beautiful right now that my breath actually catches in my throat. My room is dark save for a tiny sliver of light that is coming in through the window, lighting up the room just enough.

Brittany is staring up at me, biting her lip with her hands nervously fidgeting with the blankets at her sides. My heart beats wildly as I crawl back on top of her, our bodies fitting together perfectly as our mouths connect once more.

I know Brittany must be dying for me to touch her because I feel the same way. My core is throbbing. I reach my hand down, smoothing down her stomach, feeling each twitch and change in breathing the lower I get.

When my hand finally reaches Brittany's center she lets out a loud sigh, her breath quivering. Brittany's eyes fall closed when my hand brushes across her clit and down to her entrance.

My mind goes blank as I realize just how wet she is. I coat my fingers in her wetness before sliding them back up to find her clit again. My movements are clumsy at first, but eventually I fall into a slow rhythm as I make slow circles and just get lost in the moment.

Brittany pinches her eyes shut and turns her head to the side. I have never seen anything so sexy in my life.

I reach out with my other hand, running my fingers across her jaw until I cup her cheek. I guide her face back to mine so I can kiss her again, pushing my tongue into her mouth and licking around her teeth. Needing to ease some of the tension in my own body, my hips start grinding down on Brittany's leg.

Brittany's hand sneaks its way into my underwear, causing me to let out a low moan, my hand momentarily stops moving. It becomes heated quickly, as we begging grinding up into each other's hands.

I start making tighter, firmer circles between Brittany's legs. She starts squirming beneath me and pressing her mouth harder against mine. Brittany takes my bottom lip between her teeth and tightens her grip around my shoulder. As her breathing gets faster and faster, she stops moving her hand between my legs. I pull back to look at her when her body suddenly freezes and a strangled moan escapes her lips. Her legs start shaking and I can't help but look at her in wonder, this is seriously the hottest thing I have ever seen.

I slow the movement of my hand as I watch her body relax and her breathing get a little deeper.

All is still for a few moments, the only sound filling the room is our heavy breathing. Then Brittany is flipping me onto my back with an impressive amount of strength as she starts working the hand between my legs even faster than before.

My toes curl as I feel my orgasm approaching, but the movement around my clit stops just as I'm about to come. I let out a frustrated groan as I open my eyes to see Brittany smirking on top of me.

The look in her eyes makes my stomach flutter. She leans in closer to my face, "can I try something?" She breathes, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. As she says this, her hand moves lower and I feel a slight pressure against my entrance.

The look on Brittany's face is so gentle and trusting that I find myself nodding and rolling my hips forward so that the very tips of her fingers enter my body. My eyes widen at the feeling. Brittany pushes two fingers in slowly, pulling a groan out from deep within my chest.

She never breaks eye contact as she slides her fingers all the way in, until they can't go any further. Then she is pulling them out, just as slow, causing my mouth to fall open and my brows to furrow together.

After a few moments Brittany starts to pick up the pace getting faster and faster. I can feel my walls squeezing around her fingers. Brittany reaches for one of my hands that is holding onto the sheets beside me and laces our fingers together, bringing it up to rest above my head.

"Britt!" I gasp when Brittany's thumb comes to rub at my clit. She curls her fingers inside of me, hitting a spot that makes a tingle spread down to my toes. She keeps curling and rubbing and I am getting closer and closer almost to the point where it's painful, but in the best way possible. She goes just a little faster and rubs just a little harder and it's enough to cause my entire body to convulse as I come hard against her hand. As hard as I try to contain the cry in the back of my throat, I can't. It just spills out of me, echoing throughout the room.

Brittany kisses down my neck and rests her head against my chest, turning her head to press a lingering kiss above my heart. She stays like that until my breathing is back to normal.

When she looks up at me, it's with a new light in her eyes. "hi," she says simply, running her finger tips up and down my arm.

"Mmm," I mumble, "hi yourself," I pull her closer to my body. I feel Brittany shiver on top of me. "Let's get under the covers."

She rolls off of me and I grab the corner of the comforter and pull the cover back. Brittany snuggles in close to my side. I let my hand comb through her hair. A few minutes later I hear her breathing get deeper. I let out a yawn, finally closing my eyes while breathing in the sweet smell of Brittany.

The last thought to play through my mind is that she said yes.

* * *

**Thank you guys for the kind words. It makes me smile. **

**As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it**

**:)**


	12. Chapter 12

When I wake up the next morning, it's to a tickle on the side of my face. I scrunch my face up in confusion, trying to make the sudden disturbance go away without actually doing anything.

I don't want to wake up yet, not when my dreams are filled with Brittany, my girlfriend. I don't think I have ever been this happy before in my life, excluding that one time when I was six and I got a microphone for Christmas. It wasn't real or anything, but I remember being absolutely overjoyed.

I think this is better than some silly, plastic microphone though.

I feel the tickle on my face again, but this time my hand comes up to slap it away on reflex. I hear a light laugh from somewhere above me. My eyes slowly peel open, blinking away the sleep and find something you could never just dream up, right before me.

"Please don't tell me you are an early bird," I groan, but there is a soft smile playing at my lips. Brittany lowers herself at my side, running her hand across my back and placing a kiss to my shoulder.

"If you call eleven early, then guilty," she smiles at me.

It feels like it's a lot earlier than that, "well, good morning beautiful," I stretch my neck to peck her lips.

"Mmm," she hums, "morning."

I roll onto my side and snuggle into Brittany. I snake my arm underneath her head where I toy with the hair at the nape of her neck. One of her hands comes to rest on my hip bone, making lazy circles with the pads of her fingers.

I never wanna leave this bed again. I think this could work, we can just kiss and have amazing sex for the rest of our lives. I would be completely fine with that.

Seems as if nature has different plans though because as soon as the thoughts leave my mind Brittany's stomach is growling. I'm a little hungry too, but I really, really don't wanna get up.

Another few minutes pass filled with lazy kisses and gentle touches before I hear her stomach roar.

"Okay," I say, tapping her butt, "I'm gonna make you pancakes," I give her a peck on the lips. "With strawberries," I give her another peck, "and a steaming cup of coffee."

If possible her stomach growls even louder at the mention of food.

"Best. Girlfriend. Ever." She sighs before leaning in to give me a long kiss.

Just the sound of her saying girlfriend makes my stomach flip and a huge smile to stretch across my face. I grab the sides of her face and pull her closer to me until our noses are smushed together.

"Say it again," I beg her, it just sounds so good.

"Girlfriend," Brittany mumbles, bringing our mouths together for another kiss. Her tongue sneaks its way into my mouth, softly caressing mine where I can taste the bitterness of sleep.

It takes about another half hour until we actually get out of bed and into the kitchen to eat breakfast.

I go to get the griddle down to make a batch of pancakes, stretching my body as much as I can, but I can't reach it.

"Need some help?" Brittany asks from behind me, sliding her hands under the hem of my shirt, snaking them around to the front to rest on my stomach. I turn around in her embrace and nuzzle my face into her neck. Brittany keeps her arms wrapped around me, holding me close to her body.

Brittany seriously has the best scent in the whole world. I have never smelled anything so wonderfully perfect and warm and peaceful in my entire life. I get the strangest sense of relaxation whenever I breathe her in.

She is the world's greatest drug.

Brittany reaches up and over me to get the griddle that is sitting on top of the cabinets. She reaches it with ease and sets it down behind me on the counter.  
"Thank you," I mumble into her. I take in one last big breath, savoring in her sweet smell before I push away from her body.

"How many do you want?" I walk over to the pantry to get some ingredients.

"I'm so hungry," she groans, dropping her head to the counter. We didn't exactly finish our dinner last night because we kind of got distracted, so I can only imagine how hungry she is. Well, I am hungry too so I guess I know how she feels.

Brittany walks over to the sink and looks out the window. "It looks like it's going to storm," she says wearily.

I turn my head a little to see that she is still looking out of the window with a worried expression.

"You're not afraid of storms are you?" I ask lightly, a little teasing lacing my tone.

"Only when it gets really bad," she admits.

"Well," I saunter over to Brittany, grabbing her by the waist. "I can protect you," I assure her, "or at the very least, I can distract you," I wink.

Brittany shakes her head at me and goes to sit at the table. I walk back over to the griddle to keep making our pancakes. While the next stack is cooking, I grab some whip cream and strawberries from the refrigerator and some syrup.

"How's your mom doing?" I call over my shoulder.

Brittany has her head resting in her hands when I look over to her. "She is doing okay," she tells me. "I think she is just really tired, but she is really excited to see everyone for thanksgiving."

Holiday season.

Great.

I have always hated Holiday season. It's just a sad reminder that things aren't the way they used to be.

"Oh, you are going home for thanksgiving?" I ask her, trying not to sound too disappointed at the prospect of not seeing Brittany for a while.  
We just started dating and I don't know what the protocol is for family events. Do we spend the holidays together? Or do we do our own thing? I just don't know.

"Yeah," she says and I feel my shoulders fall slightly. "Thanksgiving is the holiday for my family. My mom and dad cook a huge meal and the whole family comes over to my house." A minute later she adds, "are you not going back to Ohio for thanksgiving?"

I turn back to the pancakes to take them off the griddle, "uh- no. We kind of do our own thing here- Rachel, Quinn and I," I tell her. "Too expensive to go back home," that's half the truth.

It is really expensive, but I leave out the part where I don't go back because I'm afraid to go back, even now after talking to my dad and sister again. They are just one piece of the puzzle. There is still the whole other side to the Lopez family.

"Ah," Brittany nods. "Well, what about Christmas?" She asks, a little hope in her voice.

"Um-" I start. I haven't been home for Christmas since I left for college. I'm kind of a sad sack on Christmas. I am usually alone because Rachel and Quinn go home for a week or two. I just stay here and mope around.

But I am trying to reconnect with them and I have to start somewhere. Maybe going home for Christmas won't be such a terrible thing.

"I only ask because Christmas is my favorite Holiday. And uh- I kind of stay home for three weeks," she says looking down to the table.  
Three weeks?

Damn.

"I don't know," I say honestly. I haven't even thought about that yet.

She doesn't ask again, so I figure she has moved on from that question, at least for now.

I walk to the table with two plates and set one in front of Brittany.

"God this smells amazing," she sighs.

I hand the bottle of syrup to her. She drowns her pancakes in it before she hands the bottle back to me. I take it from her and make a little pool of syrup off to the side.

Brittany stares at me with her mouth hanging open, "what?"

"What is that?" She motions to my plate.

I furrow my brows together, not understanding what she is talking about.

"My food?"

"You don't like syrup?" She asks.

My eyes squint together, "I do," I say carefully and point to the spot on my plate where there is a pool of syrup. "I just don't like it as much as you apparently," I joke.

Brittany grabs the can if whip cream, shaking it for a moment before she opens it and draws a smiley face on her pancakes. "It's my fourth favorite topping," she tells me.

"Your fourth?"

"Uh-huh," she plops a strawberry into her mouth. "First is sprinkles, then chocolate chips, then pepperoni and then syrup."

"You have some sweet tooth," I laugh.

She just shrugs in response.

We eat our breakfast together in relative peace, trading shy glances every so often. I have the warmest feeling in the pit of my stomach right now.  
All of this is so unreal.

/

"Do you have anything to do today?" Brittany asks while we are laying on the couch.

I think we both over estimated how hungry we were and ate way too much food.

"Nope," I say happily.

"Me either," Brittany says, bringing her arm up to sling across my shoulders where she pulls me into her side. "So, what do girlfriends do when they both don't have anything to do?" She asks, tapping on her chin.

"They let their food digest before they do anything too crazy," I groan, holding my stomach.

"I told you to stop after the fifth pancake," she reminds me. They were just so good, I couldn't.

"Yeah, yeah" I mumble, nuzzling my face in her neck.

I hear the soft patter of rain as it hits the window just off to our sides. I look out the window and see that it has gotten considerably darker than it was a few minutes ago.

"We could go play in the rain," Brittany suggests.

I turn back to face her and look at her with my eyebrows furrowed together. "You want to play in the rain?" I deadpan, still not wanting to move.  
"I like the rain," she tries to reason.

"But it's cold out there," I say, wrapping my arms around her middle and pulling. "And it's so warm in here," I husk, grabbing a fistful of her t-shirt (which is actually my t-shirt).

Brittany looks down at me, her brows furrowed together like she is trying to decide if she wants to stay in or go out. It's so adorable that I find myself pushing off the couch and holding my hand out for her to take. She looks at me, the tiniest smile playing at her lips. I roll my eyes playfully at her as she grabs hold of my hand and gets up off the couch.

Brittany opens up the screen door that leads to the very tiny porch we have. She walks out into the rain and looks up at the sky. I stand in the doorway watching her for a few moments before she notices that I haven't joined her and she turns around.

"You coming?" She asks.

"Yeah," I tell her, but still don't move. My body shivers just thinking about the rain. I reach out my hand to feel the rain drops and, just as I suspected, it's freezing. Brittany grabs my hand and pulls me forward, my body crashing into hers in the process. She wraps me up in her arms.

"How are you not cold?" I say, my teeth chattering. I reach back with one of my arms and close the door behind me.

"I was born in Ohio," she states, shrugging her shoulders slightly.

"So was I?" I say as a question because I don't really know how that makes you immune to the cold. If anything, Ohio made me hate he cold.

"I don't know, maybe I'm just warm-blooded." She says, rubbing her hands up and down my arms to keep me warm. "I've always wanted to dance in the rain," she says after a few moments.

"Yeah?" I ask, my face still squished into her chest.

"Mhm," she answers and starts swaying back and forth.

"This isn't dancing," I mumble into her chest, trying to stay as close as possible so I don't freeze to death.

"Sure it is," she counters. Brittany wraps me up in her arms again, so that I am almost completely covered by her body.

I look up to her face and see the tiny raindrops rolling down her skin. I reach my hand up between our bodies and wipe away a few drops from her lips, my thumb smoothing over her bottom one.

Just as I am about to lean up and kiss her, it starts pouring down rain. I jump back a little in surprise.

"Can we go back in now," I shout, trying to cover myself from the pelting rain.

Brittany laughs, but nods her head.

I turn to open the door, but its stuck and it won't open. I let out a groan of frustration as I try to pull it open again and again, all the while Brittany is laughing from behind me.

"What's so funny?" I call over my shoulder, still trying to open the damn door. "I hate getting wet," I huff.

I feel Brittany's arms slide around my waist and her warm breath is hitting my skin as she whispers, "you didn't mind it last night," into my ear.

I feel my whole body shiver, but now it's for a completely different reason.

She reaches around me and slides the door open with ease. I look to her with a questioning look, but she just shrugs her shoulders at me.

"I honestly don't know why that worked."

"Come on," I pull her inside with me.

It's even colder in here because the fan in the living room is on, so I make a bee line to the wall to flip the switch off. I stand there in the corner, curling into myself to try and get warm, but I'm still freezing.

"We should probably change clothes," I turn to Brittany, who is also shivering now.

"Yeah," she agrees, her teeth chattering a little.

When we get into my room, I immediately pull my shirt over my head and toss it to the floor. I pull out two sweatshirts from my closet and toss one over to Brittany. The rain soaked all the way through to my bra, so I remove that too before I pull the sweatshirt over my head. I find a pair of sweatpants and throw those to Brittany as well.

We go back to the living room where we huddle together on the couch again.

"Okay, maybe that wasn't such a good idea," Brittany says, her body still shivering as she huddles closer to me.

As the first roll of thunder sounds through the apartment, I feel Brittany's body tense next to mine, but then a second later she is fine.

A few minutes past with nothing happening, but then I look out the window in the living room and see a huge flash of lightning. Not second later there is a huge boom.

"That was a big one," I laugh a little, though when I look up to Brittany I see that she has her eyes pinched shut.

"I'll be right back," Brittany shoots up off the couch and sprints into my bedroom.

She comes back a second later carrying my comforter in her arms. She sits down, wrapping the blanket around her body until all I can see is her eyes.  
I sit there for a moment, inwardly laughing at how adorable she is being. The silence must get to her because she turns her entire body so she can look at me because she can't just turn her head.

"What?" She asks, her voice hushed by the covers.

"Are you gonna let me in your fort?" I ask in a serious voice.

"No," she scoffs and after she struggles a minute to get her arms free, she opens up the blanket and invites me in. I scootch over to her, her arms coming to wrap around me in the process. "I was just making sure it was safe."

"Right," I draw out, but I lean in to give Brittany a quick kiss.

When I start to pull away from the kiss, Brittany follows me, so our lips never break apart. Her hand comes up to tangle in the back of my hair, pulling me back in deeper. I shiver, despite the fact that I'm am no longer cold.

When she finally pulls away, I find myself breathless, like I always am whenever she is around. Just her presence makes me stop and marvel at everything she is.

Brittany takes my hand in hers and starts toying with my fingers. I lay my head down on her chest and get lost in her warmth and the sound of her heart. It doesn't take long for my eyes to fall shut and my breathing to even out.

Right when I am about to fall asleep, I hear another crash of thunder. I actually feel it shake the apartment too.

Brittany and I both sit up in the same instant.

"I guess the power went out," I tell her as I look around the apartment and see that there are no lights on. I look over to her and see that her chest is rising and falling rapidly, but the look on her face is calm. I guess the noise just startled her. "I'm going to go find some candles," I tell her, getting up from the couch and walking to the kitchen.

I check all the drawers, wishing I was listening to Quinn when she told me where she kept everything. I eventually find them and head to my room to get two candles.

When I come back, Brittany is curled up in the blanket again only this time she is laying down. I light the candles and go to lay next to Brittany again.

"You made it back," she sighs dramatically, wrapping my up in a crushing embrace.

"Yeah," I laugh, "just barely though."

Another crash rings through the apartment and Brittany tightens her arms around me.

"Santana?" She says.

"Hmm?"

"I'm gonna need you to distract me now."

I lean back from Brittany to better look at her face, my hand coming up to her cheek to smooth across the soft skin. I swallow thickly, as I lean in to kiss her. I grab the top of the cover and pull it over our heads.

"There," I say throatily, "now you can't tell the power is out."

Brittany moves her hand underneath my shirt and smooths it across my flesh. It's a simple gesture, but it sends a shock of electricity through my body.  
"No, I can't," Brittany says just as breathless. "But I still need you to distract me," she says suggestively, swirling her fingertip around my bellybutton.

"Oh," I breathe out, finally understanding what she means. "I can do that," I say as I start to unzip her hoodie. I grab the draw strings and run them between Brittany's breasts, causing her to let out a giggle.

"What are you doing?" She laughs.

I don't answer. I just drop the stings and replace it with my fingertips, until my hands are cupping her breasts. Brittany lets out a shaky breath at the contact. Her breathing gets hotter and heavier when my thumbs brush across her already stiff nipples and as I pinch them between my fingers, she starts rolling her hips into me.

It gets so hot under the cover, to the point where it feels like we are going to run out of air, but I can't pull the cover back, that's half the fun.

I bring our mouths together. My tongue is immediately met by Brittany's as she continues to grind against my leg. I can taste the sweet taste of strawberries and syrup on her tongue, as she licks into my mouth. My hands squeeze her breasts when she slips her leg in between mine, hitting my center in the process.  
I didn't even realize how turned on I was until now, just from touching her and hearing her soft grunts.

"Touch me," Brittany finally moans out. I don't need to be told twice.

I slide my hand down her stomach, flattening it out so I can push past the waist band of her sweat pants and go straight to where she needs me. Brittany is now grinding into my hand, her face buried in my neck as she bites down on my skin. It stings a little, but I could really care less right now. Brittany's breathing gets shallower and it doesn't take long for her body to tense up and then relax, letting out a tiny squeak in the process.

After she catches her breath, I pull the covers off of our heads, the rush of cold air feeling so refreshing.

/

When six o clock rolls around, the lights still aren't on.

Brittany and I have been laying on the couch for the past two hours, doing absolutely nothing.

"Can I let you in on a little secret," Brittany breaks the silence, while running her fingers through my hair. I prop my head up on my elbow and nod. "I'm not really afraid of storms," she admits.

I scoff and lightly push her shoulder. "Jerk," I say, though I don't really mean it.

"Aww, baby I'm sorry," she says trying to pull me closer and pepper kisses across my face, but I push back though I can't help the way my heart skips a beat when she calls me baby or the bubble of laughter that escapes my throat. "I just wanted a reason to be close to you all day," she says through a pout.  
I roll onto my back and fold my arms across my chest.

"I'm sorry," she says, grabbing one of my hands and bringing it up to her lips to kiss across my knuckles. "I won't do it again," she promises. I turn my head to see her batting her eyes at me. "and you were a really good distraction," she husks.

All I can do is let out a loud sigh before I have to roll over and kiss that look off of Brittany's face. It's seriously ridiculous how fast she can change my mood.  
A soft smile is playing at her lips when I pull back from the kiss. Brittany looks nervous all of the sudden, the playful atmosphere from before is gone and its replaced with something more serious.

I sneak my hand under the hem of Brittany's shirt, lightly scratching her back. Brittany's eyes flutter at my touch, but then she is staring right back into mine with an unsure expression.

"I know we have only been dating less than twenty four hours," she starts, her voice quivering a little. "But I would love it if we could spend Christmas together in Lima. My family would love you and I really want everyone to meet you," she swallows and looks down. "If it's too much too fast you don't have to. Christmas is my favorite holiday and it would be a million times better if I had my favorite person with me too."

I would love to be with Brittany on Christmas. Being here would be easier though, away from everyone's judging eyes and questioning stares. Families can be brutal. I don't want to lie to people and say that we aren't together because that seems like it would be a step back, but at the same time can I handle telling my family, well at least my dad and sister?

At Christmas?

It could go horribly wrong and they could hate me and banish me from Christmas dinner.

But if no one asks it technically wouldn't be lying and maybe I can find the right time to tell them, like after Christmas when they can't banish me from Christmas dinner.

I can do this. I've done scarier things than spend a Holiday with my family.

"Okay," I say in a small voice.

"Okay?"

"Yeah," I say with more confidence.

Even if something does go horribly wrong, the smile on Brittany's face right now makes it worth it.

/

Quinn enters the apartment a few minutes later. Apparently it has stopped raining. That or Quinn is some sort of wizard who repels wetness.  
Or she could have an umbrella.

"Is the storm over?" Brittany asks just as a flash of lightning illuminates the room. "Guess not," she mumbles only loud enough for me to hear. I give her a small smile.

"Did you leave Rachel at her apartment in the dark?" Not that I care or anything.

"No," Quinn sighs. "She's coming. She just had to talk with the homeless woman who lives around the corner."

"Mrs. Avery?" I ask.

"Yep." Quinn shrugs off her coat and throws it across one of the chairs in the kitchen.

Just then Rachel enters the apartment soaking wet and shivering with no coat on, her hair matted down to her head and her clothes sticking to her body.  
"What happened to you?" I laugh.

Rachel walk over to the sink to turn on the tap, waiting until the water gets warm to run her hands under it. "I gave my coat and umbrella to Mrs. Avery, she needed it more than me." She turns back to Quinn. "Can I borrow some clothes?"

"Yeah, sure," Quinn says and then they both disappear down the hallway.

While they are gone, I take this opportunity to give Brittany a few kisses, seeing as we probably won't be alone for a few hours. Brittany must have the same idea because we both lean in at the same time, causing our lips to crash together harder than anticipated. We both let out a nervous laugh, with Brittany bringing her hand up to my cheek to guide our mouths back together more gently than before.

We kiss soft and slow, our mouths working together so perfectly. Brittany's thigh pushes up in between my legs, hitting my still sensitive core, causing me to jerk forward a little.

"Sorry," she mumbles into my mouth.

I just let out a sigh in response.

Damn Quinn and Rachel, if they weren't here...

Deciding that we should probably stop before we get carried away, I break the kiss and rest my forehead against Brittany's. "A word of warning," I say finally. "We are probably going to be forced to play a board game."

"Why?" Brittany lets out through an airy chuckle and the sound makes my heart skip a beat in my chest.

"Well, last time this happened, we played Pictionary for three hours, so just- be prepared."

Rachel and Quinn come back into the living room a few minutes later. Rachel is dressed in Quinn's sweat pants and a t-shirt with a towel wrapped around her hair. And, like I said, she is carrying a board game. Quinn brought a few more candles with her. She goes to set them on the end tables and lights them.

Rachel sets the game down on the coffee table, where I immediately pick it up to see what the hell we are playing this time.

I groan when I read the title.

"A Broadway board game? Really?" I ask, leaning into Brittany's side, burying my face in her shoulder.

"It's that or Monopoly," she says.

"No! No monopoly!" I exclaim. Last time we played monopoly, things didn't end well and Quinn and I didn't speak for three whole days. It ended with me flipping the board off the table. It wasn't my proudest moment.

I'm competitive.

"Rachel come help me," Quinn calls from the kitchen.

Rachel walks into the kitchen and comes back with two bottles of beer, handing one to me and Brittany. Quinn enters right after her with a bowl of pretzels and beer for her and Rachel.

Ooh yay, alcohol and a Broadway board game. This is like Kurt's wet dream, too bad he isn't here.

I get up off the couch and extend my hand out to help Brittany. I pull her to her feet and she plops down on the floor, spreading her legs straight out in front of her and patting the space in between them for me to sit down. I gladly do as she grabs the blanket from the couch and wraps us up in it.

I settle back into her and rest the back of my head against her chest. I look across the table and see that Quinn and Rachel are staring at us with really creepy smiles on their faces.

"What?" I snap, but then I feel Brittany's hands slide across my waist and I'm not so angry anymore.

"You guys are so cute," Rachel coos.

"Look at Santana being the wittle spoon," Quinn chimes in.

"Shut up," I mumble, feeling my cheeks grow hot under the unwanted attention.

"We are pretty cute," Brittany breathes into my ear, hugging me closer and nipping at my ear lobe.

"Ugh," Quinn groans. "Stop it before I vomit rainbows."

"Alright," I lean forward, grabbing my beer and cracking it open with the opener Quinn brought over. "How the hell do you play this game?" I bring the bottle up to my lips, taking a long swig.

I'm gonna need it.

Three beers later we are still playing.

Rachel had to explain the rules about five times to me because Brittany is such a tease and won't stop touching me. I'm not mad though cause I could really care less about this game and I would rather be doing something else with Brittany instead.

Apparently the object of the game is to get as many fans as possible and to be the first to finish (duh). Brittany has been slipping me some of her fan cards under the table, very sneaky.

"Another round?" Brittany asks. We all nod our heads and Brittany pops up to get four more beers out of the sink.

Yes, the sink.

Since the power is out and all the ice would have melted anyway, Quinn got all of the ice and beer out and put it in a big bowl in the sink.

"I don't know this one," I stare at the card, a buzz set in and I'm finding it difficult to even read what's on the card.

"Let me see," Rachel grabs the card before I even have time to react.

"Hey, you can't just take my card," I scoff and I am about to reach across the table to take it back when Brittany taps the bottle of beer on my shoulder. I smile up at her and take it. She already opened it for me so I take a sip.

Brittany slides back in behind me and I relax into her, a soft smile on my face.

"Santana Lopez," Rachel exclaims. "We are no longer friends." Rachel slams the card down on the table. "Quinn, look at this," she motions to the card with her hand.

Quinn looks down at the card to read what's on it, "you don't know anything from Wicked?" She brings her hand up to her chest.

"I-" just as I am about to defend myself, Rachel throws her hands up in the air and a bunch of cards come flying out of her sleeves.

There is a collective gasp around the room.

"I can explain," Rachel gets up and starts backing up toward the kitchen, her hands raised in defense.

"Cheater!" Quinn and I yell at the same time.

"You shall be punished!" I yell after.

"Oh come on," Rachel begs.

"Brittany," Quinn speaks up. "You get to decide Rachel's punishment."

"Make it good Britt, nobody cheats in my house, except for me," I say the last part in my best deep voice.

Brittany laughs from behind me. "You guys are insane," she gets out.

"Wait," Quinn says. She gets up, stumbling a little in the process and grabs Rachel by the shoulders and forces her to sit down in the recliner. "Stay," Quinn points at her.

Quinn turns back to Brittany and I. "Santana you will be the prosecutor, Brittany the judge and I will be representing Ms. Berry," she motions to Rachel. "All sides of the matter will be heard and judgment will not be made until then. Are all parties in agreement?" She asks.

Everyone nods.

Quinn walks over to our movie case and quickly finds what she is looking for. She comes back over to stand beside Rachel.

"Rachel, raise your right hand and place it on the movie." Rachel raises her hand and places it on the copy of Funny Girl Quinn brought over. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you Barbara?"

"I do," Rachel sighs, rolling her eyes. "Guys, I don't think this is neces-"

"Let us proceed," Quinn cuts her off.

"Rachel," I say, getting up to pace the room back and forth, "would you say it is truth that you had cards up your sleeves?"

"Yes, but I-"

"And were you using said cards to gain an upper hand?"

"I was just making it-"

"Yes or no Rachel," Brittany interjects. I flash her a smirk to which she responds with a wink.

"Yes," Rachel lowers her head.

"And you would do that?" I say, pointing to Brittany and Quinn. "You would do that to your friends?" Rachel doesn't speak, she just keeps her gaze lowered to the floor. "I have no further questions," I shake my head and walk back to Brittany and sit down in front of her again.

She leans in close to my ear whispers so only I can hear, "that was so hot."

"Can my client and I have a moment?" Quinn asks, Brittany gives Quinn a small nod and they are walking off down the hall.

I turn my head to look at Brittany. "What the hell are we doing?" I laugh out.

"I have no idea, but it's fun," she tells me.

"I think it's the alcohol," I say. "Why would Rachel cheat?" Uh oh, it's happening. "That's so mean," I say, and throw my arms around Brittany's neck and sobbing into her shoulder.

"Hey, shhh," she coos, rubbing up and down my arms comfortingly. "Knowing Rachel, it probably wasn't personal."

"You're right?" I say through a sniffle, my emotional episode over almost as soon as it began.

Rachel and Quinn walk back into the room, with Rachel taking a seat in the recliner again.

"Due to the insurmountable evidence against my client, we have decided to plead guilty in hopes that you will show some mercy."

"I appreciate the plea," Brittany starts, "but due to the emotional trauma your client caused my girlfriend, I'm afraid full sentencing must be given," Brittany states then quickly adds a "sorry Rachel." Brittany grabs a candle off the coffee table and holds it in front of her face, "ghost stories," she says in a spooky voice.

"I hate you guys," Rachel deadpans from the recliner.

"Shouldn't have cheated," I shrug.

"You know we were cheating too," Brittany whispers to me.

"But we didn't get caught," I point out.

"True," she says, lacing our fingers together. Brittany clears her throat from behind me. "Since my girlfriend was the most traumatized by this whole experience, she gets to tell the first story."

Brittany hands me the candle. I take it from her, holding it right under my chin. "Gather round kiddies, shits about to get real."

Rachel reluctantly moves to the floor, but Quinn was there before I finished my sentence. Quinn loves scary things.

"There once was a girl named Rochelle. She lived in an apartment all by herself because she was an annoying little hobbit who repelled everyone away with her insane need for attention." I move the candle away from my face because it's getting too hot.

"One night, she was so lonely so she grabbed a bottle of whiskey out of her cabinet and began to drink her loneliness away. She begged whoever was listening for a friend to keep her company. As soon as the words leave her mouth, a figure starts to form across the table where she is sitting.  
Rochelle squints her eyes, trying to make out the figure sitting across from her. She shakes her head as the image of a beautiful woman comes into focus."

"Is Rochelle gay?" Rachel interrupts.

"Irrelevant," I say, waving her question away with my hand. "Anyway, Rochelle was so happy to finally have some company that she decides to make small talk with her. 'So, what's your name?' she asks. The woman looks up to her with a shocked expression because she is always in the apartment, she has never left. 'Mary,' she answers.

'Mary?' Rochelle questions. 'That's funny. The person who lived here before me was also named Mary. Except she di-' Her words are cut short as the woman turns her head slightly, showing a stream of blood running down the side of her face."

Rachel lets out a gasp, bringing her hands to cover her face.

Quinn gets up to use the bathroom, but she doesn't actually go to the bathroom. I see her sneak behind the sofa and bend down so she can't be seen. I try my hardest to keep from laughing, but a little bubble finds its way out of my throat. I cover it up with a cough though and Rachel pays no mind to it.

"The woman nods her head, 'that was me,' she tells Rochelle, 'and I WANT YOU OUT!" my voice booms through the apartment.

Just as I say the last four lines, Quinn jumps out from the back of the couch and grabs Rachel from behind.

Rachel lets out the loudest scream I have ever heard in my life as her whole body stiffens and she just falls to the floor. It looked like those fainting goats when they get scared.

Everyone in the room is stitched over laughing as Rachel gets up off the ground, smoothing over her t-shirt, playing it off as if she wasn't scared shitless.

"Okay, can we stop now?" Rachel asks, a slight quiver in her voice.

"That's up to the judge," I say, looking back to Brittany.

Brittany brings her finger to tap at her chin, pondering for a while. "I think we got her pretty good," she finally says.

"Yeah, me too," Quinn crawls over to me and Brittany, still laughing hysterically and gives us each a high five.

"Quinn," Rachel scolds.

"What?" Rachel stomps off toward the kitchen. "Oh come on Rachel, it was just a joke."

"A joke?" Rachel questions. "I'm not laughing," she says as she stumbles into a chair. "You know I am still trying to recover from Paranormal Activity. I still have to sleep with a light on."

"Really? That was like a year ago," I point out.

Last Halloween Quinn and I bribed Rachel to have a scary movie marathon with us and we watched all the Paranormal movies. I don't think they are that bad, but Rachel had to stay at our apartment for a month straight because she was so scared. I had a lot of fun with it, making noises through the wall and scaring her.

"I was traumatized," she tells me. "You guys are terrible. If I don't get enough rest, I am going to bomb my Little Mermaid on Ice audition that's in five days. Five days, Santana!"

"Whoa, okay calm down," the room starts spinning as I stand up. Brittany stands up with me, setting her hands on my waist to steady my footing. "We can do something else to take your mind off of it?" I suggest. I look to Rachel who is opening a bottle of tequila that was in the cabinet, "or you could just drink all night."

Quinn sprints into the kitchen to get some tequila for herself and Brittany and I just stand back and watch.

"Maybe the power won't come on tomorrow and class will be canceled," Brittany sighs as she rests her chin on my shoulder.

I groan at the mention of class. It's that time of year where there seems to be a test every week.

I pull my phone out of my pocket to check the time. It's almost mid night, but I'm not even a little bit tired.

"You guys want some?" Quinn asks, bringing herself and the tequila into the living room.

Brittany and I both say no at the same time. I think I've had enough. I'm not about to drink that nasty shit after I just drank that other nasty shit. I can only handle so much of the taste of beer, which is why I don't drink it that much.

"Let's play Just Dance!" Rachel yells.

"The power is out," I remind her.

"Oh right," she says back a little disappointed.

Brittany grabs my hand and pulls me back to sit on the chair with her. I fall back, lading in her lap as she wraps her arms around my waist. We sit there and watch Quinn and Rachel bicker with each other. I turn to and sling my legs off the side of the chair, so I am laying across Brittany instead of sitting on her.  
I grab Brittany's chin and tilt her face up to meet mine. I give her a deep kiss, curling my fingers around the back of her neck.

"Mmm," she hums, pulling back a little. "What about Quinn and Rachel?" she nods behind me.

"What about Quinn and Rachel?" I ask, pulling her back into me.

"They can see us," she mumbles into my mouth.

"They're drunk," I turn to see Rachel leaning backwards off the couch while Quinn tries to pour some tequila into her mouth.

It seems to be enough proof for Brittany because she doesn't protest again when I bring our mouths back together.

We kiss for long moments when suddenly I realize how quiet it has gotten. I turn to look behind me again and see Rachel and Quinn passed out on the floor.

"Looks like they had too much," Brittany laughs. "I don't think I have ever had so much fun without power."

"Yeah," I agree. "So, I was thinking," I draw out, playing with some strands of Brittany's hair.

"Yeah," Brittany speaks when I don't continue.

"I want you to meet my family too. At Christmas"

Brittany bites her bottom lip, trying to conceal her smile.

"Really?" she breathes.

"Well, yeah. It's gotta happen eventually, right? You're really important to me," I tell her, resting my forehead against hers. "I don't know how I am going to tell them yet, I just know that I really want to because you are so amazing and I'm so fucking scared but I don't even care when I'm with you."

"You're the best," she sighs, bringing her hands up to cup my cheeks.

"Second best," I correct her.

* * *

**Sorry this took forever. **

**Thank you for reading! You guys are awesome :)**


	13. Chapter 13

"_Hello?_"

"Hey dad," I breathe into the phone.

"_Hi sweetie. How are you?_" he answers.

"I'm good. How are you?"

_"I'm doing all right. What's going on?"_

"Well, uh I look up to Brittany who is sitting at my desk, spinning around in the chair. "Would it be okay if I came home for Christmas?"

_"Of course!" _he exclaims. "_I can't wait to tell Maya."_

"Actually, could you not? I want to surprise her."

_"Sure. You know, she hasn't stopped talking about coming to visit you ever since you brought it up."_

"That's another thing I wanted to talk to you about," I say carefully. "If she wants to, and if it's okay with you, could she spend her spring break here? I think we have it at the same time."

"_A whole week?_"

"Yeah, and I could show her around the city, maybe take her to a baseball game or something or tour the campus."

"_Yeah,_" he says after a few moments of silence. "_That would be okay."_

"Thank you," I say into the phone. "I have another question, though. Can I bring someone to Christmas?"

"_Quinn?"_ he asks.

"No, someone else."

"_I don't see why that would be a problem," _I smile at his answer.

"Okay, thanks. I'll see you at Christmas then."

"_I love you."_

"Love you too."

I hang up the phone and fall back onto the mattress.

"What's this?" Brittany asks from my desk. She picks up a folder stuffed with papers that I threw on there the day I got them.

"What's what?" I groan from my bed.

Today was such a long day. I had test after test and tons of time between each one, so the day drug on and on.

Brittany tosses the folder on the bed for me to look at. I take one glance and immediately know what it is.

"Career tests," I toss the papers to the side as Brittany comes to sit on the edge of the bed.

She picks up the papers and begins flipping through them. "Have you tried one?" She asks.

"Of the tests?" She nods. "No."

"Why not?" Brittany rolls onto the mattress and lays by my side.

"Because I don't think that a few questions can determine what I want to do forever," I tell her.

"Well, what_ do_ you want to do?" She asks, resting her hand on my hip.

"You," I husk, pulling her into me.

Brittany smirks and lets out a loud sigh, rolling her eyes at me. "Duh, but what else do you want to do? What are you _passionate_ about? What _moves _you?"

I roll away from her and onto my back, covering my face with my arms. "I could become a firefighter. Or maybe a police officer."

"That would be hot," Brittany leans over me. "You would have a gun," she gives me a kiss. "And a badge," another kiss. "And handcuffs," she wiggles her eyebrows. "Oh what we could do with those," she runs her hands up my sides.

I try to ignore the arousal that shoots through my body as Brittany's words leave her mouth.

"Maybe I'll just become a librarian," I joke. "So I can spend my days yelling at annoying teenagers."

"Will you be wearing glasses and a short skirt?" Brittany asks, brushing a few strands of hair out of my face.

"Mhm," I hum.

"You would make a sexy librarian," Brittany rolls off of me, grabbing hold of my waist to pull me on top of her.

I push my hips down into hers as she wraps her legs around my waist.

"How did you decide?" I look down at her.

"I love taking pictures," Brittany shrugs. "And I love getting to know things about people," she runs her finger across my collar bone. "I just think people are so interesting and I've met some pretty amazing ones recently," Brittany gives me a peck on the lips.

When she pulls away I just stare at her for a few moments. Brittany is a really passionate person and she does things with her whole heart. I think that's one of the many reasons I like her so much.

"What?" She says, her cheeks turning pink under my gaze.

"You're pretty amazing too," I breathe.

"Yeah?" she smiles, her eyes lighting up in the way they do when she gets excited about something. I nod my head, leaning down rest my forehead against hers.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you," I mumble. "I'm going up to visit Mercedes tomorrow," I roll off of her.

Mercedes called me earlier today and asked me if I could bring up a box she forgot the last time she was here. Since I don't have anything to do, I told her I would. She even said I could go to work with her if I wanted to.

"I'll be back Saturday morning."

"Sounds like fun," she leans closer to capture my lips with hers.

"Mhmm," I hum into her mouth. "You have a class tomorrow?"

"Yep," she says unenthusiastically.

"I'm sorry baby," I pull her into my side.

Brittany has been working a lot lately and between school and her job and working out with Sugar, she seems so exhausted. But, she keeps telling me it's to make up for all the time she will be taking off in December.

"I don't wanna work anymore," she mumbles, nuzzling her face into my shoulder. I hold her closer to me, running my fingers through her hair. "Do you smell that?" Brittany raises her head off the bed. "It smells like-"

"Pizza," I finish her sentence.

In the same instant we leap up off the bed and make our way into the kitchen.

"So the legends are true, bring pizza and they will come," Quinn says putting a slice on her plate and sitting at the table.

"Quinn, have I told you lately," I sing, "that I love you?" I hug Quinn from behind while Brittany grabs two plates from the cabinet.

"Have I told you there's no one else above you," Brittany chimes in as she hands me a plate with a slice of pizza.

I set it down on the table and Brittany holds her hand out for me to dance with her, "Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness," I continue singing as Brittany spins us around the room. She dips me so that my face is hanging right by Quinn, "ease my troubles, that's what you do."

"Oh my god, just eat the damn pizza," Quinn says through a smile, though she is trying to fight it. Brittany pulls me back up and we sit down to eat with Quinn. "So, are you graduating in May?" Quinn asks me.

I let out a sigh and drop my pizza back onto the plate.

"Yes. Why?"

"Are you gonna stay here in the city? Move back home?"

Shit.

I haven't even thought about that. My scholarship has been covering room and board, well most of it, and my dad has been covering living expenses.

"Um- I- I don't know," I stare down at my plate.

The mood shifted from playful to serious way too quickly.

"Maybe you should start thinking about that," Quinn says.

"I _have_ been thinking about it," I defend myself, my tone harsher than I meant it to be. I may not have thought about my living arrangements, but I have thought about what comes after college.

I do know that I don't want to move back home, I don't think anyone does. I don't have any debt, so I don't have to worry about paying things off and I could totally make rent if I found a job.

"Whoa," Quinn raises her hands in defense. "I wasn't asking to attack you. I'm just saying. And I thought since we are all graduating this summer, maybe we could all go on a trip or something?"

"Oh," I relax into my chair. "I could be down with that," I say calmly.

Quinn looks to Brittany.

"Brittany?"

"Sounds awesome."

/

"That was good pizza," Brittany groans, holding her stomach.

"Yeah, you ate the whole thing," I turn and prop myself up on my elbow. "Seriously," I lift up Brittany's shirt, "where do you put it?"

I lean forward and start peppering her stomach with kisses, my hands tickling her sides.

"Stop it," she tries to wiggle away from me, but I wrap my arms around her and keep her there. "Santana," she laughs, "I'm gonna throw up."

I stop tickling her and rest my head against her stomach. Brittany combs through my hair for a few moments, "Quinn is asleep right?"

"I dunno," I twist my head to look up at her.

"Hmm," she hums. "Are you tired?"

"No, are you?" I ask, twisting my body so I am laying on my back.

"Nope," she starts tugging me up by my arms.

"But we can't, you might cramp up," I lean down to kiss her slowly, tilting her head back so I can move down to her neck.

"It'll be worth it," she tells me, grabbing the sides of my face to pull back to her.

It seems like we haven't had a moment to ourselves like this in a few weeks, since the big storm. We have been together a lot, but as the end of the semester rolls around, so do all the projects and tests and with Brittany leaving in a few days, I'm glad we have this moment.

Brittany pushes her body into me so I roll onto my back as she begins pulling my tank top up. She kisses down my stomach, her lips leaving little wet marks, causing goosebumbs to form in their wake.

My breathing is already embarrassingly heavy as I think about where her lips could be heading. My back arches off the mattress to get more contact from her, but she pushes me back down with impressive force.

I let out a huff of air, getting frustrated because I am already so turned on and that only made it worse.

Brittany stops kissing my stomach and smirks up at me, her eyes a different shade than they usually are. She smoothes her hands all across my stomach, never breaking eye contact, before they slide down to remove my shorts. This time, she lets my hips rise off the mattress to help her take them off.

There is a look in her eye that I haven't seen before, it's softer and gentler than it usually is and I feel something pull deep within me at the sight.

My heart beats ten times faster when Brittany lowers her mouth to my abs again, kissing her way across my flesh as if she is mapping it out. She stops at the top of my underwear, her breath hitting in a ragged pattern. Brittany takes in a deep breath, running her nose across the outside of my underwear, where she places a single kiss to my center. My eyes roll to the back of my skull, but then I open them again to find Brittany looking up at me with her soft blue eyes, silently asking for my permission to continue.

I give her a weak nod, lifting my hips once again so she can pull my panties down. Brittany pulls them off slowly, sitting back on her heels to do so and dragging her fingertips down the length of my calves.

She kisses her way back up, starting with the top of my foot, then my knee, until she is placing wet kisses to my inner thighs. The whole time I'm watching, my breath catching in my throat each time she gets higher. I find myself tying to wet my lips, but my mouth has gone dry.

When she finally makes it to where I need her, my head rolls back against the pillow.

Brittany starts slow, placing gentle kisses to the top of my mound. It actually kind of tickles, but just as I'm about to laugh, she runs her tongue though my folds, causing the smile to fall from my face.

Her tongue comes up to flick across my clit a few times before she is closing her lips around it and sucking it into her mouth. I have to bring my arm up to my face and bit down on the flesh to keep from crying out. Brittany brings one hand up to massage my breast as she continues to move her tongue. With each flick, I feel a new wave of pleasure spreading throughout my whole body.

I feel her _everywhere._

And it's the best feeling in the world.

She starts flicking her tongue really fast and I have to grab hold of the sheets to keep myself under control. Just as I am about to come, she changes pace, licking through my folds again. Then her tongue is entering my body, the warmth of it spreading down to my toes.

My hands shoot to the back of her head, pushing her deeper inside of me, until I realize that she may need to breathe. I loosen my grip, but begin rolling my hips up into her mouth. Brittany starts letting out tiny moans and the vibrations cause my whole body to jerk into her. I grab a fistful of sheets in one hand, but I keep the other on the back of Brittany's head.

Brittany keeps pushing in and out, the pressure in my lower stomach is becoming too much to handle. With one more thrust of her tongue inside of me, I am coming undone, my thighs shaking at the sides of Brittany's face.

Brittany keeps going, letting me ride out my orgasm until I literally can't take it anymore.

"Britt," I pant out, trying to wet my throat enough to speak, but she still doesn't stop.

She reattaches her lips to my clit, making tiny movements at first, but then getting faster and firmer again. Brittany slides two fingers inside of me with ease and begins moving in and out, each time getting a little bit faster.

"Oh God," I bit the back of my wrist to quiet myself. Brittany grabs hold of one of my hands with her free one and it doesn't take long before I am coming again, this time harder.

I start tugging on her hand to get her to come up to me. I grab hold of her face with both of my hands, my tongue pushing its way into her mouth. I groan when I taste myself on her. Brittany tries to pull off her pajama bottoms, but can't get them all the way off, so I bring my feet up to help her push them down.

Brittany sits up on top of me and tosses her shirt to the floor. She is about to lean back down, but I put my hand against her stomach to stop her. I wrap my hands around her thighs and pull her up. She falls forward a little, but steadies herself against the backboard.

I keep pulling until her center is directly over my face. I literally can't wait any longer, so I pull her down into me, wanting nothing more than to taste her. I don't even hesitate, my tongue immediately coming out to lap through her wetness.

The taste is indescribable. It's nothing like I thought it would be. I hum into her, enjoying the feeling of her against my mouth more than I probably should.

I can hear Brittany's ragged breathing from above me, until she starts grinding down on my face, then I can only feel her. Brittany leans back, placing one hand against my abs as she steadies her movements. I suck Brittany's clit into my mouth and that's all it takes for her to lose control, her movements becoming sloppy as she rides out her orgasm above me.

When she stops moving I kiss the inside of her thigh. She lowers herself back onto me, letting out a loud sigh and taking my lips in hers. We kiss slowly for a few moments, both of us trying to calm out hearts.

Brittany rests her forehead against mine and I notice that her body is shaking.

"Hey," Brittany's eyes are pinched shut and her breathing still ragged. I run my hands down her back, brushing my nose against hers. "What's wrong?"

She lays her head down on my chest. I wrap my arms around her body, trying to calm her down. I can feel my own heart rate starting to increase, wondering if maybe I did something wrong.

Brittany's breathing increases as she lays there "Santana, I-," she starts before there is a knock on the door.

"Are you two decent?" Quinn shouts from the hallway.

I let out a loud sigh, pulling the covers up to our shoulders and running my hands up and down Brittany's arms.

"Yeah," I call out, still holding Brittany close to my body.

Quinn pokes her head in through the door, "sorry," she mumbles when I give her a pointed look. "I just wanted to know what time you want to leave tomorrow."

"Uh-," I lean my head closer to Brittany's ear. "What time's your class?"

"One."

"One," I say back to Quinn.

"Cool," she nods before disappearing again.

"Quinn's going with you?" She asks.

"Yeah, she wants to check out the area. I think she wants to move up there after she graduates."

"I'm sure she will like it there," Brittany laughs. "It seems like her style."

"You've been up there?"

"Mhm, it's where I used to go to college."

"What made you change schools?"

"They didn't have photojournalism, and there were too many memories," her face turns down again.

"Oh," I breathe. "Are you okay?" I ask, still concerned about before.

"I haven't been this happy in so long," she squeezes my body.

"Me either," I tell her honestly, placing a kiss into her hair.

/

"Thanks for letting me come check this out," I tell Mercedes as I enter the sound booth.

"It will be nice to have some company for a change. Most nights just drag on and on and I never get any callers."

"What does this button do?" I ask with my hand hovering over a red button.

"Nothing, or at least I don't think it does anything," she has a confused look on her face.

How do you work with a big red button every other night and not know what it does?

"What's your show called?"

Mercedes lets out a laugh. "It's not a show, I just play music."

"Oh, so we can't like make funny banter and stuff," I sink back into my chair.

"No, but you can help me pick music."

The recording studio doesn't look anything like I imagined it would. It's just a simple room. I thought it would be bigger, this is pretty small. I thought it would be darker in here for some reason too.

"So, you're coming for Thanksgiving? Right?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know, maybe you're too good for us now that you have this high end job."

"Trust me, this isn't a high end job," she laughs.

"Maybe not, but you always wanted to be a DJ, and here you are," I motion around the room with my hands.

"Yeah," she agrees, "gotta start somewhere I guess."

/

"What, do I just start talking?" I ask Mercedes. "But I don't know what to say."

"You're on air," she giggles through a whisper.

My eyes widen, "uh-" I draw out. "You're listening to WXFM, 'you got the feet and we got the beat,'" I say in my smoothest voice possible and cringe at the ridiculous slogan. "It's twenty three minutes past the hour here in the studio, but you probably don't care because you are asleep and if you're not, you should call. It's all request hour."

"Is it?" Mercedes chimes in.

"It is now," I shrug. Mercedes shakes her head through a laugh.

It has been over an hour and no one has called yet. Mercedes and I have been playing a game of cards for a while now and I can feel my eye lids start to droop.

As the song finishes, Mercedes motions for me to talk again. I am starting to run out of things to say now just like I am starting to think she brought me here to do her job. I don't know how she does this for four hours straight. I guess you get used to it after a while.

"WXFM," I say flatly. "We play music," I am holding my head up with my hand because it's getting harder and harder to sit upright. I would lay my head down on the table if I didn't have to speak into the microphone.

"Hey look," Mercedes points to the phone. "Santana has a caller!"

"What do I do?" I panic, covering the mic with my hand. I don't want to talk to a stranger on the phone.

"You could try answering it," Mercedes suggests.

I roll my eyes at her, but pick up the line anyway.

"Thank you for calling, what's your name?"

"Guess," I smirk at the familiar voice, perking up a bit.

"Mercedes I finally get to use my Mexican third eye," I sit forward in my chair, shaking out my hands in front of me and folding them on the table. "Let's see," I draw out, "something tells me your name starts with a 'B'. Is that right?"

"Yes," there is a giggle down the line and Mercedes raises her eyebrows at me.

"Bethany? No, that's not right. Brittany?"

Mercedes rolls her eyes at me because now she gets it. I just shrug my shoulder at her with a soft smile playing on my lips.

"Mhm, and I would like to request a song."

"Sure thing."

"It's for someone really special to me," my heart flutters inside my chest. If it was someone else, I would ask who, but I already know. "I would like you to play 'Some Hearts'"

"You got it Brittany," I say while Mercedes finds the song to play.

My face hurts so much from smiling as I listen to the lyrics of the song, the whole time my heart is beating wildly.

About halfway through the song I realize that Mercedes is staring at me.

"What?" I ask.

She narrows her eyes at me, "something's different about you."

"I got a haircut last week," I tell her.

"No, that's not it," she taps her finger on her chin.

"Maybe it's this shirt?"

"Have you met someone?" She asks, her eyes still narrowed at me.

"I've met lots of people."

"Stop playin. You know what I mean."

"Maybe," I shrug, and like always, I can't help the smile that creeps its way across my face whenever the subject of Brittany gets brought up.

"Are you gonna tell me who?" I just shrug at her again. "Do I know them?"

"It's possible."

"It's Brittany. Isn't it?"

"How!"

"It's the most obvious thing on the planet," Mercedes laughs.

"That I'm gay or that I'm with Brittany?"

"You guys are dating?" she squeals. "I thought you just had a serious crush on her. I'm so happy for you. You seem so happy."

"I am," I smile. "Can I ask you something though?" the smile fades from my face.

"Sure."

"You know my dad better than Quinn, do you think they are going to be okay with this? With me dating Brittany because I want them to meet her?"

"You want her to meet your family?" Mercedes gasps. I give her a weak nod. "Your dad loves you, and he will love you no matter what. Remember that one time you broke his brand new fishing pole?" I laugh at the memory. "And remember when you packed a bag and brought it to my house because you thought he would kick you out? But he didn't, he was just upset that you hid it from him."

"I think this is a little different," I let out a nervous laugh.

"It's not though. Even if he isn't okay with it at first, he will be eventually."

"I hope so," I breathe out. "I do have one more question though…" Mercedes quirks an eyebrow at me to continue. "How does everyone on the face of the planet see that I am gay, but you didn't know Kurt was? Because, if I remember correctly, you had a thing for Lady Hummel," I laugh.

"Because love is blind," she places her hand on her heart. "And I don't think its necessarily that people know you are gay, just that you are gay with _Brittany_, if that makes any sense. You've got it so bad."

/

"When will you be back?" I say, toying with the hem of Brittany's shirt.

I came over here to say goodbye to Brittany before she leaves for Lima tomorrow for thanksgiving. I will be driving her to the airport tomorrow morning too, so I will get to say goodbye again, but I wanted to do it in another way.

Now we are laying in her bed, my fingers brushing against the soft skin of her hip bones.

"Saturday," she mumbles, her eyes closing. I already knew that because I am also picking her up from the airport, but I just want to make sure. "I wish you were coming with me," she says lazily.

"I know," I sigh, "but I'll be with you on Christmas." Brittany doesn't respond, she just mumbles something, which I guess_ is_ a response, and keeps her eyes closed. "Go to sleep," I tell her through a laugh.

She has been fighting to stay awake for the better part of four hours. Her flight leaves at seven in the morning.

"I can sleep on the plane," she informs me.

"The flight is only like an hour," I laugh again. "You are going to be sleeping all day tomorrow. I can't be the reason for a passed out Brittany."

"But," she yawns. "I'm not gonna see you for a whole year. I need my Santana time," she stretches out on the bed, cracking her back.

"How about two days," our legs tangle together under the sheets as I pull her body into mine. Brittany buries her face into my chest.

"Two days too long," her words are muffled against me. "So, who cooks your thanksgiving dinner?" She asks after a while.

"Quinn," I tell her, "but I make a mean pot of mashed potatoes."

"Uhg," Brittany groans, "those are my favorite."

"I'll be sure to save you some then. I'll probably have to hide them from Mercedes because those are her favorite too."

"I thought you said it was just Quinn and Rachel that you have dinner with."

"Yeah, I didn't think Mercedes would come back, but I guess she is," I mumble. I lean over Brittany to check the time on the clock. It's a little past two in the morning.

"You should really get some sleep," I say softly, combing through her silky hair.

"Give me a kiss first," she cranes her neck up and our mouths meet.

/

"So, I pick you up at one on Saturday?" I ask again just to be sure.

I don't want to leave Brittany stranded at the airport when she gets back.

I hate airports. They are way to hectic to me and no one seems to know where they're supposed to go.

This is why I drive. It's quiet and calm and peaceful. It may take a hell of a lot longer, but that's a price I am more than willing to pay.

"Uh yeah," she says looking around. I pull her into a hug and give her a peck on the lips. "I'll call you when I land."

"Okay," I mumble.

I let out a loud sigh as I watch Brittany walk into the airport.

I turn back around and see Quinn struggling to climb into the front seat. I open the door to the driver's side and slide in.

Just as I enter the car, Quinn falls awkwardly into the front seat.

"Let's do this!" Quinn exclaims from next to me.

"Calm down," I say, my head pounding from staying awake so long last night. I rest my head on the steering wheel.

"We have to get the bird ready and peel the potatoes and make the stuffing and the gravy and make the salad."

"Stop," I groan, but Quinn keeps talking.

"And Rachel is making the pies, so we don't have a repeat of last year," Quinn gives me a pointed look. I may or may not have accidentally used salt in the place of sugar last year.

I honestly don't even know how I made that mistake.

I think Quinn's favorite part about Thanksgiving is all the cooking.

"Quinn, please. It's five thirty in the morning. I just wanna go back to sleep," I beg her.

"Did Brittany keep you awake all night?" She wiggles her eyebrows at me. I smirk a little to myself, remembering the night before because, yeah, she did.

Quinn sits back with a smug look on her face, like she cracked the code to one of life's greatest mysteries. I start the car and head back home.

I'm gonna need a long nap to prepare me for today.

/

I wake up at nine to a buzzing sound. I blink open my eyes, trying to fight off the pain in my head as I search for my phone.

"Hey," I greet Brittany, my voice scratchy from sleep.

"_Were you sleeping?"_ She asks, sounding a little tired herself.

"No, were you?"

"_I slept for like ten minutes, the guy next to me was snoring the whole flight and they kept asking me if I wanted pretzels_."

"Are you home yet?" I roll over onto my back and pull the cover over my head to block out the tiny ray of sunshine that always sneaks trough my blinds.

"_No, I'm trying to find my mom and dad_," she tells me. I faintly hear someone calling Brittany's name in the background. "_Found em_," Brittany squeals excitedly.

I smile to myself, pressing the phone to my chest for a second. I can just picture the look on her face. When I put the phone back up to my ear, I can hear Brittany greeting her mom and dad.

"_My parents say hi_," she says eventually, pulling me out of my stupor.

"I say hi back."

"_She says hi back_," she tells her parents and I let out a small laugh.

"I'll let you go, so you can enjoy your family."

"_Okay_," she says. "_Bye San_," she says.

"Bye Britt."

After lying in bed for a few more minutes, I decide that I should probably get up.

When I walk into the kitchen, I see a tripod set up and Rachel and Quinn standing in the kitchen. I really shouldn't be surprised by what I see, but it's still early and I haven't had my coffee yet.

I ignore the fact that they are probably recording something and pad across the kitchen floor in my robe and fuzzy socks.

It's so cold in here.

They must not hear or see me because they don't say anything.

I slip back out of the kitchen and sit down on the couch, flipping on the TV in the process.

"Santana!" Rachel yells. "Man that was perfect. We're gonna have to do that again." I hear Rachel tell Quinn.

I smile devilishly to myself while I bring the coffee cup up to my lips and take a much needed sip. I feel better almost immediately.

Ten minutes pass and I'm still sitting comfortably in the living room alone when Quinn comes in and sits down next to me, causing the couch to shake and a little coffee to spill out.

I look down at my robe and see a stain setting in, "damn" I whisper, mostly to myself.

"I have good news and bad news," Quinn tells me.

"Okay," I draw out, "what's the bad news?"

"The bad news is that there are going to be more people coming tonight than usual."

I groan, it's hard enough dealing with just Rachel at thanksgiving. Something about the holidays makes her extra annoying.

"How many more," I ask, throwing my head back against the couch.

"Just a couple," she assures me.

"Who?"

"Well, Kurt and Tina. Maybe Kurt's boyfriend," she tells me. Tina is Mercedes' roommate. She seemed pretty all right when I met her the other day.

She's quiet.

I like quiet.

"Kurt has a boyfriend?" I ask, sitting up to give Quinn a questioning look.

"Yeah," she says, "weird right?"

"That's so cute- I mean," I cough. "That's cool," I shrug. "Good for lady Hummel. So, what's the good news?"

"Good news is that there isn't any more bad news."

"Speaking of bad news," I start. "Did you take my hoodie?"

"Uh- which one?" she narrows her eyes.

"The red one," I was going to wear it yesterday, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

"Nope," she answers quickly.

I turn my head towards her, trying to read her face. "Are you lying to me?" I get super close, trying to see if there are any changes in her facial expressions.

"I'm not lying."

"So, if I go to your room right now, I won't find it laying on the floor?"

"Okay, two things wrong with what you just said. One, _nothing _is laying on my floor. And two, you wouldn't get up to check anyway."

Well, she's not technically wrong there and she doesn't really have a reason to lie to me, unless she lost it because everyone knows that's my favorite hoodie.

"See," Quinn replies when I don't move or say anything her chest in victory.

/

"I have arrived," the door bursts open and Mercedes steps in. "And I brought the booze," she holds up two bottles of wine.

I swoop in and grab the bottles from her, "I'll take those." I immediately crack open the first bottle and grab a few glasses from the cabinet. "Anybody else?" I ask the room.

Everyone in the room says yes. I empty the bottle in less than two minutes.

Shit.

We're gonna need more alcohol.

"We should probably get some more wine," I say to Quinn as I hand her the glass.

"Mmm," she agrees over a sip, "get some more of this. It tastes like heaven."

I guess _I'm_ going then.

"Watch the potatoes," I point my finger at her. "And don't let Rachel touch them."

I grab my coat off the rack and my beanie that's sitting in the key bowl. There is a drug store right down the street from here so it shouldn't take too long.

I pick up three bottles of wine and as I'm paying I see a familiar face in the candy aisle.

As I spot her, she spots me. I want to pretend like I didn't see her, but it's too late, she's already walking toward me.

"Santana, hey," she greets me.

"Sugar," I give her a short nod. "What are you doing here?"

"What are _you_ doing here?"

I hold up the bottles of wine. "Party," I say simply. After a few awkward seconds I tell her I should probably get back.

I start walking toward the exit, but something makes me turn back around. I look back to Sugar who has her head hanging slightly.

I can't believe I'm doing this, I think to myself.

"Sugar?" She looks up at me with a little hope in her eyes. "You wanna come have dinner with me and my friends?" I'm surprised that actually sounded nice considering my previous feeling toward her.

"Sure," she says excitedly.

We start walking back to my apartment. The sun is almost down and it's starting to get really cold outside.

At least the wine will be cold.

"So, how are things with you and Brittany?" Sugar finally speaks, easing some of the awkward tension.

"We're good," I say because there's not much else to say.

"She talks about you all the time, you know?"

I can feel the butterflies start their wings inside my chest. I know I talk about Brittany all the time, so it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

I don't say anything in response, I just feel the lightness that I always feel whenever I think about Brittany.

"That's how I knew she liked you and when I asked her if she did, her face turned dark red and she kept denying it. Then when she finally told me she liked you, she said I couldn't tell anyone because she didn't want to break your trust."

My heart gives a little tug inside my chest as I think about Brittany trying to keep us a secret. It's endearing that she would do that for me.

"You guys are so great together," Sugar squeals.

"Thanks," I say honestly, not really knowing what else I'm supposed to say to that.

"Brittany is a great person. If_ I_ was gay, I would be all up on that." I snap my head toward Sugar, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding." She raises her hands up in defense. I let out a nervous laugh and unclench my fist at my side. "You two being with other people just doesn't make sense," she tells me.

I have to agree with her on that point. In fact, now that I have been with Brittany I can't picture myself with anyone else. I know most people would think that it's too early to think like that, but I can't help the way I feel.

/

"Satan!" Kurt shouts as I enter the apartment. Before I even have time to react, I am being crushed in his embrace.

"Who is this lovely lady?" He looks behind me.

"This is Sugar," I motion to her. "Sugar this is Kurt," I motion back to him.

"That is such a lovely coat," he gasps.

"I know," she exclaims.

"Is that real fur?"

"Sure is," she runs her fingers through the lapels.

Both of their voices are so high, I can't help but cringe when they speak.

"Where's your boyfriend?" I grab Kurt's arm and pulls him aside.

Kurt smiles and points over to the couch, "isn't he dreamy?" He clasps his hands together underneath his chin.

"He's wearing a bow tie," I laugh.

"His name is Blaine." Kurt stares at Blaine from across the room with a really creepy look on his face for a moment before he turns back to me.

"Are _you _seeing anyone?" He asks, tilting his head to the side like a curious puppy.

My heart starts beating in my chest "Uh, - yeah," I stutter out.

"Who is it? Do I know him? Is he hot? It better not be Puck or worse Finn. You know, he had a crush in you in high school? I told him you would cut off his balls if he ever tried anything."

"Kurt," I say a little louder than I intended. "It's not Puck or Finn," my body shivers just thinking about it.

"Who then? Did you finally hook up with Brian? He is _fine." _He bites his bottom lip.

"You don't know her," I spit out before I can even think about it.

Kurt brings his hand up to his heart, "_lady _loving Lopez?" He gasps.

"Yup," I breathe, "this Lopez loves the ladies."

"No way!" He gasps again.

It's weird that Kurt is the only one who didn't know so far, but kind of refreshing in the same instance.

"Where is she," he begins twirling around the room trying to find her. "Is it Sugar?" He asks, his voice low.

"Ew, no!" I exclaim. "She's not here. She went to her families for Thanksgiving."

"Do you have a picture?"

"I might," I say.

Of course I do though. She is the background on my phone after all.

"Let me see. Let me see," he begs.

"Fine," I huff out, pulling my phone out of my pocket.

Just when I'm about to click the button to show him, the screen lights up, flashing the most beautiful face I have ever seen.

I go to answer my phone, but Kurt makes a grab for it.

"Give that back," I snatch it from him, giving him a death glare.

"Hello?" I answer.

"_Hey_," Brittany greets me and just the sound of her voice makes my insides turn to mush.

"Let me talk to her," Kurt tries to grab the phone again, but I quickly dart away and duck into my bedroom.

"_Who was that?" _Brittany asks from the other line.

"Kurt," I say a little breathless. "Sorry bout that, what's up?"

"_I just called to say hey. Everyone is napping from all the Turkey_," she tells me.

"Wow, you guys ate early," it's only four thirty here, which means its three thirty there.

"_Yeah, we do that._" I hear a muffled voice in the background.

"Who was that?" I ask, but I already know.

"_Sam,"_ Brittany deadpans, "_he told me to tell you hi and that he can't wait to see you on Christmas. Oh and he still sleeps with his stuffed puppy he got when he was seven. Ow_!"

"Did he hit you?" I call down the phone. "Because I'm not above killing a man."

"_Dammit Sam,"_ she breathes. "_No, you terd. Now get out_." After a few seconds of silence Brittany speaks again. "_Okay, he's gone. How is your Thanksgiving going?_"

"Okay I guess. A lot more people showed up than I thought. And sugar is here."

"_Sugar?_"

"Yeah, I kind of ran into her while I was getting wine. She looked all sad and alone so I invited her."

"_That was sweet of you babe,_" she coos down the line.

I still haven't gotten used to her calling me that.

"How is your mom doing?" I ask her because the last time Brittany talked to her mom, which was about a week ago, she was having chest pains again.

"_She seems like she's doing ok, but it's hard to tell and I don't wanna ask in case she doesn't want to talk about it_."

"I hope she's doing okay," I tell her. It would be terrible for her to not enjoy the holidays with her family. "Hey, I gotta go finish my potatoes, I'll call you tonight?"

"_Sounds good._"

"Bye Britt."

"_Bye._"

When I open my door, Kurt falls forward and slams into me.

"What the hell?" I say in surprise. "Were you listening?" I slap his arm. "Don't you have a boyfriend to entertain?"

"Hey, hey, hey," he says, trying to defend himself against me slapping his arm. "He's getting along handsomely with Rachel. You know, your voice gets all different when you talk to your mystery girl. Britt was it?"

"I hate you," I groan and move past him to walk to the kitchen.

"Wait, wait," he grabs my arm. "So do Quinn and Rachel know?"

"Uh- yeah, why?"

"Am I allowed to talk about this?"

"Why do you need to talk about it? I'm dating Brittany, so what? You're dating bow tie," I point out "and I'm not grilling _you_ about it."

"What about Mercedes? Does she know?"

"Does Mercedes know what?" She says walking down the hall.

Kurt sucks in his lips as his eyebrows raise up into his hair line.

"If it's that you are in love with Brittany, then yes, Mercedes knows."

My jaw drops open and I'm about to ask who told her but she speaks before I can formulate the words. "Girl you are like a love sick puppy whenever she is around. It would be hard for anyone to miss it," and then she goes to the bathroom.

"I have _got_ to meet this woman," Kurt breathes.

"There you are," Blaine comes slugging down the hall. "I've been looking for you," he runs his finger across Kurt's chest.

"Can we use you bedroom?" Kurt asks me.

"Hell no. No. No," I start pushing them down the hall and back into the living room.

Everyone is absorbed in their conversations, so I make my way into the kitchen for some peace and quiet. I take a big gulp of wine and relax back against the counter.

"You okay?" Quinn walks in to get some more chips to bring out to the living room.

"So many people," I groan.

"I know," she sighs. "I'm gonna ask you a question and I want you to think really carefully about it before you answer okay?"

"Okay?" I draw out.

"Rachel has this idea-"

"No-"

"But you don't even-"

"I know what you are gonna say and just no," I fold my arms across my chest.

"You would make me go alone?"

"Quinn don't try to guilt trip me into-"

"I will give you fifty dollars."

"Okay deal." I stick my hand out for her to shake, but then pull it back at the last second. "Fifty dollars and you have to get me coffee whenever I want it."

Quinn rolls her eyes, "Okay, fine." And we shake on it.

The rest of the evening doesn't turn out that bad. Mostly because I am too buzzed to even care. Kurt kept nagging me about seeing a picture of Brittany and when I finally showed it to him, he shut the hell up.

It also turns out that Sugar is a pretty entertaining person one you look past all the weird, she got us all to play a game of Pictionary.

/

"Why did I agree to this?" I say standing in line to get into a store.

"Because you want to be a part of the Black Friday magic," Rachel exclaims.

"Oh yeah, this is_ so_ magical, standing outside in the freezing cold around crazy people who are all dressed in their pajamas."

"Okay Mrs. Grinch, this is the perfect opportunity to get Brittany a Christmas gift."

"Yeah, that I could also buy when it's not dark and negative thirty degrees outside," I pull my coat closer to my body, shaking my arms and legs trying to warm up. "Quinn should be back by now," I say looking over the crowd for her.

"She's almost back," Rachel assures me. "What?" Rachel's asks when she notices me staring at her.

"Did you have to put the black stuff under your eyes?"

"I'm on a mission."

"You look ridiculous."

"We'll see who's ridiculous when I get all the bargains."

"Quinn!" I shout when I see her walking toward us. "Oh thank god. I thought I was going to die."

"Yeah, here's your five dollar cup of coffee and bagel."

"Guys there're opening the doors!" Rachel starts bouncing up and down.

"Are you gonna buy anything?" Quinn asks me completely ignoring Rachel's excitement, both of us way too tired to be awake right now. I think that says a lot considering Quinn is such a morning person.

I shrug my shoulders as I bring my coffee to my lips. It warms my body immediately and I momentarily stop shivering.

Suddenly, Quinn and I are being pushed forward by a mob of people and it causes me to drop my bagel.

Well, at least my coffee survived.

"Rachel?" Quinn calls as she looks around. "Rachel!"

"Maybe she got trampled," I mumble to myself.

I look into the store and see that Rachel is already inside and making her way around, in fact she already had a few items in her hands.

She must have snuck her way in there.

I guess sometimes it pays to be so tiny.

/

"Do you really need all that lotion?" I ask Rachel as we are walking home after _hours_ of shopping and standing in line.

"It was on sale," she shrugs.

"And all that silverware?"

"Ten dollars, how can I not need it?"

"Okay, but boxers?"

"I'm liberated!"

"That doesn't even make sense. Whatever I'm too tired for this." I feel like a zombie and my eyes are literally burning.

Finally I see my apartment building and it has never looked so beautiful.

I climb the stairs to my apartment, dragging my body as well as I can. I just wanna cuddle up next to Brittany and sleep for the next year.

That would be so perfect.

/

The moment I see Brittany walking toward me, my heart begins to flutter inside my chest.

"Hey," I greet her and pull her into a hug. I breathe her in because two whole days without seeing her was absolute torture. Okay, it wasn't _that _bad, but it's nice to be able to hold her again.

"I brought you something," she hands me a sweatshirt that looks pretty beat up.

"You shouldn't have?" I say skeptically.

"Well, if you don't like it, I'll take it back. It's my favorite," she starts to pull it back to her.

"No, no. I love it," I smile at her. "I just- why are you giving this to me?"

"Because I stole yours, and I'm gonna keep it because it smells like you, so you can have mine."

"Ah, so _you_ are the sweatshirt thief?"

"I probably should have told you huh?" she says, tugging me closer by the lapels of my coat.

"Nah, it's all good."

"It did help me sleep without you though," she brings her hands to the small of my back.

"I'm glad I could help," I lean up to give her a quick kiss, "now let's get home."

* * *

**Finally had the chance to put this up! **

**Thanks for reading!**

**The song is Some Hearts by Carrie Underwood **


	14. Chapter 14

"You ready to go?" Brittany jumps onto the mattress.

"No," I cover my eyes with the blankets.

"Is there anything I can do to make you ready?" She asks, leaning over my face.

"Yeah," I pull her down into me, "stop being so hyper."

"But I'm excited," she nuzzles into my neck.

"I'm excited too," I finally admit, the smile stretching across my face.

"You're not scared?" She asks timidly. "Because if you don't want to do this I totally understand."

"No, I promised you I would." I grab Brittany's face in my hands and rest our foreheads together. "But you have to promise me that you won't let me die okay?"

"If I let you die, I'll pay you ten dollars."

"Ten dollars? Is that all I'm worth to you?"

"But I only have ten dollars in cash," she puffs her lower lip out. "I can go empty my account for you and I'll be broke, but it's okay because I'll still have you, right?"

"Of course," I give her a peck on the lips. "But not if you kill me."

/

I feel like a baby giraffe when it first learns to walk. I seriously have no control over my legs. Brittany grabs hold of my hand as she leads me out to the rink.

"Britt, where are you going?" I ask, reaching for her.

"Relax, I'm right here, okay?" I grab her elbow with a death grip as I slide forward onto the ice.

Brittany wanted to take me ice skating, so here we are.

Brittany starts to move forward again, but I don't follow her. "Why am I not moving?" I cry, my legs wobbling as I try to hold onto her.

"You have to keep your feet parallel," Brittany laughs.

"Oh right," I look down to my feet and slowly move them so they are straight. "Whoa," I jerk forward as Brittany pulls me. "Why is this so easy for you?" I watch her feet as she glides backwards.

"I'm a dancer," she shrugs. "And I used to ice skate all the time. My dad always took me when I was younger."

Brittany keeps pulling along, slowly, as I try to get the hand of moving on ice.

"I don't know how to turn!" I yell when Brittany starts moving in a different direction.

"Just lean with your body. We'll go slow."

I make it through the turn a little less gracefully than I had hoped.

When Brittany first suggested that we go ice skating this was precisely the reason I didn't want to go, but she convinced me that it wouldn't be that difficult. Now I know she is a liar.

It probably takes us twenty minutes to make it around the rink one time.

"Can we take a breather for just a minute?" I ask, grasping the wall to pull myself toward the door on the side.

"Sure," she smiles. "You want some hot chocolate?"

"Mmm, yes please," I am so thankful when I step back on solid ground. If no one was looking, I would bend over and kiss the earth. "I'll go find a bench," I look around, there are a few off to the side, so I start waddling toward those.

"Here." Brittany comes back moments later carrying two cups of hot chocolate.

"Thanks," I smile up at her. She takes a seat across from me, both of us facing each other with our legs straddling the bench. "So, what's on the agenda for our Christmas trip?" I bring the cup to my lips and take a huge gulp, not thinking about how hot it would be. "Fuck!"

"Careful," Brittany reaches forward with her hand, brushing her thumb along my lower lip and catching the few drops that spilled out of my mouth. "Um..." She glances down to my lips, then back up to my face. "We decorate. We play Christmas charades. We visit my grandparents. And _I _Christmas shop because I always wait til the last minute."

So, Brittany is a procrasta-santa too.

"Sounds good. I think my family just does Christmas Day, is that okay?"

"Of course."

"I would like to apologize in advance for my family. They can get obnoxious," I cringe just thinking about it.

"I'm sure I'll be fine," Brittany laughs. "Aren't all families obnoxious though?"

"Yours isn't." I tilt my cup back, draining the last drop into my mouth. "Where do your grandparents live?"

"Oh, well they live like two hours away from us, so we kind of meet in the middle at our cabin."

"You guys have a cabin? Is it in the woods?"

"Mhmm," Brittany answers. "It's awesome in the summer. It's right by a lake."

Off to our side, a kid falls off of the bench, causing me and Brittany to bust up laughing. We get a nasty look from the kid's mother, but when someone falls, it's funny. Brittany pats my leg before standing up and extending a hand out to me.

"You ready to go back out there?"

My feet start to hurt just thinking about it.

"Yeah," I mumble and stand up.

It's a little bit easier this time around, I think I'm finally getting the hang of it. I don't have to hold on to Brittany like I am about to jump out of an airplane.

"Look at you go," Brittany exclaims. "I'm gonna let go now," she starts sliding her hand out of mine. I panic and grab it tighter.

"No! No. Don't let go."

"Okay," she pulls me closer so I am basically hugging her. "I won't let go," she whispers into my ear.

/

"Will you help me pack?" Brittany asks on the way back to her place.

"You're not packed yet?"

"No," she looks to the ground, scuffing her boots across the sidewalk.

"But we leave in a day," I tell her.

"Yeah, I have issues with packing."

"Yes, I will help you pack," I lean up to peck her cheek, well the little that's showing. Brittany has a scarf wrapped around her face and she is wearing a beanie, so most of it is covered.

As we are approaching Brittany's apartment, I see a figure sitting on the steps.

I squint my eyes to see who it is, but I don't recognize them. Brittany must though because she stops walking and just stares forward.

"Amy?" She calls out, her voice high and questioning.

The woman on the steps looks up toward us, shivering in the cold and pulling her coat closer to her body.

"Britt," she breathes out, standing up off the steps to greet us.

Brittany takes a tentative step backwards at her movement. I look up to see that Brittany's eyebrows are furrowed together and she has a hard look on her face. "What are you doing here?" Brittany says sharply. "How did you even know I lived here?"

"I talked to Mike. He told me," Amy says carefully. "I wanted to see you-"

"Why are you here?" Brittany states more firmly.

"I just wanted to talk to you," she starts moving forward, but Brittany takes another step back. "You knew I was in town, I texted you."

"You should leave," I step forward so I am between Brittany and Amy.

"And who are you?" She looks me up and down, her voice changing from soft and airy, to hard and demanding.

"Who am_ I_? Who the fuck are you? Just showing up at someone's apartment unannounced after you cheated on them," Brittany grabs my arm as I take a step closer to Amy.

"San, don't," Brittany warns me.

I let out a huff of air and take a step back toward Brittany's side. I grab Brittany's hand, purposefully rubbing it in her face.

It works because I see Amy eye our hands, and her whole body deflates.

"I'll leave you alone," she swallows thickly, walking past Brittany and brushing into her shoulder lightly. "I just wanted to apologize. I'm not here to start anything." She looks to me when she says this.

Brittany doesn't speak, she just gives a weak nod, but I can see the tears welling up behind her eyes.

After Amy leaves, Brittany drops my hand and begins walking back to the apartment.

She doesn't even wait for me like she normally does when we get to the door. She just pulls it open and it falls shut just before I reach it.

"Britt," I call out as she rounds the corner to the stair case, but she doesn't answer me. Brittany is a lot faster than me, so she makes it to her apartment a good minute before I do.

I enter the apartment out of breath and frantically searching for Brittany. Rachel comes from the hallway looking just about as confused as I feel.

"Where is she?" I pant out.

"Santana, what did you do?" Rachel asks me.

"I didn't do anything," I tell her.

Rachel narrows her eyes at me, but then her features soften and she points behind her.

"She's in the bathroom."

I quickly brush past Rachel and make my way toward the bathroom. I carefully lean my head against the door, pressing my ear against it to see if I can hear Brittany. I faintly hear a sniffle, so I try to twist the knob, but it's locked.

"Britt?" I lightly knock on the door.

"I'll be out in a minute," she says through another sniffle, her voice strained.

"I'll be in your room," I say gently though the door. I give her a few seconds to answer and when she doesn't, I lower my head to my chest and make my way into her bedroom.

I sit on the edge of the bed, wringing my hands together as I wait for Brittany to come out.

Brittany opens the door, offering me a small smile, which I know is forced because her eyes are still puffy from crying, but I do my best to accept it and give her a small smile as well. She walks to the other side of the bed to lay down, facing away from me and curls into herself.

I try to think of something to say, but nothing really seems appropriate. If Brittany wanted to talk to me about what happened, she would. So, instead I just lay behind her, feeling that is the only comfort I can really offer right now, and wrap my arms around her body.

Brittany grabs hold of my hand that is resting on her stomach and laces our fingers together, which eases some of the tension inside of me.

We stay like that for what feels like an eternity, until Brittany's shoulders have stopped shaking and her breathing has evened out. In any normal circumstance, I probably would have fallen asleep. It feels like we have been laying here for at least an hour, but I can't. She may not want to talk about it, but I sure as hell am not going to leave her awake by herself when she is this upset.

I place a kiss to Brittany's exposed shoulder, she stirs a little in front of me, but otherwise doesn't move. She finally turns around in the circle of my arms and hides her face in my chest, pulling me into her and holding on tight.

I hear her sniffle again. I start rubbing her back, hoping that it will calm her down. It seems to work.

Brittany pulls back to look at me, her eyes red and puffy from crying. I smooth my thumbs over her cheek and under her eyes to try and wipe away the tear tracks. I lean in and kiss the tip of her nose. A tiny smile forms on her lips.

Brittany's smile fades almost as soon as it appears. She stares down at me, her eyes darting back and forth between mine. My brows furrow together as I try to take in her expression.

Brittany leans her forehead against mine for a moment, pressing her eyelids shut and worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. My hands grip the sides of her hipbones, trying to convey through touch that I will be whatever she needs right now.

Brittany has never explained to me _exactly _what happened between her and Amy. I just know that they were together for a long time and Amy really hurt her. Seeing her again must have brought back some of those feelings.

Brittany reaches down with one of her own hands, finding mine and lacing our fingers together. My heart is hammering inside my chest, feeling enraged at Amy for hurting Brittany and then having the audacity to show up here unannounced. Well, apparently _Brittany_ knew she was in town, but that's another issue entirely.

The next thing I know, Brittany is kissing me, hard, her nose smashing against mine and tongue pushing past my lips. I let out a surprised gasp as she aggressively palms my breast with the hand that's not holding my own. My fingers squeeze harder at her hips as Brittany begins to grind down into me.

I push my thigh up into her on reflex, causing her to take in a sharp breath. Brittany stops kissing me, pulling her head back enough to look me in the eye. Her eyes are still glossy from crying and her cheeks tinged red. Soon enough, both of us are moving together, still fully clothed and gasping into each others mouth.

Needing to touch Brittany, I push my hand between her body and mine so I can cup her over her jeans. Brittany lets out an appreciative groan at the sensation, resting her forehead against mine once more. She quickly undoes the button on her jeans and unzips them before grabbing hold of my hand and to guide it where she needs me.

My fingers start rubbing against her immediately, but she stops my motions and pushes my hand down lower. I feel her wetness and my jaw slacken as she places my hand right above her entrance. She applies a little pressure, letting me know this is where she wants me, her eyes finding mine though hooded lids.

I gently slide a finger inside of her, marveling at the warmth and tightness. Brittany's eyes fall closed and her mouth hangs open as I enter her body. The angle is a little awkward and her jeans are restricting my movements, but I manage to start sliding my finger in and out of her, watching with adoration as I see the effects flash across her face.

The room is filled with heavy breathing as Brittany starts to rock against my hand again. I add a second finger to the mix when I can see the desperation for a release in her eyes.

The heel of my hand presses against her clit, trying to make that release happen for her. Brittany's walls start tightening around my fingers as her brows furrowing together as she grins down harder and harder. I curl my fingers inside of her, earning a surprised squeak from above, so I do it again and again until Brittany is panting into the air. I push my fingers further into her, moving harder and faster than before until she falls forward, burying her face in my shoulder as she comes. Brittany's body writhers above me and I keep moving my fingers, slowly bringing her down, until the very last tremor rolls through her body and she lets out a content sigh.

I remove my fingers from her, causing one last shock to pass over her. I wipe my hand on the covers before bringing it up to smooth the hair away from Brittany's face. Her body curls into me and she places a lingering kiss to my collar bone where her head is laying.

She clings tight to my body, wrapping her arms around me and keeping me close to her.

/

It's been almost two days since Brittany had a run in with her ex-girlfriend and to say things have been a little off between us would be an understatement. Sure, we had sex the other night, but she has been acting different around me ever since.

I want to talk to her about it, but I don't exactly know how to broach the subject.

The car ride thus far has been filled with uncomfortable silence. Rachel and Quinn have been asleep for the past hour. After the initial excitement of the road trip wore off, they just passed out. Brittany is sitting in the front seat next to me with her knees pulled up to her chest as she stares out the window. I sigh to myself, the music muting it so Brittany doesn't hear, and grip the steering wheel a little tighter.

About twenty minutes later, Rachel pops her head up from the back and informs everyone that she needs to relieve herself. When we reach the nearest rest stop, Quinn and Rachel are the first to exit. I make a move to open my door, but am stopped when Brittany sets her hand on my shoulder.

I turn to her slowly, my eyebrows furrowing together. She worries her lip between her teeth before leaning forward and pulling me into a kiss. Her hands grasp the sides of my face as I let out a sigh of relief at feeling her against me. Our mouths work together slowly, until she is pulling back. Brittany's eyes flicker open and she stares back into mine, biting on her lower lip again only this time, it's not in a nervous way. Her thumb caresses my cheek as the sides of her mouth turn up, causing a smile to spread across my face as well.

I open my mouth to say something, but Brittany has already jumped out of the car and is heading toward the bathrooms. I step out too, not needing to use the restroom because it's only been an hour and a half since our last stop, but I do need to stretch out.

The air outside is refreshing, cold, but refreshing. I take a few deep breaths and lean against the side of my car.

Quinn is the first one to reemerge, coming to stand next to me.

"Is something going on with you and Brittany?" She asks, I can feel her gaze on the side of my face, but I keep my eyes trained forward.

"We're fine," I breathe out, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my sweatshirt.

"Really?" She questions, turning her whole body to face me. "You guys haven't spoken one word to each other since we left."

I pinch my eyes shut, not wanting to be reminded of that fact, and take another deep breath, finally turning to face Quinn. "We- her ex kind of showed up the other day," I admit. Quinn's eyebrows furrow together, obviously not understanding why that would cause us a problem. "And Britt has been acting weird," I shrug.

"What do you mean weird?"

"Like," I start, but I don't really know how to explain it. "She's- I don't know, different? Not a bad different, just different," I sigh, getting frustrated at my explanation. Maybe it's just the fact that these past few days have been pretty hectic and we haven't had the opportunity to talk.

"Is it the one that-"

"Cheated on her, yeah." I finish Quinn's question. I hear a twig snap on the ground, breaking Quinn and I away from our conversation to see Brittany and Rachel walking toward us. Rachel looks from Brittany to me and smiles to herself.

Quinn looks up to me too, with a light smile on her face as well, like they know something that I don't. She grabs the keys from my hands. "You look exhausted. I'll drive for a while." I don't even have time to protest before Quinn is climbing into the driver's seat and calling for Rachel to sit in the front with her.

Brittany is already in the back seat, her hands nervously fidgeting in her lap as I slide in next to her.

"Hey," she greets me, her voice small and timid. I look over to her, she gives me a half smile, slightly ducking her head to her chest.

It's the first time I've heard her voice since we left and, god, it sounds so good.

Brittany opens her arms up, inviting me to curl up next to her. I gladly accept, laying my head down on her shoulder.

/

We just dropped Quinn and Rachel off at their houses and are heading to Brittany's.

As soon as we step through the front door, Brittany is being wrapped up in hugs from her parents and brother. I awkwardly stand off to the side, with a small smile playing at my lips as the family reacquaints themselves.

"Santana," Sam opens his arms, slowly stepping toward me.

I back up a little, but don't get very far before I hit the wall behind me with nowhere to go. I don't have time to move before Sam is giving me a bone crushing hug, lifting me off the ground.

"Sam, leave the poor girl alone," Lisa scolds, slapping Sam on the back of the head.

"I was just being nice," he tries to defend himself.

"Well, be nice and help these young ladies with their bags."

Sam lets out a huff, but goes to grab our bags and carries them up the stairs. Lisa turns to me with a smile on her face, "How are you sweetie?" She steps forward, wrapping me up in a, _much gentler_, hug.

She looks so different now that she's not in a hospital bed. Her eyes are brighter and she just looks so much healthier.

"I'm doing good," I answer as she steps back. Brittany slides over to her mother, throwing her arms around her neck.

"You girls going to help decorate tomorrow?" She address Brittany. Brittany nervously looks toward me, I just shrug my shoulders at her.

"Of course," Brittany beams.

"Oh good, you're sister isn't coming till later and I didn't want to be stuck working with Sam and your father all day," she scrunches up her face. "Now the house will look decent."

/

"You guys decorate the house together?" I ask as I fall onto Brittany's mattress.

Brittany crawls over me and plops down by my side. "Yep!" She says happily.

I turn my head to look at Brittany, her face is beaming. "What's got you so happy?" I turn to lay on my side, running my fingers across her stomach.

Her mood completely shifted the second half of our drive, she was back to her normal self.

Brittany twists her lips for a few moments before turning her head to look at me. "Having you here," she rolls her eyes at herself. "I'm really glad you're here."

"Me too."

I stare up at Brittany's ceiling, thinking about how much things have changed since the last time I was here. It wasn't even that long ago, yet it feels like a lifetime. I guess it's because I feel like a completely different person.

"What are you thinking about," Brittany asks from next to me.

I turn my head slightly to peer at her. She has her hands folded across her lap and her eyes closed.

"How did you know I was thinking?"

Brittany opens her eyes to look at me. "Because you were doing the thing with your hands," she says simply.

"What thing?" I lean up on my elbows.

"When you get nervous, you twist your hands together a lot."

"I'm not nervous," I tell her.

"You're not nervous about meeting my family? Well, my mom's side? All those people?" She asks, inching closer and closer. My eyes go wide as I start to think about all the people that I have to meet in a few days. "Aww, babe. I was just kidding," she grabs my face and pulls me into a kiss. "Everyone will love you," she assures me through a series of pecks. "Just like-"

The door to Brittany's room swings open and Sam is standing there with a creepy smirk on his face. Brittany immediately throws a pillow at him when she sees who it is.

"I just came to tell this lovely lady good night." He smiles at me and throws a wink in my direction before exiting the room.

"It's not even dark out," Brittany gets off the bed. "You could have closed the door," she yells down the hallway. "Sorry," she mumbles to me.

I just wave it off and watch Brittany saunter around her room. She grabs some more comfortable clothes from her closet, holding some out for me to take too.

As I am pulling my shirt over my head, I feel her arms snake around my waist and then I feel her breath hitting my ear.

"You are _so _sexy," she nips at my ear lobe before placing a kiss to my neck.

My body freezes with the shirt half way over my head. I make a move to pull it further over my head, but her hands come up and stop the motion. I turn a little in her arms to give her a questioning look. She just laces her fingers with mine.

"Let me," she slowly drags the shirt down my shoulders, brushing past the sides of my breasts, which causes me to shiver.

When she finishes, she wraps her arms around me and holds me close to her, our fingers laced together across my stomach. My eyes are falling shut, the warmth of Brittany and the exhaustion from driving all day is setting in. My head falls back to rest on Brittany's shoulder.

"You're not tired are you?" Brittany giggles into my ear.

"Of course not," I let out through a yawn.

"Dinner is almost ready," she informs me, moving us both back to the bed, "but if you want to sleep for a while..." Her voice trails off and before I know it I am tucked under the blankets with Brittany close behind me.

"Hey Britt?" I speak. She hums out a response from behind me. "We're okay, right?" I ask her, remembering the few days of very little communication that transpired between us.

"Why wouldn't we be?" she asks, kissing the back of my neck. When I don't answer right away, she lets out a sigh. "Is this about the other day?"

"Yeah," I mumble and turn to face her.

"I'm sorry," she leans forward to place a kiss to my forehead.

I've been wanting to ask Brittany this question for a while now, but it doesn't really seem appropriate.

"What?" she asks me, as though she just read my mind.

I chew on my bottom lip, trying to decide if I even want to know the answer.

"Do you- still have feelings for her?" I say in a tiny voice.

"No," she answers immediately. "I guess I reacted that way because I haven't seen her in so long. I don't know. It just hurt. It still hurts sometimes, but I don't have feelings for her that aren't hatred."

"I'm sorry she did that to you," I mumble.

"Do you believe in fate, Santana?" she asks.

"I dunno. I've never really thought about it."

"Well, I do."

/

It feels like one minute later when someone is knocking on the door saying that it's time to eat dinner.

I reluctantly peel my eyes open, immediately wanting to shut them again. My whole body is buzzing from the lack of sleep the night before and all the driving today, even if Quinn did take over for a few hours.

Brittany tightens her arms around me, pulling me against her body and pressing her nose into my back.

"I wanna sleep," she groans, "but I'm so hungry."

I turn around to face her, her arms still wrapped around me. I brush a few strands of hair away from her face, smoothing my thumbs across her cheek bones. Her eyes fall shut at the sensation and my eyes fall shut because I am so damn tired.

/

When we finally make it to the dinner table, after falling back asleep for a few minutes, everyone is sitting and ready to eat.

"Finally!" Sam calls from his spot.

Brittany sticks her tongue out at him, and takes her seat across from him. She pulls the chair next to her out a bit, smiling up at me and motioning for me to sit down.

"Sorry," Brittany addresses her mother. "We kinda fell asleep again."

"No worries," he mother smiles brightly.

Everyone digs into their food. Apparently _everyone_ is starving tonight. I just sit back silently and listen to all the different conversations going on around me. There is never a dull moment in the Pierce household, it seems.

There is, however, an awkward moment where the whole room goes quiet. I look up from my plate to see Lisa and Greg exchanging weird looks.

"Okay ladies," Greg starts, setting down his fork. "We have to ask…" I nervously look around the table, to find all eyes on me. "Are you two…?" he lets the question linger in the air.

"Ugh. _Dating._ Are you two dating?" Sam finishes.

My mouth drops open.

"Samuel!" his dad scolds.

"What? It's what you were going to ask!"

"Uh-" I draw out, wanting Brittany to take the reins on this. She grabs my hand underneath the table and gives everyone a nod.

Brittany's mom excitedly claps her hands together. My cheeks are heating up at the unwanted attention on my love life.

"So, Santana," Sam addresses me, "I'll have you know, I am trained in martial arts." He puts his hands up in offense. "So don't try anything silly with my baby sister," he points at me.

"Uh-"

"Excuse you," Brittany cuts in. "I am older than you."

I smile nervously from my place at the table and give Sam a short nod.

The rest of the night, he gives me threatening glares, but each time Brittany's mom notices, she slaps him on the head, so I guess its okay.

/

The next morning I wake up to the sound of hammering. I'm not really sure where its coming from, just that it's incredibly loud. I grab the pillow and throw it over my head in an attempt to dull the noise. It seems to work, but then I hear the bedroom door open and shut.

I peek over to the side of the bed where Brittany is supposed to be, but I find it empty. Not for long though because Brittany is crawling back into bed, holding out a cup of what I assume is coffee, for me to take.

I stretch out my body, before sitting up on the mattress to take the cup from her.

Brittany leans in to give me a quick kiss on the lips.

"Morning," she hums.

"Mmm, morning." I mumble back, reaching behind me with my free hand to rub my lower back.

"Is your back bothering you again?" She asks softly.

"Kind of, but it's just because I sat on my ass all day yesterday."

"You know, we could have helped you drive. Taken shifts," she tells me.

"You and Quinn can, Rachel isn't allowed," I tell her. "Not since the accident." Brittany looks at me with wide eyes. "I'm kidding," I laugh, almost causing some coffee to spill out. "She doesn't know how to drive."

"Really," I nod my head as I take a sip. "That poor, poor soul. I got my license as soon as I could."

"Oh, me too," I agree with Brittany. "It was the first step toward freedom."

I always hated having to ask my parents to take me place because they never would, so when I got my license, I went anywhere and everywhere.

"So, is your entire family going to be at the cabin the whole time?" I ask.

"Um, no. They just stay one night."

"Mmm," I hum out, still not really awake yet. "When do we have to be out there?" I ask when I hear the hammer going again.

"Whenever we want," Brittany shrugs.

I cast my gaze toward Brittany and see her foot bouncing at the end of the bed like she is just itching to get out there.

"Go ahead," I roll my eyes playfully. "I'll be out in like half an hour," I tell her.

Brittany's smile beams across her face as she peppers my face with kisses before finally stopping at my lips. She takes her time there as she takes my lower lip between hers.

"Mmm, take your time babe." She mumbles into my mouth. I think Brittany has gathered just how important my coffee time is to me. "But not too much time. Don't want you to miss the fun stuff."

/

After putting on all my winter gear, I finally make it outside. Brittany and Sam are in the yard setting something up while Lisa and Greg are hanging the lights over the garage.

Brittany spots me right away and waves me over.

"Whoa," Sam calls, "it's not _that_ cold," he exclaims.

Okay, so maybe I went a little overboard with two pairs of sweatpants and like five shirts, but what can I say?

"She hates the cold," Brittany slaps his arm.

Brittany shows me what to do to set everything up, which is mostly just dragging reindeer across the lawn so they can put it where it needs to be. It's totally fine with me. They _have_ been doing it longer anyway.

Every time I bring another reindeer, Brittany smiles at me and kisses me on the nose.

Sam makes a gagging noise. "I can't wait till Jennifer gets here. I feel like a third wheel."

"You are more than welcome to go help mom and dad on the roof," Brittany motions toward her parents.

"No, I gotta get going soon anyway."

Brittany's face turns down a little. "Why," she asks.

"Work," Sam shrugs.

After Sam leaves, Brittany and I make our way to the porch to hang up some lights. I leave the actual decorating to Brittany again while I just untangle them for her.

I have been working on this strand of lights for at least ten minutes now and I'm starting to get a little frustrated. I grumble as I try repeatedly to get the knots out, but fail again. Brittany laughs at me from her place on the chair she is using as leverage.

I look up at her with an annoyed expression, which only causes her to laugh more. "Are you laughing at me?"

"I'm sorry," she hops off the chair and comes to sit by me, "you just look so adorable in your big coat and hat," she pinches my cheeks. I let out another annoyed huff, the cold causing my grumpy side to show. "Here. Let me," Brittany grabs the string of lights and begins working on it.

Within a few minutes she has it untangled.

I give her a perplexed look. Brittany smiles at me and wiggles her fingers. "Magic," she says and then winks at me.

Yeah, her fingers are pretty magic.

"Look who it is," I hear Brittany's dad call from the roof. In the next instant, Brittany is taking off toward the car that just pulled into the driveway.

I get up from my spot on the steep to see two blondes in the driveway hugging. It must be Brittany's sister. Brittany pulls away from the hug and bounces in her spot. Before I know it, both of them are standing right in front of me.

It's so weird seeing the two of them together, they look so much alike. Brittany is taller and her hair is longer.

"This is Santana," Brittany motions to me. "Santana this is Jennifer."

"Santana," she repeats, holding out her hand. "Nice to finally put a face to the name," she sends me a wink. "Have you guys drank the cider yet?"

"Nope, but the whole house smells like it."

"Yes," she pumps her fist, just like Brittany does when she is excited. "I'm gonna go put my stuff in my room," she looks down at her bags.

"Do you need help?" Brittany asks her.

"No, it's just these two."

I watch Brittany watch her sister run off into the house.

"What," Brittany asks when she notices me smiling at her.

"You guys are exactly the same."

"You're not going to dump me and date my sister are you?" she walks up to me.

My mouth falls open. "Hell no," I tell her. "You are irreplaceable," I lean up to give her a kiss.

Brittany sticks her tongue out at me and goes back to decorating the porch.

Just as Brittany hangs the last light, her parents' descend from the roof top.

"Looks good ladies," Brittany's dad compliments. "Hey, where did your sister go?" He looks around the yard.

"She might be stealing some cider," Brittany points into the house.

Brittany's mother gasps and runs into the house, her father trailing right behind her.

"I don't know why they're surprised," Brittany turns to me, "she does this every year." Brittany grabs my hand and starts pulling me inside the house. "Wow, your cold," she looks down at my hand.

"Yeah," I breathe, my teeth chattering a little.

/

After drinking the cider, which was absolutely delicious, Brittany's dad asked if we could go and decorate the tree house. I reluctantly agreed, not wanting to go out into the cold, but also wanting to be alone with Brittany for a while. They even got a little Christmas tree to put in there.

"So, Britt," I speak as I string some lights around the tiny tree. "I have a question."

"Yeah?"

"Sam, he-" I start, but then stop, not really knowing how to ask this. "He looks like you and Jennifer, but he _doesn't_ look like you and Jennifer."

Brittany chuckles a little at my statement. "He's adopted," she tells me.

"Oh," I breathe.

"Yeah, I was seven when they adopted him. His parents died when he was little."

"Wow, that's rough."

Losing one parent is hard enough, I can't imagine what it would be like to lose two.

"But it never made any difference to us and I've always felt like he is my brother, because he is. He always stuck up for me. Even got suspended for beating a kid up because he called me stupid."

"So, you two are really close then?"

Brittany nods, sucking her lips into her mouth. "He was home schooled with me. He has dyslexia, so being able to do things at his own pace was something he needed. Now he's just an ass," she laughs.

"Yeah, a martial arts knowing ass," I mumble under my breath.

"Babe, you know he was just kidding about that right?" She comes up behind me and rubs up and down my arms.

"He seemed pretty serious to me," I tell her, turning around to face her.

"He's just protective. Especially after what happened with Amy," her voice lowers.

Just hearing her name makes me cringe.

"I would never hurt you like that, Britt." I look down at my fingers playing with the hem of her shirt.

"I know," she pulls me into a hug. "Me too. I would never cheat on you," she squeeze me tight.

"Seriously though, I've dated- well _been_ with, a lot of people and none of them even come close to the way I feel about you."

Then it hits me.

I haven't felt this way about anyone else before because I've never been _inlove_ before.

"Um," I start backing away from Brittany. "I should probably call Quinn. You know- to see how she's doing," and before Brittany can say anything, I am climbing down the latter.

I rush into Brittany's room to grab my cell phone, immediately finding Quinn's name.

"Pick up. Pick up." I chant over and over again.

_"Hello?"_ the line finally clicks.

"Quinn!"

"_Yes?"_

"I'm in love," I tell her.

"_I'm flattered, Santana, but don't you think Brittany will be a little jealous?"_

_"_No, with Brittany. I'm in love with Brittany," I correct her.

_"Okay?"_

"So, help me!"

_"Help you what?"_

"What do I do?"

The line goes silent for a moment before Quinn answers.

"_Okay, I have an idea, but it's totally crazy," _she tells me.

"Go on."

_"Tell her."_

I let out a loud sigh.

"I can't," I breathe down the line.

"_Why not," _she sighs.

"Because."

"_I believe in you Lopez," _she says before the line clicks.

"Quinn?" I ask down the line. I let out a groan of frustration, pressing the phone into my forehead.

I hear a meow from inside the bedroom, which causes me to jump. I look around to find Lord Tubbington laying on top of my bag.

"Oh Tubbs," I breathe out, kneeling down in front of him. "Is this how you feel about Kitty?" he lets out another meow. "I totally get it now. Looks like we're in too deep."

As I sit there, wondering why I am talking to a cat, I get an idea. I shoo Lord Tubbington away from my bag, after thanking him for his help, of course, and pull out Brittany's gift.

/

Ever since my realization, I haven't been able to get the thought out of my mind. It was on my mind all day yesterday and the whole drive up to the cabin.

I'm in love.

I'm in love with Brittany.

I feel so many different things right now: fear, happiness, excitement. I don't even know what to do with myself. I don't even think I went to sleep last night.

My eyes were shut, but my mind just kept running and my body had this buzz running through it, wanting to tap Brittany on the shoulder and just confess everything to her in the dead of night.

That way she wouldn't be able to see my face, or the hurt that would be there if she didn't say it back.

Normally, Brittany's family stays through New Years at the cabin and I feel a little bad because I am taking her away from that.

Her family kindly agreed to celebrate the night _before _Christmas Eve instead of _on _Christmas Eve so that we could be with my family on Christmas Day.

Now, Christmas isn't something I normally get excited about, in fact I actually have come to despise the holiday over the past few years. But this year, I am excited, maybe it's because I have Brittany. Or that I am seeing my family. Or maybe it's because Brittany's Christmas spirit is rubbing off on me.

Whatever the reason, I find myself anxiously awaiting tomorrow.

I have been helping Brittany's mom with decorating some cookies. Brittany was down here helping us, but she disappeared a while ago and hasn't returned.

"I'm sorry you couldn't met the rest of the family," Lisa tells me.

"No, it's okay." I wave it off. I didn't mean to miss meeting her family, it's just the way it worked out. "If you want Brittany to stay to see everyone-"

"Are you kidding, Brittany is probably happy she doesn't have to deal with all the crazies. At least she gets to see her grandparents. They have been dying to see her since they couldn't make it on Thanksgiving."

"Thank you for letting her come with me. It really means a lot," I smile at her.

"Well, you really mean a lot to her," Lisa sets her hand on top of mine.

I have to swallow down a lump in my throat at her mother's words.

Brittany comes back into the room not a moment later, her eyes shining and face glowing. She smiles at her mom, who gives her a smirk back.

"All right ladies," she yawns, "I'm gonna hit the hay." Lisa turns to look at me. "Be prepared for the Pierce Family Christmas Extravaganza tomorrow."

"I will be."

"Night mom," Brittany gives her mother a kiss on the cheek.

"Night girls."

/

"What's all this?" I ask when we get back to our room.

Brittany shrugs her shoulders, "just a little something for the most amazing girlfriend in the world." Brittany has strung a few strands of lights across our room and it looks amazing. "Get over here," she pulls me toward her by my hand. "I just wanted to have our own little Christmas, away from everyone else."

"Is it like a sexy Christmas?" I wiggle my eye brows and start stroking Brittany's arm.

"God I love you," Brittany says through a giggle, which immediately stops as her hand comes up to cover her mouth. I can feel my own mouth hang open. "Dammit!" She swears, covering her face with both hands.

I sit there frozen in my spot, my hand now grasping at the arm I was caressing moments ago.

I wanna believe what I just heard, but it just feels so random and then she said dammit?

What does _that_ mean? That she didn't mean to say it because she didn't mean it?

I can feel the confusion on my face, my eyebrows scrunched together.

"Santana? Are you gonna say something?" Brittany ask cautiously. "That didn't go how I planned. I was gonna make a big speech-"

Brittany's voice pulls me out of my trance, "you had a speech?" The corners of my mouth twitch up.

"Well, kind of," she looks down at her lap. She slowly lifts her gaze back to mine and I can't even begin to explain what is happening inside me.

Just- _happiness._

"You don't have to say it back. I just- I want you to know what you mean to me. Everything." She breathes out. "You mean everything, and I know I've only known you for a few months, but you're just that awesome. I'm sorry- I just- I'm in love with you," she shrugs.

I still don't say anything. Nervous Brittany is so cute, plus this is payback for all the times she scared the shit out of me. Like when I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said no at first. That was a moment, even though it only lasted about thirty seconds, that I wanted to just die.

I let out a breath and slowly turn to face away from Brittany. I reach down to my bag that is sitting on the floor and pull out the box with Brittany's gift in it and I hand it to her without looking at her.

I can feel her hesitation as she takes it from me slowly.

"Santana?" She says nervously and I can feel the smile that's threatening to cross my face, so I just turn further away from her.

I hear her unwrapping the gift, but then something comes over me. "Wait," I turn back to face Brittany, placing a hand atop hers. "Before you do that, there is something I want to say." I clear my throat, taking both of her hands in mine and pulling them into my lap. "I-" I start, but nothing seems right. Nothing seems good enough. "I don't know why, but you-" I furrow my brows together, trying to find the words. "I've never- fuck!" I curse out of frustration.

I scan Brittany's face as though everything I want to say, everything I _need_ to say, will be written there. She is looking at me expectantly and almost afraid, like she doesn't know where this conversation will end up.

But, see, the answer_ is_ written on her face because she is the answer. _She_ is the reason for the way my heart is beating wildly in my chest right now. _She_ is the reason I spent countless nights tossing and turning because she makes me feel so restless. _She_ is the reason I would spend a holiday I hate with people I don't even know.

The reason, the answer, is Brittany.

I take a deep breath, a smile finally spreading across my face and look her dead in the eye.

"I love you," I breathe like it's the only truth I've ever known. Then after a beat I add, "too." Brittany's eyes gloss over with unshed tears. "You know," I scoot closer to Brittany. "I'm not an expert on love, but I don't think you are supposed to cry."

A bubble of laughter escapes her throat.

"They're happy tears," she tells me, resting her forehead against mine.

"Are you gonna open your present," I look down to the unopened gift that's now sitting on the bed. "Or do you want to wait until Christmas. I just brought it with me because I didn't know if you wanted to do it now or later."

"I think we should wait till Christmas," she tells me.

"Okay," I grab the box and put it back in my bag, "but if I catch you snooping..."

Brittany lets out a gasp, "I would never."

"So you're really gonna make me play Christmas charades tomorrow," I groan.

"Yes," Brittany grabs the sides of my face to kiss me. "It'll be fun," she tells me. "We can be on the same team," Brittany swings her leg over mine and straddles me.

"Fine," I grumble, putting on a pout.

"I love you," she sing songs, and the pout fades away.

"I love you too," I roll my eyes at her, leaning up to capture her lips in mine.

/

"Babe," I whisper on the couch where Brittany is snuggled up by my side.

Her grandparents arrived an hour ago. It was an intense sixty minutes for me. Brittany's grandma is small, but she has some fire, talking a mile a minute. I barely even remember what happened.

"Hmm?"

"I don't have an ugly Christmas sweater," I tell her, trying to keep my voice down because her dad fell asleep on the chair across from us.

"You can borrow one of mine," she twists her neck to look up at me.

"But isn't that, like, cheating or something?"

Brittany lets out a laugh, "um- no."

"Can we go now? I don't want your grandma to grill me on why I wasn't prepared."

"Yeah, that was my fault. They take that competition pretty seriously. I should have told you." She gets up off the couch and extends her hand out to me.

When we get up to Brittany's room, she instantly heads to her closet. She throws a pile of sweaters onto the bed.

"Whoa," I breathe, "that's quite a selection you've got going."

"I take this competition very seriously too," she quirks an eyebrow at me. "But I'll let you have first pick."

I rifle through all the different selection that she has laid out, trying to find the most ugly, but most decent one in the bunch. No luck so far.

"Is this a Christmas tiger?" I hold one up with a tiger in a Santa hat.

"My mom made me that one," she tells me. I keep staring at her, waiting for an explanation. "What?" She asks when she finally notices.

I shake my head and continue my search. They are all pretty ridiculous. I finally settle on one that looks like a bunch of different sweaters were stitched together.

And Brittany picks hers out.

When Brittany finishes pulling her shirt over her head, I slide up in front of her, wrapping my arms around her waist.

"Mrs. Pierce," I say, biting my lower lip, "you look so sexy in your moose Christmas sweater."

I lean in to attack her neck with kisses, trailing my lips wherever they lead me and reaching up her shirt to caress her soft skin. Brittany starts to giggle and is about to say something when the door to our room flies open.

"Oh God!" A voice exclaims. "Get a room," I turn to see Jennifer standing there with her hand over her eyes.

"We have one!" Brittany bites. "What do you want?" She asks as I bury my face into her out of embarrassment.

"Sam wants to play poker. He said he's bored."

Brittany nudges me away from her body, "wanna play?"

I am so embarrassed that I would probably agree to anything, so I just wordlessly nod my head. It could have been Brittany's parents, or her grandparents, so I'm thankful it was her sister.

Jennifer leaves the room and I back away from Brittany, cover my face with my hands.

"Aww," she coos. "Is Santana embarrassed?" She pokes me in the sides.

"Stop it," I say, still mortified.

"Stop what?" She peppers kisses across my face and knocking me back onto the mattress.

I try and push her away, but she keeps attacking me.

"Brittany," I warn her.

"Oh come on. Don't be embarrassed. I've seen Jenn in much worse positions that just kissing."

"Ew," I sit up, causing Brittany to roll off of me. "Let's just go play."

/

"Okay, _girls_," Sam says shuffling the deck of cards. "Prepare to be schooled."

"Oh we'll see, Trouty," poker is my game and lips here is about to learn that.

"Ooh," Jennifer says. "Looks like we have a dual going on here."

I purse my lips and quirk an eyebrow at Sam who is staring me down as he shuffles the deck one last time.

"Get em' babe," Brittany smirks at me. "Go _all_ Lima Heights."

"If you two cheat," Sam points at us.

"I don't need to cheat," I narrow my eyes at him, to which he narrows his.

"Okay, enough" Jennifer says, eying the three of us. "Let's do this."

/

"Alright, lay em down," I say to Sam.

Brittany and Jennifer folded a while ago, so it's just been me and Sam. He smirks a little to himself, before laying his cards down on the table.

"Four of a kind."

He won with that hand a few games ago, but only once.

I twist my lips and furrow my brow. "Nice hand," I commend, "but not as nice as this," I say, laying my cards down. "Straight flush," I boast.

"Dammit!" Sam yells.

"Watch your language young man," Brittany's grandma walks into the kitchen and slaps him on the back of the head.

"Sorry grandma," Sam mutters, ducking his head.

"Sam, your grandfather needs your help with something in the living room. He's having trouble with the camera."

Sam lets out a huff, but leaves to go help his grandpa. Brittany's sister follows him.

"So, Santana, I hear you are quite the singer," Brittany's grandma says as she peals some potatoes.

I look over to Brittany, but she just shrugs her shoulders.

"Uh- not really," I let out a nervous laugh.

"My little Brittany would never lie to me," she turns around to look at us. I kick Brittany under the table.

"I said she _used _to sing grandma." She sighs.

"I used to sing too you know," she looks up to the ceiling, recalling past memories. "Got an award and everything," she snaps back into reality. "We should duet sometime."

My eyes widen at the request.

"Are you bothering Brittany's girlfriend again?" Lisa asks, giving me an apologetic smile.

"What?" Her grandmother says offended. "I would never. I'm just trying to bond, that's all."

"It's okay Mrs. Pierce," I say from the table.

"Please call me Lisa. Mrs. Pierce is her title," she points to her mother.

Brittany's grandpa enters the kitchen, carrying his camera with him.

"Okay everyone, well, Brittany and Santana, let's see if I can work this thing," he turns to Sam who is following close behind. "So I just press this here?" Sam nods his head. "Okay, get together now." Brittany moves a little closer to me. "Come on now, like you like each other," he tells us.

Brittany wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulls us together. Usually in pictures, I have to force a smile, but right now it's all natural. Brittany's family is so easy going it's ridiculous.

I really hope my family is this accepting when they find out.

"Who's ready for Christmas charades?" Brittany's dad yells after her grandpa spends about half an hour snapping photos of everyone.

/

"I got you this time, Lopez," Sam says to me when I sit next to him on the couch with Brittany at my other side. "This is _my_ game."

"Team captains are Lisa and grandpa," Greg says. Both people hop up and stand in front of everyone. "Ladies pick first."

"Okay, I pick Brittany first," her mother smiles. Brittany hops up to join her mom. She leans in to whisper something in her ear and then smiles back at me.

"Jenny," her grandpa calls next.

"Santana," I walk up to join them.

"Told ya we would be on the same team," Brittany whispers into my ear.

With everyone with their teams, we go on opposite sides of the living room. Brittany and I were pared with her parents and her grandparents are with Sam and Jennifer.

"Do you know how to play Santana?" Greg asks me.

"I think so. Like charades but Christmas, right?"

"Right," Lisa tells me.

Turns out I don't know that many Christmas related things, so I'm kind of bringing the team down. Though have a feeling that it doesn't really matter seeing how much Brittany knows, this _is _her favorite holiday after all.

Even with all the knowledge Brittany has for all things Christmas, it didn't really help when_ I_ had to act things out or guess. How are you even supposed to act out Rudolph?

I'm not even really sure who won the game. It ended with both sides screaming at each other and our team yelling at Sam for a technicality. He was making sounds, which isn't _necessarily_ talking, but still isn't allowed. I have to admit that it was fun though.

As soon as everyone settled down, things got pretty quiet.

I look around the room at all the smiles on everyone's faces and the happiness that is filling the room. It made me really miss my own family and how it used to be around this time of year before my mother passed away.

I felt my throat closing up, so I decide to go stand out on the front porch for a while. As much as I hate the cold air, I can't deny that it feels nice right now.

I look up into the night sky at all the stars that are above me and wonder if my mom is up there somewhere looking down on me right now.

"Mom," I whisper into the air, my voice trembling slightly. "If you're listening," I swallow thickly. "I just want you to know that I miss you, and I'm _so_ sorry," a tear spills from my eye. I quickly wipe it away, folding my arms across my chest and lean against the pillar.

"San?" Brittany's voice is soft and timid from behind me.

I bring my hand up to wipe both of my eyes. "Yeah," I answer, trying to steady my voice.

"I just came to check on you. You seemed upset," she comes to stand beside me.

"Do you believe in heaven?" I ask her, looking back up into the sky.

"I don't know," she answers honestly. "Do you?"

"I want to," I tell her. "I want to believe that people don't just disappear when they die, but I don't know either."

"Well," Brittany stands behind me and wraps her arms around my body. "I don't think people just disappear when they die. We all stay with the people who loved us. We live on inside of them."

Her words bring new tears to my eyes.

"You have such a beautiful mind," I turn around to face her and lean my head against her chest. She rubs her hands up and down my arms. "Sorry I lost the game for us," I mumble.

Brittany kisses the top of my head. "It's okay," she says gently, "but we _do_ have to do something about your lack of knowledge on Christmas movies."

I let out a light laugh and hold on tight to Brittany, my body starting to shiver from the cold.

"Let's go back inside," she says. "They are about to announce the winner for the ugliest Christmas sweater and I _heard_ that you are a favorite."

"How do you know?" I ask her.

"Because _I _voted for you."

I pull back from her chest to smile at Brittany. She wraps her arm around my shoulders and guides me inside.

* * *

**Thank you guys for all the kind words :)**


	15. Chapter 15

Brittany and I began our drive to my dad's house early this morning. I didn't get much sleep last night because it was so cold, even with Brittany snuggled up behind me the whole night. Her feet were freezing and they kept brushing against my legs, but Brittany refused to put on socks because, apparently, I deserved it after what I did that night.

Right now we are stopped at a gas station and Brittany is sitting in the nice, warm car while I am out here freezing trying to get this pump to work. Finally, it clicks into place. I let out a sigh of relief as I stick my hands inside my coat to warm them up. It started snowing last night, just after they announced the winner of the ugliest Christmas sweater competition, which Brittany rightfully won.

"I love when you do that."

I jump at the sound of Brittany's voice, not even realizing that she got out of the car.

"Jesus Britt," I cover my heart with my hand as she slides her arms around my neck. "What was I doing?" I ask curiously.

"The Santurtle." She kisses my cheek.

"The what?" I laugh.

"The Santurtle," she repeats coming to stand in front of me.

"Care to explain?"

"You put your arms in your coat and tuck your chin in. You look like a turtle."

"Did you come out into the freezing cold to tell me that?"

"Yep," she smiles, leaning against the car. "Who were you on the phone with?" She asks.

"Quinn," I say, turning my body to face her. "She called me and asked when we were heading back."

"Is she having a good break?"

"I guess," I shrug. "She doesn't really get along with her mom."

"Oh," she breathes and starts rubbing her hands together to keep them warm.

"What is this?" I ask, moving closer to Brittany. "Is Brittany Pierce cold?" I tug on her arm and pull her closer to me, taking her hands in mine and tucking them between our bodies. Her whole body is shivering now.

"I blame you," she mumbles into to chilled air, little puffs of air making their presence known. "I'm still recovering from last night," she gives me a look.

I accidentally threw a snowball at Brittany's face last night. It hit her right in the eye, which is still red.

"Hey, I seriously didn't mean to do that. You stepped into my line of fire. I was aiming for Sam."

"I know," she smiles at me. "You throw pretty hard though."

"Come on," I wrap my arms around her still shivering body. "Let's get you in the car."

Brittany smiles a grateful smile at me before making her way to the other side of the car.

"Do you have your IPod with you?" Brittany asks me when we hit the highway again.

"It in the front pocket of my purse," I nod my head toward the back seat.

Brittany twists in her spot, having to unbuckle her seatbelt to reach it. Her ass is sticking up and it's right in my face.

"Are you trying to cause an accident," I laugh when Brittany's ass keeps bumping into my shoulder, causing me to swerve a little in my lane.

"Got it," she calls, coming back to sit properly in her seat. "Let's see what Santana listens to," she starts scrolling through all my music. "You have every single NOW cd," she mentions. "My new goal in life is to listen to every single song. Starting," she pauses for a moment. "Now."

The music starts playing and both of us furrow our brows. I own every cd, but that doesn't mean I know every song and I definitely don't know this one. Plus, it has been more than ten years since these things started coming out. Despite not knowing the song, Brittany doesn't change it. She just sits there bobbing her head to the music and dancing in her chair.

When the next song plays, she squeals and grabs my arm. We both start singing along when it starts.

"_And I don't care who you are. Where you're from. Don't care what you did. As long as you love me_," we sing together, laughing all the while.

Listening to this music gives me a nice trip down memory lane and how I used to have a crush on the youngest Hanson member. Also, watching Brittany try to sing the lyrics to every song, even the ones she doesn't know, is quite entertaining.

/

When I pull into the driveway, there is a weird sense of comfort that takes over my body. I have been talking a lot with my father and I'm beginning to feel the old connection I used to have with him. I just feel like everything is falling back into place.

I stop the car and turn the engine off. Brittany grabs hold of my hand as it drops between the two front seats, my keys dangling from our joined fingers. Brittany lets out a yawn as she bring my hand up to her lips to place a few kisses to the back of my knuckles.

I lean across the consul to give her a proper kiss, savoring this moment simply because I feel the need to. She hums into my mouth as we kiss lazily for a few moments. When I finally pull back, I rest my forehead against hers, looking into her eyes to find all the reassurance I need to prepare myself for the next few days. Not just in dealing with coming out to my father, but dealing with all the other people in my family as well.

Brittany exits the car first and I watch silently as she grabs both of our bags from the back seat. I am mesmerized by everything she does lately. This morning I found myself staring at her while we were getting all our things together to leave and I didn't snap out of it until she was standing in front of me, waving her hand in front of my face.

Brittany makes her way over to the driver's side, where she opens the door, leaning against its frame. I twist in the seat, swinging my legs toward her and I am about to step out when her hand comes up to stop me. I continue to watch her as she steps closer, fitting herself in-between my legs, until she is wrapping her arms around me and pulling me into a hug. I let myself fall into her embrace, feeling every part of her body warm my own, even if our big coats are in the way.

She offers a hand out to me when she pulls back, which I gladly take and we begin walking toward the house. I open the front door as quietly as possible. We left the cabin pretty early, so I'm sure my dad and sister are still asleep.

The house is deafeningly quiet, the only sound coming from the grandfather clock at the end of the hall. I motion to Brittany to be quiet and she gives me a slight nod. I feel like I am breaking into my own house right now because I have an overwhelming feeling that I need to be quiet. I point up the stairs to signal that's where we are headed and Brittany wordlessly follows my lead. The steeps creak as we make our way up to my bedroom. I show Brittany where my room is and push open the door for her to enter.

She takes a few tentative steps into the room, looking around at her surroundings before she finally sets her bag on the ground.

"This is _a lot _different than your other room," she whispers.

"Yeah," I shrug. "I haven't exactly been around to redecorate."

Brittany looks behind me and must see something that catches her eyes because she is brushing past me in the next instant.

"Is this her?" She asks, brushing her fingertips over the picture frame on my dresser.

I turn to inspect what she is looking at. It's a picture of me and my mom from when I was little.

"Yeah," I breathe, coming to stand behind Brittany.

"She looks just like you," she twist her head a tiny bit to peer at me before turning back to the picture. I rest my forehead on the back of Brittany's shoulder, trying to stop the sudden sting in my eyes. I don't even know how long it has been since I last looked at a picture of my mom.

I feel the tears build up behind my eyes before my vision is blurred and I have to blink it away. I wrap my hands around Brittany, pulling myself into her and silently let the tears fall. I don't know if she notices that I'm crying or not, but something tells me she does. Maybe it's the way that she grabs hold of my hands that are resting on her stomach or the way that she starts gently swaying side to side.

Eventually she lets go of my hands and turns around to face me. I duck my head to my chest because I hate it when people see me cry. Brittany reaches out, resting the palm of her hand against my cheek to wipe away a few tears with her thumb.

"I'm sorry," I choke out when a new wave of tears form in my eyes. I wipe them away with the heels of my hand as Brittany pulls me into her.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," she rubs up and down my arms. She guides me back toward my bed where she pulls the covers back and crawls in. I follow her where I am wrapped back up in her warm embrace.

After a few minutes, I feel myself calm down.

"I love you Britt."

/

We lay in bed for what _feels_ like an hour, though I'm not really sure how long it has actually been. Long enough for my arm to go numb and long enough to hear some rustling around about the house. I kinda hope it's my father and that Maya is still in bed. I want to wake her up and surprise her to let her know I'm here.

"Britt," I gently shake her arm that's draped across my stomach. She doesn't answer, just stirs a little behind me. As carefully and quietly as I possibly can, I turn around in the circle of her arms, trying not to move too much to wake her up. I make it all the way around without waking her.

Brittany's mouth is hanging open as she lays sleeping, her hair only a little messy this time. I lean forward and place a kiss to the tip of her nose because I just can't help myself.

Whenever she stays the night with me, or vice versa, she always wakes up before I do, so I never really get moments like this.

Brittany mumbles something incoherent before pulling me into her body and smashing my face against her chest. I almost have to pry myself away from her grip, but eventually I push back enough to look at her face again. She is wearing a smirk which means she's awake and also that she did that on purpose because she knows I hate it. How could I be mad we she looks like that though? Her eyes are barely open and she just looks so innocent. I lean in to give her a kiss.

"I'll be right back, okay?" I tell her, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face. She just gives me a lazy nod before closing her eyes again and falling back asleep.

I slowly get off the bed, my body still stiff from laying there for so long without moving.

When I make it into the hallway, I tip toe down to Maya's room. Just as I am about to turn the door knob, a voice stops me.

"No. Way!" I don't even fully turn around before I am being crushed in a hug. "When did you get here? Does dad know you're here?"

"Whoa," I try to steady myself after almost being knocked over. "I got here earlier, everyone was asleep, so I thought I would wait."

"Oh my god! I'm so excited," Maya grabs my wrist and pulls me into her room and doesn't stop until we are sitting on her bed. "You finally get to meet my boyfriend," she smiles at me.

"What?" I ask.

"I have a boyfriend," she squeals. "And he's coming tomorrow. He also has an older brother," she wiggles her eyebrows at me. "I could totally give him your number."

"Uh- no," I laugh. "I'm good. I actually came with someone..." I say carefully.

"Oh?" she asks, intrigued.

"Um- yeah. Look Maya, there's something I need to tell y-"

"You made it!" My dad cuts me off from the door. I only have time to register the slight questioning look in Maya's eyes before I am, once again, tackled. "So good to see you."

"You too dad."

"So, where's this friend you brought? Is she here?" He looks around the room like she would be hiding out somewhere.

"Yeah. She's still asleep."

"Well, go wake her up then and I'll cook everyone a Christmas Eve breakfast."

"Sure," I smile at my dad before getting up.

When I get back into my room, Brittany is still passed out. I go to the side of the bed Brittany is on and kneel down in front of her. I place a kiss to her forehead before I shake her shoulder to wake her up. She slowly blinks open her eyes, a soft smile playing at her lips as she stretches out her body.

"Mmm," she mumbles. "I'm sorry, I'm just so tired right now."

"Maybe some breakfast will help?" I ask her, my fingers smoothing out her hair.

"Maybe," she starts sitting up, bringing her hand to her head. "Oh man," she rubs at her skull. "Headache."

I take her free hand in mine, toying with her fingers.

"I'll get you some medicine," I tell her. "Why don't you head on down and I'll bring you some."

"Okay," she continues to rub her head.

Brittany exist the room, leaving me kneeling on the ground in front of my bed still. I turn to sit down, my back resting against the mattress. I put my head in my hands, running my fingers though my hair before I finally get up and make my way to the bathroom to get Brittany some medicine.

/

Brittany is stretched out across the couch when I get downstairs. She has her eyes closed, but I can tell she isn't sleeping. She must hear me enter the room though because her eyes open and she sits up.

I hand her two pills while I take a seat next to her. She takes the pills from me and the glass of water I brought and washes them down.

"I'm not feeling too good," she mumbles.

"Do you want to go back to bed?" I rub my hand up and down her thigh.

"After pancakes," she leans her head against the back of the couch. "Smells so good." I laugh at her adorableness and pull her so her head is resting on my shoulder. "Your dad is really nice," she tells me after about a minute.

"You met him?"

"Yeah, he came in here to say hi." Brittany's body shivers against mine. "I saw your sister too. She gave me a weird look."

"I'll tell you about that later," I sigh, not wanting to bring it up before I have even had my first cup of coffee.

"I'm so cold," Brittany shivers again. "How come you're not cold? It's freezing in here."

"Because I have this on," I smile at her as she looks down at my sweatshirt that used to belong to her.

Brittany grabs a fistful of the sweatshirt and pulls me closer to her.

"It looks so sexy on you," she nudges her nose against mine.

"Alright ladies," my dad's voice sounds from the kitchen, causing me to push away from Brittany. "Time to eat." I give Brittany an apologetic look before we both get up and head into the kitchen.

/

"Pierce, huh?" my dad asks for the third time since we sat down. "Where have I heard that name before?" he stares off into the distance, like he is trying to remember an old friend.

"I dunno," Brittany shrugs.

"I'll remember it sooner or later," he comments, waving his hand in the air to dismiss the conversation for now. "So, how do you two know each other? Quinn is the only friend I ever hear Santana talk about."

"Well, I am Rachel's roommate," Brittany tells him.

"Rachel," he repeats. "That's the loud one right?" he turns to me.

"Yeah dad. That's the loud one," I laugh.

Maya comes into the kitchen just as my father finishes his stack of pancakes and gets up saying he has to catch up on the morning news. There is an awkward silence as Maya rummages around, getting herself a plate and sitting down at the table, without so much as throwing a glance toward me.

I look over to Brittany and see that she is shifting uncomfortably in her chair.

"So, Maya," I decide to break the silence. "What's your boyfriend's name?"

I see her whole demeanor change at the mention of his name. Her face isn't so hard anymore and her eyes become brighter.

"Chris," she says casually, clearly trying to play off her excitement.

"How long have you two been dating?" I take a bite of pancake.

"About six months," she tells me.

My eyes widen at the news.

_Six months?_

"Wow," I breathe. "So, when's the wedding?" I joke.

Maya snaps her eyes up to me. "Shut up," she says, her cheeks turning pink.

"I was just kidding." I laugh. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She just looks at me for a moment, her eyebrows furrowed together.

"I could ask you the same thing," she finally says back. "I mean, how long have you two been seeing each other?"

"What?" Brittany asks, when I don't say anything. "We're not-"

"A few months," I cut her off with a shrug.

There is a long silence that stretches between the three of us, with Brittany and I sitting frozen in our seats while Maya's gaze flashes back and forth between us.

"Cool," Maya finally speaks, causing me to let out a breath of relief. Brittany seems to do the same as her hand that was holding her fork regains its color.

"Cool?" I ask carefully.

"You know my best friend, Kirsten?" I nod my head. "Well, she plays for your team."

"Is she on the Cheerios?" Brittany leans close to ask me.

"No, Britt._ Our_ team, well half of yours." I correct myself.

"Oh," she breathes.

"Anyway, she totally had a crush on me for a while there. It was awkward for a few months between us, but she has a girlfriend now, so," she finishes with a shrug.

I laugh because this is just _so _Maya. My mother was really carefree and easy going. You can definitely tell who she takes after. I am more like my dad personality wise. We are both reserved, although he seems to be a lot more open about things now. I guess that's what happens after years of therapy.

/

"San," Brittany groans. "I feel awful," she rolls around on the bed, holding her head.

"You're not going to throw up again are you?" I ask, scratching the small of her back.

"I didn't throw up," she tells me. "I just thought I was going to."

"Come here," I open up my arms for Brittany. She slowly crawls toward me, groaning each time one of her limbs move. When she finally gets up to me, she lets out a sigh of relief, curling her body around mine.

"I'm probably just going to fall asleep again," she tells me. "You should go be with your family."

"I'll stay with you until you fall asleep," I rub up and down her arms. "Besides, they are probably just watching TV."

"Okay," she breathes. Then after a moment she speaks again. "Did you ever have a crush on Quinn?" Brittany asks me.

My eyes widen and I choke a little on my next breath.

"What?"

"Well, she is your best friend, right?"

"And?" I draw out waiting for the explanation.

"And isn't that like a lesbian rite of passage?"

"No."

"No?"

"No," I repeat.

"But you have seen Quinn right? You're telling me you never thought about it?"

"Have you?"

"Yes," she tell me.

I scoff and push her away from me, causing her to wince in pain.

"I was kidding," she presses the heel of her hand to her forehead as she rolls down.

"Come back up here," I sigh. "You need to go to sleep," I comb through her hair. "Before you start talking crazier."

Brittany laughs a little before she stops and groans in pain again.

I lay with Brittany long after she falls asleep, until I finally have to get up because I need to use the bathroom. Instead of heading back into my room, I decided to go sit with my dad and sister in the living room. Just like I thought, they are watching TV, well, my dad is watching TV. My sister is playing on her phone.

"How's she doing?" My dad asks, turning his attention away from the TV.

"She's asleep," I tell him, going to sit on the other end of the couch. "What are we watching?"

"How the Grinch Stole Christmas," he answers, watching intently as it comes back from commercial.

This is actually one of the few Christmas movies I have seen, and enjoy. It might be because I can relate so well with the Grinch. Apparently, this is something they do every Christmas now. They just in front of the TV all day and watch whatever Christmas movie is playing.

After this one ends, a new one comes on. I think its Rudolph or something. I lose interest within the first few minutes, becoming like my sister and finding my phone more entertaining.

Brittany comes downstairs somewhere during this one though, parking herself on the floor in front of me. I look over to my dad and see that he has fallen asleep in his chair and Maya isn't even in the room anymore.

"I love this movie," Brittany whispers.

/

"Can we watch a movie?" Brittany asks me.

"You want to watch _another_ movie?" I roll my head to look at Brittany.

"With ice cream?"

"Hmm," I lay my body against her side, running my finger up and down her arm. "What kind of ice cream?"

Brittany thinks for a moment before answering. "I'll take whatever you got."

"Okay, I'll be right back," I lean in to give her a kiss, but her hand comes up to stop me. "What?"

"I'm sick," she says simply.

"So? I've been kissing you all day."

"I just remembered that you probably shouldn't," she worries her lip between her teeth. "I don't want you to get sick too."

"I think it's a little late to worry about that," I try and kiss her again but she does the same thing. "Oh come on," I pout. "It's Christmas Eve."

"No," she sucks her lips into her mouth, shaking her head from side to side.

"Fine," I grumble and make my way toward the door.

"I love you," Brittany calls.

"Yeah, yeah," I mumble.

Upon returning to my room, I see that Brittany has already set up camp on the floor to watch our movie. I smile on the inside, not wanting to actually smile because Brittany didn't give me a kiss.

"Here," I hand the bowl of ice cream to her without looking at her and sit down on the floor, fluffing out the pillows behind me.

"You want some?" Brittany asks me. I give her a short no as a response, folding my arms across my chest. "Here comes the plane," Brittany waves the spoon in front of my face and the next thing I know there is ice cream on the tip of my nose. "Oh," she sighs. "Oh no. San, what happened?" I try as hard as possible to keep my face hard and my lips from twitching up. "You have ice cream all over you. Don't worry though, I got it," she leans in and licks it off with the tip of her tongue.

Before she moves away, I capture her lips in mine, tasting the sweet flavor of strawberry.

"You tell me I can't kiss you, and then you lick me?" I mumble into her lips.

"I was just joking about the kiss," she pulls back. "I'm feeling better now, I think I just needed sleep." Brittany slides her hand under the hem of my shirt, smoothing it across my skin. I close my eyes at the sensation.

"So you weren't really sick?"

"Well, not _sick_ sick. When I get headaches, which isn't very often, they hurt so bad I can't do anything, so I usually just sleep through it,"

"Did you already pick out a movie?"

"Maybe," she drawls out.

"Is it Marley and me again?"

She just shrugs her shoulders in response.

"Why do you keep doing this to yourself?" I laugh. "Remember last time?"

This is going to be the fourth time we watch this movie together and each time it ends the same way.

"Yeah I do, someone," she glances at me. "Was crying like a baby."

"Yeah, you."

"I'll admit to crying about it. It doesn't bother me, but you," she pokes me in my chest. "Miss, 'I'm from Lima Heights. A story about a dog isn't going to make me cry,' need to admit it."

"Why do I need to admit it?"

"I just want to hear you say it. You loved that dog," she coos, pinching my cheeks.

"No."

"Please," she begs, puffing out her lower lip.

"You can't make me."

"Oh?" she asks, one of her eyebrows quirking up.

"Britt," I warn. "Don't."

"Don't what?" She asks innocently, swinging her legs over my lap to straddle me.

"Everyone is sleeping," I tell her.

"Then you'll have to make sure you don't scream," she leans down to nip at my bottom lip. My body arches up into her touch without me even realizing it. "Mmm," she hums, biting her lower lip. "Someone's eager."

We have been with her family for a week and a half. That means we haven't been alone and that means we haven't had sex. So, yeah, I'm eager, but she can't know that because if she does, that means she wins.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath as she runs her hands across my stomach, biting the inside of my cheek hoping that pain will mask the feeling I am getting from her touching me. It doesn't of course, and I find my breathing getting a little faster as her hands decide to venture under my shirt.

"Brittany," I squirm underneath her, trying to get her to stop by making my voice sound threatening, but it comes out sounding more like a moan, causing her to dig her finger tips harder into my skin. She begins kissing my neck. She knows that's a weakness of mine. It just feels so damn good.

I arch my neck back, giving her more room to work as Brittany's hands move further up my shirt, toying with the fabric of my bra. She ghosts over the smooth flesh of my breasts, flattening out her palms and running them across my chest.

My hands leave my sides, venturing up to meet Brittany's hips, but she quickly swats them away.

She leans back to give me a look, telling me I'm not allowed to touch her in a voice so low it causes goosebumps to rise across my whole body. Brittany lowers herself back onto my body, grinding her ass down into me. I don't even try to stop the moan that escapes my lips this time. I just let it happen.

Brittany smirks at me when she hears it before leaning in closer to my ear.

"You know," she husks. "This could feel a whole lot better," she grinds down on me again. "If you just give up," Brittany trails her fingers up the side of my leg, lightly skating across my center, causing my body to shiver beneath her. "And you could touch me," she wiggles her eyebrows. "While I touch you," she presses down firmer. My eyes roll to the back of my head. My mouth is dry from breathing heavily.

"Okay," I pant out, not even caring that I lasted all of three minutes before giving up. But Brittany is sitting in my lap, grinding down into me and the only thing stopping her from touching me is me admitting to crying during a movie. I am willing to throw my pride out for this one.

My hands shoot up to her sides, needing something to ground me right now.

"Uh-uh," she shakes her head, pushing my arms behind me and pinning them above my head. "You need to say the words."

"Ugh," I groan. "Fine. I cried like a fucking baby," I say as I push myself into Brittany and flip us over so I am onto of her. I start kissing down her neck as soon as I get the chance as she kicks her legs out. Her foot, or something, must hit my dresser because the next thing I know there is a loud crash.

Brittany tries to look past me to see what it is, but I grab hold of her face to keep kissing her. She eventually gives up on trying to look and focuses back on the task at hand.

There is a knock on the door, I push off Brittany so fast I am pretty sure I actually flew across the room. The door opens and I just pray to whoever is listening that my shirt is all the way down.

"I heard a loud-" my dad's voice stops short as he looks around the room and I just now notice what fell everywhere. It was all my furbies that were stacked on my dresser. "What happened in here," he laughs.

"Um-" I clear my throat. I am sure the look on my face right now is one of terror and shame.

"I ran into it Mr. Lopez," Brittany says, shifting her eyes over to me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Just wanted to make sure everything was alright," he waves to us. "Night ladies."

"Night," Brittany and I say at the same time.

When my dad shuts the door, I cover my face with my hands and fall forward into a pillow.

"Oh my god," I groan. This is the second time in less than three weeks we have almost been caught in the act. I'm just glad that I can apparently fly. There is a good five feet distance between Brittany and I right now.

It's actually quite impressive.

"I'm sorry," Brittany says softly.

"You should be," I raise my head to look at her. "Now I'm all hot and bothered, but I'm also not hot and bothered because almost having your dad walk in on you and your super-hot girlfriend having sex is a _major_ turn off."

"Super hot?" Brittany tilts her head to the side as she crawls toward me.

"How do you _always_ look so innocent?" I pull her down with me, so she is laying by my side. "I'm pretty sure I have guilty written all over my forehead."

"It's in my genes," she shrugs, "and you did look pretty guilty."

"Whatever," I push myself up and start straightening everything out. I aggressively fling the pillows back toward the end of the bed, the whole time Brittany is giggling at me. I send a scowl in her direction. "What?" I huff out.

"You're so cute," she rolls onto her back.

"I'm not cute," I scrunch my face up in anger. She just continues to laugh. "Hey," I throw a pillow at her. "I am trying to be mad here and you are killing my vibe."

"I'm sorry," she let out a few more bubbles of laughter. "You're right," Brittany clears her throat and sits up with me. She starts to pick up all the furbies on the ground and places them back on the shelves. Each time she does she lets out a grunt.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm being angry with you," she says simply. "Misery loves company."

"Misery wants you to get over here so we can watch this movie," I pat the space next to me. Brittany crawls over on all fours and lays her head down in my lap. "Does your head still hurt?" I ask, combing through her hair.

"No, but that feels really good."

/

Brittany has her arms wrapped around my waist. I can feel her breath hitting the back of my neck as I lay there awake wanting to move, but also wanting to stay wrapped up in her arms. My bag is sitting just a few feet from the spot we fell asleep on the floor, but it's just far enough to where I can't reach it without moving Brittany and possibly waking her up. I have learned though that Brittany, for the most part, is a pretty heavy sleeper and she almost never wakes up when I get up during the night to use the bathroom.

I just want to surprise her with her gift when she opens her eyes. I carefully peel away Brittany's arm that is resting on top of me and inch forward. I can see the gift sitting in the front pocket of my bag where it is sticking out. Brittany stirs behind me causing me to freeze in hopes that she will settle back down and stay asleep. After a few moments of no further movement, I let out a sigh of relief and finally grab the box.

I turn over, now free from both of Brittany's arms because she moved her other one, and set the box on the ground above my pillow. I softly kiss Brittany's lips hoping that is enough to wake her up. It's not though, so I do it again, pressing my mouth to hers a little harder. She starts to stir, bringing one of her arms to wrap around her neck to pull me in deeper to the kiss. I smirk to myself as I feel her awaken, her mouth finally moving with mine until I almost forget the reason I woke her up in the first place.

I reach up and grab the box, bringing it down between our bodies when I finally pull away from kissing Brittany. She looks from the box to me repeatedly, like she can't quite put the two things together.

"Merry Christmas," I whisper softly, a smile beams across her face as she remembers what day it is.

I motion for her to take the box with my eyes. She does and I have to roll onto my back so I can't see her reaction to it. I have always been a horrible gift giver and I have never given or received a gift from someone I was in love with. The whole time I was shopping for her gift, I kept getting frustrated because I had absolutely no idea what to get her.

A million different ideas played through my mind, but nothing seemed right. I almost bought her a camera, but she already has one that is a million times better than the one I had picked out.

I can hear Brittany tearing open the wrapping paper next to me and I find the need to turn to look at her overwhelming, so that's what I do. Who cares if I am embarrassed by my lame attempt at a Christmas gift? I just want to look at my girlfriend.

"San," she breathes as I watch her eyes tear up.

"Do you not like it?" I mutter. "I know it's kind of cheesy, but I just thought-"

I am cut off by a pair of warm lips against my own.

"I love it," she says against my lips.

"Really?" I ask carefully.

"Really."

"Quinn must have snapped that picture while we weren't paying attention."

"Well, I'm glad she did. Look at us. We look perfect." Quinn took a picture of Brittany and I sleeping on the chair in our living room. "Did you write this?" she asks, her fingers running along the inscribed words.

"Mhmm," I answer bashfully.

"It's beautiful," she smiles, leaning forward to capture my lips in hers again. "Okay," Brittany rolls over, trying to find her bag and when she does she pulls out three individually wrapped gifts. "I couldn't decide on one thing to get you, so I got you three," I sit up, wrapping the blanket around my body and take the three gifts Brittany is offering me. "Do this one last," she points to the smallest box.

"Okay," I say as I open the first one, finding a coffee mug inside. "My girlfriend bought me this mug," I read the side, sending a smirk to Brittany as she nervously fidgets in her spot.

"Because you love coffee," she tells me through a shrug. "And now you can drink it every morning and think of me." I just smile at her sitting there with her hair all over the place. I must smile too long because she laughs and tells me to open the next one.

"Vanilla scented massage oil," I say excitedly. "Wait, is this for me to use on you or…?" I trail off.

"Does it matter?" she winks.

"Good point."

"Now this one," she clasps her hands together. "This is like, the real gift," she rolls her eyes at herself. "Quinn helped me with this one," she says, suddenly looking a lot more nervous than excited.

It causes me to become somewhat nervous as well as I peer at her hands wringing together. When I get the wrapping paper I am met with a beautiful little box. I look back up to Brittany and she nods her head, telling me to open the box. I lift the lid and my breath catches in my throat. Brittany got me a heart-shaped necklace and its silver, not gold (I'm not really a fan of gold jewelry).

"It's a locket," she says quietly.

I open up the locket, expecting to find a picture of Brittany and me, but instead I find something that makes my heart stop. It's the picture on my desk of me and my mom.

"Britt," I choke on her name, feeling my eyes well up with tears. "Its-" I start, but stop finding myself speechless. "Thank you," I breathe out. I pull her into a hug, wrapping both of my arms around her neck and hold on tight. "I love you so much," I murmur into her neck.

"I love you too," she squeezes my body, her fingers digging into my shoulder blades. I stay like that for long moments, my eyes starting to burn from the lack of sleep. "We could totally go back to sleep," Brittany nudges my nose with hers. "It's only four."

"Yeah," I say through a yawn. "That's a great idea."

We lay back down, Brittany bringing the cover to wrap around our bodies. I tangle my legs with hers as she plays with a strand of my hair, twisting it around her finger. She drops the strand of hair and instead begins massaging the back of my scalp with her fingers, lightly scratching and causing my eyes to close.

"Mmm," I hum as I try to re-open my eyes to look at her, but they won't open. Instead I lean further into her, taking a deep breath and drift off into sleep.

/

"Okay," Brittany taps my arm. "Who is that?"

"Vin, my cousin."

"I need to stay away from him. He totally hit on me when I came out of the bathroom." I narrow my eyes in the direction of Vin, feeling a sudden urge to get up and smack him. I even feel my arms tense up. He is always causing some kind of trouble. Brittany must feel it because she grabs my hand, rubbing across the backs of my knuckles. "Relax babe. He's got nothing on you," she sends me a wink.

I relax a little, my fists un-balling, but I'm still a little rigid. Everyone is starting to show up and it's making me a nervous wreck. Most of these people I haven't seen in years, for example my abuela and abuelo who just walked in the door.

I want to get up to say hello, but something inside of me keeps me rooted to my spot on the couch. I don't even think that my abuela expects me to be here anyway seeing as I have missed Christmas the past few years.

"Seriously, relax," she whispers. I can feel Brittany's eyes on the side of my face, but I keep my head aimed toward the crowd of strange, yet familiar, faces that are filling up the house.

"I am relaxed," I tell her, though my feet bouncing up and down would say otherwise.

"You don't look relaxed," she mutters.

"I am," I snap, causing a few eyes to wonder our way. Brittany shrinks back into her seat, dropping my hand between us and pulling hers into her lap. "Shit," I breathe out. "I'm sorry Britt. I'm just-," I lean forward, dropping my head into my hands.

"It's okay," she whispers to me, but I can tell by the tone of her voice that I hurt her feelings. She gets up off the couch and walks into the kitchen, leaving me on the couch alone.

I have been thinking about how to tell my dad that Brittany and I are together, but everything seems cheesy and weird and a part of me thinks that when I tell him, he will automatically know what we were up to last night. I take a deep breath and lean back against the couch.

Maya takes Brittany's spot a few moments later, dragging her boyfriend behind her. He takes a seat on the other side of Maya. I saw him when he came in, but my sister has yet to properly introduce us. I feel like it's coming though.

"Santana," she starts. "This is my boyfriend, Chris," she motions to him with her hand.

"Nice to meet you," he extends a hand for me to shake. I just look at it for a moment before shaking my head at him. He pulls it back to himself, looking a little embarrassed.

I take a better look at the guy. He's got a pretty good build on him.

"Let me guess," I turn to face him. "Captain of the football team?"

He shakes his head. "No, captain of the chess club."

"Really?" I ask incredulously, my eyes growing wider. "Is that how you two met?" Maya nods her head at me. "Wait, so _you _play chess?"

"I'm good at it," she shrugs.

"Santana," my dad calls from the kitchen. "Can I get your help in here?" I get up off the couch, leaving the two love birds by themselves. When I walk in the kitchen, I see my dad standing there with a confused look on his face as he stares down at the turkey. "Does this look right to you?" he points to the turkey, the oven mitts still on his hands.

I lean over to take a look. "It looks good to me," I shrug.

"Okay good," he removes the gloves and picks up the carving knife that was laying on the counter. "Will you try a piece then and tell me if it tastes good? I would do it, but I have eaten so much food already, I don't think my tastes buds will be able to tell if something is wrong."

"Sure," I laugh as he cuts into the turkey, slicing a little piece off the side and handing it to me. "Oh my god," I sigh. "That," I point to the turkey. "Is amazing. Where did you learn to cook?" I joke with him.

A big smile beams across his face. "I've been watching the cooking channel," he smiles proudly. "I don't think your sister appreciates it though because she has to test out all my experiments."

"Hey, if they are as good as this, I volunteer."

"Have you met her boyfriend yet?" he asks, popping a piece of turkey into his mouth. I nod my head to tell him I have. "What about you?" he looks at me curiously.

"What about me, what?" I ask, picking up another piece and putting it in my mouth.

"You seeing anyone?"

I almost choke on the turkey as I hear the words leave his mouth.

"Uh-" I cough, trying to find a way out of this. It would seem that now would be a good time to bring up the fact that Brittany and I are dating, but everyone is here and I kind of wanted it to be a little more personal than this. I don't want to be like, 'Hey dad, I'm gay' and then go leave the room to go talk to my Aunt Anita. "I-" I start again, but nothing seems to want to come out right now.

It is literally right there. My heart is beating harder and harder, my hands becoming clammy and my throat dry. I could just say it if I wanted to and I do want to.

"Mija?" my dad pulls me out of my thoughts. It is in that moment that I realize just how terrified I am for him to know this part of me. He could never want to speak to me again. He could never accept me and Brittany's relationship as _real_.

And that scares the hell out of me.

I start breathing heavy as I try to come up with something _anything _because I'm pretty sure not speaking right now isn't helping anything. It certainly isn't helping me.

"Is something wrong," my eyes snap to his. He is wearing a troubled expression and the look he is giving me right now just feels so heavy.

"I'm fine," I answer quickly. "I'm gonna go wash up before dinner."

"Okay," he shrugs his shoulder.

As I am walking up the steps to get to the bathroom, Brittany is walking down.

"Hey," I call out to her. She gives me a short nod and continues to walk past me. I grab her arm to stop her. "I need to talk to you," I motion up the stairs.

We walk up the stairs wordlessly. When we get into my bedroom, I awkwardly shift back and forth on my feet, not really knowing what to say, just that I have to say something.

"Santana?" Brittany finally speaks after long moments.

I chance a look into her eyes, feeling mine sting with frustration. "I've never felt so scared and vulnerable before in my life." I start. "It makes me so_ angry_ that I can't control how people will react to this." My words get caught up in my throat. "And I feel so stupid for even caring." I start pacing around the room, my breathing heavy as I try to calm myself down, but I'm just so overwhelmed right now. "What if I can't-" I stop, not wanting to finish what I was going to say.

"What if you can't what?" Brittany asks in a small voice.

"Do this," I motion between the two of us.

Hurt flashes across Brittany's face and I want to take the words back as soon as I say them because I would do anything for her. I really would. Instead I just let the silence linger between us. Brittany's chin quivers slightly as she takes a tentative step toward me.

"Santana," her voice wavers a bit. "If you don't want to tell you dad yet, I understand."

"Stop it!" I yell. "Stop doing that!"

"What am I doing?"

"You keep saying you don't care, but why wouldn't you!" My chest heaves up and down.

"Because I love you." She says simply, stepping closer. My shoulders drop in defeat as I let her grab my hands. "I would hide away in a cave with you, if that's what you wanted. God Santana," she breathes as she presses her forehead against mine.

"Everything has changed so fast," I say. "You turned my whole world upside down. In a good way," I add when I realize that might have sounded negative. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I don't do well in stressful situations," I let out a nervous laugh.

"Could have fooled me," Brittany rubs up and down my arms before pulling me into her.

She holds me close to her until I wonder why I was so worked up to begin with. Brittany has always been good at erasing the negative thoughts from my mind, however temporary that might be, it still helps.

/

When everyone sits down the chatter begins.

My abuela is sitting on one side of me while Brittany is on the other side.

"It's been so long," she leans in and whispers to me.

"I know," I mumble, not really knowing what else to say.

"It's so good to see you," she pats my leg underneath the table. "What have you been up to?" She asks.

"Just school," I tell her.

"Not letting any boys distract you, are you?"

"No," I chuckle.

"Good, they're no good anyway," she makes a discussed face and I smile to myself because, well…

"Hey now," my abuelo cuts in.

"Except for you honey," they lean in and give each other a peck on the lips to which my little cousin, I think her name is Sarah, makes a gagging noise.

I take this opportunity to look at Brittany, she is grinning down at her plate.

"What about you Brittany?" My cousin Vin joins the conversation. I snap my eyes over to him, narrowing my gaze. "You single?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

"No," Brittany's foot brushes against mine underneath the table.

"Damn. Must be a special guy," he shakes his head.

Something drops in the pit of my stomach when those words leave his mouth. Why does it have to be a guy? Why must they assume?

I clench my jaw to keep myself under control.

"Actually," Brittany starts, and I can tell by the tone of her voice that she was bothered by his statement as well.

"Vin, shut up," Maya cuts in.

"Hey," he puts his hands up in defense. "I'm just trying to get to know this beautiful lady," he looks at Brittany.

"Well, stop," I yell, slamming my fists down on the table. Suddenly all eyes on me, but I don't even care because he is hitting on _my girlfriend _right in front of me.

"Santana?" My dad questions and everything I want to say to him is sitting right on the tip of my tongue. Maybe if everyone wasn't staring at me I could do it, but as I look down the table and into my father's eyes I see confusion and hurt. He _has_ to know now. I can just tell by the look in his eyes. I look to my abuela and see that she is covering her heart with her hand.

I look back over to my father, whose eyes are now glossed over. I sit there, my face frozen in shock as my hands start to shake underneath the table. My dad quickly adverts his gaze when a single tear slides down his cheek.

"I'm uh-" he clears his throat. "Gonna go get some more potatoes," he stands up from his chair, letting out a grunt to cover up a sniffle.

It's quiet at the table for a few moments, before Maya, thankfully, gets the conversation going again. Talking about how excited she is for the spring soccer season. That's really all I hear though, before it just becomes a sea of buzzing as I stare down at my plate of food, shuffling some of it around with the end of my fork.

My dad still hasn't come back into the room. I don't know whether to be relieved or scared at that fact. I guess it's a little bit of both right now because I don't want to have to face it just yet, but him not coming back might mean he doesn't want to see _me. _

Brittany sits equally as still beside me as the silence consumes the both of us. I still feel pretty awful about what I said to her earlier and even though she said everything was fine and even laughed about it, I know it hurt her to think I would just give up like that. It didn't help that when she reached for my hand a few minutes ago, I flinched away.

Eventually everyone gets up to go eat dessert. Brittany gently rubs small circles at the base of my back. I let her for a few moments, leaning into her side before I decide that I should probably go find my dad and talk to him.

"I'm going to go find my dad," I tell Brittany, but I don't move yet because my legs seem to not want to work. Eventually I force them to, thinking the sooner I go find him, the better.

"Do you want me to come with you?" she asks softly.

"No," I sigh. "No, I think I need to do this alone." I give her a tight-lipped smile as she nods her head in understanding.

As soon as my feet touch the first step, I feel the tears behind my eyes. I make my way into my bedroom, wanting to have a moment alone before I go find him. When I open my door, I am surprised to find my dad sitting on the bed. I freeze in the doorway, not knowing what I should do next.

"Come sit down," he pats the spot next to him on my mattress. "Mija," he breathes.

"I was gonna tell you," I cut him off. "I just didn't know how."

"I feel like I don't even know you anymore," his voice is thick and uneven, my chest grows heavy with uncertainty. "You're not the same little girl I used to know."

"I'm sorry-" I choke out.

"You're such a beautiful young woman." I scrunch my eyebrows together in confusion. "You kids sure do grow up fast," he swallows thickly as he wipes a tear away from his eye.

"Do you love her?" He turns his head slightly to look at me. I suck my lips into my mouth and give him a nod. My dad hangs his head, giving me a tiny nod. "I guess I should be happy for you then," he smiles softly before pulling me into a hug. "If your mother was alive, she would be saying I told you so," he softly laughs. I feel the locket Brittany gave me press against my heart as my dad holds me close. I sob silently into his shoulder, feeling like a child. "I love you and we've been through a lot over all the years. I want you to be able to talk to me about anything."

I squeeze my eyes shut. "I love you too."

"Uh-," he pulls back, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands. "At least you won't be coming home pregnant anytime soon," he jokes, causing a bubble of laughter to escape me the awkward tension seeping out of the room.

"Is abuela mad at me?" I ask in a small voice.

"What? Why would she be mad," he pulls me into his side.

"I don't know," she looked pretty shocked.

"I think it was because you yelled so loud you almost gave the woman a heart attack." I let out a nervous laugh, not quite believing him. "Santana," he says slowly. "You _do_ know that your uncle Ernesto is gay right?"

"What?"

"Yeah," he laughs. "Who'd you think that guy was that he always has around?"

"His friend?"

He laughs some more and pulls me up with him.

"I didn't mean to react like that downstairs," he says. "I guess I was just so overwhelmed." He pulls me into another hug. "You will always be my little girl," he rubs up and down my back and that's exactly what I feel like right now, a little girl. Fathers just have that kind of power.

There is a soft knock on the door before it is pushed open slightly.

"Santana? Oh-," Brittany pokes her head into the door. "I'm sorry," she says quickly, backing back out of the room.

"It's okay Brittany," my dad speaks. "Come in." He opens his arms and welcomes Brittany to join the hug. She does, eyeing me slightly just before my dad smushes us all together. "I'll see you two down stairs," he says as he walks toward the door.

As soon as he steps out the door I let out a loud sigh, running my hands through my hair.

I extend my hand out for Brittany to take. She smiles down at it, taking it in her own and we walk back to the party.

/

Vin is the first one to approach me when I get back downstairs.

"I'm sorry cuz," he extends his hand out for me to shake. I reluctantly take it, rolling my eyes at him because he is _such an ass_. "Props on bagging a fine lady though," he tells me.

"Ugh," I scoff, see what I mean?

"That was a complement," he shouts as I walk away.

"Did everything go okay?" She asks carefully as we settle into a spot in the corner of the living room. I give her a nod. "Well that's good because after you left, your grandma came up to me and gave me a really long speech about the birds and the bees," Brittany's eyes widen as if she is remembering the moment. "Does she know I can't get you pregnant?" She asks seriously.

I look over toward my abuela, who gives me a nod and a smile, but then narrows her eyes at Brittany.

"I don't know," I laugh. "But you can definitely try," I say suggestively.

"Oh I will, but not until we get back home," she shivers. "Don't want a repeat of last night."

"Oh _god_ no," I agree.

"Sanny?" A little voice sounds from below me. I look down to see a tiny human.

"What's this?" I ask.

"Will you help me?" She looks up at me with her big brown eyes.

"Of course," I bend down so we are at the same level, Brittany does he same, coming to kneel beside me. I help her peel back the sides of the wrapping paper and watch as her face lights up with excitement.

"Daddy look," she runs of toward my uncle and his 'friend', but then a few moments later she is back asking if Brittany and I will help her set up her castle.

We sit there for the rest of the night, playing with Sarah and helping her rescue the prince from the tower because she wanted to be the hero, until everyone is leaving.

"Okay," my abuela opens her arms for a hug. I reluctantly step into it already being smacked in the face with her strong perfume. "Now, you remember what I told you," she hold me at shoulders length. "If you two ever want a place away from everyone, to woo Brittany-"

"Okay," my dad cuts in to shuffle my abuela out the door. "Who gave her all that wine?"

"I only had four glasses," she stumbles down the porch as my abuelo guides her down.

"Goodnight everyone," he waves to us. "Nice to meet you, Brittany."

Brittany smiles politely toward him. My dad shuts the front door, slowly turning around to Brittany and I who are standing in the foyer.

"What a night," he sighs. "I'll see you two in the morning," he begins to walk up the steps.

Brittany and I walk into the living room only to find Maya and her boyfriend sitting on the couch sucking face. I make a gagging noise and they both split apart. I throw myself on the couch, right in the middle of them.

"Santana," Maya yells at me, "go entertain your girlfriend or something."

"Oh, I will," I look toward Brittany and then back to Chris whose face is bright red.

"Ew," Maya comments as she pushes me off the couch.

I roll across the floor and over to Brittany where she pulls me up and we make our way to my bedroom.

/

I am sitting on the floor, my legs crossed as I sip on my glass of wine from the bottle I stole from downstairs. Brittany is across the room fiddling with my iPod, trying to find a song to listen to.

"Mmm," she finally settles on one, bouncing excitedly where she stands. "This one's for you," she points to me.

I put on my iPod because Brittany said she wanted to listen to music, so now we are dancing around in my bedroom, well, _she_ is. Quietly though, because my dad went to bed. Brittany summons me forward with her finger, extending out her hand for me to take.

Brittany has already had two glasses of wine and is working on her third. She stumbles as she pulls me up to meet her. When I get close enough to her body, she lets my hands falls to my sides and starts running hers around my back.

"Brittany!" I gasp when she starts spinning around in circles.

"It's okay," she coos. "I'm not going to drop you," but just as she says this, she goes to dip me and does just that. She drops me.

I land on the pile of pillows and blankets we put on the ground and Brittany is immediately kneeling on the ground before me, checking to see if I'm okay.

"Oh my god," she laughs. "San, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," I rub my butt.

She pushes her body on top of mine, grabbing hold of my hands and pinning them above my head. She leans down, her mouth almost touching my own.

"Merry Christmas," she smiles down at me.

"You already said that to me today," I tell her.

"Yeah, but it was such a good day, I wanted to tell you again," she presses her body further into mine.

"Well, aside from our little fight," I roll my head to the side, looking at the ground and feeling ashamed again.

"Baby it's okay," she nudges my cheek with her nose.

"No it's not," my voice gives out. Brittany releases one of my hands, brushing her fingertips along the underside of my jaw, until she is tilting my head back towards hers. She kisses my softly, her lips pressing so lightly against my own that I feel like I am imagining it. When Brittany pulls away, I blink open my eyes. My hands snake around to the small of her back where they rest. "I don't even know why I said that."

"You were scared," she shrugs.

"Yeah, but still."

"Hey, we all have our moments," she boops my nose. "And I would never let you get away that easily."

"That would have been an awkward car ride huh?" I finally joke.

"Mhmm, very," she hums. "And we would have Rachel sitting in the back asking why we aren't talking and I would have to look at your beautiful face and not be able to lean across and just kiss you."

"Can't have that," I add through a smile. We both giggle for a few moments, until it slowly fades away and we are just staring into each other's eyes with the music softly playing in the background. "I love you so much," I breathe.

"I love you too."

* * *

**Wow, I'm sorry this took so long... almost a month. Hopefully that won't happen again. I won't be working so much when classes start up, so I'll have more time to write. **

**Thanks for reading, you guys are awesome :)**


	16. Chapter 16

"Okay, Brittany. Prepare for the meal of a lifetime," I rub my hands together as the waitress brings out a fresh stack of breadsticks. But not just any breadsticks.

The one.

The only.

_Breadstixx_ breadsticks.

"I'm ready," she grabs her napkin and folds it across her lap.

We only have a couple of more days here in Lima and I wanted to make sure that I brought Brittany here. I think coming to Breadstixx should be on everyone's bucket list.

I watch as Brittany takes a breadstick into her hand and slowly brings it up to her lips. I find myself licking my own in sheer anticipation. She bites a little off the end, chewing it slowly, to savor the flavor is my guess, before she swallows. I lean forward in my waiting to hear what she thinks. Her eyes dart up to mine, looking as though she is trying to find he words to say.

"_Holy shit_," she breathes. "This is the most heavenly thing I have ever tasted. Well, besides you," she finishes with a wink.

I blush at her words, but relax in my seat knowing that I won't have to break up with Brittany if she said she didn't like the breadsticks.

I'm kidding, of course, though I would be lying if for a fleeting instant I wouldn't think of it.

"Good right?" I take a bite of my own and my mouth just explodes with gratefulness.

"Oh my god," she finishes her first one in nearly two bites. "Jesus, how could I have not known?"

"It's because you didn't know me," I say coyly. Brittany rolls her eyes at me and continues to devour the food in front of her. "My very first date was in this restaurant. If you could really even call it that."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm. His mom drove us up here and sat in the parking lot while we had dinner." That was really the only date I had ever been on until I went out with Brittany. I would go out to dinner with a guy, but there were always friends around.

"Aww," Brittany comments. "My first date was awful," Brittany takes a bite of her spaghetti and meat balls before continuing. "He took me to that one spot. You know the spot right? The spot?"

I nod because who doesn't know about the spot? And that's literally what we called it too. Seems us Lima folk aren't very creative with titles.

"Yeah, all he did was try to stick his tongue down my throat. Totally gross," she shivers." I think I went home and took like three showers. He just made me feel so gross."

I scoff at the prospect of anyone but me touching Brittany. I try not to show it as I take a drink of water.

Brittany and I finish our dinner before heading back to my house. There isn't anyone home when we get in though. My dad is back at work and Maya is either out with some friends or with her boyfriend. I don't really mind though. I could definitely use some alone time with Brittany. Always having someone to worry about is exhausting and, although the prospect of having sex with the possibility of getting caught is exciting to some, I would really rather my dad and sister not see that.

Brittany falls face first onto the couch and I follow her lead, laying directly on top of her, so my front is pressed up against her back. I find her hands underneath our bodies and we lay like that for a few moments until Brittany is telling me that her arms are going numb. I sit up and scoot to the end of the couch, opening my arms up for Brittany to join me. She does, coming to lay her head down on my chest.

I place a kiss to the top of her head before stretching to reach the remote that's on the side table. I flip through the different stations just waiting for something to catch my eye and it does. On the news is _the man himself._

"Puckerman?" I ask in astonishment. "Huh," I laugh.

"Who's Puckerman?" Brittany mutters.

"Puck," I point to the TV where he is laying out the details for the weather for the rest of the week. "I went to high school with him."

"You know a famous person?" Brittany questions. "Don't let him forget where he came from," she tells me. "Fame gets to people."

"Puck was a lost cause before fame," I laugh again. "Nothing can save him."

Brittany lays quietly on my chest and after the thrill of seeing someone I know on TV wears off, I just decide to turn it off and lay with Brittany in my arms. My eyes are closed as I feel the steady rising and falling of her chest against my side. I am just about to doze off when I feel Brittany move on top of me.

Brittany moves up my body until her face is just an inch from my own. She smiles down at me, curling the tips of her fingers around my jaw and flattening her palm around me cheek. I turn my head to nibble at her palm, softly biting down on the flesh. Brittany giggles and I place a kiss where my teeth just were.

I lean up to capture her lips in mine, taking in in their softness. Our mouths work together, gently at first, but it fades as Brittany's tongue pushes past my lips. My whole body lights up as the taste of her consumes me. Hands start roaming as soft moans begin to fill the room, but Brittany pulls away all too quickly, resting her forehead against my chest.

"I don't want to get carried away," she breathes out as she lifts her head again.

"Yeah," I agree even though the prospect of getting caught right now doesn't seem to faze me. I'm sure my mind would change if it actually happened though.

/

"Where is she," I anxiously slam my hands against the steering wheel. "We said seven o clock. Did we not?" I turn to Brittany who is sitting in the passenger seat eating the doughnuts we took from my house.

"Yep. Seven," she answer as she licks her fingers to try and get the icing off.

"It's almost seven fifteen. I just want to get home," I cry, laying my head down on the wheel. "I'm so tired."

"I can drive if you want?" Brittany says softly as she scratches the small of my back.

"But you must be just as tired as I am," I turn to look at her. She doesn't look tired though. She hardly ever does in the morning.

"Not really," she answers. "Remember I had that long nap before the party last night."

It wasn't really a party. It was just my dad, Maya, her boyfriend and Brittany and I. We basically just sat around all night and watched the various countdowns to the New Year. Then at midnight we all gathered around outside to listen to the neighbors scream and shoot off some fireworks.

"It was a bad idea to leave today. Maybe I should just call Rachel and Quinn and tell them we can leave tomorrow."

"Quinn is probably already waiting for you on her front porch. Seriously baby, just let me drive for a couple hours. You can get some sleep in the back."

"Are you sure?" I look up to her.

"Yep," she answers, already unbuckling her seatbelt to swap places with me. I would really rather stay up here with her than share a seat with Quinn or Rachel. "I just need your iPod." Brittany still hasn't given up on her goal to listen to every Now CD.

I roll out of my seat and into the cold Ohio air when I finally see Rachel coming out of her front door.

"The queen has arrived," I say sarcastically as Brittany pops open the trunk for Rachel to throw her things into.

"Sorry," she says hastily. "I woke up late."

"Whatever," I mumble, too cold to argue with her right now. I quickly climb into the passenger seat and dig in my pocket to grab my iPod. Thankfully it kept our place.

Brittany was right about Quinn waiting for us to arrive on her front porch. If it were me, I would be watching from the window, but it's Quinn so...

"Hey guys," she pulls her coat tighter around her body as she climbs in the back seat.

"I brought a blanket," Rachel interjects as she twists around to pull one out, offering it to Quinn. Quinn accepts it with a grateful smile and they both curl up together in the back.

Brittany is bobbing her head to the music, so I twist my body to face the window and let the light from the sun warm me. It takes a few minutes, but eventually I find myself falling asleep.

A couple hours turns into five and as the day goes on, the harder it is to stay cooped up in this car. Especially when Rachel is singing along to all the songs.

"Okay guys," I say during a rare moment of quiet. "Who is in favor of stopping and finding a place to eat?" I look to my right and see Brittany eagerly raising her hand. Quinn also has her hand raised in the back, but Rachel is fast asleep. "Q, wake her up."

Quinn shakes Rachel's shoulder and she eventually awakes from her slumber.

"Food," Quinn groans to Rachel who in turn holds her stomach.

"Yes food," Rachel agrees. "I'm so hungry I could eat a cow." Everyone in the car looks at her with a weird expression. "It's a figure of speech guys."

"I heard Rachel wants to go to a steak house? Is that right Britt?"

"Mmm, steak," Brittany groans. Even Quinn groans and she doesn't even like steak that much.

It _must_ be time for lunch.

We decide on a burger joint that was off the highway and thankfully they have salads because if they didn't, we would have to relocate.

"So, remember that play I auditioned for a while back?" Rachel says as she stuffs some crackers into her mouth. Brittany nods her head, but I shake mine. Rachel has auditioned for so many plays over the past couple of years, it's really hard to keep track of all of them. "Well opening day is this month and it would be great if all of you could come."

"Of course we will," Quinn assures Rachel.

I just continue to eat my burger. I really hate plays. Most of the time they are just boring and I never pay attention long enough to know what's happening in them.

"Santana?" Rachel addresses me. "Will you be there?"

_Oh crap_.

I look from Quinn and then to Brittany. All three are eagerly awaiting my answer.

"I guess," I mumble.

"Oh yay!" Rachel exclaims. "You guys get front row seats because you are _such_ good friends with the star of the show."

When Rachel finally settles down about the play, it is Quinn's turn to share some news.

"So, Santana?"

"Hmm," I lift my head off the table long enough to look at Quinn.

"Remember that woman from the art show?"

"The creepy one with the really big smile?" I ask. How could I forget someone like that?

"She's not creepy," Quinn defends. "Anyway, she contacted me," Quinn squeals.

"Okay?" I question, my eyebrows squishing together as I wait for her to explain.

"She want me to make her a piece."

"She's gonna buy more of your work?" my brain finally catches up to the significance of what she is telling me.

"Well, yeah. If she likes it." Quinn looks so excited and she hardly ever does, so this must be big for her.

"Wow," Brittany and I gasp at the same time.

"She must've really liked your other project," Rachel chimes in.

"This is so crazy," Quinn dips her head in her hands. "And so much fucking pressure. She is like a really big deal in California. What if she doesn't like what I make?"

"_Are you kidding me_?" I almost choke on my burger. "Quinn, Brittany and I were speechless when we saw your last piece. It was incredible."

"Yeah, Brittany agrees. "It was beautiful."

"Even I was speechless," Rachel adds.

"See," I wave my hand toward Rachel. "If she was speechless, you know something was right about it."

/

As soon as I step foot into my bedroom, Brittany and I both fall onto my mattress. It feels so good to finally be back in a familiar bed. Even my old one isn't as good as this one. Brittany tucks her hands close to her body as she curls up on her side next to me. Being cooped up for ten hours really takes a lot out of a person.

Brittany smiles softly at me, taking the hand that was resting on my stomach in hers. She toys with the tips of my fingers as we silently lay in each other's company.

"See," she yawns. "I told you I could handle your family."

I turn my head to look at her. She has her eyes closed and her mouth slightly hanging open.

"Yeah," I breathe and her eyes crack open the tinniest bit, just enough to see a sliver of blue. "When do you go back to work?" I ask softly. Brittany groans in response, stretching her body out before coming to lay her head down on my chest.

"Monday."

"Hey, at least you still have a full week off," I tell her, running my fingers through her hair.

"Mmm," she mumbles.

Later that night, or I guess it technically would be morning, I wake up. I grab my phone off of the night stand to see the time. Brittany and I probably fell asleep around eight, meaning that I was bound to wake up before the morning.

Brittany is still fast asleep and I lazily roll over and toy with the hem of her shirt before lifting it up and running my hand across her stomach. Brittany starts to stir underneath my touch, so I lean over to give her a peck on the lips.

She mumbles something incoherent before wrapping her fingers around the back of my neck to pull me back to her. We lazily kiss for a few moments, still too tired to really focus much, but when Brittany's hips cant forward into mine, all my senses wake up. Brittany's breath catches in her throat and I can feel the way her chest rises and falls just a little faster now. I can feel her heart racing beneath my own as we kiss in total darkness. I reach around searching for Brittany's hand. When I find it, I lace our fingers together as Brittany arches her entire body into me. My other hand rests on her hip bone, softly squeezing the flesh before it travels up her side.

Brittany's mouth falls open, a shaky breath trembling from her lips as my hand palms her breast through the thin material of her shirt.

"_San_," she breathes out, grabbing a fist full of my shirt and tugging on it. I sit up to quickly whip it off my body and when I do, Brittany comes with me, sitting up so I am sitting in her lap.

My legs wrap around Brittany's waist to keep myself steady as she leans up to recapture my lips with hers. Her hands travel up and down my back, around myfront and just everywhere as they leave little tingles in their path. I can feel the excitement of her hands being somewhere else pooling in my underwear and I have to push myself down on her leg to relieve some of the pressure.

Brittany slips a hand into my pajama pants, pushing past my underwear and cups my center. I let out a sharp gasp, my head falling to her shoulder as she begins to move her fingers through my slick folds. It feels so good that I can't hold back the tiny moan as her fingers lightly toy with my clit causing the pleasure to shoot all the way through my body. My hands cup her cheeks, pushing our mouths together, harder than necessary as I try to take in the feeling between my legs.

"_Britt_," I whine when she keeps lightly flicking me, just enough to literally drive me crazy. She presses down harder, sliding her fingers down to my entrance and then back up. I let out another groan of frustration.

"You're so wet," she says hotly, her breath hitting the side of my face as I suck both of my lips into my mouth. Brittany's hand stops moving between my legs. She nudges my nose with hers before kissing me gently.

My heart is still beating wildly in my chest as my hand runs down her abs, scratching against the material of her shirt. I slide my hand further down her body, until it is hovering over the waistband of her pajama pants. Brittany lifts her body enough to slide the material over the curve of her ass and I lift mine so she can kick them off.

When I look down at her newly exposed flesh, the heartbeat between my legs increases. I carefully take off my pants too, and then I am back sitting in Brittany's lap with no barriers between our most intimate parts.

Brittany pulls me closer to her body, my sensitive center coming in contact with hers for the briefest of moments. A barely there touch that causes both of us to gasp at the contact. She kisses me hard, her tongue finding mine with ease and massaging it. I scoot back from her just enough so I can reach between our bodies, the need to touch her becoming overwhelming.

Hot air escapes her lips when my fingertips brush over her most sensitive area, hitting my mouth in shaky patterns. Brittany's hand returns to where it was working before, causing my body to jerk unexpectedly.

Brittany giggles, moving her fingers harder and faster against me. I do the same to her, wanting to match the rhythm she is setting, but my mind and body are not working together right now. Instead, I break the kiss.

"Wait, wait, wait," I pant out. Brittany slows down her movements but doesn't stop. I try and find the words I was going to say, but I can't think straight right now.

"What is it?" She asks innocently.

"I want," I try to get out again, but end up groaning in frustration when Brittany dips her fingers lower, putting the very tips inside of me.

"What do you want?" She husks into my ear, licking the shell before sucking the lobe into her mouth.

"Mmm," I hum into her shoulder. I can't help the way my hips roll forward, pushing her fingers deeper inside of me. Brittany begins pumping in and out of me, drawing a deep and satisfied sigh from within my chest.

My throat is getting dry from all the heavy breathing I am doing and I can feel the sweat starting to form between our bodies. Then my previous thoughts come back to me as I begging working my hand between Brittany's legs again. She bites down on the side of my neck pulling the flesh between her teeth. It causes me to wince in pain, but it's quickly forgotten as she hits a particular spot inside of me. It feels like I am going to explode with ecstasy.

"Together," I manage to choke out. I can feel my walls closing around Brittany's fingers. "Come with me," I say more clearly this time.

Brittany nods her head furiously as we both move faster into each other's hands and it doesn't take long for me to fall over the edge and Brittany just seconds later. I push my forehead against hers, as our bodies shake together and we gasp into each other's mouths.

Brittany falls back onto the mattress. I do the same, rolling off to the side and draping my arm across her torso. Both of our breathing is still heavy and I notice the clammy feeling of Brittany's skin as my arm lays against her.

I can't even begin to describe what that felt like. To have the best feeling in the world while simultaneously watching the best thing in the world happen was just-

"That was amazing," Brittany breathes and she begins pulling my arm until I lift my head up. She takes my lips in hers, kissing me so gently it makes my head spin. "You're amazing," her thumbs brush out against my cheeks.

I smile against her lips, those butterflies fluttering around in my stomach the way only Brittany can make them.

/

The rest of the break went by way too quickly. I guess that's what happens when you stay in bed all day and do nothing. When I woke up this morning, I had to tell myself that I would only be here for a couple of hours as motivation to move.

I made it though, and that's what's important.

My eyes dart across all the unfamiliar faces as I walk toward Bennington hall. It seems as though this happens every semester. Sure there are maybe one or two people I know, but other than that? I don't know anyone and since Brian and I aren't exactly speaking anymore, that pretty much leaves no one.

I would be lying if I said I didn't miss his friendship.

This is my first class of the day and despite fighting with myself to wake up, I actually made it here pretty early.

Twenty seven minutes, to be exact.

I find a bench away from everyone and take a seat, just happy to get out of the cold.

This is my last semester in school and I'm feeling really good about it and excited that I won't have to worry about homework all the time, but I also am scared to death.

People always say after high school, you need to be ready for the real world, but I'm thinking it's more after college. You know, when you have to get a big girl job and have all these responsibilities like paying bills and what not. Maybe even get a 401K.

I have three classes standing between me and my degree. I am just going to try and enjoy this last semester (as much as you can enjoy school) before shit gets real.

Brittany told me to call her today, said she had some news for me, so I pick up my phone and dial her number.

"I'm all alone," I whisper as students starts filling up the hallway.

"No you're not," she says and I swear I can hear the smile in her voice. "Where are you right now?" She sounds confused. "It's like a zoo in this place."

"Wait, you're here?" I say, a smile starting to form on my own face.

"Well," she starts. "I'm not really sure where I am right now."

"Describe what you see," I laugh.

"Um," she pauses, probably looking around at everything. "There is a huge building right in front of me."

"Oh, you're right outside where I am. I'll be down in a second." I swing my book bag over my shoulders and fly down the steps to find Brittany standing there.

"Hey," she smiles at me warmly.

"Hey," I give her a kiss on the lips. "What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Remember when I told you I have news?" She says nervously, grabbing my elbow and walks us toward a nearby bench. She sits down and folds her hands in her lap. I look at her curiously before joining her. She lets out a sigh, twisting her lips between her teeth before turning to me.

"You're making me nervous," I say through a giggle as I grab her hands. Brittany lets out a nervous laugh too, though her face remains neutral. "What's going on?" I ask carefully.

Brittany stares down at our hands, carefully toying with my fingers.

"I-" she starts before looking away and looking around the common area. She takes a deep breath and slowly turns her head back to me. "I want to give you something," she reaches into her coat pocket and pulls out an envelope, handing it to me. I reach for it, furrowing my eyebrows together. She pulls it back at the last moment though. "You can't open it until I leave," she swallows thickly. "Okay?"

"Okay," I draw out, cocking my head to the side.

"Okay," she repeats calmly, her face finally loosing up. "I'm gonna go now," she stands up and starts backing away, but my fingers are still threaded with hers.I pull her back to me, staring up in the process while I give her a curious look. "What?" She questions.

"You're acting weird," I smile.

"No, I'm not." Her lips quirk up at the sides. She leans down to peck my lips, but I don't let her pull away that quickly. I sneak my tongue into her mouth, which she clearly wasn't expecting because a surprised moan leaves her lips.

"Yes you are," I mumble against her mouth. "I love you," I whisper.

"Love you too," she winks and then walks away. Eventually she turns back around yelling at me to not forget to read whatever is in here.

As if I could.

I stand there for a few moments, watching Brittany disappear before I shake my head and start walking back to class.

I take a seat in the back row, like I usually do, and twirl the envelope around in my hands. Since I enjoyed psychology so much last semester I decided to take another one for my final elective credit. It's the same teacher, so it's going to be just as awesome. Not to mention, this class will focus more on human behavior.

It's in a lecture hall, so there are a lot of students, which is good because that means I don't have to do a presentation.

I jump a little when I feel someone slide into the seat next to me, successfully pulling me out of my thoughts. I look out of the corner of my eye and try my hardest to stifle my laughter. Brittany is sitting there with a notebook and a pair of glasses on.

"Um, babe?" I manage to get out. "I think you're in the wrong classroom." She turns her head to me, and this time I can't hold back the laugh. "Brittany," I grab hold of her arm as I lean forward laughing. Her eyes are magnified by the glasses that clearly aren't hers.

"What?" She asks innocently. "Is there something on my face?"

"You're just full of surprises today," I shake my head before I finally calm down.

"You didn't read the note yet did you?" She asks me.

"I was just about to," I tell her.

"Well," she points to it with her hand. "Go ahead."

I carefully tear open the envelope and pull out the piece of paper. I unfold it and don't find any written words on it. I look over to Brittany with furrowed brows. She laughs and takes it from my hands, and flips the paper over.

It just says surprise.

"I don't get it," I tell her.

"Surprise," she smiles brightly at me.

"You are in this class with me?" She shakes her head at me. "Transferred schools?" She shakes her head again. "Babe," I laugh again, just wanting to know the meaning behind this.

"You need to pay attention," Brittany scolds lightly. I look around the classroom and find that most of the seats are occupied and the teacher is setting up her things.

"But Brit-"

"Shh," she cuts me off, pointing to the instructor. I sink back in my chair, folding my arms across my chest. "Oh, wow," Brittany whispers. "I see why you like this class so much," she nudges my shoulder with hers. I roll my eyes at her as the instructor greets the class.

Yeah, she is incredibly good looking, but that has nothing to do why I love this class so much.

...well maybe a little.

"All right guys," the instructor speaks. "I know everyone has been waiting for this class all week." There are a few laughs around the room, even Brittany lets out a light chuckle. "Ladies, have you ever wanted to manipulate your boyfriend? Or girlfriend, I don't judge. This really works on anyone though."

Brittany turns to me, raising her eyebrows as if she is intrigued by the idea. We both sit and listen intently to what she is talking about, with me furiously taking down notes so I can remember all of it.

After the lecture is over, I grab my bag and Brittany and I head out into the hallway. I reach for her hand and lace out fingers together as we walk out of the building. I pull Brittany off to the side, away from the traffic of bustling students.

"So," I run my free hand across the lapel of Brittany's jacket as my other hand toys with her fingers. "You're sorta killing me here. What's the news?"

"I work here," she smiles proudly at me.

My eyebrows shoot up to my hairline.

"You work here?" I question.

"Well, unofficially," she responds. "A client of mine is the director of photography here. He said if I wanted I could shadow him for a few weeks with projects around campus," she finishes with an excited bounce.

"Shadow him? That better not be code for something," I narrow my eyes at her.

"I don't think you have to worry," she smiles. "He's like eighty," she waves it off.

"You get paid?"

"No, it's just for experience, and," she grabs my hand again. "I'll be on campus with you for a while. When is your lunch?"

"Uh- right now."

"Sweet," she pumps her fist in the air. "I've got," Brittany pulls out her phone to check the time. "An hour."

/

"I was thinking," I pick at the edge of my cheeseburger that turned out to be crappy. I don't know why I even try to eat the food here. I always convince myself that because it smells good, it will taste good. "About getting a job."

"A job?"

"Yeah, I figure I might as well start working again. Right?" Brittany nods her head as she takes another bite of her cheese fries.

"Have you thought about what you want to do after college anymore?" I chew my bottom lip and give a tiny shrug. "I just mean because you could start looking for something that will actually help you when you graduate."

"Yeah I know," I point my plastic fork at her. "I have, but you'll just laugh," I shake my head and look down at my lap.

"I won't laugh at you, babe."

I give her a skeptical look before I take a deep breath. "Well, I was thinking psychology. Or like, social work?"

"Why would I laugh at that?" She asks seriously.

"I don't know?" I cringe. It's so weird thinking of careers. "Does it seem like something I would be good at?" I lean in closer to the table to rest my elbows. "I mean can you see me looking all official? Wearing a skirt and nice shirt with my hair up in a bun and glasses?" I look down to my very professional looking jeans and hoodie and just can't imagine having to dress up for work every day.

"Oh, I can see it," Brittany stares above my head as if she can see the image floating around up there. "You have all that stuff, right? I mean, if we were to skip the rest of the day and just go home..." She lets herself trail off.

"You wanna," I say, my voice low. She looks like she's considering the idea, but then I shake my head. "Wait- no. Focus Britt," I laugh. "Tonight though," I point at her.

"I think you would be great at anything you do," she smiles at me.

"Ugh," I scoff. "You have to say that. You're my girlfriend."

"No," she reaches across the table to take my hand. "I'm saying that because I think it's true."

"You don't think people will cower in fear when they hear they have to come see Mrs. Lopez?"

"Nah," she shakes her head. "I think they will say 'hey Mark! I get to go see that super sexy and extremely helpful Mrs. Lopez'. Except, if they try anything with you, I will totally kick their asses,"

"I don't know," I sigh, dropping my head into my hands.

"I do," her voice is soft and gently as she pulls my hands away from my face. A small smile begins to form on my face. "And I think that we should start your psychological career by testing Rachel."

"Oh, that'll be fun," I rub my hands together. "I suggest shock therapy."

"Okay, no," Brittany lightly scolds. "Maybe a dog whistle though. She told me she could hear pitches as high as a dog," Brittany rolls her eyes.

"First goal. Making her my personal servant." Brittany laughs as she finishes the last of her fries. "We need to buy chocolate."

"Mmm," Brittany interjects. "Jelly Beans. She eats them all the time."

"All right jelly beans then." I look at the clock that is hanging on the wall behind Brittany. "I gotta get to class," I start gathering my things. "I'll see you later?"

Brittany pushes out of her chair, smoothing her hands down her jacket.

"I can walk you to class. Then you can point out where Lucas Hall is."

"Sure."

Brittany downs the rest of her water and we begin walking through the freezing cold again. I cannot wait until it gets warmer out. Sometimes I forget just how beautiful this campus is. Especially in the spring when all the leaves start growing back on the trees. It's nice to just sit out here and work on homework when the weather is nice.

"That's your building," I point Brittany in the right direction.

"Okay, so I need your help with something tonight," she says as we come to a stop, wringing her hands together. "If you're not busy," she adds quickly.

"I'm not," I grab one of her hands in mine, fanning out my fingers before they join together. "Do I get to know what this is about?" I smirk at her. "Or are you going to be all secretive again?"

"No," she says quickly. "I mean yes, but not till tonight."

"So you are going to be secretive," I nod my head. Figured as much.

"Kinda," she sucks her lips into her mouth.

I roll my eyes at her.

"I'll see you later," I call over my shoulder as I hastily walk toward my class.

/

"Rachel," I call from Brittany's bedroom. There is still a while before she gets home and I wanted to be here when she does. Plus, the whole Rachel mind game was too exciting too wait for.

"What do you want," she pokes her head in through the door. "And it better not have anything to do with-"

"I'm kinda hungry," I cut her off.

Rachel stares blankly at me from the doorway.

"And..." She draws out when I don't continue.

"You know that infamous sandwich you make?"

"The vegetarian one?" She perks up.

"Yes that one," I answer. "Could you make me one? I was thinking about going vegetarian."

"Really?" She laughs, crossing her arms across her chest and looks at me like she doesn't believe me. And she shouldn't the idea of me becoming a vegetarian is almost as outrageous as her not being one.

"Really. And I thought, why not have the best vegetarian sandwich maker in the universe make me a sandwich? Learn from the best," I shrug my shoulder.

"Oh my god," she clasps her hands together. "Okay, I'll be right back."

"Wait!" I stop her before she leaves. "Could you put some bologna on it?"

"But you just-"

"One step at a time," I tell her.

"Right," she snaps her fingers and then leaves.

I lean back on Brittany's bed, folding my arms behind my head. This is going to be easier than I thought. Brittany got a TV from her parents for Christmas, so I start flipping through the limited amount of channels there are before I give up. Nothing is on this time of day.

I lean over to where my purse is laying on the opposite side of the bed. I pull out the bag of jelly beans I picked up on my way over here and get a few out.  
Rachel comes back into the room carrying a plate with her.

"Here you go," she hands he plate to me.

"Ugh," I look down to the jelly beans. "These are so gross," Rachel curiously looks into the palm of my hand and I can see it written on her face that she wants them.

"I love those," she almost squeals, but then quickly composes herself.

"Here," I hand them to her. Rachel pops all of them into her mouth at once and then chews them, loudly, not making any effort to move. "Are you gonna watch me eat?" I stop myself right before taking a bite.

"I wanna know if you like it."

I quickly take a bite and try not to make a face at the obscene amount of mustard on the sandwich.

"S' good," I manage to get out before thickly swallowing. It's actually not good at all. I think she put mustard on it and not the good mustard. _Honey_ mustard. I hate anything that taste like honey, except for honey, which is ironic. "You know what would go perfect with this?" I ask her. Since she isn't leaving, I might as well use it to my benefit. "A soda."

Rachel mumbles something under her breath before getting up to get my soda. While she is gone I pull out some more jelly beans.

"Mmm," I hum when she returns, taking the soda from her hands and setting it on the nightstand. "Here," I extend my other hand. "Found some more."

Rachel takes them again, smiling to herself, only this time she doesn't pop them all into her mouth. She picks each one up separately, inspects it and then eats it.

"Why aren't you eating your sandwich," she frowns down at me.

"Because I can't with you sitting there," I tell her. It's better than me telling her I can't eat it because it tastes awful. That would soil my plans of making her my personal slave.

"Fine," she huffs getting up and walking toward the door. "Don't forget opening night is Thursday," she tells me.

"How could I? You remind me every ten minutes."

"Thursday," she points, exiting the room.

/

Brittany's laptop is open on her desk, so I decide to get up and look for some part time jobs. My very, very, very, very, last resort would be fast food. Very last resort. I just want to make a little extra money.

Brittany keeps insisting that she pay for our dates because I don't have a job. I'm not really a fan of that idea, sometimes I want to pay too. It's nice, don't get me wrong, but I always feel like such a mooch.

I search for about half an hour, finding a few places that sound bearable and print out the applications.

I sit there in the computer chair, twisting myself around when something catches my eye from across the room. I get up to investigate when there is a sound from the hallway, coming toward the room.

Feeling guilty for even thinking about snooping around Brittany's room, I quickly jump onto the bed and pick up my phone to make it look less suspicious. Not a second later, Brittany walks through the doorway.

"Hey," I crawl over to her on all fours, meeting her at the foot of the bed. I sit up on my knees, grabbing the flaps of her jacket and pull her into a kiss. "You look so beautiful today," I say as I pull her onto the mattress, crawling backwards and pulling her on top of me.

"Mmm," she hums as she tries to catch herself on the bed, but her arms buckle and our bodies crash together.

"Get rid of this," I begin pulling her jacket off and toss it to the floor.

"S-tana-" Brittany tries to speak.

"Hmm?" I hum as I try pulling up her shirt. Brittany's hands come to stop mine.

"What are you doing?" I start to work on the button of her pants as my legs come up and wrap around her waists to keep her close to me. I get the button popped open and start pulling them down.

"What's it look like," I nip at her bottom lip.

"Okay," Brittany says breathlessly when I attach my lips to her neck. "Slow down though," she laughs. She tries to push me down. I reluctantly pull away, my chest heaving up and down. "Remember that thing I needed help with?" I nod my head, sucking my lips into my mouth and trying to control my breathing. "I have to go to a banquet dinner tonight and I need you there with me," she toys with the collar of my shirt.

"Yeah?" I ask. "And when is that?"

"In like three hours," She admits. "And I still have to shower."

"Three hours?" I ask. "That's plenty of time," I begin kissing her again.

"Come with me?" She asks, a smile playing at her lips.

"I thought I was?" Wasn't that the point of her asking for my help tonight?

"In the shower, silly," she leans down to kiss my cheek.

"Oh," I breathe out. "Uh- yeah-," I choke on my words as the image of a naked and glistening wet Brittany plays through my mind.

I don't have anything to wear though as soon as that thought leaves my mind, I notice that Brittany has already headed out the door and into the bathroom.

I quickly grab my phone and ask Quinn to bring me something, then run off down the hall and into the bathroom.

Brittany is already half naked when I enter and I choke on my breath and watch with amazement as she slowly steps out of her pants and underwear in the same motion. I swallow thickly as I remove my own shirt. After Brittany turns the water on, she looks back to me and grabs hold of my hands that are trying to remove my jeans.

Brittany kisses down my neck and between the valley of my breasts before getting on her knees where she places a single kiss right above the top of my jeans. My body shivers as the air hits the wet trails her lips left behind.

Her hands replace mine as she pops open the button and begins pulling down the zipper painfully slow. The whole time she is starring right into my eyes and I can see the effect she has on me as my stomach muscles start to quiver the lower she gets. Brittany hooks her fingers in the top of my pants and begins tugging them down my legs.

"Sit up here," she says softly.

I hop up on the counter as Brittany pulls my pants the rest of the way off my legs. She smiles up at me and although she is also completely naked, I feel too exposed right now under her intense gaze.

Brittany eyes my body up and down, allowing her eyes to slowly look over every detail. My heart is pounding in my chest. Brittany places her palms on top of my thighs running them down their length until she stops at my knees parting them softly before stepping between my legs.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" She asks running her nose across my jawline. "And sexy," she breathes into my ear. "So sexy."

Her voice cause my body to shiver. I place my hands on her hipbones feeling her soft skin beneath my fingertips. She lays her head down on my shoulder, kissing my neck before she does so.

"We should probably get in," I speak after a few moments. "Before the water gets cold."

"I guess," Brittany sighs, but doesn't make an effort to move.

I hop off the counter, pushing her body out of the way with my own, leaving Brittany standing there. When I step into the shower, I look back at her and see her staring at me again.

"You gonna get in here?" I smirk at her.

Brittany shakes her head before sauntering over to the shower and stepping in with me. I grab both of her hands, pulling her until she is standing under the shower head. Water trickles down her face and into her mouth, causing some to sputter out.

"Oops," I laugh out bringing my hands up to cup her cheeks.

"You're so evil," Brittany says lowly. Brittany wraps her arms around my body leaning back too look at my face. "So were you snooping around my room when I got home?"

"What?" I scoff. "No."

"Mhm," she hums.

"I wasn't," I answer quickly.

Brittany narrows her eyes, but doesn't press the matter any further. Instead she just leans down to kiss me as the water cascades down on our bodies.

"Turn around," I mumble into Brittany's lips. She looks at me skeptically, but eventually she does.

I run my eyes down her body admiring the way the water makes her skin glisten.  
I grab the shampoo from the ledge, placing some in the palm of my hand before applying it to Brittany's hair. I let my fingertips massage her scalp, letting her know when I am finished so she can rinse. I do the same with the conditioner, making sure to comb out all the knots with my fingers.

Unable to stop myself, I step forward, brushing Brittany's hair to the side. My lips find purchase on her wet skin, tasting the way the two mix together. Brittany arches her neck to the side, exposing more for me. My hands reach around to her front, squeezing her breast in my hands, kneading and rolling until I feel her nipples harden beneath my palms.

Brittany reaches out, extending her arm to stable herself against the shower wall. My breasts are pressed against her back as I fit myself to Brittany, molding our bodies together so that we are basically one. My hands travel down her abs, flattening themselves out as Brittany leans further back into me. My lips are still pressed to her shoulder when suddenly the water turns ice cold. I jolt forward into Brittany, causing her to lose her footing and we both slip down into the tub. Our bodies tangle together, but Brittany quickly sits up to turn off the faucet.

"Shit," she shivers as I tilt my head back in laughter. Brittany lets out a light laugh as well, until the two of us are grasping into each other unable to control ourselves.

When the laughter subsides and we realize that we are both still very naked and now freezing, we get out to grab a towel. There are only two towels in the bathroom though, one of which I assume is Rachel's, so Brittany opens her arms for me to step in with her. She wraps me up, making sure that I am all the way in with her. I tuck my hands into my chest and burrow myself as close as possible.

"We should plan that out better next time," I say, my teeth chattering.

"Yeah," Brittany agrees as a shiver racks through her body. She reaches behind me for something and when she does, a gust of chilled air hits my body. "Here," she wraps what I assume to be her robe around my body. "You wear this." Brittany places a kiss to my forehead as she adjust the towel around her own body before gathering up her clothes.

Brittany and I exit the bathroom giggling and hanging onto each other when a voice stops us in our tracks.

"You dirty dogs," I snap my head toward the living room while Brittany pushes me behind her body.

"What are you doing in my apartment?" She snaps as I try to free myself from her iron clasp.

"Whoa, whoa, tiger. Calm down," the voice is enough for me to recognize the person. "I'm a friend of Santana's and Santana," he addresses me, "this better be Brittany."

"I'm Brittany," she answers as she releases my arm. I look down at my arm and can see where her fingers wrapped around. "Oh baby, I'm sorry," she gingerly touches the spot as I come to stand beside her.

I smile up at her and let her know it's okay before turning back to Kurt who is now walking toward us.

"Wow," he gasps as he takes his eyes over Brittany's body, which it still only wrapped up in a towel. "I mean- look at you. Damn."

"Uh-," Brittany says uncomfortably as she curls into my side, trying to cover more of herself up.

"Kurt, keep it in your pants," I push his shoulder.

"What are you guys up to tonight?" He asks.

"Going to a dinner," I shrug. "We actually have to get ready," I turn to Brittany.

"What about after? I'm taking Rachel and Quinn to a gay bar," he says excitedly. "You two are more than welcome to join us." Kurt turns his body toward Brittany. "You're a dancer, right?" She nods her head. "Oh, yay! You can be my partner in crime tonight then. See you chicas later," he calls as he returns to whatever he was doing before.

"A gay bar?" Brittany questions as we are getting dressed. Apparently Quinn sent Kurt over to bring me an outfit, so that's actually why he was here.

"Yeah," I pull my dress over my head. "Should be interesting."

"Yeah rache-" Brittany stops speaking as she turns around to look at me.

"What?" I question when I notice Brittany staring at me. "Is this not appropriate?" I look down at the black dress that Kurt brought over with him. I mean, it's not what I usually where out because I am definitely certain that would be inappropriate, but this one is simple. Not skin tight. Not too short. It's what I wear when I have to look sophisticated.

"No- it's-" Brittany shakes her head, smiling to herself as she steps closer to me. "I love you," she pulls me into a kiss.

"You look amazing too," I say when she finally steps away.

/

"I lied to you," Brittany says quickly to me when we enter the cab.

"About what?"

"We're not going to a banquet," she slides her eyes over to me.

"Okay," I draw out. "Where are we going then?"

"Uh-," she says nervously. "It's a surprise."

I want to ask Brittany what this is about, but something tells me she has been thinking about this for a while now. So instead of asking any further questions, I lean back in my seat and watch the cars pass us by as the sun sets behind us.

I must fall asleep or something because when I open my eyes, there is no longer rows and rows of tall buildings and I can actually see the sky when I look out the window. I rub the sleep from my eyes before turning to Brittany with a confused look.

"Almost there," she assures me. "Here is good," Brittany tells the driver.

He stops and turns back to us.

"Thirty minutes?" He says in a thick accent.

"Thirty minutes," Brittany repeats as she steps out of the car. She holds out her hand to me and I slide out across the back seats. When I take a look at our surroundings, the breath catches in my throat. It looks absolutely beautiful out here. "Right up there is where we are going," Brittany point up to a ledge.  
When we make it up the hill, I walk toward the edge and stare out into the valley below.

"This is so beautiful," I turn back to Brittany who is putting away her camera. She must have snapped some photos.

"Yeah," she breathes. "I just wanted to show it to you," she smiles at me. "Now get over here." Brittany has a blanket laid out on the floor and she is holding an extra one in her hands as she opens up her arms for me to sit in front of her, so I do. I nuzzle back into her embrace and she wraps us both in the blanket. "It's even prettier in the winter." She runs her fingers down my thighs. "When the air is crisp and clear."

I hum out an agreement, although I am still confused about all of this and why we are here.

"Being here reminds me of home," she tells me, and I squeeze her hands that are resting on top of my own. "When I first moved out here and I got homesick, I would always come here."

"How did you find it?" I ask softly.

"I was just driving around one night and I decided to stop here," she shrugs, "and I'm so glad I did. I use this spot for a lot of my photography. It's really incredible during the day too. I just wanted to show it to you because it's where I come when things get too overwhelming and I know you sometimes feel like that too. Everyone does. It can be like- our place."

The way those last two words leave Brittany's mouth, pulls something in my heart.

_Our place._

It sounds so nice. Even if it is just a random spot on the earth.

"Stop being so perfect," I twist around to take Brittany's face in my hands, resting our foreheads together.

"I'll stop when you do," she breathes.

* * *

**Finally! I had some stuff happen in my family, so the past couple of weeks have been a little rough. I apologize again for the long wait. **

**Also, I uploaded this on my phone, so if there are any weird mistakes, that's why. **

**:) **


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